Showing posts with label 24. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 24. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

That time my nipple was on fire

Welcome to the Spring of Bone. The season of my shaven head, if you will. The past few days have been a whirlwind. Thursday was the Kenny Chesney concert. Saturday morning I ran a 10K. And Saturday evening, I had another engagement. Three events in three days! That's a lot, compared to my usual number of zero. Not to mention the season finales of The Office and 24. Plus, Michael coming out of a year-long coma on General Hospital. Whew! I think I need a weekend off to decompress.

Let us begin with the concert: the Kenny Chesney Sun City Carnival Tour. It was held at the Oak Mountain Amphitheatre in Birmingham, a perfect venue for an outdoor concert on a gorgeous Alabama night. It wound up just being the Darryls and me. Jamie was supposed to go, but she got two tickets from a radio station and ditched us. Can't really blame her, considering our tickets were on row V in the very last section. Not bad for 95 bucks. I'm pretty sure it was the worst seat I've ever had at a concert, except for that one year at June Jam when the actual curvature of the Earth itself prevented us from seeing most of the stage.

The opening acts were Lady Antebellum--who we missed because we were stuck in traffic--and Miranda Lambert--who we unfortunately did not miss. She was not very good. There was one highlight, however, when she brought Blake Shelton on stage and he sang a song. I texted my sister, "Blake Shelton just came out!" Well, I noticed she didn't reply for awhile. She told me later she forgot I was at the concert and so when she got my text all she could think was, "Nuh uh! I thought he was dating Miranda Lambert!"

Kenny's part of the show was excellent. He sang about twenty songs. (I have the set list if you'd like. I texted it to myself.) I don't think I realized how many hits he's had until we were on our way home and started naming off at least as many songs that he hadn't sang.

At one point during the show, LJ pulled out a disposable camera, aimed it in the general direction of the figure we thought was most likely Kenny Chesney, and started clicking. He asked me if I thought he'd be able to see anything in the pictures. Um no, not unless the word Hubble appears somewhere on the camera.

Saturday morning was my 10K race. That's 6.2 miles, which coincidentally, is just slightly farther than we were from Kenny Chesney. I got off to a terrible start, due largely to starting at the back and having to navigate the mass of bodies the first half mile. My one mile split was like eight and a half minutes. I picked it up from there and finished in 48:29, good for fifth in my age group. My time was fourteen seconds slower than last year, but that was kind of expected since I haven't been training as much. To have run a faster time would have been to cheat the very ideals of hard work, training and dedication. And also likely would have caused me to pass out and/or begin wretching.

Saturday night, I went to a dance recital, 'cause that's how I roll. I went to see Kywana Jr. in... umm... I keep forgetting the name of the program. Twelve Angry Men? No, there weren't that many men in it. The Princess Bride? Nope, no Andre The Giant. Dances With Wolves? No, but it was four hours long. Wait, I got it. Twelve Dancing Princesses! Yes, that's it. And it's even less exciting than the title would indicate, if that's possible.

Oh, I almost forgot! A bizarre thing did happen on the way to my race Saturday morning. My right nipple started burning. I mean, it was on fire! Have any of you ever had this problem? I examined it, but really couldn't tell much. I mean, what does it usually look like? I don't know. Anyway, that led to an odd, if not disturbing scene Saturday around lunchtime, as I stood shirtless in front of my bathroom mirror rubbing Neosporin on my nipples. I mean, if there is one microcosm I could give you to sum up my life, that's it right there.

You are currently experiencing the Spring of Bone...

"And I go back to watchin' summer fade into fall. Growin' up too fast and I do recall wishin' time would stop right in its tracks..."

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bone snores on

Hello, you've reached Bone's blog. Bone is unable to blog right now because, well, it's January. You know the drill.

BEEP!


I tried to ward off the Januarys this year. I really did. The trip to New Orleans helped, for a few days. But alas, the Januarys have returned, as they invariably do.

Jan. You. Wary.

It gets dark too early for me to golf. College football is over. The Hills is over. And I didn't get a New Year's kiss for the second year in a row. But mostly, The Hills is over.

Plus, it's freaking cold. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. And all I want to do after work is come home and crawl under the covers where it's warm. I have, however, been running most any day that the temperature gets above forty. That's because I somehow managed to gain eight pounds over the holidays. And I would like to maintain my 33 waist so that I don't have to start buying 34's, rubbing off the 34 and writing in 33.

A typical January day for me goes something like this: Work. Come home. Put on pajama pants. Crawl into bed or lie on the couch and watch TV or a DVD. Go running. Shower. Fix supper. Crawl back into bed or lie on the couch and watch TV or a DVD.

How is that different from my routine the rest of the year? Well I'm glad you asked. My typical non-January day goes something like this: (And to make it easier for you, I've bolded any significant differences.) Work. Come home. Lounge in boxer shorts. Get on the computer. Go running. Shower. Fix supper. Get back on the computer.

So as you can see, it's quite different. I have a very full life. It's very full. Last night alone, I watched four episodes of The Office. I also used my iTunes gift card to purchase the timeless classic "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepa. I know, I couldn't believe I didn't already have it either!

The return of 24 has helped a little to ease the discontent of my winter. Jack Bauer is back. And having Tony Almeida return from being presumed dead was an unexpected bonus this season. I kinda miss doing my 24 recaps. I thought of so many hilarious (to me) asides while watching this week. Maybe I'll start live blogging it. Then again, that's kinda tough to do without a laptop, and without leaving the couch.

But don't cry for me. For January is but February's eve. And February brings Groundhog Day, my birthday and of course, Valentine's Day. No, I don't like Valentine's Day but it's something to blog about at least. Besides, not having a date on New Year's Eve is kind of a bummer. Not having a date on Valentine's Day is almost a relief.

Sure, February is still cold, but it's short. It's only like twenty days or something. After that is March (you know, in case you forgot the order of the months). And from there, it shant be long until I have warmth, I have fun, I have seasons in the sun.

For now, January doth toil on. I think it's safe to say that I would hibernate the entire month of January, if I were a bear. Also if I didn't have to pee every three to eight hours.

"All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray. I've been for a walk on a winter's day. I'd be safe and warm, if I was in L.A."

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

24 Recap: 5/21/07

Whoever found my blog searching for Ricky Shroder shirtless, well, I'm sending a CTU field team after you.

Recapping the two-hour season finale, also known as Day Six: 4:00 AM - 6:00 PM...

Ricky takes Josh by chopper to a nice spot on the beach, as directed by Jack's father. Ricky assures Josh he won't let anything happen to him. Then appears to staple a tracking device into Josh's arm. Don't worry, we do this to every person we're about to trade to some sociopath for a piece of circuitry.

Meanwhile, Jack is in custody, being transported back to CTU. He gets on the phone and warns Karen that Jack's father has no intention of giving up the sub-circuit board (SCB) for Josh, and that she must stop the exchange. Karen tells Tom about the call, saying of Jack, "He's been more right than we have today." Now that you mention it! Tom says he will "look the other way" if Karen decides to do something. She calls Bill.

"What do you want me to do?" Bill asks.
"Whatever it takes," Karen replies. This dialogue was written by Mrs. Cooper's second grade class at Beverly Hills Elementary School. They won a contest. Actually, scratch that. I don't want to insult the second graders.

At la Casa Blanca, Daniels calls the Russian President to apologize. Hey, Yuri, you know that little we-already-destroyed-the-sub-circuit-board hoax we tried to pull over on you? April Fools! So whattya say we just let cold wars be bygones? Suvarov says he will continue towards military action unless the SCB is destroyed.

At CTU, Chloe continually looks like she's about to pass out. Nadia gets a call from Karen telling her she needs to be able to track the vehicle carrying Jack. A short while later, an oncoming car forces the SUV carrying Jack off the road. It's Bill! Jack and Bill subdue the two CTU agents and take off for the beach in Bill's truck.

At the beach, two men approach in a speedboat. One of them is Walid! Oh wait. Nevermind. It was hard to tell in the wetsuit. They come ashore. Ricky asks to see the SCB. When he opens the box, it explodes, knocking him down and bloodying his face. Jack and Bill arrive as the men take Josh onto the boat.

At some point, a man wanders into CTU. It turns out to be Milo's brother, Stuart, come to get Milo's body. Stuart tells Nadia that Milo talked about her a lot, then asks how he died. Nadia tells him Milo died a hero, saving her life. Then Stuart disappears, never to be heard from again. And THIS is a perfect microcosm of the entire season.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program of saving the world Josh from terrorists Jack's father.

Back at la Casa Blanca, Karen gets an "access denied" message on her computer. She knows she's been caught and calls Bill to thank him for his help. Then two men come to take her away.

Jack calls CTU to get help for Ricky. He tells Nadia he wants the location of every oil rig within a ten mile radius. Meanwhile, Chloe finally passes out, right in front of Morris' workstation.

End hour one...

Out at Decommissioned Oil Rig 417-B, Josh arrives. Cheng tells Jack's father a submarine will be there in thirty minutes to take them to China.

At CTU, Chloe is in Medical undergoing tests. Nadia finds a decommissioned oil platform owned by Jack's father's company six miles off the coast of Los Angeles.

When la Casa Blanca learns of the new information, one of Daniels' advisers recommends an air strike on the oil rig. Daniels orders in the F-18's. They will hit the rig in 30 mintues.

On the beach, Ricky is loaded into an ambulance. Jack tells Nadia the trauma team said Ricky will be blind in one eye, if not both. Nadia informs Jack of the air strike and orders him and Bill to return to CTU.

Jack eyes the chopper. Bill tells him to not even think about it.

Bill: "Look I realize he's your nephew-"
Jack: "I'm not gonna do something because he's my nephew. I'm gonna do something because he's an innocent kid who's been written off as some sort of acceptable loss. It's wrong."
Bill: "I'll fly." Apparently, being able to fly a helicopter is a prerequisite for working at CTU.

From the chopper, Jack calls CTU to ask for their satellite uplink. Nadia is hesitant, but Bill massages her verbally with, "This is the right thing to do."

At Rig 417-B, Cheng tells Jack's father a helicopter is approaching. De plane! De plane! Jack's father takes Josh and heads for the boat.

While the chopper hovers, Jack takes out of a couple of men on the rig, allowing Bill to land. Jack is also blowing up barrels left and right. Cheng gets knocked down by one of the exploding barrels. Bill apprehends Cheng and leads him to the chopper. Jack goes to look for Josh.

Down below, as Jack's father is untying the boat from the... thingy, Josh hits him over the head with an over-sized wrench, then grabs his gun and points it at him. Jack's father tells Josh to give him the gun. Josh explains, "As long as you're alive, me and my Mom will never be safe." Then, Josh shoots him!

