Thursday, March 31, 2005

A hard one to swallow

(Blog entry title taken from this episode of Ace & Gary.)

She's gone. I can't believe it. Sure, I was nervous, but then I'm nervous every week. Jessica was voted off last night on American Idol. I spent the rest of the evening in mourning. There's no way she should've gone before Scott, Anthony, Nadia, or Nikko. A couple of people messaged me last night with condolences. If you'd like to make me feel better, please complete the following statement:

"__________ should have been eliminated way before Jessica."

Thank you :-)

Here are some stories...
Idol Puts Two Strong Singers in Bottom Three (
American Idol Isn't Kind To Teens (MSNBC)
Sierra's Exit Leaves Nine Contestants (Toledo Blade)

In other news, keeping with the theme of this entry's title, I force-fed myself some Theraflu last night. Blech! I can't imagine many things more difficult to ingest than six ounces of this vile, revolting solution. They should make it a competition on Fear Factor. However, it does seem to work quite well, and I am feeling a good bit better today.

"Here's to the corners yet to turn. Here's to the bridges yet to burn. Here's to the whole thing blown apart. It's open season on my heart..."

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

And then there were nine

I still remember when someone would say "A.I." and the first thing I'd think of was Allen Iverson. No more. It's all American Idol now, babee! Who would have ever thought this would happen to me?

Not a great showing last night, in my opinion. I know the 90's didn't have a lot of great music, but I thought overall that the choice of songs was poor.

My bottom three: Scott, Anthony, Anwar

Scott probably had the worst performance. He picked a really hard song to sing. I think Anthony may be gone though, because it seems like he's had more bad weeks than the others, and he was in the bottom three last week. There are times when he is starting to sound a little like Clay Aiken to me. I still think Anwar could recover and stay awhile longer. But the first half of his song last night was horrendous.

I think it's only a matter of time for Nikko and Nadia (aka "big hair girl"), although I thought she picked a good song to fit her voice last night. Jessica sang well, but I didn't care for her song choice either. I still voted for her 20 or 25 times. I think she's safe, but I'm still nervous.

I thought Bo and Carrie were the best of the night, followed by Constantine and Vonzell, although why anyone would try to sing a Whitney Houston song I'm not sure.

"Look into your heart, pretty baby. Is it aching with some nameless need? Is there something wrong, and you can't put your finger on it?"

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Nocturnal Phantasm #305A

Last night, I dreamed I was coming over the Hudson Bridge and there were a couple of cars stopped near the end of the bridge, just before the turn off to the boat harbor. Turns out some guy had shot someone in one of the cars. I was one of the first people to come up on it, and stopped just to the right and behind the car of the man who'd been shot. Apparently, the shot had caused the bottom of his car to fall out onto the road, for whatever reason. Somehow I know that the man in the car is already dead. So the killer comes around to the passenger side of his car, right in front of me, and he has a gun. By now, traffic has stacked up behind us as far as you can see to the top of the bridge. The killer points his gun at me and says that he will kill whoever, he doesn't care. Then he turns his attention back to the guy in the car, so I think to myself, "Well, I can sit here and do nothing and get shot, or I can go for the gun. I might get shot, but I might not." So, while his attention is diverted, I lunge at him, grabbing the gun. Using every ounce of my strenght, I wrest it away from him and onto the ground. Then, I have his left arm twisted behind him in one of those wrestling-like holds. So, I am trying to motion to the people in the other cars to get out and grab the gun while I have him restrained, but everyone is too frightened. Finally, someone does get out and grab the gun. The police come and all is well. And in my dream, of course, I think this is all really happening, so I'm thinking to myself, "This is gonna make the best blog entry ever!" I was a little disappointed when I woke up. Of course, I'm always a little disappointed when I wake up.

"All men think of themselves as kind of low-level superheroes. When men are growing up reading about Batman, Superman, Spiderman, these aren't fantasies, these are options. This is the way men really look at their own lives. I'll give you a perfect example of this. You ever see a guy moving a mattress tied to the roof of this car? He's out on the highway with this thing, he's always got the arm out the window holding this mattress. Whatever he's rigged up there, he's helping along with the arm. This is classic male superhero idiot thinking. This moron actually believes that if the wind catches this huge rectangle at 60 miles an hour, I got it, I got it. Don't worry about it, I'm using my arm." - Jerry Seinfeld

In other news, I really haven't felt well since Sunday evening. I shouldn't have gone out Sunday night after church. Yesterday, I came home from work, took some Nyquil, and slept for about three hours. Stayed in bed all evening, watching every single program that TVLand has to offer.

