Definitely Not A Rocket Scientist

Is it any coincidence this guy's name is Kramer?

Uhh..duh.. "I thought I was dead." They declined to arrest him? Surely, this girl has got to be looking at other options. Seriouslah lol If you're wondering, yes, I do read the Anchorage Daily News online. What?

Other mostly useless info:
Happy birthday today to Gabe Kaplan. He is 59. It's a little known fact that before his comedy career, he pursued a professional baseball career. And maybe a lesser known fact is that he was somewhat of a mentor for a young Jerry Seinfeld. ROFL

(From "The Fatigues")
Abby: "I'm her protege. You must have someone like that, you know, who guides you in your career path?"
Jerry: "Well, I like Gabe Kaplan."

Man, I loved that show, "Welcome Back, Kotter." They did a marathon one weekend on TVLand. It was great! I think you know where we're going with the lyrics for this bloglet... John Sebastian, babee!!

"Welcome back. Your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back, to that same old place that you laughed about. Well, the names have all changed since you hung around. But those dreams have remained and they're turned around..."

A Night At O'Hetero's (with apologies to Robert Smigel)

Received an instant message last night that some of you will enjoy more than others. I wish I would've saved it so I could just paste it here, but this will do. I can't remember the IM name, so I just made one up for effect.

VillageP69: "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Me: "Sure, I guess."
VillageP69: "What is your sexual orientation?"
Me: "Uh, hetero."
VillageP69: "Oh. Is that set in stone?"
Me: "Yes!"
VillageP69: "Well, that's too bad. I was bored and just looking to get into a little mischief."

What the freak? Do my pictures on my AOL page make me look non-hetero? Maybe I need to rethink my image. Maybe these silk shirts and pastel colors just aren't projecting the image I am looking to project. What? Oh well, it probably all goes back to the whole "single, thin, and neat" thing. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Nothing that a night out at O'Hetero's can't cure.

"Quick, let's duck in here. No one will recognize us in these clever disguises."
"Why was everyone calling us names and trying to pick a fight with us, big guy?"
"Well my friend, I guess the Native American still has a long way to go."

Other funnies:
"So why do people call you Little Nibbler?"
"Oh you don't wanna know."
"Really?"
"Well, just because I eat slow." ROFL
"Why do people call you Bone?"
"Oh, don't ask that." WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"I need a lot of motivation to work out. I need a sergeant. lol"
"A kaiser! A czar!"

"Sometimes I wish change could just leave well enough alone. When something is so good, so right, why can't it go on, and on and on? Maybe it's us and our foolish pride. But I never will understand why, change can't leave well enough alone..."

Friends, bloggers, countrymen... hotties... Branch Davidians.. what?

Lend me your ear... or your monitor. Random Sein quote of the day: "If you are thinking of instituting an open-door urination policy, let me disabuse you of that notion right now, my friend." :-) Haven't done that in awhile.

Let's see what's been going on. Oh, the therapist called Sunday and told Dad he was done with his physical therapy. Then the doctor OK'd him to drive Monday. That's great news. Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers.

Recapping today, I did laundry to consummation. Ran by Wal-Mart, and spent money I didn't need to spend on a new CD. Went to Cardinal to get dinner for Kim and me, then went over there to eat with her. Ended up staying over there for about an hour and a half, trying to help her think of a song to play or have sung at her wedding. I also got her in touch with Jessica this weekend. She is going to help direct the wedding, or plan it, or whatever.

Oh, I went by to get my oil changed today. It started me thinking, I used to do that myself. I used to do a lot more myself. What has happened to me? I'm becoming one of those guys who don't do any of that stuff. For crying out loud, I changed plug wires before, installed a radio or two, put on brake shoes, even. Maybe part of it is not having space to work here in an apartment complex. Yes, that's it. That's what I'm blaming it on, at least. lol

Speaking of cars, I saw a gold 1985 Cavalier today. I don't see how that car is still running. That got me to thinking of the cars I've had, because I actually had a gold 1985 Cavalier. First, there was the black 1980 Monte Carlo, which included the rare feature of having the cloth lining hanging down from the ceiling. That was cool.. or not. Also, it wouldn't stop running for a few seconds (or minutes) when I turned off the ignition. I worked at a grocery store at that time, and sometimes I'd park, get out, and be to the door before it would quit running. Next, I had a baby blue 1984 Escort, with sport stripes and louvers on the back window. ROFL I wrecked that one (no, not on purpose, as is widely suspected). My third car was the gold Cavalier. Four rattling cylinders of power. What? It was a four door, which is a nice touch when you are 18 years old. lol Try getting a date in any of those three cars. Not easy. lol I must apologize one more time to the girls I went out with during that time... Leslie, Paige, Cindy, and anyone else. They were real troopers. lol Finally, I was able to afford a decent car next, a burgundy 1989 Mustang. It wasn't a 5.0, but it was still worlds better than anything else. I had it for about 2 and a half years I think, then a few little things started going wrong, little cosmetic things breaking and such, so I got tired of it. That's when I got my Jeep, a white 1993 Wrangler with soft-top. That was cool, definitely my favorite vehicle. Go anywhere, do anything. Nothing was better than taking the top off that thing and riding around. I miss that a lot. Anyway, I had it a little over four years, I think. Finally, it got to the point where it wasn't really practical, plus it didn't have air, so I sold it to Dad. That's when I got my truck, which was the first brand new vehicle I'd ever bought. I still have it. 141,000 miles and thankfully it's still going strong.

Well, that was a little long. Blogger come-on line #27: You know what they say about guys with big blogs? Well, OK, me neither. WOOOOOOOO!!!!

"Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger. Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home. And freedom, whoa, freedom, well that's just some people talkin'. Your prison is walkin' thru this world all alone..."

Spring Break 2005: Destination Decatur?

Philly College Students Spend Spring Break At Wheeler Refuge

OK, first of all, that's a pretty neat story. Secondly, I can't believe there were college hotties in the area, and I missed it. Any other week, I would've been hanging out at the wildlife refuge anyway. Oh wait. What? I'm not even sure what that's supposed to mean. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

"You say the weather in Atlanta is foggy and gray. Work gets harder everyday. And your new boyfriend is holdin' on too tight. I got a gig at the beach, room with a view. The only thing missing here is you. Some fresh ocean breeze might ease your mind..."

JIHAD... triple word score.. 45 points!

Just got done playing online scrabble at games.com. My big word the first game was jihad. LOL Amelia challenged it, but fortunately it was in the scrabble dictionary. That's 45 points, with a triple word score (I used a blank tile for the "a"). Clearly, I have nothing to blog about. Today was a nice day. Had a good hard rain while I was at work. I love the smell of rain. I like when it rains and there are no storms. It's peaceful, refreshing. Then on the way home, the rock station played "Sweet Child O' Mine." I luh dat! Napped for a bit this afternoon, since I only got about five hours sleep again last night.

In the news today, this is just wrong... and gross. Blech. However, there was a running joke going around about someone today, concerning this story. Without going into full detail, it was something like, "well he's gonna live a long time then." lol

I'd like to welcome my good friend, Bunny (aka Lil Booty), to the blog fold. I'll have to add a permanent link soon :-)

"Paint me a Birmingham. Make it look just the way I planned. A little house on the edge of town. Porch goin' all the way around. Put her there in the front yard swing. Cotton dress, make it early Spring. For awhile she'll be mine again, if you can paint me a Birmingham..."

All Allison, All The Time!!

Allison Fisher wins the 2004 Brunswick San Diego Classic

Way to go, baby. Sorry I couldn't be there to support you. That's 2 for 2 this year. Jeanette is playing really well, too. She's finished second to Allison in both WPBA tour events this year, and won the non-points event in Atlanta. Still no word on when the Delta Classic that we attended is going to be televised. I'll keep ya posted.

Hey Kyle! You're gonna love this, man. Looks like Dokovic finished 4th this week. lol She's gonna be on TV!

Funny flashback from 2003: "Excuse me, uh, Dokovic... could I get a picture?" WOOOOOOOOO!!! That's today's "you had to be there" moment.

"You say you wish that I could get to know your new love. Yeah, we'll try to get together now and then. No, I don't think I'll have time to see his picture, not right now. Cos I've enjoyed as much of this as I can stand..."

You've selected Agent Zero? If this is correct, press one...

Sittin' here eating some yellow marshmallow peeps, drinkin' a Sun Drop, and watching Dream Job. I find this show pretty interesting. Of course, I'm rooting for Maggie, cos she's hot. My 'net time has been really down lately. I'm not sure if it's an anomaly or if it's part of a long-term trend. We'll see.

Quick recap... After work yesterday, met K at AB's for lunch. Came home. Then went and washed my truck. Washed Dad's, too. He tried to pay me. He always tries to pay me for stuff. lol I just left. Ended up not going to Matt's because I was pressed for time. Sat home and watched the game. Bama lost pretty big. UConn was just playing incredible basketball, especially the first half. I'm proud we made the Elite 8, and got further than any other SEC team this year. Got a lot of people coming back next year. Something to look forward to.

Billiards went well again last night. It wasn't as incredible as Friday night, but it probably never will be. Overall, I was real consistent all three trips this week. Played around 25 games of 8-ball. I feel like maybe I've reached a slightly higher plateau. We'll see. It's all about practice, practice, practice. Went to Applebees, again. Sat with Beth and Davina. It's like Coyote Ugly up in there, without the dancing on the bar. Saw Michael and his wife up there. Derrick was up there again, too. Jessica was working. Tracy was home for spring break and was up there hanging out.

I also weighed last night. I was down to 180. I weighed 184 a few weeks ago. So that is good. I wouldn't mind staying right around there. And that was with clothes on. I'm sure it's a couple of pounds less naked, but I didn't feel comfortable taking my clothes off at Kyle's. What?

