Tuesday, November 30, 2004

The Office Christmas Party

The secret of life is a quality blog entry. As you can see, I'm still searching...

Office Xmas Party
Well, the memo came around today. Our office Christmas party is going to be Tuesday, Decemeber 21st. It's going to be in Decatur this year, so that's new. If you would like to accompany me, please send an email, including a photo of yourself (if I don't know what you look like), and at least two references who can verify that it is indeed you in the photo. Winner will be selected on a first come, first (attractive) served basis.

Seriously, I have noticed several blogs discussing this topic recently. The office holiday party. I will most likely go to mine... more than likely by myself. It's not a huge deal to me. Are you going to yours? Is your going dependent on whether or not you have a date?

The Oprah recap
I watched the Seinfeld cast on Oprah yesterday. It was OK. My only complaint was it was 75% Jerry Seinfeld and 25% the show. They brought out Jerry first, then talked to his wife a bit. Jason Alexander didn't come out until like 25 minutes in, and Michael Richards didn't come out until like 40 minutes into the show. But, I'll take what I can get. It's not like I'm not going to watch. Besides, it was good just to see the big four together one more time.

I think as a rule, it is just difficult, painful even, for a guy to watch Oprah. I don't know what it is, but there's some undefinable quality about that show that just makes me want to change the channel. That was the first time I've watched Oprah in a long, long time. Well, that is, if you don't count last week when Barry Manilow was on there. What?! So I enjoy hearing him sing "Mandy." Is that so wrong? It's a good song.

The rest of the day, I did a little laundry. Ran to Jack's to get some dinnah. I saw Tammy S. there. I have not seen her since probably 1998 or something. It was definitely in the pre-Atlanta era anyway. I think I may have to write an entry soon about the whole '99 Atlanta trip.

"Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy. Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking, and I need you today, oh Mandy..."

Monday, November 29, 2004

Matchbox Empty?

(excerpt from interview with MB20 guitarist Kyle Cook)
"Everybody in Matchbox was wanting to move on. I shouldn't say move on because Matchbox wants to make another record. We're going to make a 4th record."
Complete Interview

Has the final match been struck? I hope not. Matchbox Twenty became my favorite band not long after I first saw the video for "Push" back in 1997, and has been since. Looks like they are definitely on a break. Plans are to come back for another record at some point, but who knows?

"And we always say, it would be good to go away someday. Yeah, but if there's nothing there to make things change, if it's the same to you, I'll just hang, the same to you, I'll always hang..."

Seinfeld DVD "Hidden" Extras

Here are 3 of the hidden things (so-called easter eggs) on the Seinfeld DVD set that I have found/been told about so far. They're all from the Seasons 1&2 set.

1. An early camera test - On Disk 1, from the main menu, select "extras". Then press up twice to highlight the jalopeño and select it. This is just a camera test with Jerry walking around the apartment so that they can adjust the lighting and colors and such.

2. "The Bet" - On Disk 3, from the main menu, select "extras", then select "inside looks". Hit left once to highlight the fortune cookie and then select it. This is the story of the never-aired episode "The Bet." It dealt with Elaine getting a gun and they scrapped it fairly early in the filming.

3. Split-screen - On Disk 4, from the main menu, select "setup", then scroll down to episodes and hit up to highlight the green pea. Select it. This takes you to a split-screen demonstration comparing the original scenes to the digitally remastered DVD version.


"Dear Joan, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the screamin' last night and the nights before. I've wanted more from this, than anything I've ever known..."

Long Time, No Blog

I believe the classic song from KC & The Sunshine Band would sum up this weekend best: Shoot a little pool, eat a little food, get down tonight, get down tonight.

Shot pool at The Brick with Kyle, then met up with Bunny at Logan's for dinner. Introduced Bunny to Bizarro Shane. I tell you what, it was really good catching up with friends who were home for the holidays and stuff. It reminded me of how things used to be, before every single person I knew moved to another state. After dinner, we decided to head back to hear Bishop Black for a minute. It was more packed than one of Dick Cheney's arteries in there, so we only stayed probably twenty minutes or so. I think I got home around 12:30, but I'm not real sure. You know how it is. I'm not even sure what that means.

Did a little shopping. The girl at Old Navy was like, "Do you need any gift receipts?" I was like, "Uh, nope. It's all mine." lol That made me feel kinda bad. I was like, "OK, I'm not buying anything else for myself until after Christmas." Then at dinner, I nearly made a big mistake asking Heather if she knew Shanna. She was like, "How do you know where I'm from?" Uhhhh. I made a nice recovery though and then we quickly aborted the mission, withdrew our troops, and retreated. That's stalker-iffic! After that, headed over to the Jazz Factory to shoot pool again. Ended up getting a discount again because I had to wait like 20 minutes to pay, so they only charged us for half an hour, even though we were probably there for an hour and a half or more.

Oh yeah, never get this song stuck in your head:
"My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party ahhhll the tiiiime..."
Because it will stay there ALL night long. (And yes, it was Eddie Murphy.)

The Seinfeld cast reunites on today's Oprah! Don't miss it! Not that you need another reason to watch Oprah. What

On a related note, it's only 24 days until Festivus. Start dusting off the aluminum pole.

Quoted Dysfunction
K: "She didn't answer. No one picked up."
J: "Hmm. They must have Caller ID then."

B: "You're the George Costanza of our group."
K: "Uh, no I'm not. Every group has someone they all make fun of, like us with Elaine."

"How did you know that?"
"Uh, have you ever heard of a website called Google?"

"If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. If my heart had wings..."

Friday, November 26, 2004

So what's new with you?

I had to work today. Did you?

What's new? Let me tell ya...
I heard this question several times the past couple of days. Just once, I would like to have a really good answer when someone asks that. Something like:
"Well, I just got back from the Galapagos Islands. I lived there for six months while doing research."
Or "Not a lot. Oh, by the way, have you met my fiancee? She's from the former Soviet Union. Oh, Svetlana..."
Or "I was just out in Hollywood last week filming an episode of Jeopardy. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but I beat Ken Jennings. It wasn't really even close."

But no, my answer is always the same, "not much." I'm exactly the same as I was five years ago. I guess maybe there's something comforting and reassuring in that. Maybe.

My uncle who lives in Texas asked me yesterday if I was still dating "that girl from Gulf Shores." Wow, that ended like almost 3 years ago. My cousin who still refers to me as "J.T. Love" was there as well. It's always nice to be reminded of that former persona at least once a year by the only person in the entire population of the world who still calls me that.

Last night, Kyle and I had dinner at Cracker Barrell, then watched the Seinfeld special on NBC at 9:00. Do you realize how very close that show came to not ever becoming a series? Imagine what our lives would be like without it? I shudder to think...

Quotes and Dialogue
"She didn't answer when I called. No one picked up."
"Hmm. They must have caller ID."

