Friday, July 30, 2004

In The News

I really enjoy posting these news stories and then trying to come up with a humorous little line about each one, even though I'm sure what I come up with is probably not nearly as funny to you as it is to me here in my brain.

Miss America Pageant Eliminates Talent Competition

Well, I'm not even going to watch it if there's no talent portion. What? I am reminded of a Seinfeld, when Jerry dates Miss Rhode Island. Her talent is magic with some birds. So the night before at the hotel, some birds are keep Jerry and George awake, so he gets up and pours some water on them and it kills them.

Foreign Strippers Must Bare All To Enter Canada

And there we have it, ladies and gentlemen, the latest buzz-word for 2004: stripper-immigrants. Wow!

Woman Trashes Car She Thought Was Her Husband's

Oops! And you thought you had a psycho on your hands.

Thong Wearers Arrested At Wal-Mart

See? That right there is why I don't like thongs.

"If we can't find a way out of these problems, then maybe we don't need this. Standing face to face, enemies at war, we build defenses, and secret hiding places. I might need you to hold me tonight. I might need you to make it all right. I might need you to make the first stand, because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man..."

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