Monday, February 28, 2005

Proper Greeting System (PGS)

Whenever I meet someone on the street, there is a wide array of greetings that I can use. They range from a nod, a simple "hey", or the eyebrow raise, to the stop-and-hug or stop-and-talk. If I pass someone I do not know very well, or perhaps do not know at all, I might give a simple smile or a quick passing "hey." If it is someone I know, and especially if I have not seen them in awhile, they might expect me to stop and talk to them for a bit.

Now, that is all well and good. But from the time you first spot someone, if you are approaching them, you only have a very short time to decide on the proper greeting, possibly as few as two or three seconds. This is where our somewhat instinctive Proper Greeting System (or PGS... not to be confused with GPS) kicks in, or is supposed to anyway. Sometimes it malfunctions, and this can lead to some quite awkward moments.

A real-life example
Here is a situation that happened to me. I was in Food World, walking up the chips and drinks aisle. When I got to the end, I saw a girl who looked very familiar, pushing a cart with a baby in it, in the dairy section. My PGS apparently did not have enough time to assess the situation. So I stopped. Almost instantly, I knew this was a mistake. I could not think of this girl's name, or even how I knew her. So I made small talk. "How are you?" "Is this yours (referring to the baby)?" Finally, I was out of there. I still to this day do not know for sure who she was, just that I recognized her from somewhere.

Aloofness: A good thing
See? In this case, I should have gone with the passing "hey" or a simple smile. Much better to risk someone thinking that you are being unfriendly, than to put yourself into an awkward and uncomfortable situation. So when in doubt, always err on the side of aloofness. Of course, some people force the stop-and-talk, by themselves stopping. It's very difficult to do a passing "hey" when someone else has already stopped for a stop-and-talk.

The problem with the stop-and-talk is that by stopping, you are making a commitment right there of at least fifteen to thirty seconds. You can't just stop, say "hey" and move on. It seems that a few seconds of small talk is required. It would be nice if you could say, "Oh, you know what? I really did not mean to stop. I should have just given you a quick passing "hey" and kept walking. So, I'm really sorry. I'll see ya later."

A new greeting
One happy medium could be found in the increasingly popular slow-down-with-180-degree-turn. This is where you slow down as your reach the person, possibly greet them with a handshake or arm touch, but continue moving the entire time, all the while turning your body to continue facing them. This is a more friendly greeting than the passing "hey" and also gives you a few extra seconds to determine whether or not you want to stop. When you reach the end of your 180-degree-turn, you can then elect to stop and talk or turn and walk away.

Stay tuned for more 21st Century social perplexities and bachelor quandaries...

"Gonna hold who needs holdin', mend what needs mendin', walk what needs walkin', though it means an extra mile. Pray what needs prayin', gonna say what needs sayin', cos we're only here for a little while..."

Sunday, February 27, 2005

My weekend with Daisy Duke

Today's little known proverb: Two locusts doth not a plague make.

Well, I've been enjoying the Dukes of Hazzard marathon on CMT for much of the weekend. Here's what else has (or hasn't) been going on...

Come on, Reg!
I'm sitting here watching celebrity Jeopardy on GSN. It's Stephen King, some lady, and Regis. King is killing. The lady is doing pretty good. Regis is waaaay behind. He reminds me of those SNL Jeopardy spoofs. LOL

The extended birthday celebration continued Friday at work. Some lady brought me a card and some chocolate oatmeal and peanut butter and oatmeal cookies. Wow, that's like a Chanukah birthday or something. ("You've got one day, but we have eight crazy nights...") Went and hung out at Matt's Friday night. Nothing too exciting.

Had to work Saturday morning. Came home, watched the end of the Bama game. One of my friends from high school had called and was wanting to get together, so she, Jonathan, and one of his friends came over Saturday night and we played spades. Later, Jack, Paige, and Jack Jr. showed up. Seven is the most people I've had in my apartment in a long time, surpassing the six which were here on Christmas. I think it might be the most since the famous suprise birthday party, which is kinda sad. Jack asked how it felt to be 32. I think everyone was amused at my response of, "It feels great. Feels so good, it makes me just want to smash my head thru the TV." That got a big laugh.

One funny did happen. I noticed the baby was wearing a Boston Bruins jacket. I didn't say anything, but I thought to myself, "I didn't know Jack was such a hockey fan. And, where do you even find hockey merchandise around here, much less Boston Bruins merchandise?" So later, he was crying, and I was trying to get him to stop, so I was like, "What's the matter? Are you sad that the NHL cancelled their season?" So then Jack tells the story that Paige bought the jacket and thought the "B" on it stood for boy. It was clearly a black and gold Bruins "B". Oh man, it was hilarious.

We all vowed to get together more in the future. You know how that goes. It was a fun time, though. Everyone left about 10:30 and I realized I hadn't eaten supper, so I fixed some soup and a salad. Had a weird dream about the really short waitress at Logan's last night... Veronica... Bethany... Julie... whatever her name is. OK, I'm gonna get back to doing laundry and get ready to watch the race.

"I rode the ferris wheel with her one time at the Lawrence County Fair."
"Did you ask her to ride or did she ask you?"
"She asked me, of course. You can't just walk up to a girl and ask her to ride with you. What planet are you on?"

"Did you buy clear Kool-Aid? This tastes like water."

"So what about you? Do you have a girlfriend?"
"If he had a girlfriend, he wouldn't be over here playing cards with us on a Saturday night. At least I hope not."

"Ain't no glory in this livin'. Ain't no runnin' from your sins. I hope there's angels where I'm goin'. Ain't no angels where I've been..."

Friday, February 25, 2005

Friday Five

TV Alert: Rachel Ray on Letterman tonight(2/25)!

Not much to blog about today, so I figured, I'd do this. (from The Friday Five)

1.) If you were in a band (you know, a successful one...), and you HAD to remake an old song, what band/song would you choose and why?
I'd remake a Milli Vanilli song, because no one plays them anymore, and maybe they'd play our version, but probably not. What song? Umm, "Blame It On The Rain", cos I can't understand all the words to "Girl You Know It's True."

2.) If you were a Make-a-Wish child, what would you wish for (and why)?
Well, when I was a kid, I wanted to meet Michael Jackson. But now, well, you know. I guess I'd wish to go to Disney World.

3.) If you had the chance to learn when you were going to die, would you take it? Would you tell anyone if you knew (either your date of death or theirs)?
OK, that's two questions. Um, I would say no, in both cases. Somehow, I think we are better off not knowing.

4.) If you couldn't die until you helped someone, would you rather live forever selfishly or die earlier?
What is this, some sort of morbid bizarro boy scout question? Obviously, I'd help someone and die earlier.

5.) If there's any goal you haven't accomplished yet, what is it and what is stopping you?
Live in or near New York City. I guess just the natural apprehension of making such a big move is stopping me. Being reluctant to take a risk. For now, anyway.

"You're like the warm sunshine. I think of you all the time. I've fallen for you and that's a fact. What do you say to that?"