Today, after church, came home and fixed some lunch. Watched a little of the race. Slightly more exciting than normal, because it was at Bristol. Still, NASCAR tried to create excitement by red flagging the race with 6 to go, and running a two lap shootout to the finish, but it didn't work at all. Went running this afternoon. Some hotties rode by a in a red car and whistled at me. Man, if I had a dollar for everytime that happened.... I'd be able to afford one game of pool. What? ROFL That was cool though.

After church tonight, went to eat with Dad at the steak house. Had the pork chops. They were good. Came home, and Bobbie called. We chatted for about an hour. She was home for the weekend. Looks like she is planning on moving back here in a few months. Kyle called to tell me about a doggie poo sighting at Look Mom North tonight. lol Speaking of, I saw previews for the movie "Envy" that Bunny was telling me about last night. The whole movie is based on the invention of Vapoo-rizer, whose motto is, "One spray and doggie poo goes away." ROFL That is so relevant in our lives right now. Envy, starring Jack Black and Ben Stiller, coming April 4th to a theater near you. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, press one now. Using your touchtone keypad, enter the first three letters of the movie you want to see now. Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see?

Crap, they just cut Maggie. Those idiots!!! OK, I'm out. Gotta get some stuff together to file my taxes. I'm gonna give all my crap to Mom tomorrow and let her take it to her lady. I've always done the easy forms before, so this will be a first.

"Oooh, and how far we'll travel for a place to heal our hearts. We watched it unravel, so why is tonight the hardest part..."

Could be a little long; you've been warned...

Wow, I've only blogged once a day the past couple of days. That's odd. Yesterday was great. Great weather. Went into short-term hibernation for a couple of hours, then headed to town to shoot some pool. It was absolutely the best billiards I've ever played, by far. First of all, when I put the first dollar in, the machine jammed up, so Belle came over and just left the door open, so we got like five free games! I was seeing angles, playing position, making runs, and it continued thru all eleven games. Usually, I might have one or two games like that, if I'm lucky. Oh well, it comes and goes, and it'll probably be gone by next time. K was a little off. I think his mind was on Tammy or something. I just wish I could play like that all the time. It felt pretty good.

While walking up to The Brick, we were complaining about how Geigh Over-tanned Fabio-Hair Guy had tried charging us a cover charge last weekend, so we just left. So I was like, "Well I'm not even gonna get any tea tonight." Then as soon as we walk in, Belle walks by, puts her hand on my shoulder and is like, "You want sweet tea, sweetie?" And I'm like, "Uh... yeah." ROFL She talked me into it. One disturbing thing occurred while we were there. There was this cutie sitting there playing the little game they have on the counter at TB. She keeps smiling and stuff, so I'm smiling back. She's probably in her early to mid 20's. So out of nowhere, there is this 50 year old man with a gray beard and baseball cap who comes up and sits next to her and starts talking to her and playing the game with her and stuff. I keep thinking she'll get up and leave or walk somewhere else, but they sit there for like the next freakin' hour until we leave. What the crap?

K said J-Mo's parents have moved back in for awhile. lol That led to several funnies:

K: "I called Jon, but his parents wouldn't let him do anything."

J: "So, all these years he's been making fun of you for living at home, and really he's... just like you."
K: "Yeah, pretty much." lol

Headed to the Land O' Tasty Delights and Friendly Female Servers (the LOTDFFS) after that. I had the chicken quesadillas. They were good and hot. Sat with Donna. Davina, Jade, Jessica, and Beth all came by to chat. This guy Derrick was up there he starts asking K what there is to do for fun in Decatur. That led to some good funnies:

K: "Nothing. That's why I've been coming here for the past eight years. I get up, go to work, go to the gym, go to eat, come home, and go to sleep."
D: "Wow, talking to you makes me feel a lot better about my own life." ROFL

D: "So what do ya'll do for fun?"
J: "Well, sometimes around 11:00, Donna will dance on the bar." (Donna shoots Jeff the evil eye)

D: "Well I'm coming off a 5 year relationship."
J: (raising my hand) "Well, we've all been there. Four years here."
D: "It's like you're used to always having something to do, and then suddenly, it's gone."
J: "Exactly. And I'm like, what did I do before I met her? I can't remember."

"Maybe we should practice getting girls numbers, by getting guys numbers." ROFL What the freak? Oh man, that was the funniest thing I've heard in a long, long time.

Well, I have to get back to work, which is where I am today, by the way. Planning to wash the truck this afternoon, then head to Matt's to watch the Bama game on the gargantuan screen. It starts around 3:30. Have a great weekend!

"If it's true don't leave me all alone out here, wonderin' if you're ever gonna take me there. Tell me what you're feeling cos I need to know. Girl, you gotta let me know which way to go..."

Elite 8

Wow, I cannot believe it. Bama is in the Elite 8!! 80-71 over the defending national champs! Went over to Dave's last night to watch the game. They simply played about as well as they could play. 22 assists and 9 turnovers. That is outstanding. The offensive execution was the best I have ever seen from Alabama--crisp passing, quick decisions, got good shots, broke the press fairly well. They deserved to win that game. I thought we defended pretty well, too, especially in the second half. UConn is up next. They have really shown no weaknesses thusfar. But I think we'll give them a good game. We're a pretty good shooting team with nothing to lose, and as has been proven, that can be dangerous. We weren't even supposed to make it this far.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty busy. I went by Jessica's after work, then went to shoot pool with Kyle for about an hour. Rob and Julie Kelly were working, as usual. Man, I was really playing well yesterday, hitting all kinds of shots, and playing pretty good position. I wish I could play that well all the time. After that, I headed over to Dave's. We ordered pizza and watched the game. I ended up getting home a little after 1:00 :-\ So I'm on about 4 hours sleep today. Wheeee!!! Man, their house is super nice! All the rooms are really roomy and he has a sweet office up over the garage. They have two beautiful black labs. Awww, I wub the sweet widdle puppies. His wife got home about 10:00 or so, I think. She is really sweet. (I guess sweet is my word o' the day) They seem to have a great relationship, something similar to what I hope to have one day. I mean, remember we're partners, we're on the same team, and don't take out your frustrations from work and other parts of your day on your spouse. Anyway, I'm proud of, and happy for my friend. Now, where did I lay that noose? What?

No Friday Five today. They're gettin' lazy over there. Maybe I should make my own five questions. Tune in tomorrow when we'll ponder "Which was the better trapper: Trapper John MD or Trapper Keeper?"

"I hear your name in certain circles, and it always makes me smile. I spend my time, thinking about you, and it's almost driving me wild. And there's a heart that's breakin' down this long-distance line tonight. I ain't missin' you at all..."

Keep your feet on the ground...

...and keep reaching for the stars. It was always a little sad when Casey Kasem said that, because you knew American Top Forty was over for another week. "AT40 is heard every week on great radio stations like Kiss 102.7, KISS-FM, Los Angeles; The Duke, 104.7 FM, KDUK, in Eugene, Oregon; and on Fly 92.3, WFLY-FM, Albany, New York. And now we're up to this week's long distance request and dedication. It's from a man in Pennsylvania to the love he let slip away. Dear Casey..." ROFL

Looks like there will be some star gazing going on this week. Five planets viewable to the naked eye. Wow, that's like almost half the planets. Oh wait. What? Here's another story about that.

I went by to get Dad and me some dinner before church last night and we are sitting there eating, and Fox news is on, because he always watches that. Anyway, they're doing a story on the Kobe Bryant trial. Well, see, Dad isn't big on sports, so they say something about Bryant having a game last night for the Lakers, and this conversation ensues:

"You mean he's still playing basketball?"
"Yep, he's played the whole year."
"Well, that's ridiculous."
"Exactly."

Went by to see my sister for a bit. We watched the end of "Urban Cowboy." Wow, that's an old movie. I'm not sure if I've ever seen the whole thing. If I have, it was a long time ago. It was pretty good, though... Bud and Sissy, and Wes Hightower. lol

Random quote: "I don't have dandruff. That's my skin!"

And before we leave you today, it's time for one of our most popular features here on Bone's Blog, More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know: I took swimming lessons one time when I was little. They made us put our heads underwater. Water got up my nose and I started crying, and I never went back for another lesson. And that's More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know.

"...so Casey, could you please play Hello, by Lionel Richie, for Amanda? Steve, here's your long distance request and dedication..."

"Cos I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you? Tell me how to win your heart, for I haven't got a clue. But let me start by saying, I love you..."

Just-a Good Ol' Boys

Dukes Of Hazzard First Season Coming To DVD

Yeeeeeeehaw!!! (insert Dixie car horn audio here) I really did like that show. I guess one reason is because it was unique. Of course, once Coy and Vance replaced Bo and Luke, that was it. It was never the same. I used to have the little miniature hot wheels General Lee and Daisy's Jeep and Boss Hogg's convertible and the sheriff's patrol car. LOL Seriouslah. I guess that should've been a segment of More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know.

If you can't wait until June 1, check out Cooter's Museum.

"Once upon a time, once when you were mine. I remember skies, reflected in your eyes. I wonder where you are. I wonder if you think about me. Once upon a time, in your wildest dreams..."

Apply aloe liberally

As I sit here drinking a Capri-Sun upside-down (because I dropped it and a tiny hole appeared in the bottom), my face looks like the dry, cracked, sun-baked surface of a barren desert.

Bracketology... Well, 8 of my Sweet 16 picks made it... Alabama, Georgia Tech, St. Joe's, Duke, Oklahoma State, Pitt, UConn, and Xavier. Where do I go from here? Since two of my Final Four are gone (Kentucky and North Carolina), I think I will revise my Final Four picks. lol Is that allowed? So, in addition to UConn and Pitt, who I originally picked, I'll go with Duke and Kansas. And I like UConn to win it all now.