Jack's father is wounded but not dead yet. Jack appears at the top of the stairs and orders Josh to lower his weapon, offering this nugget of wisdom: "You do not want to live with the pain of taking another person's life." Umm, Jack? Eh, nevermind.

With four minutes to go until the F-18's arrive, Jack orders Josh to go to the chopper. Jack holds a gun on his father, telling him he's going to pay for everything he's done today. Jack's father says Jack doesn't have time to carry
him to the chopper before the F-18's arrive.

With only two minutes until the airstrike, Jack heads upstairs, leaving his father to die on the rig. Even though there's a boat like five feet away. Bill takes off without Jack, with Josh yelling, "You can't leave my uncle!"

Bill swings by and Jack jumps from the rig, grabbing onto the rope hanging from the chopper just as the F-18's strike, sending the oil rig up in flames. It's only 5:36? The "Josh, I am your father" line has GOT to be coming!

As they fly towards shore, Jack lets go of the rope and drops in to the ocean below!

The end.

Relax, I'm only kidding. Although actually, that would have been a more suspenseful ending than what we had.

The last half hour is spent tying up a few of the many loose ends. When word comes in that the SCB was destroyed, Suvarov orders the immediate withdrawal of Russian troops. Tom convinces Daniels to let Karen go and resign with her reputation intact. He then gives Daniels the blackmail recording he was holding of Daniels and Lisa. I wondered what was going to happen with that. Oh right, nothing!

At CTU, Chloe tells Morris she's pregnant. Maybe they should rename the show A Baby Story and switch to TLC. Bill and Josh arrive with Cheng, who says, "My people will not abandon me like you abandoned Jack Bauer." Josh is reunited with his mother. Nadia asks about Jack. Bill tells her to let him go.

Cut to the Heller beach house. William Devane is just getting off the phone when Jack walks in. Jack says he wants his life back, including Audrey. Heller says Audrey will always be in danger if she's with Jack.

Jack demands to see Audrey. Heller leads him to her room. Audrey is lying in bed, apparently asleep. Jack tells her the best way for him to protect her is to let her go. Audrey never opens her eyes or says a word. Jack kisses her forehead then leaves.

The episode ends with Jack standing at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the swirling waters far below.

The good:
Jack and Bill teaming up and raiding the oil rig. It was nice to have them in the chopper. A little old school 24, if only for a few moments.

Josh shooting his grandfather. That was pretty cool.

The bad:
The anti-climatic last half hour. Snooze. It was almost as if the writers weren't sure if this were a season-finale or a series-finale, so they tied up a bunch of things quickly and clumsily, just in case.

The threat of a Russian military strike against a US base in Central Asia never

Very little classic Chloe, both tonight and all season. Helping Jack techno-geek Chloe: good. Pregant fainting Chloe: bad.

No cliffhangers for next year. (Yes, I'm aware I griped about the cliffhanger last season.) But really, what are we supposed to be looking forward to? Will Ricky be blind? Is Morris Chloe's baby daddy? Will Jack decide to plunge to his death, never knowing Josh was his son?

Worst quote:
"The component was fake. It blew." Oh, it blew alright. Wait, was he talking about the component, this episode, or the entire season?

Did you know...
April Fools Day was originally observed on March 31st.

In summary...
Overall, this season was a disappointment, even for the most avid 24 fans. There was far less action, less suspense, and fewer shockers than previous years. It's almost like they blew their wad in the first four hours.

There were too many broken storylines. And the practice of bringing back old characters for an episode or two for seemingly no reason whatsoever just added to the mediocrity of this season.

So we leave season six with President Palmer and Lisa unconscious, Ricky possibly blind, and having not heard in weeks from Sandra Palmer, Walid, Aaron Pierce, Martha Logan, Charles Logan, and on and on.

24 became one of the best on television by keeping viewers on the edge of their seats for sixty minutes each and every week. And while this season had its moments, it fell far short of that standard that had been set by the previous five.

"I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky. I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher..."

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

24 Recap: 5/14/07

OK, next week is the two-hour season finale! Which means this week is, uh, the pre-finale?

Recapping Day Six: 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM...

With CTU still under siege, a couple of the Chinese take Josh away. B3 (Billy Bob Brosnan) backhands Nadia as she tries to intervene. Was I the only one to yell "Booyah!" or other comparable expression of delight here?

As all CTU employees are being led to a holding cell, Jack plans an impromptu attack. He breaks out of line and takes out a guard, then shoots a couple of others. Even Morris gets in on the action, putting a sleeper hold on one guy. Who knew Morris had a background in the WWF! Seriously, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake would be proud.

Finally Jack chokes B3 then breaks his neck for good measure. Ricky arrives on the scene just in time to take out one guy who is about to shoot Nadia. To recap, Nadia is the reason Milo is dead. Jack, Ricky, and a field team take off down the tunnel after Josh.

Josh is brought to Cheng's Perpetually Moving Headquarters (CPMHQ). Jack's father calls and talks to Josh:

"I'm taking you away from this ungrateful country. Some place we can both start over."
"Where?" Tahiti? Bora Bora? I hear Kazakhstan's nice this time of year.
"China." Oooh, close! China: Land of Confucius, human rights, and Yao Ming.

As Cheng and his men are leaving to deliver Josh to Jack's father, Jack pops out of the tunnel and begins firing. He shatters the window of one of the cars, causing it to swerve and hit a pole. A chase on foot ensues.

Cheng leads Josh up some stairs to the rooftop. Josh breaks away from Cheng and runs onto a catwalk. To clarify, we're not talking Right Said Fred here. We're talking a narrow, elevated passageway between two buildings.

Jack catches up to Cheng, who has run out of bullets. Josh, who is hanging on for his life beneath the catwalk, yells for help. Jack rescues Josh, but Cheng escapes. Josh informs Jack that he talked to his grandfather.

Cheng calls Jack's father to tell him he lost Josh. Jack's father says no deal on the component. Oh, I get it. So Cheng is the banker. Jack's father is the contestant. Who is Howie Mandel? Morris? And where are the twenty-five hotties?

Outside the Family Inn, Tom is watching in agony as Lisa and Bishop fornicate. When they're done, Lisa goes to freshen up. Although personally, I think that's a lost cause. Bishop picks up her PDA, then gets a suspcious look on his face. He confronts Lisa. She breaks open a bottle of wine, literally, over his head. Bishop backhands her. Tom orders the federal agents to move in. They apprehend Bishop as he is choking Lisa.

At CTU, a man identifying himself as Ben Kram from Division tells Nadia he's been sent over to investigate what went wrong during the security breach. Well, Nadia was in charge, for starters.

Tom calls to tell Daniels that he got Bishop to send the fake information to his Russian contact saying that the U.S. had destroyed the sub-circuit board. He also informs Daniels that Lisa was injured and is unconscious. Daniels is upset. You don't hold hands with someone and then get over them just like that. I don't care how they treat you.

Daniels and Karen go into the Telepresence Suite and raise Russian President Suvarov on the horn. Daniels tells Suvarov that the sub-circuit board has been destroyed. But Suvarov calls his bluff, saying he had surveillance set up on Bishop, so he knows exactly what went down.

Suvarov says if the U.S. hasn't recovered the sub-circuit board within two hours, the Russians will take military action. Daniels remarks to Karen, "We're about to go to war over a piece of circuitry." Exactly! Now do you see why it's so hard for us to get excited over this season? Whatever happened to suitcase nukes, nerve gas, and Chloe? Ah, the good ol' days.

On his way back to the White House, Tom gets a call from Jack's father. You know, because Tom's in his five. He asks to speak to the Vice President. Jack's father tells Daniels he wants his grandson and clear passage to the country of his choice in exchange for the sub-circuit board.

Again, deal or no deal? Karen says no deal, calling Jack's father a sociopath who can't be trusted. But Tom says it's a risk worth taking.

Out at the location formerly known as Cheng's Perpetually Moving Headquarters, Jack calls Marilyn and lets her talk to Josh. Then as he is leading Josh to a car which will take him to CTU, an agent tells Jack he has a call.

When Jack goes to take the call, Ricky grabs Josh and leads him to a waiting helicopter. Josh is yelling, "Uncle Jack!" Can you imagine if Jack Bauer was your uncle? Trouble with that bully at school? Just tell Uncle Jack. Suddenly, the bully just stops showing up for class. Calls are made to his house, but his parents don't answer either. Jack tries to get to Josh, but is restrained by several CTU agents. Ricky and Josh board the helicopter.

The good:
Morris putting one of the Chinese in a sleeper hold.

Nadia and Lisa getting backhanded, at different times and by different men.

More action this week. Still, at the end, I pictured Jack running and latching on to the helicopter skids as it took off. That would have been slightly more exciting, don't you think?

The bad:
The episode was too predictable. There were no surprises, except for maybe Jack's father calling Tom and making the offer to the Vice President.

Virtually no Chloe, again.

Best quote:
"And... finally. We're done."

Said by Tom, as he watches Lisa and Bishop finish up their business. Based on the circumstances and the way he said it, I found this to be one of the funniest 24 lines ever.

Did you know...
In 1986, Brutus Beefcake and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine lost the WWF Tag Team Title to the British Bulldogs at Wrestlemania 2.

Predictions:
Despite saving the country at least four times today, Jack will have to break out of Holding and/or go against the oval office to save the day one more time.

In a touching season-ending scene, wearing a Darth Vader Mask/Voice Changer, Jack confesses to a frightened Josh, "Josh, I am your father."

Questions:
Is Ben Kram legit? I mean, he got from Division, wherever that is, to CTU in like an hour from the time the breach occurred, at 3:30 in the morning. Not to mention the suspicion of bringing a new character in the next to last week of the season. Hmm...

Why in the world does Nadia have such a huge role this season, while Chloe has been virtually just part of the scenery in several episodes?

Why was Cheng so averse to having casualties at CTU?

"Yeah, on the catwalk, on the catwalk. Yeah, I shake my little tush on the catwalk..."

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

24 Recap: 5/7/07

Sunday was Pablo's second birthday. At least, it marked two years since I brought him home from that great Betta haven known as Wal-Mart. I'm thrilled to say my little pal is eating again everyday and seems to be doing fine.

OK, here's what we know... Last week may very well have been the worst episode of 24 ever. Nevertheless, with my OCD, nothing short of Keanu Reeves himself joining CTU will stop me from finishing out the season. Besides, with only three weeks remaining, things have got to get better... right?

Recapping Day Six: 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM...