Thursday, February 24, 2005


The San Antonio/Houston game was on at the steak house last night. K mentioned Sean Elliott. So I said he hasn't played in years, and that he was on the original NBA Jam, along with David Robinson. (I think you know where this is going.) That started me thinking about the original NBA Jam arcade game. I decided to see how many of the original two-man teams I could name. Sure, I could look it up on the internet, but what fun would that be? I'm definitely not sure about all of these. Let me know if you can think of any, or have corrections. Perhaps we can eventually put the "nail in the coffin." Here's what I have thought of so far:

The Original NBA Jam
Atlanta - Dominique Wilkins, Steve Smith?
Boston - Dee Brown, Robert Parish
Charlotte - Larry Johnson, Alonzo Mourning
Chicago - Scottie Pippen, Horace Grant
Cleveland - Mark Price, Brad Daugherty
Dallas - Derek Harper, Jim Jackson
Denver - Dikembe Mutombo?,
Detroit - Bill Laimbeer, Joe Dumars?
Golden State - Chris Mullin, Tim Hardaway?
Houston - Hakeen Olajuwon, Robert Horry?
Indiana - Reggie Miller, Derrick McKey?
LA Clippers - Danny Manning, Ron Harper?
LA Lakers - James Worthy, Vlade Divac
Miami - Harold Miner?, Rony Seikaly?
Milwaukee - Glenn Robinson?, Vin Baker?
Minnesota - Tom Gugliotta?,
New Jersey - Derrick Coleman
New York - Patrick Ewing, John Starks?
Orlando - Nick Anderson,
Philadelphia - Clarence Weatherspoon?
Phoenix - Charles Barkley, Kevin Johnson
Portland - Clyde Drexler, Terry Porter
Sacramento - Mitch Richmond,
San Antonio - Sean Elliott, David Robinson
Seattle - Gary Payton, Shawn Kemp
Utah - John Stockton, Karl Malone
Washington - Harvey Grant?,

"I'm always workin', slavin' every day. Gotta get a break from the same old, same old. I need a chance just to get away. If you could hear me think, this is what I'd say..."

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Yeah, and I'm Ruben's brother

I just had to share this. This sweet-sounding older lady called work today and I answered. She said, "Yes, my name is blah blah blah. I'm Bo Bice's grandmother." Well, I haven't watched American Idol any this year, but I've listened to radio and read the paper enough to know that Bo Bice is one of the finalists or whatever, and he is originally from Alabama. She went on to say he was gonna be appearing somewhere around here tonight. Anyway, I thought it was an interesting call, if not humorous. (And no, I'm not posting this just so I'll get some extra hits, although I probably will.)

"We took one more trip around the sun, but it was all make-believe in the end. No, I can't say where she is today. I can't remember who I was back then..."

Bone: From 10 to 1

(stolen from Lindsy)

TEN Random Things About Me
1. I have a very hard time telling people no
2. Two of my shining accomplishments are meeting Faith Hill and Allison Fisher
3. I have the same birthday as Abraham Lincoln (different year)
4. I was Spanish Club President in high school, but I don't remember very many words
5. I have mild OCD, a need for symmetry
6. I don't smoke or drink
7. I am a member of the Church of Christ
8. A fabric softener sheet just fell out of my sweatshirt a minute ago in the bathroom
9. I will seriously consider adopting children in five or six years if there are no signs that I might be getting married
10. I tweaked my back several days ago and it has been killing me for the past week

NINE Places I've Visited
1. New York
2. New Orleans, Louisiana
3. Indianapolis, Indiana
4. Dallas, Texas
5. Atlanta, Georgia
6. Memphis, Tennessee
7. Richmond, Virginia
8. Destin, Florida
9. Luckenbach, Texas (thanks, Mom!)

EIGHT Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Move to New York
2. Have kids
3. Get up on open mic night at a comedy club
4. Visit London and Paris
5. Work for a charity/non-profit organization
6. See the Reds play in Cincinnati
7. Work in a sports-related job
8. Write something and have it published

SEVEN Ways To Win My Heart
1. Act and speak like a lady
2. Be funny
3. See the good in me
4. Don't drink or smoke
5. Enjoy watching Seinfeld
6. Be honest
7. Be trying to put God first in your life

SIX Things I Believe In
1. The Bible
2. Love
3. Giving
4. Honesty
5. Prayer
6. Helping others

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of
1. Forever
2. Losing my parents
3. Snakes
4. Having to buy larger than a 33 waist. (I obviously can't think of anymore.)
5. Sleepwalking and hurting myself

FOUR Of My Favorite Items In My Bedroom
1. My bed
2. My computer
3. My burgundy and white Old Navy shirt
4. My Seinfeld tickets!

THREE Things I Do Everyday
1. Pray
2. Get online
3. Shower

TWO Things I Am Trying Not To Do Right Now
1. Fall asleep
2. Rip the phone out of the wall and throw it out the window

ONE Person I Want To See Right Now
1. Allison Fisher

"He went to Paris, looking for answers, to questions that bothered him so. He was impressive, young and aggressive, saving the world on his own..."

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Bachelor, I presume?

I'm not saying I believe in the tooth fairy, but let's just say that I've never had to give a second thought as to how I would properly dispose of any of my teeth.

You can tell a lot about someone by the groceries they buy. Apparently. I posted something similar to this several months ago. (Here, actually.) So I'm at Wal-Mart tonight and when I get to the checkout, the dude is about halfway thru my items and out of the blue, he says, "Bachelor, I presume?" First of all, why can't a cute chick cashier say that to me? Second of all... OK, there is no second of all. I guess my Tony's pizza-for-one and my one cucumber might have given it away. What am I supposed to do, buy in bulk?

This afternoon turned out to be beautiful, so I went running at Wilson Morgan. I think I'm about to cook some supper and watch some basketball.

"It's the simple things in life, like the kids at home and a loving wife, that you miss the most, when you lose control..."

Monday, February 21, 2005

Monday Madness

This week, using the letters in your name (real or screen name), list places that you've been to. Be creative! Have fun! =)

B - Battery Park in New York
O - Orange Beach
N - New Orleans
E - East Rutherford, New Jersey

(from Monday Madness)
I was gonna do Human Jukebox, but U and X? No way.

"Please come to Boston for the springtime. I'm stayin' here with some friends and they've got lots of room. You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk, by a cafe where I hope to be workin' soon..."

Day 11697 of the Bone Reality Show

Wow, 33 hits from searches for "Lonely No More" (which I posted lyrics for here) between 10 AM Friday and 6 PM Sunday.

I'm on no sleep
Melody had a medical emergency late Saturday night and ended up in ICU for several hours. She was out in a regular room by last night. Kyle and I drove up to visit. Shane joined us and we all went to Famous Dave's for dinner, at which a large portion of the conversation centered around my ex-girlfriends and the mistakes I have made and the ones I let slip away. At which point, I began pretending to slam my head into the brick wall. Ah, good times. It rained almost the entire way up there and back. I didn't get home until nearly 1 AM, so I look like I came out on the wrong end of a sleep deprivation project today. Melody is doing better. Hopefully, the tour of emergency rooms across the country ends here.

