Friday, December 09, 2005

Where do you prefer it?

"We like women. We want women. But that's pretty much as far as we've thought. That's why we're honking car horns, yelling from construction sites. These are the best ideas we've had so far." - Jerry Seinfeld, I'm Telling You For The Last Time

Dig, if you will, the picture...
A lone runner strides around a track, just before dusk, circa 2005. The track runs the perimeter of a local park. The runner sees a female approaching from the opposite direction. He has seen her here before. She also runs. And possesses many of the qualities prized by superficial man. They exchange smiles and a breathless "Hi" as they pass. A short time later, they both arrive back at their cars at the same time, thanks to some clever planning and a well-timed cool-down walk. What happens next?

This post was born from my convenience store post, and several of the comments which followed. I was a little freaked out that the clerk at the store asked me out. Then a few of you gave examples where you experienced something similar, and were also a bit freaked out.

At the track, I have been faced with this scenario several times. I think to myself, first of all, she's cute. Second of all, we have at least one thing in common. Then I always question whether or not it is appropriate. I mean, there are times people just want to be left alone, right? Plus, I have an acquired aversion to mace. So where is it OK to meet someone?

And let's not even count clubs. We all know about that. Besides, most of us can all pick up a less-than-sober femme. One problem with that is that once she sobers up, i.e. the next day, more times than not, she's not quite as enamored with you anymore. On the other hand, I am sure there are places that are definitely off-limits for such activity. Funerals, the gynecologist... "Say, this baby will be out in two more months, and you'll be looking slim and trim again. Wanna have dinner next February? Can you get a sitter?" Not apropos, I'm guessing?

Meanwhile, as I recently discovered, the grocery store seems to be a good place to meet girls. There are lots of aisles, therefore more chances to bump into each other. Lots of squeezing and feeling going on in the produce section. Or maybe I just think it's a good place because there is almost always a very favorable female-to-male ratio there.

And don't forget about my friend who was kissed by her pest control guy. And what about work? Dating co-workers, an employee, your boss or supervisor? Off-limits, awkward, or OK?

Was chatting with another friend the other night. I mentioned how I find it odd that so many people are looking for someone, yet... so many people are still looking for someone. Make sense? And she mentioned how there are so many thousands of people on singles sites and dating sites, but where are they in the real world? Do they all just stay inside in front of the computer all day everyday? Well, a good number do, I'm sure. In their Mom's basement. But most of them live somewhat normal lives. They work, they go to school, they run, they walk, they shop.

So I'm asking ladies, because while the Seinfeld bit I quoted is humorous, there is quite a bit of truth to it. Where to you prefer to be asked out/hit on? I would like to hear your thoughts and ideas on the topic. And what places and situations would make you feel awkward?

RSVP. My clock is ticking. Until then, I'll be over in fruits and vegetables feeling melons...

"We were walkin' 'long the ocean, together hand in hand, when I stopped to write I love you in the sand. When I looked up you were standin' ten miles out to sea. In a sweat, I woke up from that crazy dream..."


  1. While I am not a lady, I would like to add a few places where I have failed to meet women.

    1. Bookstore . . . Women who read are smart enough to avoid men.

    2. College (as a student) . . . too many pretty boy frat/brats for a guy like me to meet the women I find interesting. Even the ones the frat/brats don't want still compare ya to them.

    3. College (as a teacher) . . . just cuz a student flashes you her panties (or in the case of a lesbian friend of mine, a daily flash without the panties) does not mean she wants anything to do with you. It most likely means she doesn't know she is showing.

    4. The Internet. I've met fundamentalist Wiccans, celibate bisexuals with shaving issues, and girls who can't talk about anything but their ex-fiance.

    5. Coffee Shops. They'll talk to you for hours . . . while waiting for their stoner/bible beater/wife beater boyfriend to show up.

    Now you know why I hide at home . . . and no I don't live in a basement, and my parents live miles away.

  2. Sir Bone-

    I like being asked out wherever you would like to ask me out... I'm flexible...

    and I *do* mean that...