"Come on, Human Jukebox. You've got 50,000 songs in your head. Think of something."

"There's that guy from Extreme Home Makeover."
"Dude, that's a chick show."
"No, it's not. It's a good show."
"You need to start watching manly shows... like Gilmore Girls."

"Punch the clock, head for home, check the phone, just in case. Go to bed, dream of you. That's what I'm doin' these days..."

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Back To The Future

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! "Gobble gobble goo, and gobble gobble gickel. I wish turkey only cost a nickel."

The Return of Steve-O
Well, lots of people are home for the holidays, so that means there's lots more to do this week. Last night after church, I was going to go shoot pool with Kyle, but the band playing at The Brick was charging a $7 cover charge. So we did a walk out and decided to just go eat. Bunny called my cell phone and decided she was going to join us. We went to Ruby Tuesday. Bunny showed up and we all caught up on what's been going on. I had not seen her in probably close to a year. Also ran into Lee and Roy (flux capacitor boy) up there. Well, the first thing Lee says to Roy is, "This is Jeff. Doesn't he look just like Steve-O?" Wow, I haven't heard that one in a few months. So the entire rest of the night, he refers to me as Steve-O. And later, I would start referring to him as Pontius.

It's 2 AM, I must be... sleepy
After we left RT's, the five of us decided to meet up in Huntsville at the Jazz Factory. Shot several games of pool. There was a lone musician playing a guitar. Each song he played lasted about 30 minutes. The entire time we were there he played 3 songs, I think. Seriouslah. Finally, around 1:00 AM, I was starting to hallucinate from the coke I had because I was so tired. I was starting to see things like two girls dancing with each other. So it was time to leave. What? ("That's probably how lesbianism began. No guys would ask any girls to dance, so they had to resort to dancing with each other.") We parted ways. Bunny, K, and I headed towards home, while Lee and Roy went over to Humphrey's... or back to 1985. One or the other. Kyle's gas light was on, so we stopped at like 3 places on the way that were all closed and their pumps were off. Finally, we found a place open. Bunny was afraid to go in alone so I decided to be a man and since I was the only man available, I went in with her. ("Yes officer, I believe his name was Ahmaal and the symbol for boron. I had a copy of the periodic chart with me at the time. I'm fairly certain it was not manganese.") I got home a little after 2:00.

Back to the future?
When someone in the group has a flux capacitor on their vehicle, conversation will almost always eventually turn to "Back To The Future," if only for a moment. We were discussing this, if you really could go back in time, let's say just to another point in your life, where would you go and what would you change? Hmmm, interesting. Think about that one.

Random humorous utterings
"How far is heaven?"
"Pretty far with the websites I've been visiting."

"You guys want to go to Huntsville?"
"Uh, no, but we would like to hitch a ride back to 1999, if possible."

"You could be married right now."
"Yep. If I had only been more patient."
"Then I'd be sitting here by myself."
"Uh, I think you would've been dead long ago."

"I would give anything if I had..."
"A girlfriend? A life? A date?"
"No. I would give anything if I had video of that conversation we had on the way from New York to Virginia."

"Eat that turkey all night long. Fifty million Elvis fans can't be wrong. Turkey lurkey doo and turkey lurkey dap. I eat that turkey, then I take a nap..."

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Morning Guy vs. Night Guy

What I've learned so far
Well, as you might imagine, I'm happier than Martha Stewart on landscaping day at the women's correctional facility. Giddier than Michael Jackson on field trip day at Neverland. I am LOVING the Seinfeld DVDs! They are planning to release subsequent seasons every six months. So Season 4, with "The Contest", "The Outing", and other classics, is supposed to be here by Summer 2005. Here are a few things I've learned so far:

- An earthquake interrupted the filming of one early episode. Not being from California, Jason Alexander said he'd always heard to stand in a doorway. So while everyone else ran off the stage, he stood in the doorway of the set, with no roof and lights hanging everywhere above him.
- Julia, whose Elaine character was not included in the pilot, has never seen that episode. She's superstitious about it now, and will not watch it.
- Kramer is called Kessler in the first episode. He also has a dog in the first episode that never reappears again in the series.

Night Guy/Morning Guy
I wish I could find the bit Seinfeld does about this. It's so true. I have been telling myself for months now that I need to start going to bed sooner, but still I usually don't end up getting into bed until at least 11:30 or 12:00. Having to get up at 5:30, I'm tired every morning, all day at work, and then when I get home. But still I continue to stay up late. Night guy thinks there's something he might miss if he goes to sleep too early. He doesn't care that morning guy will be more exhausted than a lone Siberian Husky after pulling Roseanne Barr across Alaska in the Iditarod. That's morning guy's problem. No. Night guy wants to watch TV. Someone might get online. Someone might call. I've got time. I'm not tired. Who needs sleep anyway? I'll be fine.

The Van B Boys
This episode was on last night. George has some great lines:
"Every group has someone that they all make fun of. Like us with Elaine."

And then he's interviewing students for the scholarship or whatever:
"What's your favorite animal?"
"Uh. Frog?"
"Frog? Frog is wrong!"

Fun With Quotations
"Bring me a long neck!! Or whatever you call them... then show me how to open it."

"This is the last holiday season I spend alone... or with an English-speaking woman."

"Do you have internet?"
"Yes, but my keyboard and mouse don't work."
"Well, I guess that makes surfing a little tough, huh? What do you have, touch screen or something?

"They said you're in charge of bringing the turkey."
"Uh, well if it doesn't easily fit into a George Foreman grill, there could be a problem."

"Immobilized by the thought of you. Paralyzed by the sight of you. Hypnotized by the words you say. Not true, but I believe anyway..."

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Automated Blog Entry #00127

This entry posted by Bone's Automated Blogging Service on Tuesday, November 23, 2004, at 1550 CST.

Bone is currently unable to blog due to the following reason(s):

Currently enjoying his Seinfeld DVD Gift Set

Stay tuned for further updates. Meanwhile, we invite you to enjoy the following posts from the archives:
What Book Are You?(quiz)
Friends & Doughnuts
Deliver The Toys(game)
Cassettes I Own
Ten Things I've Never Done

Regular blog updates will resume at a later, indeterminate time.

"It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there. It's hard to believe that I'm all alone. At least I have her love, the city she loves me, lonely as I am. Together we cry..."

The day has finally arrived!

Great day in the morning!!! (What does that even mean?) The Seinfeld DVDs are here! I'm bursting, Jerry! I'm bursting!! Is anyone half as excited as me? (The Autumn Of Seinfeld)

I had originally thought about going over to Huntsville to get mine at Best Buy, because I heard they are giving out some sort of bonus DVD with like the first 150 sold at each location. But I think I will just go to Wal-Mart and pick up the gift set. Remember, if your friend, family member, or significant other is a big Seinfeld fan, these make great Christmas gifts. They're perfect for Festivus, too ;-)

In other news, Jerry is supposed to be on Live With Regis & Kelly this morning, and Julia is supposed to be on The View today, although I have never seen that show and don't know where it comes on. Hmmm, DSL and Seinfeld DVD's? I may never leave the house again.

