The weekend that was...

If you know what it means to 'quone' someone, then this blog is definitely for you...

The Kentucky Derby? I couldn't care less. I'd rather cover my body with a temporary paralysis drug and recreate that scene in the tub from "What Lies Beneath." The TV coverage is like 90 minutes or 2 hours, I forget. You have like an hour pre-race coverage, interviewing the owners, trainers, and jockeys. It's a good thing the horses can't talk. Then the race is like 2 minutes. That's it. And I thought the NASCAR prerace was outrageous. At least the races last a few hours. And if I hear one more person say "mint julep," I'm gonna run thru the streets of town like that little guy in the Nintendo game, Commando. Just kidding, CIA. Geez, you guys are soooo sensitive.

Anytime I think of horses, I can't help but remember Seinfeld's bit on "I'm Telling You For The Last Time." To paraphrase: I don't even think the horses know they're racing. I tell you one thing they don't know. They don't know that should they fall and break their leg, we're gonna blow their brains out. I think they're missing that little nugget of information. If they knew that, you'd see some might careful steppin' out there. "Easy, fellas. You win, I'll place. It's all the same oat bag."

It was a mixed bag for me over the weekend. The Reds have suddenly faded faster than Roseanne Barr's career. Good to see J Gord win the race in California yesterday. And it was definitely nice to see the Spurs beat the Lakers. Don't count out Timmah! and the Duncan-aires.

Oh man, while half-asleep in the wee hours of Sunday morning, there was an SNL rerun on TV. And this skit was on with Tim Meadows as Oprah, and Goat Boy was on there with another Goat Boy. The caption was like, "Goat Boy has just learned that Goat Boy 2 is his brother." ROFL They were hugging and making goat noises. I don't know if it was because it was 3 AM or what, but I was rolling. "Like flaming globes of Sigmund. Like flaming globes!"

Wednesday will be the one-year anniversary of my first blog entry. Should do something special. But what? Maybe just ask for comments or something. Any ideas?

Random funny:
"Two dollars?"
"Yeah, that's like a hundred dollars in Mexico."

"While you were sleepin', I was listening to the radio and wonderin' what you're thinkin' when, it came to mind that I didn't care. And I thought, well if it's over, I had better end it quick before I lose my nerve. Are you listening? Can you hear me?"