Friday, April 23, 2010

April showers bring... something from the Bone-chives

I'm off to Cincinnati, where there is a 70-90% chance of rain all weekend. Hopefully, they'll be able to fit a baseball game in there somewhere. Even if there's a four-hour rain delay, the game doesn't end until midnight and there are only like fifty fans left in the stands, I'll be one of them. And there's a 100% chance of that.

This would have been a perfect opportunity for stop number two on the Blog Reality Tour. Unfortunately, I don't believe I link to any bloggers in Ohio. There used to be one in Kentucky, and maybe a couple in Tennessee, but I guess they've all found other ways to occupy their time.

I shall return on Monday. That is, unless a Reds scout notices my surprising athletic ability and the agility of someone fifteen years younger as I scamper to chase a foul ball, and they decide to hire me on the spot as a full-time ball boy. Or, ball man, whichever. Until then, and in honor of Earth Day, I am recycling a post.

It's poetry month over at Cooper's. (OK, so as I google it now, evidently it's National Poetry Month. Who knew!) So I figured I'd do a poem for one of my three posts this month.

I would never claim to write actual and decent poetry. I'm way too literal, and always end up feeling like somewhere the words have to eventually rhyme. I'm more of a lyrics guy. Lyrics without music, that's me. I think I would have collaborated well with Bobby McFerrin.

Now that I have hopefully lowered your expectations to a sufficient level, here is an attempt at poetry, originally posted in 2007:

Perfume hint caught
Memory sparked
That year I was in love

Eager heart leapt
Lesson relearned
Forever is but a word

Freely falling fast
Feeling remembered
And missed

Past replaces present
Eyes now tightly closed
Smile grazes lips

Midnight phone calls
Sultry afternoons
Slinky black dress

Past recedes to past
I'll always believe
I loved you best

"Ain't no sun. Ain't no blue sky. The wind blows cold now that you've gone away. And tomorrow, just like today, there's a hundred percent chance of rain..."

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Wonder whatever became of me?

Let's begin today with a little humor. Very little.

Phone call from Dad the other day:
"Did your sister tell you I'm getting an iPad?"
"What! No you are not."
"Yes, I am. I'm getting an iPad."
"Oh, Lord help us." (Thinking, how will he ever learn how to work it?)
"The doctor says I have cataracts, so after they do surgery I'm gonna have to wear an eye pad."

*smacking self on forehead*

These are my comedy roots. Knowing this, I think it's quite remarkable that I have ever made anyone laugh at all.

Easter has come and gone since the last time we commenced. Highlights included Nephew Bone hunting eggs. Although they weren't really hidden, they were just sort of strewn across the yard in plain view. Back when I used to hunt, the eggs were hard to find! They would be up in trees, across a busy street... Then again, I was thirty-six.

Then, of course, there's the Easter candy. How they came up with the combination of hiding eggs and eating candy I'll never know. Asking me to pick my favorite Easter candy is sort of like asking me to pick my favorite Wham! song -- virtually impossible and even the bad ones are pretty good.

However, Marshmallow Peeps are a perennial favorite around the Bone household. I especially appreciate the extra effort they take in putting two brown dots for the eyes on each and every chick. What was the thinking behind this? "No! You can't market them like that. No one will ever believe they're chickens unless they have eyes!"

This past Saturday, I ran my first 10K of the year. I say first, which would indicate that there will be at least one more in the lead-up to the half marathon of a still-to-be-determined date and location. I ran a 48:35 Saturday, good for a solid 66th-place finish. I also realized that I have the same thought when I get to every race and see hundreds of people milling around: Am I the only person here who isn't normally up at 6 AM on a Saturday!?!?

In other news of note, I think we may have skipped right over spring this year in the heart of Dixie. We had about two days of windy, 65-degree weather. Otherwise, we pretty much went straight from not-really-cold-enough-to-be-winter-but-too-gray-to-be-spring to may-as-well-call-it-summer. I briefly considered inventing another new season -- perhaps Spummer or Suing -- but I figure one new season is enough for one person for one lifetime. I don't want to be too prolific, else people will start expecting things.

