Saturday, May 01, 2004

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations...

Nothing like spending a Saturday night home alone, or even better a whole day with little or no human contact, to make you reevaluate your life.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm ready for the whole thing again. I want it all. I'm talking unexpected pop-ins. Assumed dates every weekend night. Call just to say you miss each other. Wear clothes she buys for you. Spend so much time together you begin to sound alike, and think alike. Ask her permission to go to the game without her. One month anniversaries. Two month anniversaries. Less time with the guys. Six month anniversaries. Kiss her anytime I want. I love you the most. I want her to bug me. I want her to get on my nerves. I want to look into those eyes and know. No doubts. No fears. I want to love all her imperfections and all her quirks. I want to be the one she comes to when she's happy, when she's sad, when she's crying, when she's laughing, when she has good news, or bad news. Dinner with my parents. Vacation with her parents. Picking out sappy birthday cards. Holidays together. I want to roll my eyes when a love song comes on the radio and she turns up the volume, and act like I don't like it. That's what I want. Yeah.

I've been thinking about relationships a lot today. I learned today that one of my female friends was lied to and treated like crap by a guy recently. She is the most wonderful girl you would ever want to meet. She's cute, sweet, honest, fun, caring, kind, and I absolutely think the world of her. I think to myself, I would give anything to find someone like that. And yet, someone who had her heart didn't value it at all. Took it for granted. Did her wrong. Well, I don't know if you're reading this, but if you are, I hope love finds you. You deserve the most wonderful, carefree, loving, passionate relationship the world has ever known ;-)

Why do people who care so much about each other sometimes treat each other as if they don't care? Why do people who have so much to lose act as if they have nothing to lose? I've done it, to some degree. I'm sure most have. Maybe it's pride. Maybe it's simply that we're human. But there should be a higher standard once you're husband and wife, a higher level of maturity and behavior. I'll never understand how you could look into the eyes of someone who has committed her whole life to you and do anything to hurt her. Someone who depends on you for so much. Someone who has supported you, put up with you, and who you depend on for so much as well. Out of 3 billion men in the world, she has chosen to spend her life with you. Think about that for a minute before you ignore her, or yell at her, or argue with her. Love her. Cherish her. Be thankful you have her. I hope that's what I'll do... someday.

Sorry no funny today. That's all I got. All of my darkest fears, and everything I'm capable of. That's me. I know, I know... "Good luck with all that." :-)

"When you get home she'll start to cry. When she says I'm sorry say so am I. And look into those eyes so deep in love, and drink it up. Cos that's the good stuff..."

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