Back when a 50 was a 50
Friday night was pool at Bumpers and dinner at the Leather-Free Applebees in Huntsville. My skull cap provided inspiration for some interesting conversation there. On Saturday night, I ended up hanging out at a friend's place watching the slam dunk contest and 3 point shootout. The dude who won the dunk contest (who I'd never heard of, by the way) got 3 50's (a perfect score) in 4 dunks. Dude, whatever happened to the days when you actually had to do something to earn a 50? Tip to Charles Barkley, Kenny Smith, Magic Johnson, and other TNT announcers: Just saying a thousand times that the dunk contest has returned to its glory days and is as good as ever doesn't make it so. No matter how many times you tell us how exciting it is, we know better. The Stoudamaire off-the-backboard-off-Steve-Nash's-head dunk was the best, but other than that, it stunk. I asked someone like fifteen minutes after it was over who had won. They couldn't tell me, and we had just sat there and watched it. It had a good run... Dr. J, Dominique, Jordan, Spud Webb, even Vince Carter. But now, it's over. Let it go.

If there's debris on the track, but no one sees it...
In other weekend sports, I watched most of the Daytona 500 yesterday. Jeff Gordon won. It was actually fairly exciting, with the aid of a Dale-Junior-is-way-behind-mysterious-debris-on-the-track caution flag or two. About halfway through, there were four cars distancing themselves from the pack. I had just thought to myself, NASCAR isn't going to be too happy with this. Then, boom! Caution for debris. Never fails. Oh well, such is the state of NASCAR. Love it or leave it, I guess.

"In your world I have no meaning, though I'm trying hard to understand. And it's my heart that's breaking, down this long distance line tonight. I ain't missing you at all..."

Friday, February 18, 2005

100% Nylon

Not a good re-cover-y
Well, K and I hit up The Brick Deli, Indoor Amphitheatre, Billiards Hall, and Tobacco Emporium last evening for some semi-exciting 8-ball action. As soon as I walked in and saw the tables, I knew something was different. Instead of the usual faded green cloth with brown patches and worn spots, I was greeted by a brilliant bright green on each table. Hopes were high, at first, because re-covering these tables was long overdue. However, once I got a closer look, I could tell this was not the high-quality Simonis cloth that I have come to know and love... or that I've only seen on TV. It was thin, stretchy cloth, that had to be mostly nylon. Maybe they'll get broken in or something in a few weeks.

It's Alli's world
Speaking of billiards, congratulations to my pseudo-girlfriend, Allison Fisher, on winning the season opening WPBA event of the year in North Carolina last week! Love ya, baby! Could I find just one girl who speaks like she does? OK, probably not.

"Did Brandi speak to you?"
"No. I thought about speaking to her first, but then I thought, why mess up 32 years."

"Go to your happy place."
"Uhh, this IS my happy place."

"So you got to meet his woman?"
"You mean the girl who waited on us."
"Well, of course. Aren't those two phrases interchangeable in almost every situation?"

"What is that?"
"Cocktail sauce."
"Don't you have any tartar sauce? That looks menstrual."

"This love has taken its toll on me. She said goodbye, too many times before..."

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Class of '91

I found this while surfing on BE, from Blonde Librarian.

A quick recap of your senior year of high school (aka "the glory days"):

What year was it?
1991 (Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just jealous cos it's a palindrome.)

What were your three favorite bands?
Well, they're not all bands, but Milli Vanilli, Beastie Boys, and Bobby Brown. (Some things never change, I guess.)

What was your favorite outfit?
I liked pullover sweaters for some reason then. Also had this maroon and white striped Levis t-shirt that I wore until the fabric disintegrated into dust. And tapered-leg jeans. lol No, they weren't tight-rolled. That was sooo 9th grade.

What was up with your hair?
Nothing wild. I had more, and no gray hairs.

Who were your best friends?
I dunno. Jack, Rickey, David, Jonathan, Kevin, Amy, Emily, Marlo, Marcy.

What did you do after school?
Detention? I dunno. I had a job at a grocery store that I'd go to two or three days a week. If I was off, sometimes we'd play basketball. I'd go to watch the girls volleyball games sometimes.

Did you take the bus?
No. Not after I was old enough to drive. I drove my baby blue 1984 Ford Escort hatchback with sport stripes on the door and louvers on the back window (aka "The Love-mobile"). Actually, I think that was 11th grade, but whatever.

Who did you have a crush on?
Alison. Shelly. Umm, that's all I can think of. Oh, and probably a teacher or two. (Let's see, there was Miss Letourneau and... what?) Most of the girls I had crushes on were older and were no longer in school.

Did you fight with your parents?

Who did you have a CELEBRITY crush on?
Wow, I can't remember back that far. Loni Anderson? ROFL OK, I'm not that old.

Did you smoke cigarettes?

Did you lug all of your books around in your backpack all day because you were too nervous to find your locker?
ROFL Uh, no. I loved going to my locker. It was a time to socialize with all my locker neighbors. Although I used to have a recurring dream that I was in school and could never remember my locker combination.

Did you have a 'clique'?
No. I liked the standard Bic pen with the "no-roll" barrell. Or the four-color pen, with red, blue, black, and green ink. It was great for writing and color-coding three-part rap songs.

Did you have "The Max" like Zach, Kelly, and Slater?
I wish. The best place we had to hang out was at this girl's house that had a big room upstairs above their garage. It had a big sectional sofa, TV, microwave, pool table, mini fridge, etc. We'd go there after football games, watch Cheers reruns, play spades, and shoot pool.

Admit it, were you popular?
Well, everyone knew me. Especially after The Potpourri Incident and the Gym Window Incident. I could relate to the popular people and the not-so-popular people, so it was cool.

Who did you want to be just like?
In school? Nobody. I guess I wanted to be like Mike. Sometimes I dream, that he is me. You got to know that's how I dream to be...

What did you want to be when you grew up?
I think I wanted to be a computer programmer or a journalist, like a sports writer.

Where did you think you'd be at the age you are now?
Not here. I thought I'd be married. Thought I'd have a kid or two. Thought I'd be living somewhere else. Let's see, that would be no, no, and no. OK, that's it. Screw you guys, I'm moving to New York.

"I had a friend was a big baseball player, back in high school. He could throw that speed ball by you, make you look like a fool, boy..."

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

It's over now, and I don't know how...

Well, I guess it's over. I heard Rob Thomas' new solo song on the radio on my way home from work today. It's called "Lonely No More."