Nadia, who is becoming more incompetent by the second, informs Jack that Heller has filed a restraining order to keep him away from Audrey. Jack asks Nadia to let him go so that he can help try and find Cheng, but she refuses. You know, because keeping Jack in Holding makes the show sooo much more exciting. Nadia returns to the main CTU floor thingy and sends out a field team led by Ricky.

At Cheng's Perpetually Moving Headquarters (CPMHQ), Cheng is planning an attack, although we're not told where. And everyone is speaking in Chinese, with English subtitles! This is like a Jackie Chan movie, except without the action and the witty black guy.

At CTU's Extended Stay lounge, Marilyn and Josh--aka JoshLyn--are kicking back watching news coverage of the nuclear explosion. 12,000 are dead. Josh is angry his father was involved, and says he wishes he was never a part of this sick family. Uh, yeah, good luck finding help with that one in the parenting handbooks.

Chloe comes in and tells Marilyn that Audrey is still alive. OK, we found this out, what, four hours ago? You're just now telling Marilyn? Oh that's right, they forgot to write Marilyn into the show for the past six weeks. Oops! Marilyn goes to check on Jack and tells him she will be there for him when all this is over.

At the White House, Tom tells Lisa they've uploaded fake information to her PDA that will make it look like the sub-circuit board was destroyed. They want Lisa to go see her Russian spy boytoy at the Family Inn, then find an excuse to leave the room so that he will snoop thru her PDA. Lisa calls to set up another meeting.

CTU teams arrive at Bloomfield, but there is no sign of Cheng. We see Cheng at CPMHQ, telling his #1 guy--who looks kinda like a cross between a young Billy Bob Thornton and Pierce Brosnan--that the objective is not to cause casualties, but to "obtain the package." Cheng's men drop thru a hole in the floor into a sewage line--where they are immediately attacked by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Turtle Power! I'm only kidding. Sorry, just trying to create some excitement.

Cheng radioes directions to his men which he says should put them directly beneath CTU! Finally! A plot twist I actually halfway care about.

At the Family Inn--trapped in a storyline that is going nowhere yet won't seem to end--Tom and a couple other men wait and listen in a van across the street while Lisa goes inside. She tells Bishop she needs to go freshen up, but he wants her now. She lies back on the bed and takes off her shirt. I wonder who's going to get voted off Idol this week. I gotta go with LaKisha. She screams too much. I mean, I scream, too. But only in my sleep.

'Neath CTU, Cheng's men prepare to break in. One of his men hacks into CTU's security system--which apparently is not as difficult as one might imagine--and shuts everything down. As things start going haywire upstairs, Nadia calls for a lockdown, but it is too late. Cheng's men are inside CTU! They come in guns-a-blazing.

Billy Bob Brosnan, or B3, is leading the attack. He orders everyone at CTU to get on the floor, then asks who is in command. Nadia is frozen. Milo raises his hand and says he's in charge. B3 shoots Milo in the neck! Grief counseling for female admirers of Milo Pressman will be offered in the comments section below.

Jack hears the commotion and finally convinces the guard outside his Holding cell to let him out. The guard gets shot by one of Cheng's men. Jack takes his gun and begins trying to work his way to the main floor.

Two of Cheng's men come and get JoshLyn. As they are being taken back to the main area, they run into Jack. He takes out Cheng's men and leads JoshLyn to a ventilation duct. Josh climbs in, but before Jack and Marilyn can, more of Cheng's men show up and take the two of them into custody.

Meanwhile, Ricky keeps trying to call in. B3 decides to let Nadia answer and instructs her to tell Ricky everything is OK. As they hang up, Ricky looks a little suspicious. Wait a second. That wasn't Alfonso Ribeiro. What show is this!?

Jack and Marilyn are brought back to the main area. B3 gets on the PA system and tells Josh his mother will be shot if he doesn't show himself within ten seconds. Josh comes back. B3 informs Cheng that Josh has been captured.

Cheng calls someone and says, "The operation was successful. We have your grandson." Then we see Jack's father on the other end. OK, that wasn't obvious or anything. Cheng asks Jack's father if he's finished repairing the sub-circuit board yet. Jack's father says he will trade Cheng one sub-circuit board for one grandson. Cheng says they will meet in twenty minutes at the rendezvous point.

The good:
The direct attack on CTU. Even though it is extremely far-fetched, it's still eight hundred times better than the sub-circuit board/Russians attacking Central Asia plot. *yawn*

The Milo surprise. That's old school 24, making you like someone then killing them off.

Marilyn, Josh, and Jack's father being brought back. Now if they'll just bring back Buchanan and Pierce... and Tony :)

The bad:
Nadia. As if her incompetence wasn't enough, now her cowardice leads to Milo getting shot. Buchanan never would have done that!

The Lisa/Daniels/Bishop storyline. It seems so detached from the rest of the show. I usually go to check my laundry during these scenes, even if I don't happen to be doing laundry that particular night.

More Chloe/Morris soap-style drama. I want the old Chloe, working with Jack on the downlow, uploading files to his PDA.

Did you know...
Evan Ellingson, who plays Josh Bauer, portrayed a young Luke Spencer in the November 5, 2001, episode of General Hospital.

Questions:
Why didn't one of Cheng's men just go into the ventilation duct after Josh? Let's see, an armed man chasing an unarmed teen thru a crawlspace. Naaah! Too easy.

Will Buchanan and Pierce come back to help save the day? Please, can they?

Where will the rendezvous point be? I mean, where do you go to exchange a grandchild for computer parts? Best Buy, maybe? There seem to be lots of kids running around in there.

Will Elizabeth ever tell Lucky that the baby is Jason's on General Hospital? Seriously, she is getting on my nerves almost as bad as Nadia.

"Splinter taught them to be ninja teens. Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines.
Raphael is cool but crude. Michelangelo is a party dude..."

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

24 Recap: 4/30/07

OK, so here's what we know. Jack has been arrested. Again. Ricky intervened last week, allowing Cheng to escape with the sub-circuit board. However, in doing so, it appears Ricky may also have inadvertently saved Jack's life.

Recapping Day Six: 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM...

At the White House, acting-President Daniels video conferences with Russian President Sukarov in the Cisco Telepresence Suite. Seriously, is this an actual room in the White House? Because I don't recall Wolf Blitzer or Jon Stewart even mentioning it.

Sukarov has learned the Chinese have possession of the sub-circuit board--which if you recall, holds all the secrets of Russian intelligence, the KGB, the politburo, and possibly Baryshnikov's defection. He threatens Daniels with military action if the US doesn't intercept the component.

They hang up--or de-link, or do whatever it is you do to end a video conference. Daniels wants to know how Sukarov found out about the Chinese. Tom says the only way the Russians could have found out would be from someone inside the US Government or CTU. Attention! We have a leak!

At the Family Inn, as Lisa enters her room, some guy grabs her from behind!!! Oh wait. False alarm. She apparently knows him. They fool around. When Lisa goes to shower, her boy calls some guy who asks, "Does she know you're working with us?"

Jack, Ricky, and Audrey are brought back to CTU. Jack is taken to Holding. Audrey is taken to Medical and evaluated by a doctor. His diagnosis is she's a type-three catatonic, capable of following simple commands and repeating basic phrases, but otherwise unresponsive. No! Not catatonic! That's what Laura was on General Hospital. First, Laura. Now Audrey. They can't do this to me. They just can't!

He says Audrey has suffered severe psychological abuse, amplified by pharmacological agents. Pharmacological? Is that even a word? That sounds exactly like something I'd make up. He recommends treating her with drugs to try and shock her out of the catatonic state, but says it could be dangerous and in extreme cases, fatal. Ricky implores Nadia to let Jack talk to Audrey first, but Nadia says the doctor has jurisdiction. Ricky then tells her Buchanan would have done it.

Meanwhile, Chloe and Morris still appear to be auditioning for some 21st Century version of Melrose Place. Morris tells Chloe she crossed the line with her seemingly innocuous "don't arm nuclear bombs for terrorists" jab last week, then tells her, "We're done." Chloe appears to start crying--quite possibly for the first time in her life. What is this salty discharge?

Hightailing it in a Hummer, Cheng calls one of his men and uploads schematics from the sub-circuit board to his computer. The man tells Cheng it appears the board has been damaged and can't be repaired without "necessary expertise." Otherwise, it is useless.

Back at the White House, Tom has traced the leak to a lobbyist, Mark Bishop. He tells Daniels credit card records show Bishop and Lisa stayed at the same hotels on the same nights several times, and that they can probably prove Lisa is sleeping with him.

Daniels responds, "Then we have a bigger problem than you think, Tom."
"Why is that, sir?"
"Because I'm sleeping with her, too."
OK, I'm a little lost here. How is that a bigger problem than her giving information to a Russian spy?

Ricky goes to see Jack in Holding and uncuffs him. He says he thinks Jack needs to try and help Audrey, tells Jack to "make it look good" then turns around. Jack appears to pinch Ricky in that tender spot right between your neck and shoulder. Ricky crumples to the ground. I guess in the absence of any real action, staged action is the next best thing?

Jack goes to Medical, knocks down a couple of doctors and leads Audrey away. One of the doctors sounds an alarm. Morris pulls Jack & Audrey up on surveillance. You know, since the Counter Terrorist Unit wouldn't have continuous surveillance on someone in Holding to begin with.

Jack takes Audrey into a room and jams the door. He tries to get her to remember anything that might help find Cheng. She doesn't say a word. As agents began to cut open the door with a blowtorch, Jack and Audrey share a moment. He holds her hand. Stealing Daniels' number one move are we, Bauer?

Ricky, Nadia, the doctor, and a couple other people enter the room. Jack pulls a gun and says he's not letting the doctor take Audrey back to Medical. Suddenly, Audrey utters a word! She says, "Bloomfield." Bloomfield! Of course! Wait a second... what the heck is Bloomfield?! Figuring this means Jack is making progress, Nadia assures him she won't let the doctor touch Audrey. Jack puts down his gun and is taken back to Holding.

At the White House, Tom informs Daniels the Russians are moving a large number of troops towards a US base in Central Asia. Lisa shows up. Tom leaves. Daniels tells Lisa about the leak, and plays a recorded phone call Bishop made to his Russian contact just minutes earlier. Then he confronts Lisa about her relationship with Bishop. Hurt and angry, Daniels orders Lisa to return to Bishop and pretend nothing has happened to see what she can find out. OK, so you got all that? Daniels was sleeping with Lisa, who's sleeping with Bishop, who is figuratively in bed with the Russians.