  3. Disagree. Think book stores and colleges are great places to meet guys

    I personally like Home Depot and lumberyards

    Hotel lobbies, piano bars and restaurants in same

    Love the paragraph about runners. Think it's exceptionally well written; poetic

  4. I can't think of a place that I think would be inappropriate. I think it's more in the timing. I mean if we were at a funeral and had gotten talking over the deviled eggs and pretty much continued to talk well after that, I wouldn't think it was odd that I would be asked out. Now if we had just met over the deviled eggs and you promptly asked me out, I would think you are some kind of weirdo. It's kinda like sex, you either have foreplay or you say "assume the position." Sorry, hope that's not too graphic.

  5. There may not be inappropriate places, Carnealian, but there are inappropriate times. Christy Troncone. That's the name that comes to mind. It was about 10 years ago while I was in college. It was the last time I would see her before Spring Break and I just couldn't let that happen. Unfortunately, she locked her keys in her car. Did that stop me? Not a chance. She was wondering how she was going to drive her car and I was asking her her plans for the weekend. She dropped the Calculus class we had together right after that. I think that was the last time I ever saw her. Too bad, too. She was gorgeous.

    Bone, you and OC Girl need to go out. OC, can Bone take you out on a date? I think he wants to take you to the track with him. He'll pick you up next Friday at 7pm. There Bone. Since you couldn't do it yourself, I did it for you.

    And going back a few days, I was thinking about worlds colliding at Festivus. I seem to recall the last time you were involved in a world collision. "She," as everyone who reads this blog knows, sorta disappeared after that. Maybe two collisions will be a reunion and then you'll have to deal with the OC Girl and "She" collision. I'm sure you could handle it though, either that or you'll end back up in the produce aisle.

  6. Coyote: Wiccan, huh? Interesting. What's that like, lots of candles?

    OCG: Ummm... uhhh... suddenly finding it difficult to respond to the remainder of the comments.

    Do you share your email address? :-)

    Pia: Bookstores... yes, seemingly. Just never had much luck there. Maybe I should spend more time there.

    Carnealian: Seems completely inappropriate to me. Then again, I don't think I've ever been to a funeral where there was food.

    Buzz: Nice story. You should have whipped out a clothes hanger and gotten her door open. And don't take it too hard. Calculus is tough.

    Are you talking about The Nexus of My Life? Yeah, as I recall, that entire trip was your idea. Thanks.

    Gotta keep your worlds separate. That's fo' sho'!

  7. ask the runner girl out please. you think it was convenient that you finished running at the same time. i think it was conveniently planned (by you or her is the question)

  8. Yes, the Nexus. Wasn't just your life. I think you were right that it was the nexus of everyone's life. Seems like everyone can refer to that weekend as a turning point that will always be looked back as "before Atlanta" and "after Atlanta."

    Maybe it was my idea. Boy, it was a great idea. The Festivus is ALL yours though! Maybe Festivus can serve as a reversal. Have you invited "She?"

  9. All I know is, if I hadn't gone on the trip, I currently wouldn't be the co-host of the Internet's 3rd most popular talk show... "The Jeff and Kyle Show"! on FM 89.7 The Owl, up all night. Hoot Hoot!

  10. The track/trail/race would be perfect for me. I'm always in a good mood after running. I feel open to chat, too, if there is an obvious commonality. Excuse me, I think I need a cocktail.

  11. What was it like? Very scary. But then, all fundies scare me (fundies being people who use whatever their religion is to validate their personal choices). There weren't any candles, but her dagger pendant kept stabbing me. Without anyone touching it. Very weird.

  12. I'd say any place where it doesn't seem cliche to hit on someone. I hate being hit on in bars. I almost feel like it's scripted. I'm out with the girls, he's out with the boys, alcohol is flowing freely, and eventually you have to take a shot at someone and hope you don't go home alone. I guess I'd most want to be hit on by a guy at a place where I like hanging out - bookstores, cafes, that kind of thing. One, I wouldn't feel like he was there just to be on the prowl. And two, it would indicate at least a superficial compatibility. Plus, if he hits on me in the travel section in the middle of the afternoon, I don't feel like he's just trying to get into my pants and convince me to go home with him. maybe that's naive though.