Today's morning funny comes from an unlikely source, Lil Booty in Virginia. She and Kyle have been emailing back and forth about the pics at the top of his blog, with her commenting that he has on the same shirt in several photos. And in describing what pictures she was talking about, she uncorked this little gem:

"At the top of your blog page, you have all of those pictures of random people with you that you are making look like are your friends." ROFL Oh man, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time, my friends. WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

"Girl, your leavin' woke me up. Got a handle on life, now I'm workin' on love. I've come a long way from the man you left. I don't run around. I don't lie to myself. If you care anymore, I don't love you any less. I'm just bringing you up to date on a fool's progress..."

Reeee-cuh-pit-u-la-shun time... come on!! Come on, let's recapitulate now...

My apologies to Kool and his gang...

I hate recapping event by event, but today was busy, so:
Picked Dad up from work. Went to have my new tires put on. Decided to test them out, so I stopped by DQ and got a chocolate dip cone, then drove down to the cemetery for a few minutes. After that, I did some visiting. Came home and went running. Took a shower. Went to the grocery store. Went to Jack's to pick up some dinner. Got home for the night around 8:30.

Something about the cemetery really clears my head. Does that make me weird? I dunno, it almost re-energizes me or something. Maybe it just reminds me of my roots, of what's really important, you know? It's not like I go there a lot, maybe a couple of times a year. There's something serene about it. And there always seems to be a breeze blowing when I'm there. I'm amazed at the speed of the passing of time.

I got a really good deal on my tires. It sure helps to know people, pretty much no matter what you're talking about. The last tires I bought were a little over $400, I think. These were less than half that. I basically got them at his cost. Talked to Jack tonight. He said the rest of the money for the Bama tickets is due by the end of April. I'm looking forward to having season tickets again.

The weather was wonderful today. I'm glad I got to spend a good bit of time outside. You know how certain songs make you think of certain things, people, or moments. Well, I heard this song today and it made me think of a good friend of mine... ROFL

"If you don't know me by now, you will never never never know me. Ooooooh..."

Fake Peterman meets Real Peterman?

The Continuing Saga Of J. Peterman...

For real. Six years PS (post-Sein). That's interesting. Snagged it off of Fake Peterman's site.

Hmph. Blog still isn't in the dictionary or the spell-checker. It has to be the most popular word that isn't included.

"I think I'm gonna be sad. I think it's today, yeah. The girl that's driving me mad, is going away. She's got a ticket to ride... and she don't care..."

Piercing, Potentially Pernicious Projectiles...

One thing I don't understand about the game of darts is the fact that most of these dart boards seem to be in bars. Does this seem dangerous to anyone else? I mean, we don't let drunk people drive. But we'll put them in a crowded room and let them throw around these skin-piercing, steel-tipped projectiles. I mean, I've seen sober people miss the entire board. I can only imagine how difficult it could be if you're drunk. Actually, I'm really amazed that there aren't more darting accidents. What happened to your eye? Oh, it was taken out by a drunk darter. Maybe we should have dart patrol. "I'm sorry, sir, but it appears you've had a few too many. You just bulls-eyed the fat lady in the rainbow-colored dress. I'm afraid I'm gonna have to confiscate your tips and your flights." What?

"But for right now they're both in love. The only thing they're thinkinn' of, is that they're finally where their hearts have always been..."

"I can't believe she left without saying goodbye."

That was a line K used the other night, to which I remarked, "That sounds like a song."

Good ol' Alabama weather... got blistered Saturday sitting out in the sun. This morning was cold and windy, I should've wore my boggan. That would be funny, wearing a boggan with a sunburn. I like it though. It's an adventure.

Ordered pizza for lunch today, from Dominos. I think the worst part of being a pizza delivery person would be that your car would smell like pizza all the time. That's really not conducive to a romantic mood on a date.

Spin cycle... did laundry today, a day early. I think I'm going to get tires put on my truck tomorrow after work. Talked to Shane about coming up to Belmont for the celebrity basketball game and concert tonight, but I opted to stay here. Too many hot chicks up there anyway. What? No, seriously, I figured I'd be getting in at 12:30 at earliest, probably later, and just didn't wanna put myself thru another night of 4 hours sleep.

Daily funny flashback:
K: "Run! There's girls everywhere!" ROFL

"The feeling's gone. There's nothing left to lift me up, back into the world I've known. Cos now again I've found myself, so far down, away from the sun, that shines into the darkest place. I'm so far down, away from the sun again..."

National Goof-Off Day

Today is National Goof-Off Day... 39% of guys ages 18-34 like to play video games to goof off, just beating out the 36% who said surfing the internet. That's a little scary... I guess.

Ate dinner at Logan's last night with some people from church... Michelle, Amelia, and her mom. It was decent. I love their house salad. Overall though, the menu is a bit limited and their steaks aren't really that great, considering that's supposed to be their specialty.

The end of an era? Could be. I stopped on my way home last night and aired up my left rear tire for what could be the final time. Looks like I'll be breakin' down and getting new tires this week. It was sad, as I sat there with air hose in hand, inflating the tire with much-needed air, I was thinking... "Dead, dead dead, some day we'll all be dead." What?

Watched basketball yesterday. UAB beat Kentucky. Yes!! Man, I had only seen UAB once this year, part of their game against DePaul. They are really an exciting team to watch. Watched a small bit of the NASCAR race yesterday. About 5 or 6 years ago, I would rarely miss a race. But lately, it's become a lot less interesting to me for some reason. Maybe it's all the rules changes. There's also almost always some controversy where NASCAR appears to be favoring one driver or something. I dunno, the races have just generally been unexciting. I think another part of it is that there's more parity now. To me, that's less interesting. I always thought professional sports were better with a few dominant teams or players, and those remaining pretty consistent from year-to-year. Maybe it's just me. I mean, to me, the NFL was better when Dallas and the 49ers were playing most every year for the NFC championship. Now, any Tom, Dick, and Harry can win with a couple of great players and a good coach. I think baseball is better with the Yankees being rather dominant over the past ten years. It's better to me when fans have that one person or team they love to hate, or at least when there's a big rivalry.. Lakers/Celtics, Cowboys/49ers, Ali/Frazier, Gordon/Earnhardt, etc.

Oftentimes I get people trying to chat with me, and I just love to mess with them. I had to share this one:

Her: hi studd
Me: hey
Her: i like your picture on your homepage
Me: thanks
Her: 25/f/alabama
Me: 12/m
Her: You're twelve?
Me: yes, that is my brother's picture. do you wanna meet
Her: hmmm your brother doesnt look to be twelve
Me: no, he is older than me
Me: iM gOnNa Be At ThE mAlL tOnIgHt

Later...
Me: how do I know you're 25?
Her: ask me a question and I'll prove it
Me: what's your favorite brand of jeans?
Her: L.E.I.
Me: LEI is wrong!

ROFL... WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"After all this time, I still miss you every day. The same world spins 'round. I guess some things never change. Sometimes I go out, but it never feels the same. I still look for you. Baby, some things never change..."

In the news...

It's time for your favorite Monday morning feature here on Bone's blog...

New cell phone software makes it easier to get off the phone

See, this is the kind of thing I should be coming up with, instead of spending my time writing this pointless blog drivel day after day.

4th grade teachers gone wild?

Well, if I had a dime for everytime my friends asked me to pull up my shirt.... oh wait.

Family finds it is always good to frequently check your batteries

Nice. And finally...

This is just gross...

Yuck.

"Oh, it should be illegal. It gets me so high. I can fly like an eagle, night after night..."

I love cheese!!!!

That's just my completely random thought for the day...

Hello fellow blogophiles. I've been resting today. After church, came home and have just been flipping back and forth between the race and the NCAA's. Bama won yesterday! Wow! How about that. Beat the #1 team in the nation, babee! We were up at Buffalo Billiards in Nashville watching the end of the game. I couldn't believe it. Everyone there was pulling for Bama. It was cool. I thought we really defended well, hit our free throws, and just stayed in the game until our shots started falling. Got outrebounded badly. Granted, we don't have a lot of size, but we've got to close the rebounding margin. Next up: Defending national champion Syracuse. It's just exciting to be one of the final sixteen teams playing.

In other news, as I said, we headed up to Nashville last night. I was getting really frustrated so we only played five games, I think. Stopped by Old Navy and bought some shorts and a few shirts. They're having a big 10th anniversary sale in a couple of weeks. Ate at Famous Dave's Barbecue. First time I had ever eaten there. I had the rib tips. It was very good food, and great prices. I'll definitely plan on going back. Had to stop by Shane and Mel's for a minute. They weren't home, but I did get to see some doggie poo. I don't know why I find that so entertaining. Oh wait. Heard from Lil Booty last night. Looks like she and Cassie might be up for a NY trip this spring or fall. Boo-yah! (from the Stuart Scott archives)

Random observation o' the day:
I've noticed an increasing number of vehicles recently that have hot chicks driving, while a guy is in the passenger seat. What is the deal with that? I mean, I'm all for swapping up and stuff if you've been dating a while. But it just seems like a large number of girls have to haul their boyfriends around now. I dunno.

"No more timing, each tear that falls from my eyes. I'm not hiding, the remedy to cure this old heart of mine. I can dream about you, if I can't hold you tonight..."

Are you a hunt-and-pecker?

Take this test and see.

I'm not gonna tell you what I made the first time I took it. LOL But the second and third times I took it at work and got 69 and 75 wpm. Then I took it at home yesterday and again got 75. So that must be about where I am. I remember in high school typing, I was at about 25-30 wpm at the end. That's the only class I ever had. Funny how working with computers every day improves your typing, and you don't even realize it.

"Don't tell me how to be, cos I like some suffering. Don't ask me what I need. I'm just fine here, finding me..."

First Day of Spring?

Feels more like the first day of Summer to me. Originally, the high today was supposed to be 75. It has to be at least 80-85 out there today. I worked this morning. My face and arms got cooked. Went over to cut the grass for Dad a little while ago. Something about the nice weather just energizes me.