Now it seems to me that you know just what to say
But words are only words
Can you show me something else
Can you swear to me that you'll always be this way
Show me how you feel
More than ever, baby

Well, I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

Now it's hard for me when my heart is still on the mend
Open up to me
Like you do your girlfriends
And you sing to me and it's harmony
Girl, what you do to me is everything
Let me say anything just to get you back again
Why can't we just try

I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
You do know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don't wanna be lonely anymore

What if I was good to you
What if you were good to me
What if I could hold you till I feel you move inside of me
What if it was paradise
And what if we were symphonies
What if I gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you

I don't want to be lonely no more
I don't want to have to pay for this
I don't want another lover at my door
It's just another heartache on my list
I don't wanna be angry no more
But you know I could never stand for this
When you tell me that you love me, know for sure
I don't wanna be lonely any more

[+/-]view lyrics/done

So, I guess that could be it for Matchbox Twenty. Well, it's been a good 9 or 10 years. If this is indeed the end, allow me to share a couple of stories. When the second album was released, two different chicks ended up buying me a copy. I had to give one back. So that was kinda neat. Or something. Then, at the concert two years ago, it felt like it was me and about ten thousand 15-year-old girls. Oh, that's because it was.

"I almost wrote a song about you today, but I tore it all up and then I threw it away. And I almost had you, but I guess that doesn't cut it. Almost loved you, and I didn't even know it..."

Is everyone having a bad day?

Now anyone who really wanted me to be down, come around...
Three different people made remarks to me today asking if something was wrong, if I was bummed, and if I was sleepy. LOL So apparently, I've got the blahs or something. I suppose work issues, the birthday, Valentine's Day, and other things have taken a toll. But I have felt much better and back to normal last night and today. However, several people I know have been and are dealing with various issues lately. I talked to a couple of friends yesterday who were dealing with some serious stuff. Whatever is going on with you, hang in there, and lean on your friends. That's why we're hizzle. (Am I the only one who feels like singing "Lean On Me" now? I am? OK, that's what I figured. Nevermind. What makes me type such geigh stuff sometimes?)

On the 5th day of Bone...
Well, my birthday celebration extended into day number five yesterday. Three ladies stopped by work, each bearing gifts. I got some smell-good stuff, an Alabama visor, and some cash for the Starving DJ fund. I had never even met any of them before. Sometimes people's thoughtfulness and kindness is overwhelming.

Are you a de-gifter?
De-gifting is the practice of giving someone a gift, then at a later time, telling them that you want it back. I experienced this the other night, as I had to give back some Christmas gifts that I had received. I think it's kinda crappy, actually. Once I give something to someone, I don't ask for it back. I mean, if you don't want them to have it, then don't give it to them. What do you think about this?

George: "The wedding is off. Now you can go to the Super Bowl."
Jerry: "I can't call Tim Whatley and ask for the tickets back."
George: "You just gave them to him two days ago. He's gotta give you a grace period."
Jerry: "Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? There's no grace period."
George: "Well, didn't he regift the label maker?"
Jerry: "Possibly."
George: "Well, if he can regift, why can't you degift?"
Jerry: "You may have a point."

"Her eyes are blue. Hey hair is long. In sixty-four, she was born in Baton Rouge. Her favorite song is In My Life. I memorized her every move. I knew her books, her car, her clothes. But I paid no attention to what mattered most..."

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Search String Absuridty (Feb. 05)

VD recap... After ordering some flowers and washing my truck because it was so nice outside, I pretty much stayed in my fortress of privacy the rest of the evening.
Ex-girlfriends asked out: None
Mission accomplished! Back to base, Joe!

Search String Absurdity
As usual, searches related to Seinfeld and song lyrics were among the most popular over the past month. Super Bowl and Valentine's related-searches were also popular. However, when grouped together, WPBA-related searches were #1.

Top Searches:
1. George Strait concert/set list
2. "Back When" (the fizz in a Pepper song)
3. Jennifer Baretta
4. Karen Corr
5. Degree "Mama's Boy" Super Bowl commercial
(tie) Allison Fisher

Now for the odd, the interesting, and the very disturbing...

Honorable mention:
- lulu hogg
- young pedo pics archives (Shouldn't you be in a prison somewhere?)
- speedos waterpark north carolina (Uhhh...)
- Naughty Wives being spanked-text only
- chris pontius blog (Well, you WOULD think Steve-O would have a link,)
- cajuns of 1800's
- +"korean war" +howitzer +"gi joe" (The war's over. Let it go.)
- Las Vegas Coroners Office January 3 2005
- woman's world had Richard Simmons picture
- "Roy Flux" (#1 and ONLY result on Google for this. lol)

And this week's winners...
Second runner-up: karen corr sex (Bluuaagh! OK, no lunch for me today. How about you?)
First runner-up: nosy girl spanked (I must really talk about spanking a lot on here, although I don't recall it.)
And this week's winner: meet singles who share art bell fanclub (Although I have a sneaking suspicion on who might have searched for this. Coast to Coast, babee!)

"Old folks sittin' on a front porch swing. Still holdin' hands like they were sixteen. Fifty good years, they're a lover's dream. Darlin' that could be you and me. Don't that make you wanna fall in love?"

IYROOBTY updates

Well, Blogger updated it's comment system last weekend and broke the hack I was using. However, I like their new system much better, so I've decided to go with it. You can use your blogger ID, post as anonymous, or you can click on "other" and enter your name (and website, if you like).

- When you click on comments now, they will simply expand where you can see them on the main page, instead of loading a separate page. If you click post a comment, it brings up a pop-up window.
- Got the recent comments section working again and back on the sidebar.
- Added a Top 25 College Basketball scoreboard scroll box on the sidebar.

"The days keep coming without fail. A new wind is gonna find your sail. That's where your journey starts. You'll find better love, strong as it ever was, deep as the river runs, warm as the morning sun. Please remember me..."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day!

Are you enjoying your VD?
First of all, let me say Happy Valentine's Day to all the ladies out there. I remember back in elementary school, we used to make colorful little bags with our names on them, and everyone would bring Valentine's and put them in your little bag. That was fun. And now. Well, now, it's just a 24-hour struggle to try and keep from calling any of my ex-girlfriends. So far, so good.

Birthday weekend recap
Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes, calls, cards, dinners (and nachos and gmail). lol Some of the calls and cards really made me realize how important it is, how much it means, when someone remembers your birthday. Friday night, I met up with J-Mo and Kyle. We went to Bumpers to shoot pool. Lee and Roy also joined up with us over there. Obi-Wan Kenobi was up there with what appeared to be several Padawan learners. (Kyle said it looked more like a Lord of the Rings character, but I'm fairly certain it was Obi-Wan. I think he just likes anything that makes him think of Erin.) Ended up at Logan's after they closed. They had turned off the grills, so I ate free salad and soup for supper.

Saturday, Mom cooked birthday lunch for me. Fried chicken legs. Mmmmmm. Cherry pie. Double mmmmm! My sister and her husband, my aunt, and my little six-year-old cousin were over there as well. I just adore her. She makes the world seem not so bad. The Nashville plans got cancelled because Melody's Dad (we'll call him Bob Vila), fell off a ladder while cleaning out the gutter on their house, and was med-flighted to Huntsville. (The things people do to get mentioned on my blog.) He apparently is OK, but S&M headed down from Nashville to see him. So Saturday night, ended up having dinner at Wings. I won't talk about intestinal matters here, but suffice it to say, I love wing sauce, but wing sauce don't love me. Ended up at Bumpers again with the same group, sans J-Mo. Then K and I met up with Shane at Steak and Shake. By then, it was Sunday, and my birthday was over. Dad took us out for another birthday lunch after church Sunday.