Back at CTU, Ricky tells Nadia that Bloomfield turned out to be an old copper company. He says copper particles were found on Audrey's clothing, so that is probably where Cheng was holding her. Meanwhile Audrey's father, Secretary Heller, comes to see her and says he's made arrangements to take her away from CTU. He then pays a visit to Holding to see Jack. Heller blames Jack for what happened to Audrey and warns him to never go around her again.

And that may very well have been the least climatic ending in television history...

The good:
Ricky. I'm sorry, but it's true. He was a highlight of this episode, standing up to Nadia and the doctor, then uncuffing Jack to let him try and get thru to Audrey.

Lisa sleeping with the enemy, most likely assuring we'll never have to see anymore heavy petting between her and Daniels.

The bad:
Virtually no action at all, again. No helicopter crashes. No explosions. No Jack taking out the bad guys. I mean, the most action-packed scenes involved cutting open a door with a blowtorch and Jack punching out a doctor. Even the barely interesting storyline of the sub-circuit board got a bit more lame, as the Chinese discovered it was damaged.

The Chloe/Morris saga. Seriously, is anyone on the edge of their seat wondering what will happen between Chloe and Morris next week?

Best Quote:
Ricky to Nadia: "Well that's what Buchanan would have done!" Booyah! Suck on that, Nadia!

Master of the Obvious:
"You're cursed, Jack. Everything you touch, one way or another, ends up dead." Boy, you can't get anything past that William Devane.

Did you know...
Eric Balfour, who plays Milo on 24, got his start on Kids Incorporated, a children's television series which aired form 1984 to 1996 on the Disney Channel and in syndication. Other former Kids Inc. cast members include Jennifer Love Hewitt, Fergie, and Martika (best known for her 1989 hit "Toy Soldiers.")

Did you know, part deux...
KGB stands for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti. Thus the abbreviation.

Prediction:
In a shocking season-ending twist, Pierce makes another return, teaming with Jack and Ricky to reunite Chloe and Morris.

Questions:
What is up with all the broken and seemingly pointless storylines this season? They brought Martha and Charles Logan back just so she could stab him in the neck? Will we ever see them again?

What happened to the show that used to be non-stop suspense and action every single week?

"She kept saying, I've never really done this kind of things before, have you? Third rate romance, low rent rendezvous..."

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

24 Recap: 4/23/07

Recapping Day Six: 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM...

Ricky commandeers a car, which looks to be a new Chevy Impala, and takes off to try and find Jack. Bill announces to everyone at CTU that "Jack Bauer's gone rogue"--which is pretty much this show's equivalent to Lou Ferrigno ripping his shirt and turning green--and that all available resources should be focused on finding and bringing him in.

Meanwhile Jack--who appears to be driving a Toyota Tundra, specially equipped with a CTU tracking device. That doesn't come standard, you know--calls and tells Cheng to meet him at an abandoned motel called the Calderon.

At the White House, Daniels meets with Tom and asks what he plans to do with the evidence/recording/blackmail. Tom says he hasn't thought much about it and pledges his support for the acting-President. Karen comes in and assures Daniels CTU is doing everything they can to find Jack.

When Tom and Karen leave, Daniels comes up behind his assistant, Lisa, and finally checks her breath. When Lisa suggests that might be inappropriate behavior, Daniels replies, "Well there's the phone. Call the media. Tell them the acting-President's a dirty old man." Ewww! I need a bath! Then he asks her to spend the night, and she agrees. Wow! Who'd a' thunk that dirty old man line would ever work!

Over at As The Counter Terrorist Unit Turns, Nadia is on the phone with Ricky telling him they've lost track of Jack. Apparently, Jack drove under some power lines, completely screwing up CTU's state of the art high-tech tracking devices. Let me get this straight, power lines interrupt their tracking capabilities? Well it's a good thing there aren't many power lines in the world! Meanwhile, Chloe and Morris are bickering like an old married couple. The argument ends as follows:

Morris: "Is there anything else?"
Chloe: "Yes. Don't arm nuclear bombs for terrorists." Ooo, burn! I mean, seriously, there's no comeback for that.

Karen gets called into a meeting with Peter Hawk, from the Department of Justice--aka DOJ, not to be confused with Dojo from Karate Kid. He has been interrogating Reed Pollack over the assassination attempt on Palmer. Pollack is singing, trying to avoid the death penalty. He claims that Bill Buchanan had Fayed in custody, but let him go, and that Karen helped cover it up. Karen denied there was a cover up, but Peter tells her someone will have to take the fall for it, either her or Bill.

Jack arrives at the Calderon, which we'll refer to from now on as the Bates Motel. There's no sign of Cheng--or Norman Bates. Jack plants an explosive in one of the walls, then calls Bill and gets his voicemail. Bill's outgoing message says "if this is an urgent call, press zero." Jack doesn't press zero. I don't get it. This isn't urgent?? Jack leaves a message explaining that the circuit board will be destroyed in the explosion he plans to set off as soon as Audrey is free. Jack then calls Valley Cab Company.

Karen goes to see Tom about her situation with the DOJ. Tom urges her to let Bill take the fall. Meanwhile after his fight with Chloe, Morris asks Bill for a transfer. When Morris leaves, Bill calls Karen. She tells him she has to fire him. Bill argues to no avail. Then hangs up on her. She calls back, but Bill doesn't answer.

Bill calls Nadia into the conference room, informs her he is stepping down immediately, and names her acting director of CTU. Nadia doesn't understand why this is happening, calling Bill "the most ethical, dedicated person" she's ever known. Bill tells her "It's just politics." Guards come and escort Bill away.

Cruising in the Impala, Ricky comes up on the Bates Motel with no clue Jack is there, until he spots Jack's truck. He is about to scope out the place when he sees a limo pull up. Ricky hides and listens as Cheng enters. Is it just me, or does Cheng seem to be a rather merry villain? Jack asks to see Audrey. She is brought in, gagged. Jack ungags her then gives her standard Bauer line #3: "I'm so sorry."

Jack tells Cheng he won't hand over the sub-circuit board until Audrey is safely out of range of his snipers. He then whispers instructions to Audrey to walk to a gas station where a cab will be waiting to take her to CTU. Audrey begins walking. Just as Jack tosses the sub-circuit board to Cheng, Doyle begins shooting. About the same, backup from CTU arrives. A firefight ensues.

Jack appears to get shot and knocked off his feet, but has on a bullet-proof vest and is OK. As they flee, one of the Chinese pulls out a bazooka and blows a CTU chopper out of the sky. Meanwhile, Cheng slips off into the night in a Hummer with the sub-circuit board in his hands. You know, because twenty CTU agents in two SUV's and a helicopter are just that inept.

Nadia orders Ricky to arrest Jack. Just before he is handcuffed, Jack shows Ricky the detonator and implies that Ricky screwed up the whole thing. CTU agents bring Audrey to safety. Jack speaks to her and tells her she's safe now. Audrey appears to be confused or brainwashed or something and Jack realizes she doesn't even recognize him.

The good:
One of Cheng's men blowing the CTU chopper out of the sky with a bazooka.

Jack realizing Audrey doesn't recognize him.

A plot twist which seems to come very late in the season involving the Chinese now in possession of the sub-circuit board.

Tom. You're never quite sure what he's thinking or whose side he is on, and I think that's a good thing.

The bad:
The Chloe/Morris bickering.

Daniels and Lisa flirting.

Jack being arrested, again. That's twice in two weeks. And how many times since the series began? Hey, I know! How about doing something that hasn't been done to death already?

Best quote:
"I had this handled."

Worst scene:
The unfortunate Daniels/Lisa dirty old man debacle.

Chloeisms:
"Could you please stop acting like this? I really hate it."

"I didn't say it was all your fault. I said halfway. Fifty percent. Point five."

Did you know...
Tzi Ma is the actor who plays the role of Cheng Zhi on 24. He will reprise his role as Consul Han in Rush Hour 3 later this year.

Zima is a light-colored alcoholic beverage made by the Coors Brewing Company, Boulder, Colorado.

Questions:
OK, why did Bill's phone go straight to voice mail when Jack called him? Yet when Karen called Bill, his phone rang three times, no voicemail, and she hung up.

What role will Buchanan play now that he's stepped down as director of CTU?

Will Palmer return this season? Is it possible to come out of a two comas in a twenty-four hour period?

Will we see Jack's father, Marilyn, Josh, etc. again this season?

"I have run. I have crawled. I have scaled these city walls, only to be with you..."

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

24 Recap: 04/16/07

OK, here's what we know. Fayed's dead. The nukes are secured. Audrey's back. Jack's going after her. And last week's show may have been the best of the season. Now recapping this week's episode. Also known as Day Six: 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM...

At the warehouse, the Marines are taking over custody of the suitcase nukes, by order of the DOD. That's Department of Defense, not to be confused with D&D, Dungeons and Dragons. Jack sneaks away into an alcove to call Cheng. He speaks to Audrey for a few seconds, who is being held in a big open room which looks kinda like the room Morgan Freeman was always in in Bruce Almighty. Jack offers to turn himself over to the Chinese in exchange for Audrey. But instead, Cheng wants the suitcase nukes, or more specifically, the FB sub-circuit board out of the nukes, which supposedly "holds the key to Russian defense codes."

Jack calls Chloe, who is currently in a Fayed's Dead celebratory meeting at CTU. Seriously, it looked like they were about to break out cupcakes at any second. Anyone for a nice game of Pin The Tail On Morris? She steals away to speak to Jack and is able to get the schematics Jack needs off of Morris' computer, then upload them to Jack's phone. Reason #77 for me to get a new phone: Ability to receive files from Chloe.

In the bunker, Tom tells President Palmer about the recording, aka blackmail, he has on VP Daniels. Karen comes in and tells them Fayed is dead and the nukes have been secured. Palmer wants to go on television and inform the American people. A bit later, Palmer meets one-on-one with Daniels and asks for his resignation. Daniels refuses. Palmer then tells him he knows about Tom's recording and expects Daniels resignation within a week.

Back at CTU, Morris notices someone has hacked into his system. He starts to call security, but Chloe stops him. She confesses. Morris pressures her to tell him what is going on. Chloe tells him about Jack. Morris then pressures her to tell Buchanan, which she finally agrees to do.

Meanwhile back at the warehouse, Jack gets past two guards by telling them he is under Presidential orders to get the circuit board out of one of the nukes. Two nuclear bombs? Yeah, two guards oughta be enough. Send R.J. and Billy Bob over there and have them take turns napping while the other one is on guard. While Jack is removing the circuit board, Ricky and CTU agents storm in. There is a brief standoff, then one of the agents knocks Jack in the head with his gun. Jack falls to the floor and is arrested. Bill calls and tells Jack he can't support Jack's mission. Jack asks to talk to the President.