Last night, shot a little pool, ate at Applebees. It was like deja vu, because it seemed like I had done that exact same thing at least once before in my life. What? Many of our favorites were working... Holly, Jade, Donna, Charity, Tonya, and Davina, who now has a new nickname ("Hot Davina") thanks to me :-P

H: "Ya'll are like two kids. That's stuff that kids order."
K: "Yeah. So?"
H: "When are ya'll gonna turn into men?"
K and J look at each other confusedly.
J: "Oh, don't hold your breath." lol

Went to the mall for a bit. Ran into Misty and her husband. I can't remember his name right now. Bought a short-sleeved shirt. Kyle's "woman" wasn't working. I really think she got fired. Went by Clearwave after we ate, and I was about to fall asleep on the couch there. Got home about midnight, I think. Thinking of going up to Nashville today. I dunno. We'll see.

Thinking about going to Nashville today. I dunno. We'll see. I gotta get cleaned up.

Oh! Big news! No, not another meat and milk factory. But I saw a guy who runs a local tire store here this morning at the thing, and he looked at my truck and said he would sell me a set of tires at his cost. So looks like the fun days of airing up the left rear tire every three days could be nearing an end. He's supposed to call me sometime next week. It was good while it lasted... or not. I'll have to look back at my blog and see when the first time was I went and aired up my tire. Little things like that just make life a little more interesting.

Wow, my bracket is gettin' busted up pretty good. Florida's gone. I had them in the Final 8. Gonzaga is down 8 in the second half. I have them in the final 8, too. Bama plays #1 Stanford around 4:30 I think. That'll be a tough game.

"Sitting with your friends as ya'll reminisce about the days growin' up and the first person you kissed. And as I think back, makes me wonder how the smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia..."

Le Friday 5

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?

Pakistani. lol Just kidding. Probably cajun or seafood. Like real, fresh seafood. So it would have to be near the coast, because that transported, refrigerated, preserved crap you buy here isn't the same. Just so you know... lol

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?

Domestic items... Lazy Susans and such. What? No, really, I would like to have a bookstore, maybe a billiards store, or a general sporting goods store.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?

Just general fiction, and it would no doubt be influenced way too much by my favorite writer, Hemingway. Or maybe a culinary book, although "Everybody Loves Ramen" is already taken.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?

Branch Davidian History. What? I don't know. Probably some type of computer course. Either that, or psychology.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?

Sounds of the forest. No, um, just mainstream Hot AC-type stuff, I guess. Or a remake album of all my favorite 80's hits.

"However far away, I will always love you. However long I stay, I will always love you. Whatever words I say, I will always love you. I will always love you..."

It's Gonna Be A Bright, Sunshiny Day

It's beautiful outside here. I hope to get out and enjoy it a bit, either go for a run or go over to Dad's and cut the grass... or both. Went to the visitation last night. I had never been to a child's funeral or visitation before. I can't imagine having to stand there and look at the body of my child for two or three hours. I can't imagine how painful that must be. Anyway, I saw and talked to Bobbie, her sister, and her mother. It was really good to see her mother again. She said, "It's good to see you. I just wish it was under different circumstances." :-( Exactly. You try to console people, but really, in those situations, there's not a lot you can say. I think your presence probably says more than anything, just knowing there is someone else that cares. Anyway, I probably stayed less than ten minutes. Signed the guestbook and left.

Headed to Applebees after that to get some food. Sat with Donna. Holly, Devin, and Beth were working. I think maybe I need to dress up more often. I thought Shirley was going to have a seizure seeing me in a shirt and tie. Holly was the only one who didn't act surprised. Hmm. After that, we went to shoot a few games of pool. I played pretty well, except for the times I was trying to play while talking on the cell phone. LOL The place was dead, although there was a VERY GOOD female singer singing and playing guitar up there. Beth and Chad came in right before we got ready to leave. That's about it. I guess it's time to check out the Friday Five.

"Fifteen, there's still time for you. Time to buy and time to lose. Fifteen, there's never a wish better than this, when you only got 100 years to live..."

Spring Insanity (aka March Madness)

Well, I filled out my brackets last night, rather hurriedly. I wound up with Kentucky, Gonzaga, Florida, Pitt, North Carolina, Duke, UConn, and Maryland in the Elite 8. Kentucky, UNC, Pitt, and UConn in the Final 4, and Kentucky beating UNC in the championship game. Not completely satisfied with those for some reason, but I ran out of time, so I'll go with it.

I look for some early round upsets by at least a couple of these teams:
UI-Chicago
Lafayette
Pacific
Utah
W. Michigan
VCU

So, let the insanity begin! I'm sure my Final 4 will be at least half gone by Sunday. LOL Either way, the first two days, really four days, of the NCAA's are the best.

"I've been sitting here so long, wasting time, just staring at the phone. And I was wondering should I call you. Then I thought, maybe youíre not alone. Please give me one more night..."

I Am So Sorry

Bobbie's 4-year-old nephew died yesterday. I haven't talked to her yet. Amber called me at work yesterday to tell me, then I saw Amanda online last night, and she confirmed it. Very sad :-(

I don't know what to say. I know and love that family and I know they are hurting and in shock. I will just pray for everyone affected. Everything is kind of somber. Blogging doesn't seem very important right now.

More bad news: Tiffany just IM'd me and said her grandpa had a heart attack and is in ICU.

My thoughts are prayers are with you all.

"For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

Big news! (amended)

I hope you're sitting down for this one! Click here!

Congratulations, guys! Two of my very good friends.

Add: I had to add this in. Kyle calls this morning and this conversation ensues:
K: "Dude, where did you get that story on your blog?"
J: "Shane emailed it out this morning."
K: "Oh. Well, that's bizarre."
J: "Yeah."

(a few minutes later, another call)
K: "I just talked to Shane. Melody's pregnant."
J: "Uh yeah, I know. We talked about that already."
K: "Oh, I had no idea that's what that story meant."
J: "Well, what did you think it meant?"
K: "I don't know. I thought they were opening some sort of meat and milk factory. I didn't understand it." WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"All I can say is that my life is pretty plain. I like watching the puddles gather rain. And I don't understand why I sleep all day, and I start to complain that there's no rain..."

I can't blog on command...

I'm not a robot, people. What? I know, you've checked all day for an update, but there was none. Sorry. Today was biz-E! Felt like I had a sign on my back that read, "I'm not doing anything. Give me something to do." I think tomorrow I may look flustered or perturbed all day so people will think I'm busy and leave me alone. lol

Had to pick Dad up from work. He is working a few hours now, but can't drive. Went to Decatur. Stopped by Jessica's. Then met Kyle at Applebee's. Stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home to stock up on Sun Drops. Picked up a few other things, including some yellow peeps. Mmmmm. Marshmallow and sugar. That's pure goodness right thur. Did laundry betwixt and between all that.

One good thing did happen tonight. None of the regulars were working at Applebees, so we sat with Charity. I chanced it and ordered lemonade. Risky, yes. But the check came, and bingo! No bev charge. That's good, too, because she was like down to her third strike. lol Someone must have informed her of the proper procedure. So she is officially added to the rotation. To show my thanks, I tipped $3 on a $5.44 check.

I've been hearing some pretty disturbing stuff lately, leading to this exchange:
K: "Man, we're all going to jail. Well, he is anyway."
J: "Yeah. You and I will probably just pay a small fine." ROFL

"I'm on a ride and I want to get off, but they won't slow down the roundabout. I sold the Renoir and the TV set. Don't wanna be around when this gets out. So why don't you use it. Try not to bruise it. Buy time, don't lose it..."

Recycled forwarded email #18

Subject: The secret to making a marriage last:

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, pleasant conversation, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds... in separate cities.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time," she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. One day she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?". I said, "Dust."

Why do most men die before their wives? Cos they want to.

"Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain. Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever... is to blame..."

Sein, sleep, and scooters...

"The Soup Nazi" is on right now. I think that might be my all-time favorie episode. "The Parking Garage" and "The Soup Nazi" on back-to-back. Those are two of the best ever! "There's elevators all over. Everything looks the same. We're like rats in some experiment." Uromysitisis. ROFL "You know I've been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place." WOOOOOOOO!!!!

Napped today from about 4:30 until 7. I needed it. A total of 9.5 hours of sleep the past two nights was catching up with me. I was a veritable zombie at work. Traffic was killer today, too. Where was everyone going? It was like Friday traffic on a Monday. I did watch some old billiards action on ESPN today. Jeanette and Allison in the '03 Tournament of Champions final. Jeanette won in sudden death. Watched a bit of the Dream Job Casting Special on ESPN tonight, too. I was thinking today that I don't really blog much about many of my interests. I mean, Seinfeld, yeah. And billiards some. I am going to try to branch out and post thoughts on a wider range of topics, instead of always just the day-to-day minutiae.

Received another mail-out from The Scooter Store today. Ask about our free mobility consulation? What the crap? I mean, don't get me wrong, it'd be cool to have a rascal if you couldn't get around. But using one when you're healthy is just wrong.

Just remembered another Bunny funny:
"I finally got my computer and scanner and everything hooked up today. Of course, I know that'd be the first thing ya'll would do."
"Uh yeah. Heat? Pffft. Water? Pfffft. Just as long as the computer is hooked up with internet access."
"Well, I still haven't gotten my internet hooked up."
"That's cooky-talk right there."

Popped in the Mad Season CD yesterday. So, I've been listening to that the past couple of days.

"I need you now. Do you think you can cope? You figured me out, that I'm lost and I'm hopeless. I'm bleeding and broken, though I've never spoken. I come undone, in this mad season..."

In the news...

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States... Oops! That's good stuff right there. I'm sure Leno, Stewart, and the Letter-man will have big fun with that one. Verbal gaffe #1264. LOL Eh, Fathi is probably like Jessie or Shannon over there. Can be either a man's or a woman's name. What?