    Being hit on on a blog is always nice too :-)

  13. Crys: It was more of a generic account of several similar situations.

    Buzz: Again, thanks for that. No, she will not be at Festivus. Thanks for bringing up the Nexus though. I think that I will include that on my "selected posts."

    Kyle: Looks like everything has worked out very well for you.

    Spanky: Duly noted.

    Coyote: Hmm. Did her eyes seem to glow? I knew a Wiccan once. Lots of candles.

    Lizzie: (Taking notes... cafe... bookstore... travel section... mid-afternoon...)

    Interesting comment. Thanks. And yes, I hear blogs are a great place to meet :-)

  14. Well, she was also going through a divorce and had college bills to pay. I don't think she could afford candles.

  15. My sister is Wiccan, and single. Maybe I could fix you up with her just for experience. Yes, lots of candles...and rocks. Her blog is, My Thoughts Exactly. Makes for interesting family dinners. A mormon, a wiccan, 2 "Don't give a ----" and a "NANANANANANANA I don't hear you". Fun. Almost like Festivus with SHE.

  16. oh..and you should take out OCG.

  17. I'm a little late, but I'll add my two cents anyway...

    I agree with most here, that the bookstore is a great place to be hit on, especially if he's near 'S' in the fiction section, there's nothing hotter than a man who reads Salinger, it's my little obsession.
    moving on...

    Also the grocery store, wouldn't be so bad. I've also been hit on in a music store. Not a music store like Best Buy, but the instrument repair place. I played the clarinet he played the bassoon. That's true love right there.

    And like OCG said, if you were to hit on me somewhere, I'd be more than obliged.

  18. So Bone...

    Your place or mine?


  19. Bone, I think OCG and I might have to fight over you. Sad, but true.

  20. Girls have this problem too. A friend of mine at lunch on Friday was just saying how she had passed an attractive male on the way to the restaurant that fit her prerequisites. They exchanged glances several times....but nothing.

    It takes a lot of balls to go up to someone and make a "cold call" if you will. Plus, he was with a girl....scrreeeching halt.

    It's more about the awkwardness that might ensue the next time you bump into them. Otherwise - who cares? Strike up a convo. If it's somewhere you've seen them before - you don't even have to ask them out that time, knowing you'll see them again. You can in a following meeting if things seem to go well.

    Some more comfortable options would be a party, a happy hour for young professionals, a ball game, the park (try taking a dog to the park - it's a great way to meet people), a Mensa meeting (haha), you know whatever floats your boat. If you never stick your neck out there, you'll never know. But what do I know? I'm still single.

    Things I don't recommend from recent experience: dating someone you work with OR dating someone too closely knit into your social circle. Can be REAL awkward when it dosen't work out. Then you have a custody battle for friends. it's not pretty.

  21. Sallwood: A mormon, a Wiccan... sounds like the beginning of a joke.

    Heather: Oh, I bet he used the old "Do you wanna see my bassoon" line.

    And there's nothing sad about a little fight over Bone... as long as jello is involved ;-)

    OCG: I feel like we're on Blove Connection. "Well, let's see who the audience picked for you. Oh, they chose OC Girl as well. If you two blovers would like to go out again, we'll pay for the date."

    Tenacious: I find girls are much more friendly with me when I'm out with a girl. Also, married women seem to be much more chatty.

    Yes, I agree. Keep your friends and dating life separate. Or worlds will collide.

  22. tSounds like it would be a riot, right? Who wouldn't want that "holiday cheer"? But alas, I can't make up fiction better than the nofic that is my life. Oh, and my sister's blog is at . ( I mentioned I was the mormon, right?)

    Use the force, Luke and let us know how it turns out.

  23. I could just always hold an auction and pimp you out.

  24. Sallwood: Will check out both blogs that you mentioned. May the force be with me.

    Lass: That would just be pathetic... that being said, wonder how much I would bring ;-)