Speaking with Palmer, Jack requests the President approve a field operation to save Audrey. He assures Palmer he will destroy the circuit board once Audrey is released, even if it means killing himself in the process. Palmer is reluctant, then Jack reminds him that sixteen hours ago the government was willing to give him up for dead in exchange for Assad. Sixteen hours? Wow. It seems like months to me. Palmer agrees and tells Bill to give Jack whatever he needs.

Jack calls Cheng and tells him he has the component, aka circuit board, and gets directions on where to go. Sometime in here, I was pondering how in the world Jack was going to get to China in less than an hour real-time? Oh! Cheng's in California! Gotcha. Jack and Ricky take off in a truck.

In the bunker, Noah tells Lisa he is going to resign and says he wants his resignation in Palmer's hands by the end of the press conference. She appears crestfallen, but Daniels takes her hand and consoles her. And tells her this will give them more time to hold hands. They walk down to the press conference together. While answering questions, President Palmer begins to ramble incoherently. Then he offers the biggest grimace yet and crumples to the floor. Daniels casually folds up his resignation and slips it in his coat pocket.

The doctor tells Daniels, Lisa, Tom, and Karen that Palmer suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and that he probably won't regain consciousness anytime soon. Daniels prepares to assume power. His first order of business is to have CTU stop Jack's rescue mission. Karen calls Bill. Bill calls Ricky and tells him to re-route the truck to another road where CTU will have a roadblock set up. Ricky makes up an excuse to tell Jack why they have to take another road. Jack isn't buying it. He pulls a gun and forces Ricky to pull over and get out of the truck! Jack hops in and drives off in search of Audrey...

The good:
Jack and Chloe working together again on the down low, if only for a few moments.

Audrey's back! (Did I by chance mention that last week?)

The Tom blackmail/recording thing is a nice little subplot. Although I just keep waiting for someone to whack Tom at any moment.

The bad:
Palmer passing out just as Daniels is ready to resign, if only for its predictableness. It was just so obvious.

I think Ricky is growing on me a little. I actually typed Doyle in the recap a couple of times. Ugh. Maybe I need a shot of adrenalin.

Best quote:
"With all due respect, Mister President, you owe me."

Chloeisms
"We both know that if we do this, it could create an international incident, big time."

Did you know...
Philip Baker Hall, who played Bruce's boss, Jack Baylor, in Bruce Almighty, also appeared in Seinfeld. He played over-zealous library cop Bookman in the episode called "The Library" and also reprised that role for the series finale.

Questions
Why is Jack's trustworthiness even an issue? It's been six seasons, people. I think we can begin to phase out that little storyline.

Will Tom's blackmail recording come into play now that Daniels is acting as President?

How did Cheng know the exact moment Jack had secured the nukes? What I'm gathering from all this is, no matter what is going on in the world or how things appear, China is our real enemy.

"We could have gone all the way to the Great Wall of China, if you'd only had a little more faith in me..."

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

24 Recap: 4/9/07

24. Is. Back. If you see only one episode this year, see this one!

Recapping this week's episode, aka Day Six: 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM...

In the war room, with the missile in the air and less than five minutes from Syraqistan, Karen and Tom try to get Palmer to abort the strike. The Syraqistani Ambassador calls--to inquire about a blip on the radar screen that appears to be headed for his country-- and finally gives Palmer the name of a man inside their government who has been working with Fayed: General Mohmar Habib. Palmer aborts the strike, then tells Tom and Karen the missile was never armed. He bluffed Syraqistan to get them to admit information.

Somehwere around the Santa Monica Pier, Jack is interrogating a bloody-faced Fayed. Fayed reminds him that Jack killed his brother. Bill calls and while Jack is on the phone, Ricky begins to interrogate Fayed and puts a gun to his head. Jack orders Ricky to lower his weapon and says they are going to transport Fayed back to CTU. Ricky remarks to Fayed, "Now we're gonna have some fun." What does that mean? Did he bring the Pac-Man game from Silver Spoons to CTU? Oh, come on, that never gets old!

While transporting Fayed, someone crashes into the CTU UPS truck, causing it to turn over. Several men, who I'm guessing are Syraqistani militants, get out and start shooting. Jack and Ricky try to ward them off. Ricky is shot and goes down. Then Jack is shot! Then... I died. I began to see a bright light and was being drawn towards it... The men take Fayed into their van, which looks a little like a Brink's truck. When the van is out of sight, Jack sits up and yells, "We're clear!" It was another hoax! The men are undercover agents pretending to rescue Fayed, hoping he will lead them to the remaining suitcase nukes.

In the back of the Brink's van, the agents--who for some reason alternate speaking English and Syraqistani to Fayed--say Habib sent them to rescue Fayed and take him where he needs to go. Fayed asks for a gun as a show of trust and is given one. Then he refuses to tell the men where to take him until he speaks with Habib.

In the bunker, Tom apologizes to Palmer for doubting his leadership. They are about to go meet the Syraqistani Ambassador when Palmer nearly falls. Last week, he was grimacing a lot. This week, his hands are shaky. Google: WebMD, symptoms, grimace, shaky hands... click... OK, says here President Palmer may have epilepsy, low blood sugar, acute stress reaction, dementia with Lewy bodies, and/or cocaine abuse. Eww, Lewy bodies, you don't want those!

Meeting with the ambassador, an aggressive Palmer tells him to sit down, and informs him of CTU's undercover plan to trick Fayed. The ambassador says they are questioning Habib in Syraqistan but that he won't talk. Palmer--who now has a little Seal thing going on with the stitches on his face--asks the ambassador if they've tried threatening Habib's family.

At As The Counter Terrorist Unit Turns, Nadia tells Milo, "I need you to upload the propriety channel on Socket D to my terminal." Oh, Nadia. I love it when you talk techy to me. Milo, apparently not turned on by her request, refuses. Turns out he's jealous Nadia talked to Ricky or something. Blah blah blah. What was the point of that little segment?

Somewhere in Syraqistan, we see Habib. With his family being held at gunpoint, he calls Fayed and tells him that he sent the men. Fayed tells the undercover agents to head East. Meanwhile, after the meeting with the ambassador, Palmer starts to pass out and tells Tom to lock the door as he crumples to the floor. Later, a doctor works on Palmer and says his blood pressure has dropped. Palmer asks for a shot of adrenalin, but the doctor refuses, saying another shot would kill him.

Nadia tells Bill she heard Habib mention a guy named Samir during his call to Fayed. When she tried to pull up info on Samir, she found that he's been dead for two years. But really, when you're dead, does time even matter? Nadia thinks Habib was trying to give Fayed a signal that it was a set up. They radio the info out to Jack and Ricky, who are following the Brink's van at a distance. Jack calls one of the agents in the van and warns him it could be a trap. Then he loses signal as the Brink's van enters a tunnel.

Jack and Ricky arrive and find the van stopped in the tunnel. Two men inside are dead and one is wounded. Fayed is gone. Jack goes to find him. He comes up on Fayed making a call and telling someone he's on his way. Fayed gets into a garbage truck. Jack latches on to the underside of the truck and goes for a ride.

Fayed stops at what appears to be some sort of warehouse. He tells his men to load the bombs on the truck and says they are going to finish the job and take out downtown Los Angeles! Jack follows them inside, then starts a shootout, managing to take out all five or six of Fayed's men by himself. Then it's just Jack and Fayed! They both conveniently run out of ammo at about the same time. After a brief struggle, Jack manages to wrap a chain from a cargo elevator or something around Fayed's neck. Just before starting the elevator, he tells Fayed, "Say hello to your brother." BOOYAH!!!!! It was at this point that I somehow sprained my wrist. Seriously. I clapped really hard or something. I don't know.

Fayed is hanged. Ricky and the field team arrive. Ricky calls CTU and says, "The bombs are secure and Jack is OK." As they walk out of the warehouse, Ricky's phone rings. It's for Jack. Jack says hello.

Then... we see Audrey!!!

She looks a little rough, but still cute. She says, "Help me, Jack. Please, help me." Then the phone is taken away from her by Cheng Zhi, who tells Jack if he wants Audrey to remain alive, he will call Cheng back on a secure line...

The good:
Most everything! This is the 24 I've come to know and love.

Jack hanging Fayed.

Palmer's bluff, fooling not only Syraqistan, but Tom, Karen, and the 24 Nation.

The CTU hoax, which again fooled me into thinking Jack had been shot.

Two awesome midseason twists: Apparently wrapping up the suitcase nuke plot and moving on to a whole new storyline. And, of course, bringing Audrey back.

The bad:
The only subpar scene I could find was Milo getting jealous of Nadia and Ricky. I don't see the point of putting that scene in this episode. It was completely out of place.

Best quote:
"Say hello to your brother."

Other Bauerisms:
"Trust me, I haven't begun to enjoy myself."

"The bombs are on the table."

Did you know...
The singer Seal married supermodel Heidi Klum in 2005. They have two children: Henry Günther Ademola Dashtu Samuel and Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel, who they just call "J.R." Clearly these two have set the standard for giving your chldren as many names as possible.

Questions:
Is the suitcase nuke threat really over? That didn't take very long. When did the season start, 6 AM? 7 AM? The nukes are secured by 11 PM. So 7-11? Have a slurpee, Jack. You've earned it.

If it is over, what will be the new threat to the country? The whole show can't just be about Jack rescuing Audrey, can it? Although I wouldn't complain.

When will Jack's father, Marilyn, Josh, Martha Logan, and Aaron Pierce reappear. And what will they be up to?

"Well you know I gotta get out. But I'm stuck so tight. Weighed by the chains that keep me hangin' around this town on the corner..."

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

24 Recap: 4/2/07

Pia has a shiny, happy new template over at Courting Destiny. It's resplendent. (Seriously, 'Tor, I'm a little jealous.)

Recapping this week's 24, aka Day Six: 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM...

Daniels wants to wield control from Palmer so that he can launch the nuclear strike on Fayed's Country, which I will refer to from hereon as Syraqistan. He challenges Palmer's ability to discharge the duties of the Presidency, so it is decided that the cabinet will hear testimony and then vote. Before the hearing, Palmer asks Doctor Welti for a shot of adrenalin. Talk about cliche. Oh! He means an actual shot, like with needles and stuff.

After a ten minute recess--yeah, that seems like enough time to decide the future leader of the nation--the cabinet votes. It's a tie. And as we all know from baseball, a tie always goes to the President. Except that Daniels claims Karen Hayes' vote is invalid, because she resigned earlier in the day. The Attorney General says the validity of Karen's vote should be decided by the Supreme Court. Palmer grimaces, which he pretty much does this entire episode. Could it possibly be from the explosion he survived about four hours ago, or the coma he was in twenty minutes ago?

