The Contest

Pia is having a contest to decide the perfect song for me. So think about it. What song fits Bone? Click on the link to head over to her site and tell her what you think my song should be. If she gets enough 'ments, she has promised to invite me to her first book signing, mention me on Regis & Kelly, and allow me to do the Pia Reality Tour. OK, not really. But maybe.

So yesterday was holiday shopping with Bone. Went straight to the mall after work. Didn't get home until after 10:00. On the radio, I was listening to some call-in show. They were pretty much talking about the exact thing I mentioned the other day with the Hardees girl. One guy called and said if he met a girl who worked at McDonald's, he'd be excited and tell all his buddies about her. But if a girl met a guy who worked at McDonald's, she probably wouldn't tell her friends where he worked and she'd be telling him everyday to find a new job. I was like, dude's been reading my blog! While we're on the subject, I saw Meg Ryan again this morning. Got her name this time. Her real name.

Anyway, while walking thru the mall with the handles from seven bags cutting off the circulation in my hands, I was stricken with a sudden bout of SNGLAIPOA depression (she's-not-gonna-like-anything-I-pick-out-anyway). It was accompanied by a bit of what-am-i-even-doing-here-itis. Fortunately, that was short-lived.

But shopping for girls is difficult. Clothes-wise anyway. I mean, it's gotta fit just right in all these different places. So maybe it's foolish to even try. I should get something for effort though, right? Plus, in many of these stores, I'm the only guy in there. Normally, being the only guy in a sea of mostly attractive, well-dressed women is not a problem. It's a dream. A fantasy. But I digress...

Let me just say this. If you work in retail, in a women's clothing store or in the women's department, and a guy walks in by himself, especially this time of year, please offer to help him. Because chances are, he really needs it.

On the positive side of this shopping for girls thing, I usually always implore a strategy of finding an attractive sales associate and asking her for help. I did this a couple of times yesterday. In one store, a very helpful (and rather voluptuous) girl even offered to try on an item I was considering. Who am I to stand in the way of excellent customer service. So while I stood there staring trying to decide, she said, "Shopping for girls can be hard." Yeah, like I don't know that.

After shopping, it felt like an Arby's night. So while I was in the area, I called up James (from the first girl I ever called story). He is the only person I know who is anywhere near as big a Seinfeld fanatic as me. We could talk about Seinfeld for hours. He'll be at the Festivus party.

Most interesting item of the day: Metrosexual Cartman

"I'll be home for Christmas. You can plan on me. Please have snow and mistletoe, and presents on the tree..."