Subject: The secret to making a marriage last:
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some good food, pleasant conversation, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds... in separate cities.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time," she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. One day she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?". I said, "Dust."
Why do most men die before their wives? Cos they want to.
"Doctor says you're cured but you still feel the pain. Aspirations in the clouds, but your hopes go down the drain. And you want her, and she wants you. We want everyone. And you want her, and she wants you. No one, no one, no one ever... is to blame..."