Plane lands on moving pickup truck Didn't they do that on the A-Team one time?

US gas prices reach all-time high Yeah. Ugh :-(

"This will all fall down, like everything else that was. This too shall pass. And all of the words we said, we can't take back..."

The Ides of March...

Back in senior year of high school, several of us guys set a deadline to have our prom dates decided by the Ides of March. So, I always remember that on this day. I can't remember if I made it or not, but I was close. "We had a pact!!!" LOL

Felt like an Arby's night last night. (Again, if you don't watch Seinfeld, you just missed the humor in that simple statement.) After church, I brought Dad home, then headed into town. (That makes it sound like I live out on the Ponderosa, and Hoss and I had to saddle up Snoopy and Prickly Pete and ride into town or something.) I went by and got me and Jessica something to eat, then took it over to her place. We went to Wal-Mart later. Sadly, that is one of the more exciting things to do in this area on Sunday nights. They have a kitten now, and it is soooo cute!!

Talked to Bunny yesterday. She has just started softball. Man, I wish I could find a team to play with this year. We shared quite a few laughs about various subjects.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe throwing rackets is allowed in the tennis league."

"Then just as I was about to take a picture of it, Melody's arm swoops in with a paper towel and gets it. I was like, What are you doing?!?!!?"

Overall, a good weekend. I was gone a lot. I must say, this entire year has really been going well. I've worked a lot on my attitude.

Other randomness:

Seinfeld wound up #1 in the "101 Reasons The 90's Ruled" countdown on E! We are the Seinfeld generation, my friends.

Am I the only one who wants to laugh everytime the news people say "Vladimir Putin"?

On this date in 1892, the first escalator was patented. Remember how bad you wanted to ride those when you were a kid? Well, OK, I still like them. But it was like, in the mall, everytime we'd pass one, it didn't matter where we were trying to get to, I'd be like, "Mom! Let's ride the escalator." And was I the only one who'd try to go up the down escalator? OK, so I probably was. The great thing about escalators is even if they break down, you've still got stairs ;-)

OK, I'm gonna play some Scrabble, I mean, get back to work.

"You're thinking up your white lies. You're putting on your bedroom eyes. You say you're coming home but you won't say when. But I can feel it coming. If you leave tonight keep running. And you need never look back again..."

This is kinda cool...

If and when you tire of my blog, you can try this.
I don't think you can play two players. But it's somewhat addictive nonetheless. Of course, nothing beats going to Mardi Gras and sitting in the hotel room one night and playing Scrabble. Oh wait.

"What I had for you was true. Things go wrong, they always do. She drives me crazy, like no one else. She drives me crazy, and I can't help myself..."

Day #11354

Hello blog groupies... My blogging frequency on the weekends always seems to drop. Just always seem to be going on the weekends. I did end up going to meet Amy last night. Got out of work about 6:30 and got there around 7:15. It wasn't too bad. I think there ended up being 14 or 15 people there. Got home around 1:00. Fell asleep about 2:30. Went to church this morning, and I've been sitting here watching the race off and on this afternoon.

I have noticed thehe little ads at the top of the blog here are finally starting matching some of my interests. "Jerry Seinfeld Tickets", "Billiards", and "Foto-log" have all popped up there. Also under related searches, "lonely", "blues lyrics", "honesty", and "cold" have all popped up. I don't know what the crap that's supposed to mean. Next thing you know, they'll start putting things like "suicide" and "Koresh" up there. Stupid google. What? LOL

It's time now for our second installment of More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know...

When I was younger, my sister and I would go out in the backyard and play some sort of bizarre, redneck, one-on-one field hockey, with wiffle ball bats and a tennis ball. Some of the games got pretty intense, and half the time she would end up crying. LOL And that's been today's edition of More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know.

"There must have been a reason, but I can't remember now. If only I could hold you, we could work it out. You're sewn into the fabric, the pieces of my life. And I just can't remember why we said goodbye..."

Everybody Loves Ramen

That was one of the names of books I was looking at last night at BAM. Kyle was waiting to talk to some guy he knows who works there, so I was browsing the culinary section. Why do so many of those books have corny titles? Here are some others I can remember:

"Biker Billy's Hog-Wild-On-A-Harley Cookbook"
"Macho Nachos"
"Easy Bake Over Gourmet" (ding!)
And last but not least, "Intercourses" (I have no idea what that's about).

Anyway, recapping the past 24 hours or so: I went running yesterday. Showered and headed into town. Went to shoot some pool. Wow, I started off playing about as bad as I can ever remember playing. Got it going for the last two or three games though, and ended up winning 5 of 6. I have a lot to work on. Talked to Matt last night, trying to encourage him to go ahead and get a good, regulation table. LOL If he does, I'm sure I'll be over there all the time working on my game. After that, we ran by the mall. K wanted to see if Jen was working. It was a futile trip, as she wasn't there.

"Wow, you got her name already? I'm impressed."
"Well I assume that's her name. That's what's on her name tag." ROFL

Went to the bookstore after that. Was formally introduced to Elizabeth, a girl Kyle knows. She said I looked familiar. But we couldn't decide if/when we would've seen each other before.

"I worked at the mall, but that was a long time ago."
"Well, I've been around a long time."

Looked at a Billiards Digest for a bit, then noticed this absolutely gorgeous girl alone at the other end of the magazines, near the music section. So naturally, I walked over there and pretended to look at some music mags to try and get a conversation started. Anyway, can't go into great detail here. This is already getting long.

Stopped back by Applebees for some dinner. Jessica was coming out as I was coming in, and greeted me with a nice FSH. Holly, Jade, and Davina were there. Sat with Donna. She was cracking one-liners all night long. But again, this is a family blog. I had the appetizer sampler. Before I could order, Davina yelled out "Sub nachos for spin dip." I was like, "That is exactly why I love this place. My girls know just what I like." LOL The Alabama/Florida game was on, so I ended up watching the whole thing. It was exciting and went into overtime. By the end of the game, almost everyone in there was watching it. Unfortunately, Bama lost on a last second shot.

Random humorous (or disturbing) quote of the day:
"35-14 is a football score. It's not the ages of two people that should be dating."

K, well that's about it. I got nearly ten hours of sleep last night. Went to bed a little after 1:00 and woke up around 11. That was much, much needed. Sitting here at work now, until 6. Trying to decide whether or not to meet Amy at 7 for their little weekly get-together thing. I'll probably go. It'll be something different, at least.

"Now I'm lookin' at a flashback Sunday. Zoom lens feeling just won't disappear. Close-up, darkroom sweet talk in my ear. Her hotspot love for me is strong. This freeze-frame moment can't be wrong..."

Seinfeld-related news...

Larry David named 4th funniest American by EW

I like that top four. They're all funny. The only small gripe I have is that Rock is a little gimmicky, with that high voice. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I would've put him maybe behind the other three, because of that. As for the rest of the top ten, I don't think Ellen or Jack Black have ever made me laugh, ever, never.

How Kenny Kramer made his fortune

Nice little article on the 'real' Kramer.

Don't like Seinfeld? Well, maybe you should. According to a recent study by the Blogging Oversight, Review, and Enrichment Department (aka BORED), my blog is 37% funnier if you're an avid Seinfeld fan, due to all the little references to episodes that only a true Sein fan would get ;-)

"All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray. I've been for a walk, on a winter's day, yeah. I'd be safe and warm, if I was in LA. California dreamin', on such a winter's day..."

Not My Favorite Friday Five

Wow, this whole thing has made me realize that my memory is really not good...

1. What was the last song you heard?

Um, before I got to work? I honestly don't remember. One of the shows was talking about Larry David and "Curb Your Enthusiasm," so naturally, I was mostly listening to that. Actually, that last song I heard last night was "I Want To Hold Your Hand" on Letterman. They showed the tape of the Beatles original appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, and that's what they were singing. I think actually it was a Letterman rerun, too. But, it was neat, nonetheless. I went to bed after that. Am I saying "actually" too much? Actually, yes.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?

In the theater? "Elf" and "American Wedding." LOL I go to the movies maybe once or twice a year.
On TV, the last two were "Rush Hour" and "One Fine Day."

3. What were the last three things you purchased?

Groceries (counting that as one purchase)
Car wash
A 20 ounce Mountain Dew

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?

Do my taxes
Exercise
Catch up on sleep
Clean up the apartment (vacuum and dust and file some things away)

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?

(This question reminds me of Phone Log Phun. LOL) That would be the last five people who called work this morning. I don't know their names. Otherwise (do IM's count?), it would be:
Kim
Laura (a hottie at the grocery store)
Kyle
Mom
Jessica

"Here's a toast, to all those who hear me all too well. Here's to the nights we felt alive. Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry. Here's to goodye. Tomorrow's gonna come too soon..."

Basketball, bank tellers, and Bobby McFerrin?

Blogging away while somebody somewhere is wondering why annul and disannul mean the same thing...

I always like the first two days of the SEC basketball tournament. Four games both days. Start at Noon and go until 10 or 11 at night. It's kinda neat. Auburn got creamed today. That's always good, no matter the sport ;-) Hmm, just seeing an ad for a new movie with Jim Carrey and Kirsten Dunst. That appeals to me for some reason.

Worked over today, cos I have to leave an hour early tomorrow to take Dad to the doctor. Not a whole lot else going on. I may try to run by the car wash and grocery store later. Might try to work in a little pool. A wild night, no doubt. lol Got paid. Went by the bank. The hot teller wasn't working, as far as I could tell :-\ Oh well. I was thinking as I was signing my check today, you can pretty much scribble any sort of mess you want on the back there, and they won't say anything. What if tellers were like your second grade teacher, and they wouldn't accept your check if it was messy?