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go. So make the best of this test and don't ask why. It's not a question, but a lesson learned in life..."

Monday, November 22, 2004


John Fitzgerald Kennedy
b. 5/29/17
d. 11/22/63

"A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or regard that quality in its chosen leaders today... and in fact, we have forgotten." - JFK

Sunday, November 21, 2004

A "Stern" Message

Over the past five or six seasons, I have watched very little NBA basketball for various reasons, MJ's retirement among them. To me, there are far too few Grant Hill's and Tim Duncan's in the NBA. Over the past couple of seasons, the only time I watched any part of any game was during the playoffs. During the regular season, my NBA knowledge comes almost exclusively from SportsCenter. That is where I saw the surreal fracas that broke out Friday night near the end of the Pacers/Pistons game in Detroit. It was an ugly scene. Perhaps the saddest part was seeing small children scared to death, with tears in their eyes, seeing some of their heroes doing the unthinkable. Well today, NBA Commissioner David Stern announced suspensions for several players involved. Most notably, Stern suspended Ron Artest for the remainder of the season. Indiana's Stephen Jackson got a 30-game suspension and Jermaine O'Neal got 25. My initial reaction upon hearing this was a resounding Marv Albert-like "YESSS!!"

Stern has suspended two All-Star caliber players for a lengthy period of time, choosing the long-term good of the game over popularity or short-term television ratings. There will be an appeal, and perhaps the suspensions will be reduced, but I hope whoever rules on the appeals realizes what the commissioner realized. A stern message has to be sent, and four or five game suspensions have little effect and basically only serve to give players a break. For example, Artest has been suspended by the NBA seven times over the past two seasons. It obviously has had no effect on his behavior. Stern's decision will not be popular among many, players, media, and fans alike. There are other things to be considered and the league will no doubt have to look at ways to try and prevent this from happening again. But he should be absolutely commended for sending the message that players going into the stands to go after fans will not be tolerated, just as fans cannot be allowed to go onto the court after players.

"Breakin' rocks in the hot sun, I fought the law and the law won. I fought the law and the law won..."

Friday, November 19, 2004

'05 Stang

So what do you think about this?

As the McDonald's commercials say, I'm lovin' it. Jeremy called me today and we got to talking about this car. Even then, I was saying how I didn't really like how the back looked. But now, two hours later, I love it! Of all the cars I've had (and I haven't had that many) my favorite was my Jeep Wrangler. My second favorite was my Mustang. Cartman voice: "Sweeeet." There's a Windvail Blue one on the Ford site that I want for Christmas :-)

"I don't mind spending everyday, out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay awhile, and she will be loved..."

Name Analysis

Happy 25th birthday today to Amber, absolutely one of the sweetest girls I know ;-)

(got this little link from Lorie as I was surfing thru Blog Explosion.)
"Jeffrey as a first name gives you a very independent nature, yet you are friendly, approachable, and generous. You can be a spontaneous, expressive, and talkative person. Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be rather blunt and sarcastic. This name incorporates creative, artistic, and musical abilities, and there would be an element of originality in all that you do. You like to do things on the spur of the moment without planning or prior arrangements. Your spirits are buoyed up greatly by encouragement and appreciation. There is a tendency to be scattering in your efforts and you prefer to avoid menial jobs of a routine and repetitive nature. You are inclined to pursue good times and emotional indulgences to excess. Weaknesses in health due to the influence of this name centre in the head. You could experience headaches, or difficulties with your teeth, ears, eyes, or sinuses. Disorders related to the liver, which would be aggravated by rich foods, could also arise."

(Yes, Jeffrey is my real first name.) Do you think that describes me? I think it's mostly accurate, especially "You like to do things on the spur of the moment without planning or prior arrangements." Wow, that's me more than anything. I do have migraine headaches, have glasses and contacts, and actually underwent tests last year because I thought I had some liver problems. Well, it's interesting anyway.

Get your own name analysis here. How accurate is yours?

All this talk makes me want to play the name game. "Bone, Bone, bo Bone. Banana fana fo fone. Fe fi mo mone. Bone!"

"By now in New York City, there's snow on the ground. And out in California, the sunshine's falling down. And maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights..."

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Obligatory television entry

On my way home yesterday, I was thinking, I am really afraid to stick my hand underneath the seat in my truck. Really. I'm not lying. I'm afraid something might bite it...

This dialogue occurred tonight:
"So what did you do today?"
"Oh, nothing much. Watched Gilmore Girls and took a nap."
"That's manly."

Yes, I watched Gilmore Girls today, for the first time ever. I actually didn't know what it was while I was watching it. I thought it was some movie on ABC Family. Then when it was going off, they flashed the name on the screen. What?! I couldn't believe I had actually sat there and watched an entire episode of Gilmore Girls, and was somewhat captivated by it. What is happening here? It reminds me of the Seinfeld where Jerry is ashamed to admit he watches Melrose Place. One thing I do know is that Lauren Graham is pretty good lookin'. Do you know which episode of Seinfeld she appeared in?

I can't believe that I saw an HP commercial today that actually used the phrase "mix CD." For some reason, that reminds me of a Friends episode. Of course, back then, and back in my day, it was a mix tape, rather than a mix CD:

Chandler: I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
Monica: Oh, what a great gift! Is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it?
Chandler: (pause) Maybe... we'll have to listen and see.

"It's all right, it's all right, all right. She moves in mysterious ways..."

Buddy List Survivor

Blogging away while singing that old-time children's favorite, "Blog Some While You Work". Everybody whistle along...

Happy Birthday, Sis!
My baby sister turns 24 today! I can't believe she is 24. Anyway, I'm not writing anything sentimental or mushy today. Besides, I already did that last year. What's better than that? An entire blog entry for your birthday. Money can't buy that. Give the gift of blog this holiday season, my friends. You can't beat it.

Buddy List Survivor
I was talking to a friend the other night online on AOL IM under my new screen name. Well, they asked if I was going to be able to keep my old screen name, and I said I did not know. At this point, this person told me that they could not add a second screen name for me to their buddy list.

Have you experienced this? The space is too valuable. At last check, I believe AOL IM allowed 175 buddies to be listed. Often I find myself on the receiving end of a random IM from a chick. At some point, a decision must be made as to whether to add this person to my buddy list. Once I decide to add a new name to my list, then an old name must be cut, so as to keep the number at 175. It's a very difficult decision. It's like Buddy List Survivor! Or maybe Weakest Link. You are the weakest buddy. Goodbye.

(FYI, AOL would not let me re-register my old screen name, at least not yet. So my new name tfn is BamaBone73.)