Are you single, cute, and... a girl?
I almost forgot. These came in Saturday!

That was a nice birthday present for myself. So now I have 27 days to find a date. That should be plenty of time. Or not nearly enough time. Whichever. So, if you're single, thin, and neat... oh wait. If you're single, relatively cute, and somewhat enjoy Seinfeld, please contact me for your ticket. Otherwise, I guess I'll take Kyle.

"There's three billion women in the world. Or trillion. Is it billion or trillion?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought, cos if it was trillion, surely I could find one."

"Did she call?"
"No. I think this could be the end... after six years."

"When evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love..."

Saturday, February 12, 2005


Well, I just checked my profile. It's true.

Saved By The Bell is on. The one with the girl on the wrestling team. "Do something Zack." "Christy, use the hold you used at the Max!" lol

K, I'm goin' back to bed.

"I got a hole in me now. Yeah, I got a scar I can talk about. She keeps a picture of me, in her apartment in the city. Some things in this world, man, they don't make sense..."

Friday, February 11, 2005

Could this be my year?

There's something in the air, my friends. After last night's activities, I stopped by Wal-Mart kinda late. Walking thru the parking lot, I glanced down and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a shiny new Alexander Hamilton. That's right, boys and girls, a $10 bill. I looked around to make sure it wasn't some kind of a joke, picked it up and stuck it in my pocket. Daddy needs a quarter-tank of gas!

Then this morning, sleepy-eyed and on four hours sleep, I heard "Ice Ice Baby" on the radio. On the radio! That just doesn't happen everyday. Boo-yah! (<---hip, cool phrase.. don't concern yourself with it)

Finally, I'm surfing Blog Explosion a few minutes ago and I win 25 bonus credits. Woohoo! I can't imagine things getting much better. Of course, I don't have a date for Valentine's Day (that can always be considered a blessing though) and no big plans for my birthday. But the way things are going, I wouldn't be surprised if all that changed. Or I'd be very surprised, astounded, and shocked beyond coherence. Whichever.

If I had to guess, I'd say that I'll probably head up to Nashville at some point this weekend.

I'm reminded of a couple of Seinfeld lines...
(from The Red Dot)
Elaine: "No, today's YOUR lucky day."
George: "It'd be my first one."

(from The Betrayal)
George: "Ahh, this is the kind of day that almost makes you feel good to be alive."
Jerry: "Almost."

"Fifteen, there's still time for you. Twenty-two, I feel her, too. Thirty-three, you're on your way. Every day's a new day..."

Shoot Cupid

Fed up with VD? Just want to kill some time at work? Try this little game.

If cupid won't shoot you, you can Shoot Cupid. Enjoy.

"When they ask me why it all came undone, I say four trips around the sun is a lot for anyone..."

Thursday, February 10, 2005

13 Musical Questions

Because Kerry said I had to... lol

1. Song that sounds like happy feels:
"Centerfold" by J. Geils Band

2. Earliest Memory:
Well, I don't remember who sang it, but my parents and a lot of old 33's, and there was a country song that went "I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it, cos I know just what I'm gonna do. Gonna spend my money, callin' everybody honey, and wind up singin' the blues..." So evidenty, if you want your kids to grow up and abstain from alcohol, play drinking songs for them when they're young.

3. Last CD you bought:
Well, I bought 3 used ones Saturday night: When The Wrong One Loves You Right by Wade Hayes, 20 Classical Favorites by Various Artists, and I See It Now by Tracy Lawrence.

4. Reminds you of school:
Hmm. I don't think I really knew what music was at this point. I guess either the Electric Company theme or the Sesame Street theme. You know, "Sunny days, sweepin' the clouds away..."

High School
There are several. "All Around The World" by Lisa Stansfield reminds me of the bowling field trip. "Ice Ice Baby" reminds me of homecoming my senior year. And "Look Away" by Chicago, because there would always be these guys sitting by the door in the morning singing that song really loud.

I was in a mostly country phase at this time. No particular song stands out.

5. Total music files on your PC
Very, very few. A handful. For some reason, I was never really big on the downloading thing.

6. Song for listening to repeatedly while depressed
I don't think I listen to any songs repeatedly when depressed. Although I don't have it, I suppose that "Dead, Dead, Dead" would be a good one. It's quite uplifting.

7. Song that sounds British, but isn't:
Wow, that's a hard one. I dunno, every song I can think of that sounds British IS British. What about "Love Shack" by B-52's? That guy kinda sounds British. Maybe. Or not.

8. Song you love, band you hate:
Does this mean a song I love that is done by a band I hate? I can't think of any. Why would I hate a band if I loved their song?

9. A favorite song from the past that took ages to track down:
How about a few that I'd like to track down, but haven't really tried that hard to find? "Set Adrift On Memory Bliss" by PM Dawn, "New Age Girl" by Deadeye Dick, and "Reasons To Quit" by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard.

10. Bought the album for one good song:
OK, I've only done this about twenty times, but the one that stands out is Dexter Freebish. I bought their album for "Leavin' Town" and the rest of the CD was a complete and total auditory nightmare. It was less entertaining than Dick Cheney reading aloud from the phone book.

11. Worst song to get stuck in your head:
It was "Carol Of The Bells" for a long time, but I don't seem to get stuck on that one much anymore. The Sesame Street is a good one, especially at work... or in mental hospitals. And the A-Team theme song. I like to make up various lyrics and sing them to the tune of the A-Team theme song. For example... eh, nevermind.

12. Best song to dump a beer on someone's head to, then storm out of the bar:
Sounds like this one came from someone's personal experience. I have no clue. "Friends In Low Places", I guess.

13. Who should do this next?
Um, J-Mo? Lindsy? Anyone who is bored at work and can actually come up with answers to all 13 questions. A couple of these were pretty tough for me.

"Reaching out, I touch a stranger. Electric eyes are everywhere. See that girl? She knows I'm watching. She likes the way I stare..."

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Candy Hearts

Call Me, You're Cute, I Love You...
I'm sitting here eating some of these little candy hearts. You know the ones... Be Mine, Kiss Me, Miss You, Lets Kiss, etc. Among the more interesting ones are "Page Me" and "Whiz Kid." First of all, pagers are soooo early 90's. And Whiz Kid? What the crap does that have to do with Valentine's Day? Perhaps you give that to some nerdy kid. "Here, whiz kid. This is why you don't have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day." Then there's "Let's read." Oh yeah, that line is guaranteed to get you a winner. Any kid that walks up to a girl and says "Let's read" is probably gonna be in therapy at some point in life. Anyway, I bought six boxes of these, so I'll have something to keep me occupied for the next couple of days. Actually, it reminds me of a funny story when I gave one of these to my hot eleventh grade teacher, and she... Well, on second thought, nevermind.