Got invited to what sounds like a weekly card game Saturday night. According to the girl who invited me, they usually have between 5 and 12 people (her numbers, not mine). Plus, she said there'd be chicks there. So, you know. I mean, when a guy is invited to do something, his first question is most often, "Will there be any girls there?" Doesn't really matter what the activity is, either. "Protest march around a toxic landfill? Gee, I don't know. Will there be any girls there? Well, ok then. Sounds like fun. Count me in."

And today, March 11, in honor of Bobby McFerrin's 54th birthday, we close with this inspiring lyric...

"Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style. Ain't got not girl to make you smile. But don't worry, be happy. Cos when you worry your face will frown. And that will bring everybody down. So don't worry, be happy..."

Ameliorated Material

Here's some old material I reworked...

Dating someone is a lot like getting a new car. Everything is great for the first few months. Then little problems start to pop up. Usually nothing major, but just enough to annoy you. Then, after a couple of years, you start noticing other cars, wishing you had something newer, faster, a little more sleek. So inevitably, you must decide whether to trade or stick with the old car for the long haul. There's lots to be said for the old car. You're familiar with it. You're used to driving it. Plus, you've got a lot invested in it already. Of course, I usually end up trading, then regretting it later. Either that, or the old car breaks down and leaves me stranded on the side of the road. Oh well, it's just a car. What?

"You're a Sunday school teacher, got the PTA. Got a real good life. You're a real good wife. I'm livin' in this circus world. No, I ain't married but I got a girl. And I'm her man. We're makin' plans. But I still smile when I think of us. Together we learned how to love..."

More Dry?

I just noticed for the first time ever last night that the dryer has a "More Dry" setting. What the crap? It's located to the left of the "0" on the timer. So I'm thinking... once something is dry, it's dry. You can't dry it anymore. If it's not dry, you just set the timer back to 15 or 20 minutes or whatever until it is dry, right? So I'm not sure why GE decided to put a "more dry" setting on there. Probably just to perplex people like me.

And now it's time for a new feature here on Bone's Blog, More About Bone Than You Wanted To Know...

When I was in high school, I had a crush on this girl named Shelly. So us guys would get together and go camping from time to time, and we'd always end up singing or something. And I'd sing the Four Seasons song "Sherry", in full falsetto, except I'd say Shelly, instead of Sherry. It was kinda funny, kinda pathetic, and after a few hours, I'm sure it kinda got on my friends' nerves. And THAT is more about Bone than you wanted to know...

"When you said time was all you really needed, I walked away and let you have your space. Cos leavin' didn't hurt me near as badly, as the tears I saw rollin' down your face..."

That's gold, Jerry!! Gold!!

Man, there have been so many funny exchanges the past couple of days, it's been like a non-stop Abbott & Costello routine. Here's a sampling, beginning with a conversation about work with Jess:

"I have to work a 16 tonight and tomorrow night."
"What is that?"
"16 hour shifts."
"Oh man, that is cooky-talk right there. I'd be downing Mountain Dews and popping No-Doz like they were tic-tacs."

"People's personal gastrointestinal problems are nobody's business but their own, and should not be discussed in a blog or any other public forum."

"To his credit though, she's not anything to write home about, BUT, she IS female."
"Well female is a good quality. It is almost always the first thing i look for."
"It should be THE first."
"That's what I meant." ROFL

"I think it's time for him to renew his membership. They should waive the fee after that display."
"Oh don't worry. I think he's got the lifetime membership."
"That's good stuff. That belongs in a blog somewhere." WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

That's gold, Jerry! Gold!!

In other news, ordered pizza last night and went to eat with Dad. He won't be able to drive for two or three weeks, at least. Had a meeting today with someone from the state department of agriculture. It's someone I've spoken with on the phone hundreds of times, but it was neat to finally meet her. Ran by Dillards on my way home today. I'd noticed Kyle talking about the 75% off sale in his blog. They still had lots of good stuff. Got a Nautica shirt, a Tommy shirt, and a couple of other shirts for $55. I usually visit D's 3 times a year: summer clearance, winter clearance, and for Christmas shopping.

I kinda want to get tix to the Prince concert. Anyone interested? Anyone....? LOL

"Maybe you're just like my mother. She's never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like, when doves cry..."

In the news...

I hate when you're chatting online with a girl and all of a sudden she says, "Gotta go, my boyfriend's here." What the crap?

Today is March 10. It was on this date in 1876, Alexander Graham Bell sent the first telephone message to his assistant, saying "Mister Watson, come here. I want you." The second message was reportedly, "Uh yeah, I want one large pepperoni pizza, with extra cheese. That's Bell... B-E-L-L. My number? Well, uh, I don't really have a number yet. One, I guess."

In other news...

Can you break a million?

Yikes, she has a few manly features. That story reminds me of the time on Seinfeld when George needs to break a hundred, so he goes to buy a pack of gum at a news stand and the guy says he'll have to buy more than that, so Kramer throws in a Clark bar and a Penthouse forum. ROFL

When subtle hints don't do the trick

"It's 3 am and I must be lonely. Yeah when she says baby, well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes. But the rain's gonna wash away, I believe it..."

Today is _________?

Why do people put the day of the week in the title of their blog entry? It's not as if someone reading has been in a cave for six weeks, just crawled out, got online and surfed to this blog to find out what day it is. LOL Besides, the majority of blogs have a dateline and/or a time stamp. I'm sure I've done it in the past, too. But no longer! I am beginning a stand against it. Right now. A blogger's revolution. Let's strive to be more creative! Except of course for the Friday Five, which is the name of the survey.

On Tuesday, I am reminded of this:
Kramer: What's today?
Newman: It's Thursday.
Kramer: Really? Feels like Tuesday.
Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel. Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel.
Kramer: I feel Tuesday and Wednesday.

Did a little more research today... Looks like the local tennis league has already begun. I'm not sure, but I think there's a later session, either in the summer or fall. Gotta check on fees and such. It'd be nice to be able to do both tennis and pool. Actually, I'll be satisfied if I get signed up for one or the other.

Took about a 15-20 minute nap at work today. That really seemed to make a difference.

Watched the Saved By The Bell special last night. Man, I used to watch that show, back when it came on four times a day in syndication. They were saying Lark Voorhies quit some soap opera because they wanted her to do a scene which went against her religious beliefs. Not knowing what her beliefs are, that sounds kinda cool on the surface. Shows character.

E! was also counting down "101 Reasons The 90s Ruled" last night. I was waiting for Seinfeld. Surely it's in the top five. Wow, this is really a boring entry.

K called to tell me he tried calling Erin, his long-ago ex, last night, but she didn't answer. Then later, there was this:

K: "I tried calling LB, but she didn't answer."
J: "Much like every other girl on the face of the planet."
K: "I'm starting to see a pattern here." ROFL

"I think I've already lost you. I think you're already gone. I think I'm finally scared now. You think I'm weak. I think you're wrong..."

Are you lonely?

Meet-An-Inmate.com

I wish I was makin' this up. If you spend a lot of time at russianbrides.com (you know who you are... LOL), why not meet a good American girl? Well, maybe "good" is not the right word. Well, I guess I'll be busy for a couple of hours. What?

Think of the advantages, as ennumerated by one George Louis Costanza: I know where she is all the time. I have relatively no competition. And you know how you live in fear of the pop-in? No pop-in. No "I was in the neighborhood." No "I saw your light was on."

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

"Girls! All I really want is girls. And in the morning it's girls. Cos in the evening it's girls. I like the way that they walk. And it's chill to hear them talk. And I can always make them smile, from White Castle to the Nile..."

When I wake up in the morning, and the alarm lets out a warning...

...I don't think I'll ever make it on time.

Yes, SBTB fans, E! is airing "Saved By The Bell: True Hollywood Story" here in about 20 mins. Woohoo!!! Zack, Kelly, Jessie, Lisa, AC, Screech, Mister Belding. Giddy-up!! (Try not to get to excited, Bone.)

"Like indecision to call you and hear your voice of treason. Will you come home and stop this pain tonight, stop this pain tonight? Don't waste your time on me. You're already the voice inside my head. I miss you..."

A nice restful day at.... work?

Being at work for eight hours today was a break, compared to the past few days. It's kinda like when I was in high school and had to work after school. I actually began enjoying school more because it was better than work. LOL The lesser of two evils, I guess.

Well, let's see... I did a little research today on the APA (American Poolplayers Association), which is the organization which sponsors the amateur pool leagues, thus the new links on the right there. There is a local league. Looks like I may have a tough time finding four other people who want to commit to a team though, so I may check with the head of the league to see if any teams need an extra player. I guess I need to decide what I want to do, because there's no way I can enter an APA league and a tennis league.

Talked to Matt last night. He is supposed to close on his house at the end of this month. He was asking me about pool tables, so I tried to tell him what to look for. He was also asking how much space he'd need. I think he may end up putting it out in the garage if there isn't enough room for one in the extra bedroom. He'll have a nice set-up, with that gargantuan TV and a pool table.

It's been beautiful here the past three days, so I'm gonna get out and enjoy it a bit, and go for a run.

Haven't done any funny snippets in awhile, so here:
(on the phone)
Me: "Hey, what's up?"
K: "Oh man, just checkin' out this hot milf at the post office. She's driving a red (unintelligible), but I couldn't get the license tag."
Me: "Oh man, that's stalkeriffic."

(chatting online... Donna pops on)
K: "There's your ex-fiance. You'd better run." ROFL

"Take your cat and leave my sweater, cos we have nothing left to weather. In fact, I'll feel a whole lot better, but you'll think of me. You'll think of me..."

Sundry Ponderings from the Innards of a Hospital Waiting Room

I spent about 21 hours at the hospital over the 3-day span from Thursday to Saturday. Doing that, you have lots of time to think. Here are some of my thoughts:

I thought about Dad. I remembered him taking me fishing when I was younger, playing football in the backyard, letting me sit in his lap and pretend I was driving the car, etc. It's so important to spend time, to make time, for your children. Those are the little things they'll remember.