Poor squirrel
I hit a squirrel the other day driving home from work. I hate that. I hate it, hate it, hate it!!!! I saw it from a good distance and kept thinking it would eventually run off the road, but instead it would take like a couple of steps and stop. I was saying, "Go, squirrel. Go!!! Go little squirrel." But it did not move. I tried to miss it, but I hit it :-( That ruined my afternoon.

Ebay and BE
How can you not luh Ebay? Sold our pair of tickets to the game this weekend for $350 on Ebay. Face value is $50 each, so that's like a $250 profit. Not bad. So I'll most likely go somewhere to watch the game on TV Saturday.

In other news, I was surfing Blog Explosion Tuesday, trying to earn some mystery credits. Well, at first, it was only taking 5 or 10 sites before they awarded some. Well, Tuesday I visited 54 sites before I finally won 3 mystery credits. Sheesh. As far as how well BE be working, my hits are up probably 50-75%, but I'm sure most people are just waiting for the 30-second clock to count down so that they can move on and earn more points.

"Or maybe head up north to Knoxville, Tennessee. I know my baby sister has got a couch where I can sleep..."

Wednesday, November 17, 2004


Well, my friends, you can add this to my Xmas list right now...

That looks really soft and comfy ;-) Posted by Hello
(from Tech Japan)

Just in time for the holidays, introducing the Girlfriend's Lap Pillow. All the comfort and security of falling asleep in your girlfriend's lap, except without the hassle or cost of finding or keeping a girlfriend. You'll be so comfortable that you probably won't even realize that her body has been completely shorn off above the torso. No, you'll sleep like a baby, knowing you're safe in her arms um... legs. Tight red mini-skirt added for effect... or for some other strange, unknown reason.

As the old saying goes, what will they think of next?

"And she loved to be held and kissed and touched, but I didn't do it, not nearly enough. And if I'd have known that was gonna be our last dance, I'd have asked the band to play on and on, and on and on and on. I'd do a lot of things different..."

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Fun With Spyware

...Some of my favorite times were when we would go on road trips, to the beach, to an amusement park, or to a ballgame. We might be five hundred miles away from home, but we were always at home as long as we were together. And to look over at her in the car and see that she had fallen asleep, that is truly one of the most precious gifts a man could ever hope to receive. I would wonder what she was dreaming about, and I would think how cool it was that she trusted me and felt completely safe with me. That is a wonderful feeling...

Fun With Spyware
Wow, I have spent the larger part of the past two afternoons trying to get my computer straightened out. It apparently has not been defragmented since the Carter administration, and I've been trying to get rid of hundreds of objects of spyware. There is still something hijacking the browser though when I click on a certain link and taking me to a search page. I tell you what, I'm about to hijack something. Help.

Monday TV Funhouse... TV Funhouse
I had planned to stay in last night due to several things coming on TV that I wanted to catch. Well, Dallas got creamed by the Eagles on MNF. I watched a bit of the Maria Sharapova/Serena Williams tennis match. Maria won!! We celebrated last night... I celebrated here and she celebrated wherever she was. Then Seinfeld was on Letterman last night. I know, I didn't get around to telling you beforehand. I meant to, but computer problems kept me from blogging much. I hope you caught it anyway. Some good standup, of course, with just a mention of the DVDs (which are just a week away). That was one of the best Late Shows I have seen though. Alle Coulter broke out into his own rendtion of GNR's "November Rain" in the middle of the show. lol That was great. The top ten was Top Ten Colin Powell Complaints. The only one I can remember is "George Bush repeatedly asking which state are you secretary of." :-D

Do you remember your first...
...computer? An IBM? Please. Commodore? Apple? Nice, but I probably still got you beat. Mine was a high-tech TRS-80 from Radio Shack, featuring cassette tape storage. No monitor, just hook her into a television set. The original web TV... without the web. I remember it came with a little programming booklet, because well, you had to write a program before it would do anything other than type. And to save my programs, which I only did like a couple of times, I would hook up a portable cassette player and save them on a cassette tape. No monitor. No printer. It was hardcore. Those were the days.

The funnies
J: "Man, this year has flown by."
K: "Another year, no dates."

"How much do you pay for your domain?"
"$120 a year, or so."
"Wow, that's like two tanks of gas."

"Now I'm starting to see, maybe it's got nothing to do with me. Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do..."

The time I met Ronald Reagan

Awww... Posted by Hello

See? I could be a dad. lol Well, this is a picture taken a couple of weeks ago during my first meeting with Ronald Michael Landon Reagan McNeill. OK, actually, just Reagan Landon. Wow, next to the tiny baby, my hands look abnormally gargantuan. Notice the LMV check I'm carefully holding in my left hand. lol (Thanks to Shane for the pic and Dea for her help.)

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. Nothing ain't worth nothing, but it's free..."

Monday, November 15, 2004

Free association

1. Childhood:: memories; playing outside
2. Ransom:: note; Mel Gibson
3. Melissa:: Marisa; babysitter
4. Trust me:: oh yeah, right; George Bush
5. Report:: back; GI Joe
6. Give up:: surrender; no faith
7. Nightgown:: old people; flannel
8. Smokes:: Joe (?); tshirt
9. Cookies & cream:: ice cream; rich
10. Gameshow:: host; Tic-Tac-Dough

"I can't wait to see you. Want to see if you still got that look in your eyes. The one you had for me, before we said our goodbyes..."

Saturday, November 13, 2004

But it's Saturday...

I was lying in bed this morning when the phone rang. Had to go into work to straighten out some computer problems. Long story, but you know how some people seem to have a lot of technical knowledge, but absolutely no common sense? Yes, well that's the guy who works on our computers. He removed one of the computers from our network yesterday. Well, the more I thought about things, the more I became concerned that some problems were going to arise today. So I call the guy yesterday and tell him what I thought, and as per usual, he talks to me like I have no clue what I'm talking about, and says everything should be fine. So, what happens? Major problems. So I have to drag out of bed and drive into work on Saturday to remedy his error. Where is he? Probably sitting on his 250 pound tail eating Doritos and playing some online video game. I mean, this is the same guy who was trying to back up everything last year and lost about 40% of our files. Yet somehow it's never his fault. Yes, I've put in my opinion that we use someone else, but no one listens to me. OK, I had to get that out.

On to other things... I dozed off yesterday about 5:00. Kyle called about 8:30 and woke me up wanting to head over to Huntsville. Now 8:30 is pretty late for me to start out for the evening, but I was rested. So we went to eat. Katie and Heather were working, so that was nice. Then it was off to the Jazz Factory to shoot some pool. It wasn't too crowded. Something must have been going on elsewhere, and oddly, I wasn't told about it.

Looks like some options are shaping up for New Year's Eve:
1)Get a group of people and spend the weekend at the lake house (or the house that's within five miles of a lake).
2)Fly to Mt. St. Helen's, camp out, and ring in the New Year with some natural fireworks. (Maybe that should be option 1).