The Cards
I also bought a couple VD cards to send to some female friends. I tell you what, about 80% of the cards I saw are crap. I'm not talking about the deep, sappy cards with four paragraphs of writing. And I'm not talking about the humorous cards. There are definitely some pretty clever cards. But I'm talking about those not-too-deep-nothing-special-just-want-to-say-Happy-Valentine's-Day cards. How many ways is there to say it? One has a rainbow. One has a bumblebee. One has some flowers. One is just red and pink with writing. They all basically say exactly the same thing. Who gets paid to write these particular cards? That's the job I want.

"I have the body of a taut, pre-teen Swedish boy!"
Here's your assignment for today: Click on "View My Complete Profile" on the right side of the page. Take a picture. Or do a PrintScreen and paste it somewhere. Take careful note of the page, because it won't be long until something on there will be changing, never to be the same again. (And no, I'm not having a sex change.) And there's nothing I can do to stop it. Some of my absolute favorite comments (and by absolute favorite, I mean least favorite) are "Age is just a number" and the surprised tone when they repeat it back to me, "Thirty-two!?!?" Some of my favorites (even if you're lying) are "Well, you don't look it" and "I'd still go out with you." Anyhow, I thought I would share some dialogue from the past couple of weeks with you. Perhaps you will enjoy it. And feel free to add your own.

"How old are you gonna be?"
"Ummm... thirty-two."
"Thirty-two!? I thought you were about twenty-seven."
"Well, I did, too. But I woke up one day, and I wasn't."

"I'll be thirty-two."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I don't really remember my first couple of birthdays, but ever since I've been counting, yes, I'm pretty sure."

"I don't think of you as being that old."
"Well, I don't feel that old."
"Wow, that's just eight away from forty."
(OK, that is the worst one. lol I am aware of 32's proximity to 40. So, let's just leave that one unsaid.)

"I open up the front door, open up the front door. And I always think I never know what tomorrow has in store..."

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

An Imaginary Girlfriend

Well, I suppose it was only a matter of time. Now, you can have an imaginary girlfriend. (That is, if you don't already. *cough cough*)

Check this out from their site: "Tired of your friends and family telling you to get a girlfriend? Want to make that certain someone a little jealous? Need a confidence boost? Just feeling lonely sometimes?" Hilarity! Well, it's only $45 to have a girlfriend for 2 months, not that I've researched it too throughly.

You gotta read some of the stuff on this site. It's really funny, but at the same time, it's really sad to think someone would actually do it. And even sadder that Carrie has no more openings. What? They also have openings for ladies who will send in pictures or write love letters.

Why do I have a feeling at least one of my friends is getting really excited reading this? I guess this would appeal to the same crowd who purchased the Girlfriend's Lap Pillow.

"And I couldn't tell, why everyone here was doing me like they do. But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how, to get it back to good..."

Nocturnal Phantasms #205A-B

COMMENT CHANGES: I have used a couple of hacks to change the comments a little bit. Now, you should be able to see previous comments to a post on the same page that you are typing yours. I was going to go back to Haloscan, but apparently they delete old comments after a certain period of time, if you have a free account. I also added a recent comments thing to the sidebar, mostly for my benefit, so that if someone comments on a post from awhile back, I will see it there. To view the comment from there, click on the entry title. Let me know how you like it. I know it's past time for a template change, but I don't know when I'll get around to that.

Now, on with the dreams... I had both of these Friday night, I think:

Dream #1 (The Money Jar)
I dreamed that I was at church. Our preacher announced that he had been saving up money in this glass jug, and to celebrate 100 years and his 8th anniversary there (makes no sense, I know), he was giving the money, which came out to $800,000, to a widow at our church. Well this lady typically sits a couple of pews in front of me, which is exactly how we were sitting in the dream. So he brough the jug back to where she was sitting. She then promptly gets up and drags it back to me and says, "Here, maybe you can find yourself a wife with this." LOL What the crap kind of dream is that?

Dream #2 (Bone Versus The Volcano)
The same night, I dreamed I was Tom Hanks in "Joe Versus The Volcano." Or actually, I guess I was me in Tom Hanks' place. I remember we get shot out of the volcano and I'm there just kinda floating along with Meg, you know. I remember that she saw a shark, but somehow we got away. Then, in the distance, we see the space shuttle lifting off. At the same time, there are suddenly lots of people around and we are near land. Everyone is talking about how no one was even covering the launch, because the news was all about us and the volcano. I wonder if Meg has ever had the same dream, except with me in the place of Tom Hanks.

"Oh, your reputation's so golden. You're never lonely, and you're never home. I know you've been talkin' 'bout leavin'. You've lost all your feeling for this town..."

Monday, February 07, 2005

Puppies for sale or rent free

I went by my sister's this afternoon and got to see some of the puppies. They still don't have their eyes open. I took a couple of pics. Remember, they have nine... or ten. Don't you want one? Or two?

Look at his little tongue!!! Posted by Hello

Don't you want one? Posted by Hello

"Tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find, and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?"

The good, the ads, & the ugly

I think the worst part about being a dog catcher would be not being able to eat while you were driving around in the truck all day. I mean, how could you? I wouldn't be able to eat a snack or grab a quick bite of lunch on the road, because all I'd be thinking about is how I've been handling dogs all day and that even if I thoroughly washed my hands, there's gotta be "dog" all over the steering wheel and the seat from the last guy who drove the truck, not to mention the hair, and the smell.

And now it's time for the much-anticipated Bone's Super Bowl review:

The commercials
I thought overall the commercials were bad, compared to every previous year I can remember. Keep in mind that I missed the entire first quarter of the game, so I didn't see those commercials, unless they were repeated. I thought the Bud commercials were stupid, the talking bird on the bar, and the "Look what you've started" with the animals waiting in line. Good job! It was like they were marketing to 12 year old kids, or extremely inebriated 50-year-old men. (What's that? Oh. Well, in that case...)

Here are my top five (with my own personally-assigned names):
1. Ford Mustang ("Winter Convertible") - It was cool, even though they showed it like back-to-back around halftime. I want one!!!
2. Ameriquest ("Spaghetti Cat") - Made me laugh harder than any, for some reason.
3. Bud ("Soldier Thank You")- That was nice.
4. Degree ("Mama's Boy") - Just because it made me (and apparently several other people) think of Kyle.
5. Lays ("Over The Fence")- Throw MC Hammer into a commercial, and you know I'll like it.

Honorable mention: The NFL Network's "Tomorrow" ad. It was cool to see a new Batman movie coming out, too. Looking forward to that, even though I have no clue who that dude is that's playing Batman.

Usually, I don't even watch much of the halftime show, but I actually watched the whole thing this year. I thought it was good. Not quite up to par with his appearance on The Chris Farley Show, but still good. Of course, I like the Beatles, so that helped. "Thank you, Super Bowl!" That was great. He has just always seemed a bit odd in interviews and such. I used to think it was just an act, but I don't think that anymore. He never really developed that smooth interview/media persona, but it's actually kinda cool. Very atypical. Hard to see Paul getting old, though. I was actually hoping Michael Jackson would make a cameo and they'd sing "Say Say Say" or "The Girl Is Mine" together. That would've been cool.