I thought about the passing of time. I'm getting older. My parents are getting older. I have close friends who have already lost one or both parents. When you see that, you realize it's so important to spend time with those you love. People are gone before you know it. Spend time with them while you can.

I thought about family. We were sitting in the waiting room, and my sister put her head on my shoulder. And it was like, we were feeling all the same things, and didn't have to say a word. I knew we were gonna get thru this. Family is so important.

I know it wasn't major, major surgery, but still, complications can always arise. And I'm thankful to God that everything turned out good, and thankful always for answered prayers.

I realized that a visit or a call when you're in the hospital means so much. More than you think. Just seeing Dad's reaction when someone would call, or how he'd perk up when a visitor would walk in, was enlightening. You also realize what good people some people are. I mean there were people there who I never dreamed would come by, and there were some maybe you'd expect to visit who didn't. Anyway, what I got from it is that it's very important to visit the sick, and at least to call if you can't visit. Even more important than I thought. It's something I need to do a lot more of.

I saw a little boy drinking from a water fountain, and thought about when I was a kid. Getting a drink from a water fountain was just the greatest thing then, even if you weren't even thirsty. When you're a kid, you can have fun with just about anything. I mean, you could give me a driveway full of rocks, or an empty refrigerator box, and I could have fun for hours, yea days. What about that Slip'n'Slide? There was some safe, high-quality entertainment, wasn't it? I mean, you're hurtling head-first down a hill on a wet, slick, 2-foot-wide piece of material. But kids don't care if they get hurt, as long as they're having fun. I remember sometimes I'd veer off the side of the thing, get all scratched up by the grass, be bleeding or something. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting back to the start and getting in line to go again.

I think I would like working in a hospital. I enjoy helping others. It's such a rewarding feeling when you do something for someone else. Esteeming others more than oneself, right? Of course, you don't have to work in a hospital to help others. But I mean, I think a big part of why we're here is to help others, encourage others, help those less fortunate, visit the sick, etc. It really all comes down to selfishness, I think. Sometimes I feel really selfish. But at the same time, I love helping others. I think I'd like working for a charity. There just seems to be such a sense of purpose there, like you're really doing something helpful, not just going into work day after day after day, going thru the motions of our mundane, workaday lives.

"I'm wishin' my daddy was forty again. Then he would be young, and I would be ten. We would go fishin', throw an old ball around. Wash his old truck, go into town. We can never go back to the way it was then. But just for today, I wish he was forty again..."

All You Need To Know About Me

It's 8:30 on Sunday night. I'm sitting home alone watching "One Fine Day" on ABC Family.. and enjoying it very much. Thank you.

I'm not real sure what that means.

Michelle Pfeiffer is my mostest favorite.

"But if you look for truthfulness, you might just as well be blind. It always seems to be so hard to give. Honesty, is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty, is hardly ever heard, and mostly what I need from you..."

Aarrggghhhh!!!

I feel like letting out a Howard Deanish yelp out of frustration. I had plans of washing my truck today, going to play tennis or for a run, cleaning around the house, and watching a bit of the race.

Dad came home today. So I have been running to get his medicine and other stuff he needs to help him out in his current situation. Then, the outside faucet broke off at the house when I was trying to wash the truck. I'm talking the PVC pipe broke in two! Water was gushing out of the back of the house. LOL If it hadn't been so disastrous, it would've been really funny. I had to cut the water off. Then, my sister's boyfriend had some pipe, so I ran back to Wal-Mart to get some PVC glue and a new faucet. Just got done with all that about fifteen minutes ago. Ah, the little joys of life.

It was so beautiful outside. I wanted to enjoy it. Oh well. Called Kyle to see if he wanted to hit some tennis. But he needed a nap. LOL (I guess working two days this week really got to him... hehe) Maybe I'll go running after church. Just want everything to settle down a bit. Just want to spend like one hour at home unbothered. Is that selfish? I guess that's the definition of selfish. Oh yeah, Mom had a wreck yesterday morning. She called me on my way to work to tell me about it. I think she is OK, but she said her neck was getting really stiff last night.

After work yesterday, I had lunch at Applebees. Got a full sidal hug (FSH) from Jade when I sat down. I was like, whoa, what's that for? She's such a sweetie. Sat with Davina. I probably haven't seen her in six weeks up there. She's been doing clinicals for school at Parkway. Chatted a bit with Tonya, Kristina, and Devin as well. Seems like more people I know work during the day than at night these days. Went to the hospital right after that. Stayed until about 9. Saw my uncle, two aunts, and my precious little cousin, Abby. Kyle came to Huntsville and we ate at Logan's. Got home around 11:30. Collapsed on the couch for the second night in a row. Gotta get ready for church. Will try to blog more when I have time.

"I believed in your confusion, so completely torn. Well it must have been that yesterday was the day that I was born. There's not much to examine. There's nothing left to hide. You really can't be serious if you have to ask me why, I say goodbye. Cos I am barely breathing..."

Hopes and Dreams

Had a freaked out dream last night, which is pretty much the norm for me:

I dreamed Kyle and I were at a red light, and he was driving, and he took off and ran the light. There was a cop passing by, so he turned around and came after us. I was trying to tell him which roads to take to lose the cop. LOL We end up getting out of the car, and go on foot, then we get caught. Suddenly, it's not Kyle anymore. It's my cousin that was driving. So my mom and aunt come to the police station. I end up getting off with a small fine, but it looks like my cousin is going to have to stay in jail for awhile. Then my dream ended.

Stayed at the hospital with Dad until a little after 7 last night. He's doing well. Just talked to him, and they took the IV's out and stuff. He had been up a few times and taken some steps with a walker. I'm sitting at work right now. I guess I will head back over to the hospital when I leave here.

Hoping for some big news in the next couple of days. Can't say much, but if this occurs, it'll be bigger than a Spandeau Ballet reunion tour. What?

"You could be my someone. You could be my scene. You know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene. I wonder what you're doin', imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far..."

Sein News

The Big Four Will Participate In Seinfeld DVD

Some interesting stuff from Jason Alexander.

"Please don't change. Please don't break. The only thing that seems to work at all is you. Please don't change at all, from me to you, and you to me, yeah..."

Friday 5

Thanks for the 25 year time warp! Ugh. I really needed that.

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?

Mrs. Sims. I used to pronounce it miss'-riz. LOL What about the first teacher you had a crush on? That would be a good question.

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?

Probably Smurfs. I always get the Smurfs theme song mixed up with the na-na-na part of "Centerfold." Like, if I get one in my head, I can't remember how the other one goes. How many Smurfs can you name? Handy, Hefty, Brainy, Papa, Baby, Smurfette, Vanity, Lazy... or was that a dwarf? They just don't make cartoons like they used to. I loved the Flintstones, but I can't remember if they ever came on Saturday morning. I liked that one with Superman, Wonder Woman, the whole hall of justice. What was it called? Superfriends?

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?

Um, imaginary or real? Imaginary: Bobby (he was a fireman). Real: Probably David. I was pretty much a loner thru Kindergarten and first grade. ROFL

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?

Back then, I guess Alpha-Bits. Also fond of Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks, Honeycomb, and Cap'n Crunch. Actually, it was probably whatever happened to have the best prize. I'd go to the grocery store with Mom and look at the backs of the cereal boxes. It didn't really matter what was in the box. I'd eat Beefjerky-O's if it came with a good prize.

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?

Well, I suppose the statute of limitations has passed. What? LOL I can't remember ever doing much after school, unless I had like baseball or basketball practice. I would just go play with kids in the neighborhood, you know. We would build a fort with pine needles, or ride bikes, or play football or something.

"I got a hole in me now. Yeah, I got a scar I can talk about. She keeps a picture of me, in her apartment in the city..."

Flirting with waitresses, the Tacoma Narrows bridge, and other major disasters...

I was at the hospital yesterday from 6:30 until about 5:00. My sister and I left for a little bit to get some lunch. As I said, everything went well. Dad wasn't put under. He had spinal anesthesia or something, where the lower half of his body was numbed. It was weird, because he said he could hear them sawing and hammering. Ewwwugghh! Planning to head back over there right after work today. They said I could take off again today, but I just had too much to get done for the weekend really, and I would've had to be on the phone for awhile explaining how to do what had to be done.

K called as we were leaving the hospital yesterday, so once I got home, I headed back to D-town to shoot some pool. Played pretty well. One of my biggest problems is not being consistent on my setup and execution of every single shot. I don't "get down" over every shot, and I lose concentration easily. Also, playing on that cloth up there is almost like having no cloth at all. LOL

K had the analogy of the night, as he was trying to bridge for a lengthy shot, which he missed: "Man, that bridge was about as shaky as the Tacoma Narrows." ROFL Anytime you can work TN into a conversation, it's got to be quality stuff.

Headed to Applebees after that to eat some dinner. Sat with Donna. Had the chicken quesadillas, since they were half-price. Jessica, Charity, and Holly were all working. Yes, Holly, aka Holly H---. Hmm. Well, I can't really give her nickname. Some hot blonde from Logan's was up there and started talking to me. I was like zoned out though, from being so tired. She was on her cell phone at one point and was like, "Do you want me to meet you somewhere?" She looked at me, and I nodded yes. ROFL Man, I was zoned out yesterday though, from being so tired. I was trying to type an email last night and kept transposing letters in every third word.

I did talk to Donna about possibly volunteering to serve the next time they have a tips for charity night. I think that would be cool, and she seemed to think it would be fine. She said most everyone would recognize me anyway. LOL Besides, I've been mistaken for an employee on more than one occasion. I have got to work on being more charitable and less selfish.

Celebrity sightings from the hospital:
Keanu Reeves
Danny Shirley
Darryl Worley
Mister Kruger (from Seinfeld)

"Gimme a ticket for aeroplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. Lonely days are gone. I'm a-goin' home. My baby just wrote me a letter..."