"Whatever happend to sitcoms, game shows? On the radio was Springsteen, Madonna. Way before Nirvana, there was U2 and Blondie, and music still on MTV..."

Friday, November 12, 2004

The bank story and Ron Artest

11 days until the DVD about nothing arrives. Gggggggggggghhhhh!!

I went to the bank yesterday...
I pulled in, and there was a lady outside emptying the trash. Odd, I thought. There was only one car in the parking lot, but it's never very crowded. So I pull on around to the drive-thru and notice that the lights which signify which lanes are open/closed weren't working. 'Man, this bank's going to pot,' I thought. I get up to the window and there are no tellers inside. Very weird. It was about five seconds later that I realized it was Veterans Day and that my bank was closed. So I quickly pulled away hoping no one saw me.

You see the types of things that happen to me? On a good note, I "rolled thru" a stop sign today on my way back from the store. The instant I turned, there was a cop passing by going the opposite way. Fortunately, he did not stop me. Whew. At work, my computer got confiscated. (No, not by the FBI.) It was sick, so they took it to the doctor. On a somewhat related note, I may be looking for a job soon. What?

Eat Mor Chikin
Shot pool and ate at Applebees last night. Saw several people we knew at The Brick. Christmas Open House was going on downtown or something so it was pretty crowded. Got an unexpected phone call while I was there. Don't you love those? Applebees was deader than Al Gore's political career. Seriouslah. I'm not sure what's going on (although I have a pretty good idea). Derrick was up there, but he was gone before we had a chance to talk to him about the TV thing. About the best part of the night was the absence of any leather.

I don't believe I'd have told that
I haven't watched one minute of an NBA game this year, but I do watch SportsCenter. Apparently, the oft-troubled Ron Artest, who plays for the Pacers, did something that caused the team to suspend him for two games. So they're showing him being interviewed the other day and some reporter asks him, "Your coach said you compromised the integrity of the team. How do you respond to that?" Artest replies, "I don't know what that means...... I need to find a dictionary... I don't even know what integrity means." Exactly.

"Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach. I feel it in the air, the summer's out of reach. Empty lake, empty streets, the sun goes down alone. I'm drivin' by your house. No, no, you're not home..."

Friday Five

(the somewhat-new Friday Five)
1. Do you trust your instincts?
Absolutely. Several times I have doubted them only to find out later they were right. No more. I always trust my instincts now, cos my instincts are honed!

2. Get up and go or plan, plan, plan?
Mostly get up and go. I don't even usually like to plan a day ahead. I can't commit to anything farther out than that, unless it's something really major. You never know when something better might come up.

3 Do you ask for directions when you are lost or do you keep on going?
I've never been lost. All I need is my handy compass. Just steer by the sun and stars and you'll be fine. No, honestly... umm. It just depends on many factors. Who's in the car with me? Do I have to be somewhere by a certain time? Am I in a "safe-looking" area? Is there a cute girl putting gas in her car that I could stop and ask? (Remember the Columbia, TN, gig? lol) I really can't remember very many times when I was lost.

4. Right now: do you know which way is east?
Um.. I have to think for a few seconds, but yes, I am. East is to my right. Unless I turn this way. Then it's straight ahead. Right?

5. If a tree falls in the woods, and no one hears it -- did it make a noise?
Yes. Geez, someone is hard up for questions.

"I keep telling myself, this is the right thing to do. I was wasting her time waitin' on dreams that just weren't comin' true..."

Nocturnal Phantasm #1104A

I dreamed the other night that Bunny and I drove to Los Angeles to see Jeremy. I just remember Bunny drove and I remember her saying it took us like 15 hours to get there, which seemed like a long time in the dream, but in reality, it would take much longer. Anyway, when we arrived, I remember we had no idea where anything was, so we pulled into this abandoned parking lot and called Namie on my cell phone. (Which reminds me, I had forgotten my phone charger, so I knew my batteries were not going to last the entire trip.) There was another car in the parking lot, and for some reason, we must have gotten out. So it's like a family or whatever, and as they start to leave, I notice the guy has a wallet in his hand that looks exactly like mine. I realize he has picked my pocket. So with one lightning quick swoop of my hand and deft precision, I knock the wallet out of his hand and pick it up. He knows it's mine, so he doesn't say anything, and the rest of the trip I stick the wallet in my front pocket.

The next thing I remember is meeting Jeremy somewhere. Somehow Jeremy and I ended up going to Wal-Mart together, while Bunny went to a different Wal-Mart by herself. Well the Wal-Marts out there are so crowded that you have to wait in line at the door, and as a spot comes open, this "buggy boy" will bring you an empty shopping cart and you can enter. So I shop around for some laundry detergent and other things I think Bunny and I will need. The only other thing I remember about it is standing on the side of some road and there were some people selling produce and I bought some. Then after I had bought it, some other guy comes and sets out these gargantuan pumpkins, and I'm like, but Halloween is soooo last week. Literally.

"Cos nothing lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change. And it's hard to hold together, in the cold November rain..."

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Thank you

Veterans Day, 2004 Posted by Hello

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and the success of liberty." - John F. Kennedy

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

A bachelor's tale...

An interesting list?
Here is a list of things I purchased at Wal-Mart this afternoon:
- 10 ct. box of chocolate chip granola bars
- Bottle of Spray 'N' Wash (which didn't really work)
- 4 pk. of Duracell batteries
- A CD I didn't need
- Halls Defense Vitamin C drops (getting close to that time)
- 12 pk. Nestle bottled water

Why did I get a new CD? Why? I can't afford it. I didn't need it. I have medical bills coming out the ying-yang. Yet still I can't resist. Oh well, it's just less that the court will be able to take when I file bankruptcy :-P And why am I buying Spray 'N' Wash? What happened to my life? If I have a stain, I should just wear it anyway, or throw the shirt away. That's what a true bachelor would do. On another note, do the people who produce batteries just think they can charge whatever the crap they want for these precious portable cells of energy? Apparently. They should put these things on the futures markets. "Gold is down a dollar today. Silver, down a nickel. And batteries remain strong, up seventeen cents."

The evening
After church, I met K up at Logan's for some dinner. I was starving as all I had for lunch was part of a peanut butter & banana sandwich. Well, we sat with some new chick who didn't know us... so we both ordered water. Well, while we're waiting to order, the really short girl brings over a slip of paper and a spoon. Written on the paper are the words "From Shanna Fer" (which is what I call her). So I'm a little confused. I look up and see her across the way and she's smiling real big and says, "It's for your macaroni & cheese!" Well, that's a long story. Anyway, I'm not sure what any of that is supposed to mean.

The good stuff
"We'll surprise her."
"Speak to her. That'll surprise her."

"Ask her. She'll know."
"No. She's too stoned. She won't know."