Over at As The Counter Terrorist Unit Turns, Ricky calls Nadia into his office and tells her he thinks Milo entered a wrong security code, allowing CTU's system to be infiltrated by the drone pilot. He wants Nadia to check Milo's computer without him knowing. Which I'm thinking Milo is going to like so much less than her checking his breath. With Ricky pressuring her, Nadia does it and finds that Milo had entered a wrong code. She expects Ricky to have Milo fired. Instead, Ricky logs in and changes the data to cover for him. When Milo returns, he spends the rest of the episode casting deep, suspicious glares at Nadia.

In the field, Jack agrees to the immunity for Gredenko, telling Bill it won't be valid if the Presidency is being contested. Gredenko calls Fayed and they agree to meet at the Santa Monica Pier to exchange security codes and plot out more havoc-wreaking. All while enjoying a couple of blue coconut Hawaiian shaved ices, no doubt.

In the bunker, Team Palmer and Team Daniels are going over the arguments they'll present to the Supreme Court. Lisa doesn't think Daniels will win and volunteers to lie and swear that Daniels told her he planned to relieve Karen of her duties. Daniels holds her hand, which was a bit awkward and ambiguous. Later, Tom comes in and asks to meet with Daniels alone. Tom shows him a microtransmitter he had planted in the office, then plays back a tape of Lisa volunteering to lie under oath and the Vice President consenting to it. He then tells Daniels to call and drop his motion to remove the President, which he does.

Arriving at the pier, Gredenko is injected in the arm with some radioactive material which will "go straight into the bone" and allow CTU to track him. He then goes to meet Fayed. When he gets inside, he doesn't say a word as he pulls off the transmitter CTU has wired him with and unplugs it. Fayed, putting on his best et-tu-Gredenko face says, "You led them to me." Jack and the field team move in. When Jack gets into the room where Gredenko is supposed to be, he's not there. Oh, but his arm is! It's lying on the floor. He cut it off so CTU couldn't track him! That's going to cause serious problems the next time he tries to do the hokey pokey.

Fayed and Gredenko stroll into a local pub. All that terror-mongering makes a guy thirsty. Suddenly, Gredenko points at Fayed and says, "That's him. That's the terrorist. I've seen him on TV." Fayed shoots a couple of people before the locals are able to subdue him. Gredenko limps into the darkness before Jack arrives and secures Fayed. We next see Gredenko underneath the pier, where he appears to be getting weaker. He passes out at water's edge.

Back in the bunker, Palmer gets another shot of adrenalin. Karen tells Tom she wants to call a truce. Tom's phone rings and he is clearly disturbed and alarmed by the call. He tells Karen that Palmer has decided to go ahead with the nuclear strike anyway! Tom goes to the war room and tries talking sense into the President. But Palmer says he doesn't want to appear weak any longer and a nuclear missile is launched at Syraqistan from the USS Vickery...

The good:
Twists, twists, everywhere! Tom turning on Daniels. Ricky covering for Milo. Gredenko cutting off his arm, then giving up Fayed, then passing out and maybe dying himself.

Tom bugging the Vice President's office and thwarting his efforts to commit perjury.

More suspicion. What is Ricky up to? What is Tom up to?

The bad:
No Chloe? No CHLOE?! NO CHLOE!!!! What is up with that?

I didn't buy Palmer's sudden 180 on the nuclear strike, after he had fought so hard and risked his life to stop it.

Best scene:
Gredenko's severed arm lying in the floor. You simply cannot overstate the entertainment value of a detached limb.

Best quote:
Tom: "Well, sir, I'm on the side of the United States of America. And if you ever thought otherwise, you were very much mistaken."

Did you know...
Tiger's Blood is widely regarded as the current most popular flavor of shaved ice. It is a combination of red berry fruits and coconut flavoring.

Did you know, part deux...
Grimace first appeared as a McDonaldland character in 1971 as a four-armed milkshake stealing bandit. But was later recast as a lovable two-armed doofus. If you're having trouble keeping up, Palmer grimaced throughout this episode. And Gredenko has one arm.

Questions:
Why did Palmer do a complete reversal and launch the nuclear strike? Is his brain swelling? Or are they blaming it on the adrenaline? I know sometimes when I'm playing football on the Xbox, I'll get fired up and do something really crazy like go for it on 4th and 28 from my own 10.

Is Gredenko dead?

Why no Chloe???

What happened to Martha Logan, and more importantly, Aaron Pierce?

"You put your left arm in. You take your left arm out. You put your left arm in, and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about..."

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

24 Recap:3/26/07

There's a fun, new post 'neath this one. I kinda got carried away writing last night/this morning :)

Today is also an important day in history. The urinal was patented on this date in 1866. And I, for one, am very thankful. I'm not sure I could survive if I had to sit to pee.


Recapping Day Six: 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM

In the aftermath of the raid on the drone pilot's compound, Bill tells Jack about VP Daniels plan for retalitation against Fayed's country. He says they have to find Gredenko within the hour, before Daniels launches the nuclear strike. Meanwhile, Nameless Drone Pilot Tron Controller Guy #1 dies.

Out at Gredenko's Desert Hideaway, Resort, and Nuclear Drone Launch Site, Fayed threatens Gredenko after they learn the latest nuke did not detonate. Gredenko tells Fayed he is the only one who can get him the targets he wants. You know, that whole "What Do I Have To Do To Put You In A Terrorist Attack Today" sales pitch. Gredenko calls some guy named Mark Hauser and says he needs security specs for something. Mark instructs his brother, Brady, to get the information. Brady goes to the computer.

At CTU, where Milo appears to just be watching Nadia on her live holding room webcam, Chloe is able to track the call and get Hauser's address. For some reason, she was unable to get Gredenko's location from the same call. He must have star sixty-sevened. They call Jack and he prepares to take a field team over. Meanwhile, an agent named Johnson tells Ricky Schroder that he found a load access module which the drone pilot used to get into CTU's system, meaning Nadia is innocent. He tells Ricky that won't look good after Ricky "led the witchhunt" on Nadia. Johnson promises he won't mention it to anyone, since Ricky helped him out in Denver.

Outside President Palmer's hospital room, Karen Hayes tells Sandra Palmer she needs her consent to bring Wayne out of his coma, so he can stop Daniels planned nuclear strike. In a recurring 24 theme, Sandra says no at first, but finally agrees.

In the bunker, Daniels is briefed and told that a 300 kiloton bomb will be detonated in the Middle East within the hour. That's roughly equal to 12 million sticks of dynamite, or 72 million M-80's. The meeting is interrupted when Daniels is given a message that Palmer is being brought out of the coma. He calls Palmer's doctor and threatens him. The doctor refuses to give in to Daniels' strongarm tactics.

Jack and the field team storm Hauser's lair. They shoot and wound Mark, who confesses he was looking up security specs for the Edgemont Nuclear Power Facility for Gredenko. Jack has Mark call Gredenko and tell him the information is ready, but that Mark can't meet him because he just got called into work. Who gets called into work at 8:30 at night? Where does he work? NORAD? Wal-Mart? Jack talks to Brady, who appears to be Autistic. It is determined that Brady will meet Gredenko across the street. Jack and the field team will be waiting!

Meanwhile, at As CTU Turns, Johnson tells Milo that Ricky has information that would clear Nadia. Milo confronts Ricky and accuses him of not reporting the information. They shove each other. Then Morris comes over and says Ricky gave the chip to him to analyze. Everything checked out. Nadia is cleared. Milo apologizes to Ricky. Ricky goes over to Johnson and tells him, "You've screwed with the wrong guy for the last time." I was on Silver Spoons when you were nothing!

Bill goes to apologize to Nadia. She starts to walk out and he talks her into staying. When she returns to her station, Milo tries to talk to her, but Nadia walks away. Milo follows her to a convenient quaint little out of the way place inside the ever-so-cavernous CTU, where he promptly checks her breath, for about six and a half seconds. I feel much safer knowing that people assigned to stop terrorists can still find a moment or two to make-out during the day.

At Coma Central, the doctor tells Sandra that Palmer is starting to have intercranial swelling again. Palmer begins to crash. Which, sadly, is the most excitement we've had to this point.

Across the street from Hauser's, Brady is wired and waiting. Gredenko arrives, gets out of the vehicle, and begins uploading the security specs. Jack hears Gredenko tell one of his men to shoot Brady as soon as the upload is complete. Just before he is about to, the field team shoots Gredenko with a tranquilizer gun and take out other two men who were with him. Brady is unharmed. Once Gredenko wakes up, Jack goes to question him. Gredenko says he will help find Fayed, but he wants amnesty in return.

Back at Shock & Awe HQ, Daniels gets word that CTU has Gredenko in custody, but gives the command to proceed with the nuclear strike anyway. The defense secretary returns and says they've just been ordered to stand down. Daniels asks where the order came from, and is told they came from President Palmer! He's out of the coma! Lisa hands Daniels the phone. It's Palmer, who says he is resuming his duties as President and that there is to be no hostile launch without his direct authorization. After they hang up, Daniels says, "I can't let him remain in power. Get me the Attorney General."

The good:
President Palmer being brought out of the coma just in time to stop the nuclear strike.

Jack and the field team capturing Gredenko.

No "mole" being found at CTU. It's been done to death. Besides, a Counter Terrorist Unit that averts terrorists attacks together, stays together.

Ricky not withholding the information about Nadia. I hate to say it, but when he told off Johnson, I kinda started to like him.

The bad:
In what is becoming an all too often occurrence this season, there was very little action. We're basically left each week waiting for the final ten or fifteen minutes of the show for the excitement.

I would have liked to have seen some cigar-cutter-finger-lopping interrogation action between Jack and Gredenko.

Best scene:
Palmer calling Daniels to stop the nuclear strike. "I am resuming my duties as Commander-in-Chief."

Random quote:
Nadia to Morris: "You have to admit this is not the best place to start a relationship."

Chloeisms:
"This is gonna be awkward... especially for you."

Questions:
Where is Jack's father?

Now that things are running a bit too smoothly at CTU, will the fact that Bill signed off on Fayed's release come back into play?

Why do they only refer to it as "Fayed's Country?" Is there some sort of obscure international Treaty of Fayed or something that says you can't make a TV show about launching a nuclear attack on a specific country? Has anyone ever read the fine print from that SALT agreement?

Will we ever actually see Audrey again? Or just hear stories about her? Kinda like on Happy Days when Richie joined the army. And they would act like he called, but we never saw or heard him.