Not that I'm complaining about the weather, mind you. I enjoy warmth, whether it's an inappropriate hug from a grandmotherly old lady who I don't really know or simply basking in the glow of our yellow sun. Temps have been in the 80's most of the last two weeks here and I've been taking full advantage, doing plenty of grilling, golfing and running.

Next weekend, I'll be heading up to Cincinnati to see my beloved Reds play. It'll be my first visit to Great American Ballpark, or Cincinnati for that matter, land of Johnny Bench and Johnny Fever. We're going to the game on Saturday. I'm open to suggestions for something to do that Sunday, as apparently there is, much to my dismay, not a WKRP In Cincinnati museum.

"From some other planet, I'd get this funky high on yellow sun. Boy, I bet my friends would all be stunned..."

Friday, April 02, 2010

Blog Reality Tour: Nashville

Last Friday evening presented me with the most interesting of decisions. I could either drive to Nashville to hang out with three girls, or I could sit home, watch basketball in my underwear, and slink further away from human interaction. After careful contemplation, I decided to ward off dementia at least for a few more years and go to Nashville.

Through the medium known as electronic mail, I had received word several weeks ago that avid IYROOBTY reader OK Chick, Oklahoma City's foremost blogging runner, was going to be in town for a wedding. And so, after five-plus years of reading each other's blogs, we finally met!

It will go down as one of the great meetings of all-time. Right up there with When Harry met Sally, when Charlie finally met the Angels, and of course the most famous of them all, Act 1: They Meet after the second board of Ms. Pac-Man.

The four of us -- OK Chick, her sister, friend and I -- had dinner downtown at Jack's BBQ and listened to some live music at Tootsie's and Legends. In between dinner and music, we also took in a little taste of Old Nashville with a carriage ride.

The first time our driver (Is that what they're called? Driver?) quipped, "I'm Bill. This is Pete. He's the brains of the operation," it was folksy. When he said it the second time, two minutes later and with no apparent recollection of having already told us, I began to seriously wonder just where this guy was going to take us. (I was also thinking that if I had the Darryls with me, I could have responded with "I'm Larry. This is Darryl...")

But it went off without a hitch -- well, other than the horse being hitched to the carriage. Actually, there was a point near the end of the ride when a foul odor began wafting through the evening air. Apparently, Bill feeds Pete Beefareeno.

It was a fun night. (What a well-crafted line! Never say you don't get exceptional writing here, ladies and gentlemen.) I discovered that I kinda like being called "Bone" in social situations. Not to mention I scored two more Facebook friends from the outing. And really, isn't that what life has come to be all about?

This has also rekindled my interest in an idea I had several years ago, when I wore a younger blogger's clothes. You remember my Blog Reality Tour?


Well, it was an idea conceived by me, circa 2006. The gist of it is that I would tour the country visiting the people on my blogroll. Of course, I had quite a few more readers back then. And I posted much more frequently... (It strikes me here that if one is reminiscing about blogging days of yore, it is entirely possible one may have been blogging far too long.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, resurrecting the Blog Reality Tour. While thinking about this the other night, I realized that in all the times I've pondered this idea in my mind I've always just assumed that all bloggers would be perfectly fine with me staying with them overnight. Overjoyed, even. When in reality, that probably would not be the case at all. It's funny though, the little things we assume and how we see ourselves.

Sometimes I think the difference between how I view myself and how others view me is a deep, yawning chasm.

Nah! Surely not.

Until next time, this is your ruggedly athletic but sensitive, capable-of-grand-things-yet-accomplishing-very-little blogger, Bone.

"He says, Bill I believe this is killing me, as a smile ran away from his face. I'm sure that I could be a movie star, if I could get out of this place..."