"Dude, it's like we're here in Afghanistan about to capture Osama, and you want to run off to Iraq to look for Wes."

"I don't stop breathing everytime the phone rings. My heart don't race when someone's at my door. I've almost given up thinking you're ever gonna call. I don't believe in magic anymore..."

Winners and Losers

I actually got to watch the CMA Awards last night. Ever since I can remember they were on a Wednesday night, so I usually missed part of them, but they moved them to Tuesday this year. My favorite part (as you well know if you were online chatting with me last night) was seeing Kris Kristofferson inducted into the Hall of Fame. He is absolutely cool.
Over the past five or six years, I've really not listened to the new country music as much. They definitely feature a wide range on the CMA's, from Willie and Dolly, to George Strait and Reba, to... Big & Rich? One question... why? (I bet Lonestar regrets everyday that Rich left the band... or not.)
It was good to see Kenny win his first CMA's ever. I reckon he deserved them. I guess the big controversy was him getting cut off after winning Entertainer of the Year. Dolly Parton was the big problem (no pun intended). She rambled for like five minutes about nothing, before she gave the nominees. I still think they would have let him finish until he was like, "Don't start that music, I've waited 12 years for this. I'm gonna finish." Umm, guess what? You're not. I really liked Brooks & Dunn's new song, too. And they seemed like naturals as the hosts.

You're All Winners Losers!
(My politically correct side exits momentarily...) Somehow, someway, I ended up on some channel which was airing a reality show called "Biggest Loser." I was like ten minutes into watching before I realized they didn't mean "loser" as in failure, can't get a date, has no self-esteem, etc. They meant "loser" as in who can lose the most weight. So there are all these fat people up there. So, fine. I respect anyone who is at least trying to lose weight, but do they have to take off their shirts to weigh? I mean, there's like five men and five women, and they ALL have breasts, and the men all take off their shirts before weighing. Look, if it's not OK to show women's breasts, then it shouldn't be OK to show men's. That's all I'm sayin'. Some of these men were in serious need of a mansierre, seriouslah!! I mean, just leave the shirt on. If you weigh 300 pounds, I got news for you, that ultra-thin cotton t-shirt isn't what's tipping the scales. I'm afraid you're more than a couple of tweaks away from being healthy. OK, I just had to get that out. All I'm saying is just leave the shirts on. I sure don't think it's drawing more viewers, at least I hope not. Well, if you're offended and never read my blog again, well, I understand. That just means more bon-bons for the rest of us!! Wow, that is so wrong. I'm probably gonna be really fat one day now.

I wanna be a horoscope writer...
Here is my horoscope for today... "The Sun is in Scorpio and the Moon is in Libra. Learn just as much as you can, especially about beautiful things from afar. Pay attention! This could lead to great career advancements."

Of course, every horoscope could be applied to basically anyone. That's the problem. If I ever become a horoscope writer, I would be really specific, like this:
"If you own a frisbee, do not throw it today."
"I could not see the stars for the clouds last night, so I was unable to make a reading. Therefore, I would advise you to stay inside all day long and stay away from all windows and electrical appliances. You can take a bath, but do not shower. You might slip and fall."

"Tryin' to make this old town new again, color other than blue again. I'd have something to do again, instead of thinking 'bout you again..."

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

My town...

(from Tuesday Twosome.)

1. Name two things you love about the city/town you live in:
1. People wave as you drive down the street.
2. Um, we're getting a Wal-Mart Super Center, finally. lol

2. Name two things you dislike about the city/town you live in:
1. Very few single girls, because the majority have kids and/or get married by the time they're 19 or 20. But that goes for most of the state.
2. No Krystals or Captain D's. (Hmm, maybe that's a good thing.) Oh, and our Pizza Hut doesn't deliver. ROFL Wow, all this really sounds a lot worse when you type it out for all to see.

3. Name two cities/towns you would live in if you couldn't live where you are now:
Easy. New York or Nashville. I have thought often about those.

4. Are you a "true local" (born and raised) or a transplant of the city/town you live in?
Pretty much. I was born about 30-40 miles from where I live now, so "in the area" anyway.

5. Do you like to leave your city/town when you have a long weekend or do you like to stay home?
I like to get out of town. Occasionally it's good to just relax at home, though.

"I stay up with the late, late show. It's just another way I know, to get thru one night a day..."

Monday, November 08, 2004

The Most Wonderful Time...

Seinfeld Trivia
When George runs into Susan at the video store, what movie is he returning?

Wednesday's answer: Michigan (The Bottle Deposit, Pt. 2)

It's beginning to look a lot like... that time...
There is a local radio station (99.1) which for the past couple of years has switched to all Christmas music during December and maybe late November. Well, I flipped over there Friday on my way home from work, and they've already started... on November 5th. Christmas music 24/7! Wow. I love that time of the year. I love it, I love it, I love it!!

Now I can be online all the time!!!
Not that I wasn't already. My DSL package came in today! ("Me so happy. Me so happy, me want to cry.") Got everything installed and working. Then I called AOL to cancel my account, after seven long, successful... or just long... years. Have you ever tried this? Cancelling AOL is quite the ordeal. The fact that the service rep sounded like he had just immigrated from downtown Basra last Tuesday didn't help either. Shouldn't speaking clearly be one of the requirements for a customer service position? Anyway, all I kept thinking was this must be similar to what adopting a child feels like.

I think I'm gonna fix some dinner and get ready to watch "Listen Up!" You should, too. Gonna try to catch Tom Hanks and Nelly on Letterman later.
So, umm... later.

"I have built my world around a memory, and she's the only one that I let in..."

That Sunday free association thing...

...on Monday:

Small Talk:: chit chat
Evidence:: irrefutable
Drifting:: cowboy
Hostage:: situation
Beauty:: the beast
Automatic:: transmission
Asking for it:: thoughts
Visine:: eyes
No string attached:: relationships
Frizz:: David Frizzell?

"Please make this stop. Stop. And bring back Springsteen, Madonna. Way before Nirvana, there was U2 and Blondie, and music still on MTV..."

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Gotta Getcha Some

Blogging away while somebody somewhere is wondering why you never hear about a psychic winning the lottery...

You gotta see the bay-bee
It's been a hectic weekend so far. Headed up to Nashville after work Friday afternoon. Shot some pool. The guy undercharged us, so we played an hour and a half for like $2.50. There were way too many hotties downtown, so we left...?? After that was the obligatory stop at Famous Dave's. The new parents met us up there for dinner. We ended up going back to their place and I ended up holding the baby the entire time. Yep, that's it. I gotta get me one. It's funny how babies and old people are so much alike: Sleep a lot. Don't really know what's going on. Use the bathroom whenever you want.