"A tournament of lies. Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline. It's the end of the world as we know it..."

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

24 Recap: 3/19/07

As you may have heard, Lindsay is reportedly out of rehab and looking for a boyfriend who is more mature and settled. Um, does that just scream "Bone" or what?

Recapping this week's episode of 24, also known as Day Six: 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM...

Outside Moscow 90210, Jack is checked out by a medic who says he has floating rib fragments that could cause internal bleeding. Ricky Schroder takes Jack off the case and sends him back to CTU. Meanwhile at CTU, Bill is on the phone with VP Daniels, and tells him that Gredenko has five RQ2 Aerial Drones he is planning to use to carry the nukes. RQ2? Isn't that the morning after pill?

Out at Gredenko's Desert Hideaway, Resort, and Nuclear Drone Launch Site, Gredenko tells Fayed they have to hurry because the Americans are on the way. Fayed says there is only one drone ready. Gredenko says they must launch that one now and leave. He phones his remote drone pilot and tells him to take off. The drone pilot, who we will come to know as Victor, pulls out a cool flight stick--which kinda looks like the old Tron joystick--and launches drone number one.

Back at As the Counter Terrorist Unit Turns, Morris somehow loses track of the drone on satellite. Milo--who has evidently become Morris' unofficial AA sponsor--becomes suspicious and tells Chloe to check his breath. Chloe walks over to Morris and plants one on him.

Morris: "What was that for?"
Chloe: "Just checking your breath."
Morris: "Got to love this place."

Chloe proclaims that Morris is clean. I know this is random, but I just suddenly got the feeling Milo would have been great in Red Dawn. Wolverines!!

Meanwhile, Jack has arrived and sees Marilyn--who has apparently just been standing in some room for the past couple of hours--and stops to chat. Marilyn tries to, ahem, check Jack's breath, but he turns away. She says she always regretted the way things ended between them. Which I'm thinking is Marilyn-ese for "Josh is your son."

Jack tells Marilyn he can't let her check his breath until he finds out what's going on with Audrey. Marilyn can't believe Jack hasn't already heard, and tells him Audrey was killed in a car wreck in China! Audrey is dead?!?! Jack. Is. Stunned. He storms over to Chloe's station and demands to know why she didn't tell him about Audrey. Chloe looks uncomfortable. Then again, when does she not?

Hello! We have terrorists to catch, people!

When Buchanan tells Daniels they've lost track of the drone, Daniels tells his assistant to assemble a meeting of the Joint Chiefs. Karen, who we find out is National Security Adviser, makes it back in time for the meeting. Daniels says if another nuclear bomb goes off in the US, he will launch a nuclear strike against Fayed's country. Karen objects. After the meeting, Karen and Tom argue.

Chloe discovers there's a leak at CTU, which is allowing Victor to block their tracking satellites. Bill orders everyone's computers checked. Ricky tells Chloe to check Nadia's first. Chloe says it looks like that's where the leak is coming from. Nadia is taken to holding where Ricky interrogates her. And by interrogates, I mean chokes and makes her cry. Meanwhile, Morris finds the drone pilot's address, which turns out to be just three blocks from CTU. Bill prepares to send a team over when Jack happens by and asks to be on point. Which is CTU speak for "in charge."

Karen goes to visit President Palmer. The doctor tells her they had to induce a coma. She asks if he can bring Palmer out of the coma for a matter of national security. The doctor says not without consent of the family, because it would endanger Palmer's life. The camera pans to a tearful Sandra Palmer, watching her brother thru a window.

A field team, led by Jack, storms the drone pilot's compound, shooting the pilot and two other guys. Jack takes control of the joystick, which now looks more like Flight Similator than Tron. Now I love Jack, but shouldn't Ricky Schroder be playing the video game? I mean, this is the role he was born to play! Jack sees that San Francisco is the target and is told he has less than four minutes to steer the drone away from the city. He manages to do so and Chloe finds an industrial park where Jack can land it. The suitcase nuke does not detonate.

Buchanan calls Daniels and tells him they were able to divert the drone, but that while it did not detonate, radioactive material was released. Despite objections from Tom and Karen, Daniels tells his Defense Secretary to proceed with plans for a nuclear strike.

The good:
More Chloe! And the Chloe kiss.

Jack finding out about Audrey.

Having Karen, a voice of reason, back in the bunker.

The Nadia did-she-or-didn't-she conundrum.

The bad:
Almost no action at all this episode.

Audrey's dead.

Did you know...
Ten out of ten men prefer the Chloe-kiss breathalyzer to the traditional electronic device used by most law enforcement.

Questions:
Is Audrey really dead? Part of me doesn't believe it, or doesn't want to believe it.

Why was there no Martha or Charles? The ex-President gets stabbed and appears to be slipping away in the back of an ambulance, and the next week, they don't even show him?

What happened in Denver? When Ricky is making Nadia cry, she says, "I know what happened in Denver."

Did Nadia intentionally leak information? Or was it someone else?

"So I know I had at least a mile to fall. Is there life after Denver? Is there life after Colorado at all?"

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

24 Recap: 3/12/07

Recapping Day Six: 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM (and that is Pacific Daylight Time, for those of you who are wondering)...

Inside the Russian Consulate, aka Moscow 90210, a guard pushes Jack down a stairway where he falls on top of a dead guy. Over the phone, Markhov tells the guard to shoot the American. With hands bound, Jack manages to take the belt off the dead guy then uses it to knock the gun out of the guard's hand and escape. Only Jack Bauer could make taking a belt off a dead guy not seem awkward. Well, maybe MacGyver.

Jack finds a phone and calls CTU. Morris answers and Jack is about to tell him Gredenko's location when Markhov orders all phone lines shut down. Did he really just tell them to shut down the DSL? No more YouTube for you, Bauer! Jack buys time inside the Consulate for most of the hour as several Russians pursue him, yet can't seem to ever find him.

At CTU, Bill introduces Ricky Schroder as Mike Doyle, the new agent in charge of field ops. And everyone acts as if they've never even seen Silver Spoons. Turns out he's a bit of a jerk who we learn worked with Milo in Denver. Ricky puts a chokehold on Morris to establish his authority or something. CTU begins assembling a field team to launch an assault on the Russian Consulate, hoping to capture Markhov and rescue Jack.

Meanwhile, Charles Logan has been brought to CTU for questioning. He tells Buchanan attacking the Consulate would be a huge mistake. And says he thinks he can get his wife/ex-wife to contact Russian President Sukarov's wife, Onya, and get her to convince her husband that Markhov is working with Gredenko. Charles calls Martha Logan's Bungalow--their name, not mine--and Aaron Pierce answers! He convinces Aaron to let him talk to Martha, but after a minute, she throws down the phone. Pierce picks it up and Logan tells him he's taking a chopper to come and talk to Martha.

In the bunker, Vice President Daniels meets with Tom Lennox. He strongarms Tom into agreeing to say Assad was the one who planted and detonated the bomb that injured President Palmer. They meet with the foreign ambassador of Assad's country, and Tom goes along with Daniels' claim. Then Daniels threatens to attack the ambassador's country if they don't help find the terrorists before the nukes go off. Daniels is now making even Dick Cheney seem logical and reasonable.

Logan arrives at the Bungalow and tries to convince Martha to call Onya. They begin to bicker back and forth, and she throws a piece of kiwi in Logan's face. Ouch! That can really burn if it gets in your eye. Then Martha gets up to walk around and out of nowhere comes up behind Logan and stabs him in the neck! You know, one of those little squishy stress balls can do wonders for that pent up anger. You can almost feel the homocidal tendencies just melt away. Pierce yells for a medic as Logan pulls the knife out and blood begins to spurt.

At Moscow 90210, Schroder has his assault team amassed along the perimeter. Inside, Jack finds a room with a previously unseen Russian couple who appear to be on the verge of making out. Really people, not in the Consulate. Get a room. He asks the guy if there is another phone in the building. The guy says there is a satellite phone and Jack sends him to get it. When he returns, Jack dials CTU as some Russians come thru the door and open fire. Phone guy gets shot(SPF: 7), while Jack and Svetlana--my name, not theirs--take cover.

Though she has just stabbed her husband/ex-husband, Martha pulls it together enough to explain the situation to Onya Sukarov. We next see the Russian President call Markhov and tell him to surrender. Markhov refuses, then calls Gredenko to warn him the Americans are coming. Sukarov calls Buchanan and tells him Russian government will support the use of force on the Consulate. Buchanan gives Ricky the go-ahead and a massive firefight ensues. As the assault team moves in, Markhov is shot. Two Americans break windows in the room where Jack is and take out the Russian gunmen just in time.

Out at Gredenko's Desert Resort, Oasis, and Nuclear Drone Launch Site--the GDRONDLS--Fayed has arrived with the nukes. Gredenko gives the orders to arm them. Meanwhile, in the back of an ambulance somewhere, Charles Logan begins to slip away...

Next week, Alfonso Ribeiro challenges Ricky Schroder to a Pac-Man Death Match at the Stratton Mansion!

The good:
Pierce is back! Back again. Tell a friend.

Martha Logan's shocking and unstable return.

Decent action, with Jack pulling the amazing belt escape in the beginning, then the assault team moving in on the Consulate at the end.

The bad:
Ricky Schroder. Seriously, I'm not buying him as a tough guy at all. When I first saw that's who the new field agent was, I literally screamed, "Noooooo!"

Very little Chloe.

A lot in this episode seemed to be rushed or forced: Ricky putting a chokehold on Morris. Are you joking me?

The whole Pierce bringing Martha fresh fruit from market thing just seemed hokey and out of place.

The couple getting hot and heavy in the Russian Consulate, after they locked everything down last week.

Best scene:
Martha Logan stabbing Charles. Just for the sheer shock value, if nothing else. Right before that happened, I was thinking, "Is Martha throwing kiwi in Logan's face the most action we're going to see tonight?" The 24 writers do it again.

Best quote:
"Martha Logan's Bungalow." That cracked me up. I may start answering the phone like that. Bone's Bachelor Domicile. You're on the phone with Bone.

Chloeism:
"I'm beginning to feel ambivalent."

24 Trivia:
Which of the following does not belong?

A. Tony Almeida
B. Curtis Manning
C. Ricky Schroder.

Questions:
Where are they taking the Martha/Pierce storyline? Surely they didn't bring her back just to stab Charles.

Will Ricky and Jack clash? Or should I say, when will they clash?

After he escapes, how is Jack able to wander around for basically the entire hour inside the Russian consulate without being found, even though basically everyone is looking for him?

