Tuesday, December 21, 2004

What constitutes a "date"?

Well, Jeremy is home from California for the holidays. Met him and Kyle for dinner last night at the steak house. So we're talking about various topics and Jeremy makes the following statement: "I'm not sure, but I think I may have had a date." Well, we were all laughing like there was no tomorrow. But besides being incredibly funny at the time, it brought up a good point. What exactly constitutes a date?

As a single person, I have often found myself in situations where I wasn't really sure if what was happening was actually a date. There have been times when what I thought may have been a date clearly wasn't a date in the mind of the girl, and vice versa.

You may find this hard to believe, but I have a sneaking suspicion that sometimes girls may not even decide whether or not it is a date until they're right in the middle of it. Then they're like, "Wow, he DOES look like Steve-O, this IS a date" or "Ugh, he really smells like an old gym shoe, we are definitely JUST friends." I know that is hard to believe, and maybe I'm wrong, but that is one theory I have.

So anyway, in your mind, what makes it a date? And I'm not talking about the obvious factors. Obviously, if there is significant lip contact or one party ends up pregnant, it was more than likely a date. I'm talking about cases where it isn't so obvious. I would like to hear your thoughts, because most of the time with girls, I have no idea what's happening. And also because just asking her if she considers it a date is just too hard... or too easy. Whichever.

"Here's to the nights we felt alive. Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry. Here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come too soon..."


  1. Things that would make it a date:

    1. If he paid

    2. If he opened the door, etc.

    3. If he is greeted at the door with a shotgun by a family member

  2. Unfortunately, or fortunately...I don't decide in the middle of it, what it is... because I need to know ahead of time if we are planning for a date or otherwise-- because that'll let me know if I need to bring $$ or not. Just kiddin'.

    But there's always so many in our group that hang out together, that it's kinda obvious it's a date when no one else is invited, and I say "so is this a date?"
    or it is brought up at some point before the actual going out.

    I'm just blunt like that, however..I like games I suppose, but *falls asleep on keyboard*


  3. It's definately a date when; a significant amount of advance planning and phone calls are exchanged between two said individuals who are attempting to meet one-on-one for the first or second time in a surrounding other than a homestead.

    You can not go to a girls house and hang out for 3 or 4 hours and call that a date. Unless, she's cooking for you, and then, that's iffy. However, if this is your first time at her place (or vice versa) and you're watching a movie and sitting on the couch together, and any kind of touching goes on, it's a date. Probably. It could turn into a fling though, so be careful.

    The only way to fully know for sure is to set it up that way when you ask the girl out.

    "Would you like to get together this weekend for coffee?"
    "There's a great new movie coming out, why don't we go check it out Saturday night?"
    "I can tell you're really cool, why don't we go out for dinner one night so we can chat and not be interrupted like we are at work?"

    .. and by all means, if you do the asking, you must pay for whatever activities go on. If she asks you out (which is probably more likely, depending), then you should still offer to foor the bill. A lot of women still enjoy the notion of the man being the breadwinner in the family. Just ask Melody. What?


  4. Ha, I like #3, Sarah. That's when you know it's definitely love :-)

    I guess paying could be an indicator, but I've paid for friends who are girls though, especially like if they're single and stuff.

    Anonymous, the direct approach would definitely be best. I guess some of us aren't that blunt.

  5. hey, that was some funny stuff there....I am still not sure. It's not that I would not mind it having been a date, but I would not want to say one thing and then her be offended. Basically, I would like to keep it simple. This young lady was awesome and I would enjoy having it being considered a date...however,if she does not want it to be a date, then thats fine, because she is an awesome young lady and I enjoyed the time with her.