Most of yesterday was taken up at the Bama game. I slept until nearly Noon. (Very nice.) Left for the game around 1:45 and got home about 11:30. It was good. The weather was great. It was good and cold by kickoff time, great football weather. Bama won 30-14, and for the first time ever, the Alabama dance team came out at the end of the 3rd quarter, dressed in black shorts and houndstooth hats, and danced in the end zone. The best part was that they danced to parts of Paradise City, Sweet Child O' Mine, and Welcome To The Jungle. (OK, so that wasn't the best part, but it was still cool.) I think I could get used to this. lol

All My Exes
During an IM conversation with ex-g/f #12b Friday:
Me: "So when are you getting married?"
Her: "May 14th"
Me: "Hang on a second while I stab this letter opener thru my skull."
Me: "I mean, congratulations."

Other funnies
"How much is your DSL?"
"I really have no idea. My parents pay for it."

"You usually know what they drive before you've even talked to them."

"It's not captain. It's cap'n."

"Some things in this world, man, they don't make sense. Some things you don't need until they leave you, then they're things that you miss..."

Friday, November 05, 2004

Interview With A Blogger

Well, I've had lots of requests for this (or no requests at all). Nevertheless, here is my pseudo-interview with Blogger Illustrated:

BI: Hello, Bone. May we call you Bone?
Me: Bone, Mister Bone, or Grand Master B.

BI: First off, congratulations on being named Blogmate of the Month for November.
Me: Uh, thanks. But do I really have to wear this skin-tight turquoise top?

BI: Oh, trust us, you'll get used to it. So, tell us a little about your blog. How did you get started?
Me: Well, like a lot of bloggers, I was not raised in a blogging family. Blogging was not even talked about when I was growing up. It was taboo. I was basically introduced to blogging by a friend and then self-taught myself to blog by reading other blogs and incorporating my own ideas.

BI: Did you read any books on blogging?
Me: No. But I have heard that Blogging for Dummies is good. Also My Kingdom For A Blog.

BI: Do you read any books at all, Master B?
Me: No, not really. I used to read, but now blogging consumes most of my free time.

BI: Have you considered someday writing a book?
Me: Yes, I have just received a $3 advance to begin writing "The Passion Of The Blogger." And also have a rough draft of "How To Get Out Of Any Relationship" which I'm currently shopping around to publishers.

BI: Well, since you brought up relationships, all the ladies out there are dying to know, what's your current situation?
Me: Well, I am single as of this moment. See my last answer.

BI: Is it difficult to have both a successful blog and a successful relationship?
Me: Um, yeah. The blogging is what makes the relationship difficult. Yeah... sure. That's it.

BI: Would you consider dating a non-blogger?
Me: Definitely. At least then maybe one of us would be normal.

BI: What do you look for in a potential mate?
Me: Female is my #1 requirement. Most everything else is negotiable.

BI: Do you feel pressure when you sit down to blog?
Me: Yes. Everytime I place my fingers on the keyboard. I probably always will. I hope so. Because once you stop feeling the pressure, once that entry no longer means quite as much to you as it used to, then my blogging friend, then it is time to quit and pass the keyboard on to someone else.

BI: Where do you get your material?
Me: Dreams, mostly. Visions. Usually in the shower. Alien abductions. Hmm, that's about it.

BI: What do you know about Area 51?
Me: Area 51?

BI: Yes. You know, Roswell.
Me: Roswell? Didn't he sing "Somebody's Watching Me" back in the eighties?

BI: Um, nevermind. Back to blogging. Do you ever go thru dry spells?
Me: All the time. I like to call these spells "blogger's block." It goes in cycles. Sometimes as bloggers, I believe we may enter into the fabled "zone," maybe for a day or two, maybe for a week or longer. But in the "zone", every entry is "on." There seems to be an endless supply of thoughts and ideas just flowing from my brain to the keyboard. I don't know how I got there, and when it's over, I have no idea how to get back, much like getting a second date with a hot chick. It's like one day I'm thinking, "How am I ever going to blog all this?" Then the next day my mind is as barren as the surface of the moon. And what few thoughts I do have are in like hieroglyphics or something, so that I can't even decode them.

BI: Interesting. So, to you, what makes a good blog?
Me: There's really no secret recipe. Most people think a humorous intro, a few senseless ramblings and ponderings, a couple of comical stories, mix in several clever analogies, close with a song lyric, and that's all it takes. But as my father used to say, quality blog entries do not grow on trees.

BI: Your dad really said that?
Me: Uh, no.

BI: So do you strive for humor in your blog?
Me: More times than not, yes. But it's not comedy because I think it is, it's only comedy if the reader finds it funny.

BI: Where did you get the name for your blog?
Me: Obviously, it's a take-off on the old movie trailer slogan, "if you see just one movie this year" or whatever.

BI: Did you consider any other names?
Me: Let's see, there were a few. Um, Single White Blogger... Fingers on the Wrong Keys... Apartment 7... Will Blog For Food... A Seinfeld Fan's Lament. And those are all copyrighted, so don't get any ideas.

BI: As you probably know, it is widely speculated that your blog has landed you on the FBI's medium-risk watch list. How do you respond to that?
Me: I (Koresh) don't know where (Ruby Ridge) silly rumors (Jim Jones) like that get started.

BI: Is that cherry kool-aid?
Me: Sure is. Want some? It's tasty.

BI: No, I'm good... well, it looks like we're just about out of time, Master B. Anything else you'd like to say?
Me: Live from New York, it's Saturday night!

"If heaven was a town, it would be my town, on a summer day in 1985. When everything I wanted was out there waiting, and everyone I loved was still alive..."

Thursday, November 04, 2004

The End Of An Era

The Last Days
(Taps plays. It's raining. Many Few are gathered. Women are dressed in black.)

You may be asking yourself what the above phrase means, the end of an era. Does it mean...
This is my final blog entry ever? Unfortunately for you, no.
This is my final day on the face of the Earth? Unfortunately for me, no.
I am finally getting married? Unfortunately for..um.. no one, no.
It means that very soon, jstowry@aol.com will be no more. After probably 7 or 8 long years, I will be changing internet providers. I made the call (actually it was an email) to BellSouth yesterday and finally ordered DSL. The old account has served me well, from the early days (when Shane and Kelly were the only two people I knew online) to the most recent email I sent (an email notification change to russianbrides.com), it's been fun. But I must move on. Now as soon as I get a DVD player, CD player, and color TV, I will be up-to-date. What?

Million to one shot, Doc
Yesterday was nice. Work was super busy. We got the latest ratings and they are the highest they've been since I've been here, so everyone was in a good mood because of that. I don't want to jinx it though. Then some lady had made peanut brittle for us and and it was REALLY good. After church last night, I fixed some Hamburger Helper for a late supper, and ate as I watched Seinfeld. The Fusilli Jerry was on last night. Man, that is a great ep. Kramer gets the wrong license plates and Frank has an "accident" with the fusilli. lol The Bottle Deposit (Pt. 2) was also on last night:
Elaine: "Well, have they called the police yet?"
Jerry: "No, they won't call the police."
Elaine: "What? Why not?"
Jerry: "They're afraid they'll get in trouble for misusing a mail truck. Kramer doesn't want a record."
Elaine: "Kramer has a record."
Jerry: "Not a federal record."