"Here we are, face to face, a couple of silver spoons. Hoping to find, we're two of a kind. Making a go. Making it grow..."

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

24 Recap: 3/5/07

Recapping tonight's epsiode, also known as Day Six: 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM, while wondering if 24 will observe Daylight Savings Time next week...

Here's what we (think we) know: Assad is dead, killed by the bomb that Reed planted and activated. President Palmer is alive, but unconscious and unable to serve.

Bill calls Karen to tell her about Palmer. Karen, who is still waiting for a plane, decides she should stay and says she will withdraw her resignation. Vice President Daniels, who is still on a plane, is notified that he will assume all the duties of the Presidency. Does that include dealing with the President's sister? I'd definitely have to ask that before proceeding. Upon landing, Daniels asks to see Tom Lennox a couple of times. When Tom can't be found, the Secretary of Defense calls for a sweep of the bunker to find him.

Reed hurries down to the boiler room to tell Carson the news. Carson wants to kill Tom and make it look like suicide, but Reed talks him out of it. Reed tries convincing Tom that they are doing what is best for the country, and that if he reveals what he knows about the assassination attempt, no one will believe him anyway. He unties Tom, and they leave the boiler room. The second Tom sees a Secret Service agent, he tells him Reed and Carson are directly responsible for the assassination attempt, and has them arrested.

Upon arriving at the Russian consulate, aka Moscow 90210, Logan convinces Jack to let him meet with Markhov alone. Markhov denies any knowledge of Gredenko's whereabouts, even after Logan threatens him by saying he will send evidence to Moscow linking Markhov with the syntax nerve gas the terrorists used last season.

As soon as Logan leaves, Markhov calls Gredenko, who surprisingly is not on the phone with Fayed. He tells Gredenko the Americans are looking for him, but assures him that by the time they locate him, it will be too late. Back in the car, Logan tells Jack he is certain Markhov is lying. Jack calls CTU and tells Chloe to prepare to cut off power to the Russian consulate for sixty seconds. He's going back in. Finally, Jack's back in action! Is it just me, or did it not seem like the power stayed off for anywhere near sixty seconds?

In the bunker, Dick Cheney... I mean, Daniels, tells his assistant(?) Lisa to make sure everyone gets a copy of Tom's proposal. He then walks in while Tom is being questioned about his knowledge of the assassination attempt. The two of them argue over Assad's innocence. And the Vice President tells Tom he wants to push thru the stricter security measures, reminding him it was Tom's proposal in the first place.

Out at Moscow 90210, Jack gets inside the Consul's office, but Markhov manages to press his panic button. Now if Jack only had an Easy button to override the panic button. Jack locks the door and informs the Russian guys outside the door that he is holding the Consul hostage. This sets off a string of phone calls. Jack calls Buchanan, who calls the Vice President, who receives a call from the Russian President asking what's the dealio?

After Markhov initially denies knowing Gredenko's whereabouts, Jack begins to play a sadistic game of This Little Piggy with Markhov's fingers and a cigar cutter. After the first finger is, um, removed, Jack pulls a gun on Markhov. Nine Fingers finally tells all. He says Gredenko is in the desert and planning to launch drones in two hours which will carry the nukes to their destinations.

Jack starts to leave, although I'm not sure why he thought he was just going to be able to walk out. The security guards set off plastic explosives to blow open the door. The explosion knocks Jack off his feet and he is apprehended. Later, Jack tells a Russian guard what Nine Fingers told him and implores him to call CTU and pass the information along to Bill Buchanan. The guard goes outside and calls, but as he is holding for Buchanan, he is shot (SPF: 5) by one of the other Russians. Who didn't see that coming.

At CTU, everyone is concerned when they haven't heard from Jack. Morris somehow finds a message in Russian which says that an American agent is in custody. Nadia tells Bill about the message. Bill tells her to get special ops ready and make plans to storm the Russian consulate to try to get Jack back. Booyah!

The good:
Jack going back into the Consulate and the interrogation of Markhov.

Lennox ratting out Reed and Carson.

Bill rounding up the posse to go rescue Jack.

No mention of Morris' alcoholism.

Palmer's alive. Because really, we've been there, done that, on the Presidential assassination. At the beginning of last season.

Lisa, the Vice President's assistant. We need some new characters in the bunker, with everyone being arrested or blown to smithereens.

The bad:
No Milo. And really not much CTU. Remember when like 80% of the show was either Jack in the field or goings-on at CTU? Sigh.

Still not a ton of action.

No Fayed.

The stricter security measures storyline isn't really going anywhere. I guess it could affect Nadia again at some point.

Best scene:
Jack cutting off Markhov's finger! Although it would have been better to see it drop to the floor. Or at least hear a thud and a roll. And why stop at one? Three Fingers or No Thumbs makes a much better nickname than Nine Fingers.

Understatement of the hour:
"Bill, this is Jack. I've got a situation here."

Did you know...
Four out of five special agents chose the cigar cutter as their preferred finger removal device.

This week's Did You Know is brought to you by La Carolina Torpito authentic Cuban cigars. You'll think you've died and gone to Havana.

Questions:
Who else was in on the assassination plot? Tom said Reed seemed to indicate there were others involved.

Will Palmer return, and when? And WWDD? What will Daniels do?

In the scenes from next week, was that Aaron Pierce with the former First Lady?!?! Are they bringing Pierce back?! I don't think I'll be able to contain myself.

"What's the d-d-d-deal? What's the d-d-d-deal? What's the d-d-d-dealio, the dealio..."

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

24 Recap: 2/26/07

Tired of Bone's wise-cracking comments? Do you secretly despise 3 Word Wednesday? Sick of hearing about General Hospital and 24? And what's up with that name anyway? Bone? What kind of name is that? Well do I have good news for you!

The first ever Roast-A-Bone will be held right here this coming Thursday. It's where you, the reader, will have your chance to say whatever you want about any and all aspects of Bone's blogging, life, personality, and sexual orientation. So put your thinking caps on (whatever that means), and get ready to be funny. The first ever Roast-A-Bone is coming, Thursday, March 1, 2007!

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Recapping tonight's episode, Day Six: 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM...

Jack and Marilyn share a "touching" moment as he sees her and Josh off to CTU. He then calls Bill to order a chopper to take him to see Logan. We find out Logan is at his retreat under house arrest.

Fayed is riding in the back of an unmarked UHaul truck and (surprise!) he's on the phone with Gredenko again. Seriously, can we not trace these calls? Later, a shipment arrives at Branch Gredenko carrying something Gredenko refers to as "a drone" that the US government spent millions to develop. Gee, that narrows it down. I'm guessing this drone is going to be used to carry the nukes?

Reed brings in his outside operative, some guy named Carson, who easily clears security, despite the fact he's carrying materials to make a bomb. They go into Reed's office, aka the boiler room, where Tom has awakened and is bound with duct tape. I'm curious. If someone has a piece of duct tape across your mouth, could you conceivably lick it and produce enough saliva to make it unsticky? I may try an experiment later.

At CTU, Morris is having problems completing his daily tasks. Chloe comes over and discovers Morris has specificed the wrong slot assignment for his SIP adapter. Seriously, Morris. That's like forgetting to turn your speakers on. What are you doing over there, playing spider solitaire? Chloe becomes suspicious Morris is drinking and steals his AA sponsor's number from his PDA. She calls the sponsor and leaves a voice mail.

Out at Camp David West, Logan tells Jack he's a changed man and that he can help find Gredenko. He gives Jack the name Anatoli Markhov, the Russian Consul General, who Logan says is Gredenko's liaison. Jack tells Logan he doesn't trust him. Logan responds, "If you want to find Gredenko, maybe it's time you start." Jack calls Palmer and asks for an executive order granting a temporary furlough, so that Logan can meet with Markhov. Palmer reluctantly agrees.

In the boiler room, Carson is making a bomb out of a tape recorder. Boy, those Walkmans have come a long way. Is it Walkmans or Walkmen? Reed seems to be having second thoughts about the assassination attempt. Carson wants to kill Tom as well, but Reed talks him out of it. When he's done, Carson gives Reed the detonation code. He tells him the bomb will explode fifteen seconds after he enters the code and that it has a ten foot kill radius.

Back at CTU, Nadia is becoming suspicious of Morris and accuses Chloe of covering for him. The AA sponsor returns Chloe's call and says she hasn't spoken with Morris in three years. Chloe goes into the men's room to confront Morris, and bursts into his stall! (Editor's note: Ladies, please, PLEASE, NEVER do this! That is a sanctified place.)

Chloe tells Morris she called his sponsor, and he claims that was his old sponsor. When Chloe leaves, Morris goes over to the sink and pours out half a bottle of whiskey. Then leaves without flushing or washing his hands! Where is the "All CTU Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Leaving Restroom" sign? Also, some guy tries to come in and Chloe says, "Not now." I find it funny that CTU is shorthanded, yet there are basically three people in the men's room at once.

Finally, Reed leaves the boiler room and plants the tape recorder in the podium where Assad is to speak. Then he goes outside and enters the detonation code. Assad and Palmer are in the room. Assad is at the podium and notices fluid leaking from the recorder. He yells bomb an instant before it goes off. The episode ends with Assad and Palmer lying motionless on the floor.

Overall, tonight's episode was kinda blah by 24 standards. It all pretty much built towards the bomb going off at the end. But I guess when you consider an episode that ends with an assassination attempt blah, you must have a decent show.

The good:
The explosion at the end.

No Sandra and Walid for the third week in a row!

The bad:
No Milo. You can't make us like him, then not include him in an entire episode.

Very little Jack.

Very little Fayed.

The Morris alcoholic thing is already starting to get old.

Best scene:
The closing scene with Assad yelling "Bomb!" and the explosion.

Worst scene:
Marilyn and Jack's "touching" moment. Jack touches her face like he's trying to wipe a bit of mustard off her cheek. It felt rushed, forced, and just plain awkward.

Did you know...
Anatoli is the sixth most popular Russian boy name, trailing Vladimir, Ivan, Boris, Sergei, and Mikhail. (Source: The Pocket Kremlin.)

Svetlana is the most popular Russian girl name. (Source: russianbrides.com.)

Fun Trivia:
What do Charles Logan, Martha Stewart, Jose Canseco, and Galileo have in common?

They've all been under house arrest at some point.

Questions:
Will Logan prove trustworthy?

Are Assad and Palmer alive? If I had to guess, I'd say Palmer is alive. I'm not so sure about Assad. His story really hasn't been going anywhere lately anyway.

Where is Audrey? Something is up, people. There's going to be a twist involving Audrey. I can feel it!

"You dropped a bomb on me, baby. You dropped a bomb on me..."