Prognosis Positive

Everything went well with Dad's surgery this morning. Thanks for all the calls and thoughts and concern. If all goes well, he may get to come home Sunday. I am just getting home from the hospital. Very tired. It's a really nice hospital. Several cute nurses working there. That's always a positive ;-)

"Here I go again on my own. Goin' down the only road I've ever known. Like a drifter I was born to walk alone. And I've made up my mind. I ain't wastin' no more time..."

Ladies, are you average?

Survey: Americans Have Super-Sized Bodies

38-32-41

I think that's nice. I don't mind a bit of a "thick" girl. Sometimes I prefer it. But hey, that's just me.

Today was soooo nice, as I'm sure you noticed. Temps in the 70's. Went by to get a haircut. Stopped by DQ for a chocolate dip cone :-P Mmm. Went to shoot pool with K at 5. Went to church after that. Watched the last part of the Bama game when I got home. They came back from 22 down to win in overtime. It was pretty exciting. Gotta get in the bed. Leavin' at 5:30 in the morning. I'm a tad nervous I guess. Will blog again when I can.

"Girl I'm faded, but I'm feelin' alright. I'm thinkin' 'bout makin' my move tonight. I can't pretend that you're only my friends when you're holdin' my body tight. Cos I like the way you're makin' it move. I like the way you're makin' me wait..."

Love In The Time Of Cholera

And suddenly, a new contender for strangest blog entry title arises from the masses.

So, what book are you? Very similar to the "what country are you?" quiz. (see a few entries below)


Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff could get you killed.

(Cartman voice) "Yeah, pretty much..." What the freak? Ahahahahahahaha!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Wow, maybe I have some deeper issues I need to face. Love In The Time Of Cholera. I dunno, that is just funny to say. Kim got "The Great Gatsby." That's what I wanted! That's my favorite book, and she hasn't even read it. Life is so unfair. LOL

OK, back to work. Seriouslah.

"Did you think it was fair? Did you think it was fun? Did you really believe that he was the one? And did you really think I'd take you back again? Finally found a game that you can't win. The fun is over. Let the hurtin' begin. And let me introduce you to the end..."

Observing the world while watching for falling prices... (amended)

Finally, I come up with a decent blog entry title. LOL You know, it's amazing the wide range of people that come into Wal-Mart, people from all walks of life. If Hemingway were alive today, he would probably spend hours writing and observing in Wal-Mart, instead of some quaint cafe in France... er, maybe not. Nevertheless, you can get a decent overview of our society just by spending some time inside Wal-Mart.

So that's where I went yesterday, and as I approach the door, there is this elderly lady out in the front vestibule there, standing behind an empty buggy, and she's looking at me like she knows me. So as I reach the door, she says in a rather loud tone, "You know, all these years I thought this was a grocery store." (Note here: This is not a Supercenter, but a regular "old" Wal-Mart.) So I stood there for a minute and listened to her. I told her there was a grocery store next door. I think she knew that most Wal-Marts had groceries as well, but just didn't realize that this particular one was not a Supercenter. Anyway, other people were just passing by. She was almost yelling, you know. It was kinda sad. I felt bad. See, what would be really great right about here was if I said, "Then I realized that I did know her. It was my grandmother." Or something like that. Anyway, I never figured out why she was just standing behind an empty buggy. (Buggy... that's a funny word.)

As I ventured inside and began to browse the aisles for the items I needed, I noticed a rather large section of "home" dental products. I'm talking periodontal probes, some high-tech-looking teeth cleaner, temporary fillings, etc. Basically everything but a drill and anesthetic. It scares me to think that someone buys and uses one of those long, sharp, metal probes. Yikes! So what's next, are people going to start "home dental-ing" their children?

When I was at the checkout, I saw this hottie on her way out without purchasing anything. I was like, hurry up lady!! Such exquisite beauty. I was hoping for a parking lot rendezvous. But alas, it was not to be. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday. LOL

Found out yesterday that we have to leave at 5:30 in the morning. So I won't be getting any more sleep than if I had to work. Of course, that is quite unimportant, considering.

"But will I hold you again? Your fickle, fuddled words confuse me. Like will it rain today? Wasted hours with talking, talking. These twisted games we're playing..."

Eliminating the need to communicate verbally...

Not a lot going on today. I did get confirmation to be off work Thursday for Dad's surgery, so I'll probably be pretty busy tomorrow working ahead and getting stuff done so I can be off. Stopped by to see my sister. Ran by Wal-Mart.

Already got a hit from a search for WPBA Delta Classic 2004. LOL BTW, if you check out wpba.com, click on "2004 Delta Classic Highlights" in the lower right corner. In the second picture from the top, I am in clear view on the far left, just to the left of Jeanette's elbow. I'm behind and to the left of the guy in the black jacket and blue shirt with the bulbous head. Tee hee.

Also got a hit today for someone searching for Veronica Varekova. I'm sure he was disappointed since I don't have any pics. Well, tell you what, here you go, buddy. That's all I got. LOL

Ugh... Had a lot on my mind lately. I enjoy it better when my mind is clear and mainly empty and I can be more creative with the blog. Well, I'm gonna go and watch Seinfeld.

"Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas, I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept. I could use a little fuel myself, and we could all use a little change..."

Thoughts on the WPBA Tournament

Well Kyle and I ventured to the WPBA's Delta Classic for the second year in a row. This year, we took along a new convert, J-Mo, and introduced him to the excitement that is live professional billiards. Didn't take J-Mo long to spot Jennifer Baretta, one of the newer players on the tour, who also happens to be quite hot. So his attention was diverted for a large part of Saturday.

The matches I got to see some or all of Saturday:
Jeanette Lee over Tiffany Nelson 9-8 (Sat.)
Vivian Villareal over Jennifer Chen 9-1 (Sat.)
Allison Fisher over Jeanette Lee 9-5, I think (Sat.)
Allison Fisher over Karen Corr 9-7 or 9-8 (Sat.)

Sunday's TV matches included:
Jeanette Lee over Helena Thornfeldt
Jeanette Lee over Karen Corr
Allison Fisher over Jeanette Lee 7-5 in the finals

I couldn't have hoped for much better. My favorite two players, Allison and Jeanette, in the finals for the second year in a row. And my favorite, Allison, winning again. She was down 5-4, but won the final three games. Wow, she made this one shot, like a three-rail bank shot, after Jeanette had played a safety on her. She went three rails with the cue ball and contacted the two-ball, which was in the middle of the table, knocking it in the side pocket. Also, we had the top four players in the world playing on Sunday. By the way, we should be plastered all over TV again this year, even moreso than last year. Kyle purposely wore a fluorescent yellow shirt. LOL

I got a pic with Jeanette and Allison. Man, I was a like a schoolgirl at an N'Sync concert at that point. Also got an autographed pic of Allison (she knows my name now). Had my pic taken with Dawn Hopkins, as well. Got to chat with her for a few minutes, too. I guess it wasn't quite as thrilling as last year, just because I was kinda used to seeing all the players and stuff, and had gotten to meet so many of them last year. But it was still very exciting, and I hope to return again next year.

Other thoughts on the weekend:
There was definitely a bigger crowd this year than last year. I'd say it was easily twice as crowded this year, probably close to three times as many people as last year.

There is (what I thought was) a strict no-flash photography policy inside the arena. No problems with it last year. However, this year, I'd say they had to stop five or six times because someone used a flash. A couple of them were right when the players were down over a shot. Come on!

Jeanette also had to stop one time and ask some loud-mouth in the crowd to stop talking. It was like, everyone was tense and quiet, and this guy was rambling and rambling, and it was quite loud.

Driving thru Memphis sure brought back some memories.

The final tally:
Greasy cheeseburger from the snack shop: $5
Two-day billiards tickets: $55
Watching J-Mo lose 75 bucks at blackjack: Priceless

OK, actually, I didn't get to see it. He was actually doing pretty good while I was watching. Nonetheless, I'm almost sure I overheard a waiter at the buffet on Sunday say something to him about washing dishes. What? ROFL

Personally, I'm not much for gambling. Putting money into a machine never to see it again. I'm out on that, really. I guess you could look at it like a video game or something. But there are a ton of people who are into it. Wow. That place was packed out. I did walk by one guy who had just hit a $6,000+ jackpot.

Anyway, I think it's safe to say that a great time was had by all. Met a couple of chicks from Louisiana. I was talking to one of them who said she plays in an APA league. It became clear to me this weekend that if I intend to get serious about pool, I need to join a league.

I'll leave you with a few WPBA funnies:
I'm walking around the casino with one of those cups they have to hold your coins in, and it is, of course, empty. Kyle says, "Man, you walking around with that cup is about as useful as this pack of condoms in my wallet." LOL I'm not sure what he meant by that. Oh wait.

Dokovic had already been eliminated by the time we arrived, so obviously, I was disappointed. LOL

We stopped at Subway on the way up there Saturday for lunch. J-Mo noticed a book lying in the back seat of the car parked next to us, titled "Why The South Was Right." Interesting.

Some dude with a bulbous head sat in front of Kyle on Sunday. He was like, "I can't see." ROFL

On Saturday, they play music in the background, a lot of 80's hits and stuff. So they were playing "Don't Forget Me When I'm Gone" and K was like, "Who is this, Huey Lewis?" And I was like, "No, it's not Huey Lewis. I think it's Glass Tiger." (short pause) "Or was that a character on Mike Tyson's Punch Out?" ROFL So then we start naming off characters: Don Flamenco, Bald Bull, King Hippo, Soda Popinsky, Glass Joe, Piston Honda. ROFL That was great.

"You can run, and you can hide. But I'm not leaving 'less you come with me. We've had our problems but I'm on your side. You're all I need, please believe in me..."