As far as the novel goes, well, let's just say that since Notepad doesn't seem to have a word counter (or anything else much for that matter), I've had to improvise. I "stole" a copy of Office 97 off of Ebay for $69 last night. Pretty sweet, huh? Things are really falling into place now. Wheels are in motion.

Monday Morning Church
OK, so the past couple of days, over half the searches I've gotten hits from have been for this song, like 10 of the last 17 or something. So here's a link to the lyrics.

There was also a rather disturbing search for "George Bush is sexy." Uhhh... yeah. Wow.

"When my smile gets old and faded, wait around, I'll smile again. Started out clean, but I'm jaded. Just phonin' it in. Just breakin' the skin..."

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Your Daily Divershown

Seinfeld Trivia
Wow, it's been a few days since I've done this. I can't believe no one has complained. lol Here's today's question: To what state do Kramer and Newman plan to take the bottles they've collected to get the 10 cent refund?

Friday's answer: The Human Fund ("The Strike")


What's wrong with this picture? Posted by Hello

So I finish up laundry last night and these two items remain. How does this happen? I paired all the other socks and this is what's left. I don't understand. I'm no good at laundry. I have a bunch of crimson Bama sweatshirts that previously had white lettering, and they now all have pinkish lettering. I even washed them by themselves. Help. Please. Someone. Anyone?

Finally got around to watching the Best of Sandler SNL DVD last night. Wow, I had forgotten about so many of those characters. The opera boy. Cajun Man. Rejecshown. Depresshown. Intoxicashown. Good stuff.

Work has been increasingly busy. I've been busier than Dennis Rodman's tatoo artist. (OK, that's a somewhat outdated analogy these days. Well, you come up with one, and I'll insert it.) As a result, I have yet to begin my novel. I feel like Chevy Chase in "Funny Farm", except I don't have the hot wife. So if things don't pick up soon, this could mean... um... derelictshown? (For the novel, not my love life. Or for both. Whichever.)

We had a pact! (Seinfeld Conversashown)
I did get to see some good Seinfelds yesterday on TBS, The Engagement and The Voice...
J: "Well, you know, we were having dinner the other night, and she's got the strangest habit. She eats her peas one at a time. You've never seen anything like it. It takes her like an hour to finish them. I mean, we've had dinner other times. I've seen her eat corn niblets, but she scooped them."
G: "So she scooped the niblets, huh?"
J: "Yes. That's what was so vexing!"
G: "Uh huh, uh huh. What about the pact?"

K: "I don't wear a watch."
E: "Well, what do you do?"
K: "Well, I tell time by the sun."
E: "How close do you get?"
K: "Well, I can guess within the hour."
E: "I can guess within the hour and I don't even have to look at the sun."
K: "Yeah."
E: "So what do you do at night?"
K: "Well, night's tougher, but it's only a couple of hours." :-)

"The end is coming, she don't even feel it. It's a strange sensation, I'm almost happy. Well I believe, that I'm just plain tired..."

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

In The News

With the mainstream, aristocratic media covering the election, here are some stories you might otherwise miss today:

Trick-or-treaters Get Beer Tossed In Bags
Trick or treat... or beer?

Student Evicted For Urging Fat Girls To Take The Stairs
I know this is probably wrong, but I find it quite funny.
(excerpt)The fliers read: "9 out of 10 freshman girls gain 10 to 15 pounds. But there is something you can do about it. If u live below the 6th floor take the stairs. Not only will u fell better about yourself but you will also be saving us time and won't be sore on the eyes."(/excerpt)

ROFL You have to admire his creativity anyway. Right? Right? Ri-... Nevermind.

Idaho Man Arrested For Stealing Underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear... la la laaaa. How do I even know that song?

"Lacy things, the wife is missin'. Didn't ask, her permission. I'm wearin' her clothes, her silk pantyhose, walkin' 'round in women's underwear..."

Election Day

Today is Election Day in America. Be sure to get out and vote. I know all the name-calling and criticizing can be frustrating, but this is the your chance to be heard (assuming your vote is counted and not thrown out or lost, and that you are not forbidden to vote by challengers stationed at many precincts across the country, and are not intimidated or scared away by said challengers). As a demographic, young people are some of the least likely to vote. I can only imagine the change we could bring if young people, ages 18-30, as a whole, got out and voted. I truly believe America is at its best when everyone votes and has their say. Plus, you get that kewl "I Voted" sticker. Also, I think it is federal law that employers are required to give their employees two hours off today to vote. I think. Well, try it and see. What?

Check out electoral-vote.com. This guy has comprised an electoral map based on the final polling numbers, and will supposedly update with the official results. Of course, there'll only be seventy-four television channels providing continuous coverage all night, I'm sure. But he also includes some other interesting factoids, including comparisons to polls in the 2000 election.

"Faith, hope, and love are some good things He gave us. And the greatest is love..."

Monday, November 01, 2004

Monday Madness

Do you.....

1. Code your own website or use a template?
Template, with a few added tweaks of my own.
2. Use a digital camera or a film camera? If digital, do you print your own pictures, order them online, or send them out?
Digital. Wal-Mart.
3. Make your own cards or buy them at a card shop?
Buy them. I make my own money in the attic, though. What?
4. Draw your own graphics or get them from the internet?
Internet, unless ASCII art is required, then I create my own.
5. Take showers or baths?
Showers. What, I wanna sit in a tepid pool of my own filth?
6. Make your own candles or buy them? And are they soy or paraffin?
Yeah, I make my own candles, and knit my own sweaters. Right. I buy them. I'm not sure what they're made of, I always assumed it was wax.
7. Celebrate Halloween or not?
Yes, I don't have a problem with it.
8. Sleep in on weekends or get up early even if you don't have to go to work?
Well on the rare occasion I don't have something to do on Saturday, I sleep.
9. Correct other people's grammar, or just let it go?
Mostly let it go. I'm much more likely to correct someone's spelling online.

"Who am I fooling? There's no need for me to pretend. I might sail forever, and never find that island again..."

Da Crew

Is "da" still cool to say for "the"? I know it was in the 80's, with Da Bulls and Da Bears on SNL. Oh well, I'll just pretend it is, like most everything else I do. Anyhow, here is the crew from Saturday. I dare say there is nothing these eight brave, resourceful souls can't film. From left to right: Shane, Paul, Jeff #2, Kyle, Sara, Me, Jenna, and Tag. (Thanks to Shane via Kyle for the pic.)

The Crew Posted by Hello

"We're not gonnna take it. No! We ain't gonna take it. We're not gonna take it, anymore..."