The game
I was glad the Patriots won. Once they tied it at 7-7 just before halftime, I never really thought the Eagles would win. Philly's clock management in the last five minutes of the game was horrible. Inexcusable. It's the frickin' Super Bowl, for crying out loud. They wasted a ton of precious time on their last touchdown drive. McNabb will definitely have the "can't win the big one" stigma attached to him even moreso now. The three interceptions killed them. Meanwhile, the Pats are just great. That is the best-coached team in the league, by far. Did you see the way they had that onside kick return set up? It was perfect! Absolutely perfect. No Eagle got within five yards of the ball. So, yes, it was a 3 point game, but honestly, it never really seemed like the Patriots were in danger of losing.

Oh, and it was nice to hear this about two hundred times over the past few weeks: "The Dallas Cowboys are the only other team in history to win three Super Bowls in four years." That's right! And don't forget it. Ah, the glory days.

And lastly, a memo to Fox: Thanks for the Joe Buck. I really didn't get enough of him in the baseball playoffs and the World Series. Perhaps he could become a judge on American Idol or something. I can't get enough. Please, if you're going to keep outbidding the real networks for the major events, hire someone else, at least for football. Ugh.

"It won't be the first heart that you break. It won't be the last beautiful girl. The one that you wrecked, won't take you back, if you were the last beautiful girl in the world..."

Free Association

(from Unconscious Mutterings)

Shelter:: storm
Karate Kid:: Daniel-son
Andrew:: Jackson
Rib:: cage
Push it:: push it, good
Creep:: Eddie Haskell
Chainlink:: fence
Squash:: cucumber
No mercy:: no doubt
Superhero:: I can't stand to fly

"The cards are on the table, Hallmark at it's best, Valentines and anniversaries, forever yours and all the rest. I'm sortin' thru these memories, still searchin' for a clue, how the cards are on the table, and he's holdin' you..."

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Results: Super Bowl Poll

OK, I've taken the Super Bowl Poll off the sidebar, since the big game is tomorrow. Here are the results:

What do you think about this year's Super Bowl? (67 total votes)
- The Patriots will win (34%)
- I just want to see the commercials (24%)
- I hope Paul McCartney doesn't have a wardrobe malfunction (22%)
- The Eagles will win (15%)
- I'm more interested in the Lingerie Bowl (4%)

Thanks to all who voted, and enjoy the game. Remember, a 30 second commercial during the game costs $2.4 million, or $80,000 per second. I've got to think of an idea for the next poll. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

My Super Bowl pick? Ummm... Patriots 27-16.

"Hurry, take me to the Mardi Gras, in the city of my dreams. You can legalize your lows. You can wear your summer clothes, in New Orleans..."

Friday, February 04, 2005

Larry and Lyle

The following story is true. Names have been changed for unclear reasons. The names used in this story are nothing close to the people's real names (or very similar... whichever). Any resemblance to real life characters, locations, and situations is strictly intentional.

Last night, I went to shoot pool. Afterwards, a friend (we'll call him Lyle) and I went to a local restaurant (we'll call it Hogan's) to eat. Upon entering, the hostess asked where we would like to sit, and Lyle pointed to a waitress (let's call her Shannon). Well, Lyle has a Sally Struthers-sized crush on Shannon, and has been trying to hook up with her for awhile. Unfortunately, Shannon currently lives with her other boyfriend (we'll call him Larry).

Well, evidently, the hostess knew who Larry was, but did not know what he looked like, because it was at this time that she asked Lyle, "Are you Larry?" Lyle quickly responded, "No, I'm Kyle Lyle." For some reason, I (let's call me um... Stone) found this extremely funny. I turned towards the wall to hide my laughter. When Shannon came around to take our order, I tried to get Lyle to tell her that the hostess thought Lyle was Larry, but Lyle thought that would not be a good idea, apparently.

Check back frequently for more tales of Larry, Shannon, and Lyle (aka The Hogan's Family).

"Do you wanna be a poet and write? Do you wanna be an actor up in lights? Do you wanna be a soldier, and fight for love?"

Friday Q

Perpetually in search of the perfect meme... I found this one today and liked the topic.

FQ TOPIC: Sleepy

FQ1: On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night? Do you think that's a good number?
Well, during the week, I probably get between five and six hours per night (usually closer to five). No, I do not think that is a good number. It was a good number when I was 21 and could do it every night with seemingly no consequence. My body does not handle it as well these days, and I sometimes nap in the afternoons.

FQ2: Have you any sleep essentials? A nightlight or teddy bear perhaps? Must the door and closet be either closed or open?
Yes. No comment. The door must be closed and the closet doors must be closed as well. Yes, I will get out of bed and close them if I see they are even slightly open. (You down with OCD? Yeah, you know me...) I also have to check the front and back doors right before bed to make sure they are locked. I usually have the TV on and set the sleep timer on it. And I have to fix a glass of ice water and keep beside the bed, in case I get thirsty. What is it about sleep that makes me so thirsty?

FQ3: What do you wear to bed? What color are your sheets? How many pillows under your head?
Well, during colder weather, I wear preheated sleep pants and (usually long sleeved) t-shirt. In warmer weather, usually just boxers. My sheets are navy blue. I have two pillows, but I usually keep them side-by-side, not stacked. I don't need much pillow, only a little.

"And I guess I've changed, but yeah, couldn't you, given all we've been thru? Heaven knows, I've been around and around. I guess I'll strain, well how about that. Here's my life, here's a doorstep. Well, heaven knows I've been around and around..."

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Class of 22

Emmitt Smith Retires As NFL's All-Time Leading Rusher

Well, the glory days of the Cowboys have been over for several years now. And the last of the great ones rode off into the sunset today when Emmitt Smith announced his retirement. Injuries, more than anything, contributed to the decline of the Cowboys. Emmitt watched as his teammates, Aikman, Irvin, Moose, Novacek, all saw their careers cut short by injuries. He was the only one of the group able to leave on his own terms. By the time he left the Cowboys for Arizona a couple of years ago, there was almost no one left from those championship teams of the 1990's, and the team was just a shell of what it once was.

The numbers speak for themselves. More rushing yards, carries, and rushing touchdowns than anyone in NFL history. It was neat to watch today, the announcement, and all the highlights and commentary on Emmitt. It was fitting that he retired as a Cowboy, because that's what he was, even after he left. He'll always be a Cowboy. I never remember any negative off the field incident involving Emmitt. So it came as no surprise today that he left the game the same way he played it, the same way he always carried himself, on and off the field, with class and style.

NY Times

"I'll take my records. You can have your books. I'm sorry I never read them, but it says so much about us. Always trying to make love out of care. The perfect recipe, but something wasn't there..."

Pop in some Verdi, and rip the knob off!

Who am I, Bob Cobb?
OK, you already know I like Milli Vanilli, MC Hammer, and Wham! (What, you didn't know about that one? Oh well, may as well get it all out now.) So the following will either further the strange impression you have of me, or it will leave you saying, "Why did it take you so long?"

