Six Years Later

Today marks six years since the final ep of Seinfeld was originally aired, the infamous Finale, on May 14, 1998. I guess the gang is out of prison now. I wonder what they are doing. For no matter what the skeptics say, we all know those characters really existed.

Perhaps Kramer has gone back to concentrating on Kramerica Industries, with CEO Darren at the helm and chicken wire-o-plenty. Or maybe he has settled his second strike at H&H Bagels. Perhaps Brandt-Leland is again looking for a young intern to work for free. Or maybe he's training roosters full-time now, winning big bucks at underground cockfights.

What about Jerry? Is he still doing stand-up, or did he finally take George and Kramer's advice and enter the Bloomingdale's executive training program? Maybe he has retired and moved to Florida to be near his parents and sell Wizards at discount rates. Or is he mentoring Banya full-time now?

Then there's Elaine. Are her and Puddy still dating off and on, or did they finally rock that drink machine back and forth enough times that it finally fell over? Is she still churning out that pointless drivel at J. Peterman? And what about George? Surely, he hasn't kept his job at Kruger Industrial Smoothing for the past six years. Then again, he seemed to fit in perfectly with the incompetent Kruger. Does he still see the Rosses from time to time? He's probably sitting on the sofa in his underwear taking big bites out of a battery-sized block of cheese.

And what about me, us, the fans? Most of us are out of therapy now, I think it's safe to say. Six years later, and we still trudge along, clinging to syndicated reruns. We look forward with great anticipation to the November release of the DVD, the light at the end of the tunnel, the white whale. Some sad fans still use George's "Believe It Or Not" answering machine message on their phone. Not that there's anythinig wrong with that. Meanwhile at night, I dream of successful ricksha businesses, profit-making deposit bottle schemes, and of course, Sue Ellen Mishke, the braless wonder, the O'Henry candy bar heiress. As Jackie Chiles might say, voluptuous, sensuous, delicious!

"For what it's worth, it was worth all the while. It's something unpredictable, but in the end there's right. I hope you had the time of your life..."