Wednesday, March 31, 2004

A Night At O'Hetero's (with apologies to Robert Smigel)

Received an instant message last night that some of you will enjoy more than others. I wish I would've saved it so I could just paste it here, but this will do. I can't remember the IM name, so I just made one up for effect.

VillageP69: "Can I ask you a personal question?"
Me: "Sure, I guess."
VillageP69: "What is your sexual orientation?"
Me: "Uh, hetero."
VillageP69: "Oh. Is that set in stone?"
Me: "Yes!"
VillageP69: "Well, that's too bad. I was bored and just looking to get into a little mischief."

What the freak? Do my pictures on my AOL page make me look non-hetero? Maybe I need to rethink my image. Maybe these silk shirts and pastel colors just aren't projecting the image I am looking to project. What? Oh well, it probably all goes back to the whole "single, thin, and neat" thing. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Nothing that a night out at O'Hetero's can't cure.

"Quick, let's duck in here. No one will recognize us in these clever disguises."
"Why was everyone calling us names and trying to pick a fight with us, big guy?"
"Well my friend, I guess the Native American still has a long way to go."

Other funnies:
"So why do people call you Little Nibbler?"
"Oh you don't wanna know."
"Well, just because I eat slow." ROFL
"Why do people call you Bone?"
"Oh, don't ask that." WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"I need a lot of motivation to work out. I need a sergeant. lol"
"A kaiser! A czar!"

"Sometimes I wish change could just leave well enough alone. When something is so good, so right, why can't it go on, and on and on? Maybe it's us and our foolish pride. But I never will understand why, change can't leave well enough alone..."

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