I am the Human Jukebox. That is one of the many nicknames given me over the years. I assume it comes from my propensity to often be singing or humming random songs. I also enjoy a wide variety of music, but one genre that I just never got into was classical music. Until now. I don't know why, but lately I have been flipping around the non-profit radio stations, you know around 87-89 on the FM dial. So last night after church, I went to Wal-Mart to buy a new can opener, and also ended up buying a 4 disc set of classical music. I can't explain it. It's just so powerful and moving. It's amazing how the music can say so much with no words.

So... do you think I'm weird? lol

Seinfeld Radio?
Also while surfing the low-end stations last night, the voice of George Costanza caught my attention. At first, I thought it was a promo for the show, or some people will play a little comedy bit as a bumper coming out of a commercial break. But I soon realized, it was an entire episode, The Secret Code, to be exact. It was on 88.7. I think maybe they were just simulcasting the local Fox television affiliate, but I'm not sure.

Me: "Have you talked to ______?"
K: "Well, I tried calling her today, but the guy who answered said she wasn't there."

Me: "Is that Blind Bart?"
K: "No, it's Steve Vai."
Me: "Oh, well I could barely hear it, but it kinda sounded like Kevin singing."

A: "That's weird, 3 guys and one girl."
Me: "Nah. That's usually about the ratio I find myself in."

J: "We should go fishing. Wouldn't that be fun?"
Me: "Yeah."
J: "Except I don't really like to touch the bait. Or the fish."
Me: "Well, that could pose a problem."

"Misty sunrise in my hometown, rows of cotton 'bout knee high. Mrs. Baker down the dirt road, still got clothes out on the line..."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

My town

I thought I would enlighten you all today with a brief description of my hometown. Well, I call it my hometown, because that is where I live and have lived for the past 26 years. I have conveniently divided my town into geographical regions, with descriptions of each:

This is the agricultural section of town, including the farmer's Co-op and the sale barn, where cattle sales are held every Wednesday. (Trust me, it's a major event around here.) Northside features a few restaurants, including a catfish place and the "other" steakhouse. Other features include the fairly new health department and the new jail. Northside also includes the nicest lodging accomodations in the city, in the form of the Days Inn. Not a highly populated area, Northside is mostly commerce and agriculture.

The highlight of Eastside is definitely the new Wal-Mart Supercenter. Rising like a Phoenix out of Arizona, this retail metropolis lights up the eastern sky every night. Eastside is the fastest growing area of the city. It features most of the restaurants in town, including the ever-popular Western Sirloin steak house and several fast food hot spots. There is a Sears here, a Video Gallery, a Tractor Supply, and a drug store. The area is also sprinkled with auto parts stores, auto repair centers, and body shops. A very nice new subdivision is being built in Eastside as well. It's called Knots Landing, I think. No, it's called something Landing or Acres or Hills or Pines. You know, they all have names like that.

This is where I live, in a quaint apartment just a few blocks from the busy city square. The downtown area includes the town square, courthouse, City Hall, and the Tin Lizzies. (Oops, sorry. Got carried away.) When I was very young, the teenagers of that time would cruise around the town square bumper-to-bumper, every Friday and Saturday night. The most popular eating establishment in the downtown area is the popular Nesmith's Hamburger joint. During the day, shoppers may enjoy several shops around the town square, but most everything downtown closes around 5:00 or 6:00 PM.

Highlights of the midtown area include the hospital, local Ford dealership, and the fire department. The hospital area also includes a nursing home, and several doctor's offices. The addition of the all-new location of Los Charros Mexican Restaurant has really revitalized this area. The city pool is also here, along with several apartments and rental houses. Other restaurants in this area include the Cardinal (formerlyl Sonic) drive-in and a barbecue place.

Historical district
Includes the oldest weekly newspaper in Alabama, the old Star theater, old Post Office, and the former (and original) location of Piggly Wiggly. It also contains the Emergency Management Agency, and the town's only radio station, a low power FM. The historical district is not very large, because what little historical remains there are, no one really seems to care about.

School district
This includes the elementary, middle, and high schools, of course. You can pack a picnic or take a quiet stroll thru nature in the mini park, also located here. There are lots of homes in this area, as well. The school district also includes the county's public library and it's largest arena, the Coliseum (kinda like Rome, except not).

This includes the Alexander Park, with four ball fields, several practice fields, four poorly maintained tennis courts, and the recreation center. Softball, baseball, t-ball, soccer, and youth basketball games are played in this area. As much of the activity and industry has grown up on the east side of town, Westside has been in decline. The old putt-putt place is located here. Westside was also home to the now-defunct radio station, the former America's Best Country, 103.1.

Southside is the largest geographical region of the town (according to my very unofficial calculations), but is mostly a residential area. There are a few convenience stores, a play school, and a couple of auto repair shops here, and... not much else.

Outskirts of town
Oh, I guess I can't forget a couple of things we claim are actually just a bit outside the city limits, like the quarter-mile dirt track and the 18 hole golf course (which is actually pretty nice). There's also the national forest just a couple of miles south of town.

That's about it, I guess. I hope you enjoyed my little tour. Now you will probably be able to understand why I usually go to Decatur, Huntsville, or Nashville on the weekend :-) Maybe I should become a tourism director or realtor or something.

"Come Sunday morning service at the Church of Christ. There ain't an empty seat there to be found. And this is my town. Where I was born, where I was raised, where I keep all my yesterdays..."

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Emergency 911

Well there are a few emergencies of varying degrees going on around here...

My sister and her husband have nine newly born puppies they are trying to give away. They were just born a few days ago. They are half blue heeler, and half yellow lab (they think). So, if you live in the area and would like one, then you can IM me using the screen name on my profile or email me. I'm gonna try to take a picture of them and post it, hoping maybe that will persuade someone ;-) I am just afraid if they don't find a home, they will wander out in the road and get run over.

Emergency #2
For the first time that I can ever remember, AOL Instant Messenger appears to be down tonight. I talked to a couple of other people who were having problems as well. So if this isn't rectified soon, I fully expect a state of emergency to be declared, because we just can't have this. I mean, before long people will be forced to go out and meet other people face to face, or call each other on the telephone. No, no, all is well. Yahoo is still working, and we still have text messaging. Whew!

Emergency #3
Disaster was narrowly averted on the west side tonight. Local blogger/resident Bone was preparing dinner when his can opener completely broke and fell apart as he was opening the green beans. With the rest of the meal near completion, time was of the utmost importance. Being the resourceful former Webelo dropout he is (or isn't, whichever), Bone was able to pry the can open in near-MacGyver-like fashion, using only a dull butter knife and his keen survival instinct. Disaster was averted, dinner was served, but shudder to think, what might have happened.

That's it for now. Tune in tomorrow for another exiciting edition of "Moulton, 35650."

"Let me be the one you call. If you jump, I'll break your fall. If you want, I'll fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash, then crash and burn you're not alone..."

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Another semi-fun quiz thing. Very accurate, because I really liked that song...

100 Years by Five for Fighting

"Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live"

2004 was about thinking and reflecting - but isn't every year?