"So tell me one more time, how you're sorry about the way this all went down. You needed to find your space. You needed to still be friends..."

Monday, March 28, 2005

You've been Pittsnogled!

That was my favorite phrase of the weekend as my newly beloved Mounties lost a heartbreaker. It reminds me of the time I attended an NCAA regional in Bham and Austin Peay was playing. Their fans chanted "Let's go Peay" the entire game.

Well, I correctly picked 3 of the final 4 somehow, as evidenced in this post. I had Louisville, North Carolina, Illinois, and Oklahoma (instead of Michigan State). So even though I got pummeled in the opening rounds, I made a nice, if improbable, comeback. What a weekend, though. Three overtime games out of four in the Elite 8. Surely someone amongst the powers that be in college football could watch the games this weekend and think, "Hey! We could do that!"

OK, I was going to post something interesting and funny today, but I figured, I've gone nearly two years. Why start now?

EDIT: By the way, I really appreciate channel 19 displaying their "19" emblem over the clock during the end of the Kentucky/Michigan State game. Good job. It wasn't like the game was close or anything. Then again, perhaps that's why it took Kentucky about 20 seconds to foul in the last minute there. Maybe they couldn't see the clock because of that giant "19". AND I really appreciate you running the severe weather bulletins in Spanish. As soon as I turned the TV on, it was like, "Tormenta hacienda viva la bamba Moulton yo quiero Taco Bell" running across the screen. So I had no clue what was going on. As if years of fake Satterfield tornado warnings weren't enough, now this. It's safe to say I won't be watching your station for weather coverage ever again.

"If there's a plane or a bus leavin' Dallas, I hope you're on it..."

Saturday, March 26, 2005

I'm all in

It just feels good to say that, even when you're only playing for chips, or maybe especially when you're only playing for chips. Well, I participated in, and won, my first live game of No Limit Texas Hold 'Em last night. We played while watching the NCAAs. After the last remaining female player, an experienced Annie Duke type, was eliminated, it came down to me and Earlyfold McBidlow, an ultra-conservative player who requires lots of patience to defeat. I was able to push him around with a big stack, but he came back from the dead twice, winning two rather small all-ins, before finally bowing out on the third. It was a lot of fun. It is neat just trying to get a read on other players and recognizing almost immediately sometimes when you make a mistake, bidding too low or staying in too long or whatever. I guess watching all that World Series of Poker and Tilt on ESPN finally paid off. There's something very invigorating, almost liberating, about going all in. It's a little mini-rush.

Shot a little pool for the first time in about a week. Ended up getting home a little before 1:00. Had a bad dream last night. I don't know if I was in Iraq or if it was over here. Wherever it was, Saddam Hussein was trying to kill me, and everyone else. Well, we were calling him Uday, but it looked exactly like Saddam. It was like you couldn't get away no matter where you went. I was glad I woke up.

Oh yeah, I was gonna tell you about my bad dream. Well, I dreamed that I woke up one day and went to get gas, and it had gone up to like $2.20 a gallon. Whew! Man, I hate dreams like that.

Oh, I'm at work today, by the way, until 1:00. Hope everyone has a Happy Bunny Day!

"So, if you called a girl and she was at work, would you expect her to call you back when she got off?"
"I've never called a girl."
"Me either."

"What would you think if a girl called you at work? Would you think she was needy?"
"I'd be excited!"
"Yeah, but come on, these aren't exactly the world's most renowned relationship experts you're talking to here."

"As we are dancing, Mary's wrappin' her arms around me. I can feel the sting of summer on my skin. In the midst of the music, I tell her I love her. We both laugh, cos we know it isn't true..."

Friday, March 25, 2005

Don't speak

For my friends who watch the surveillance tape
OK, I just whopped the side of my face up against the edge of the door. I was coming into the studio and as I was opening the door, it caught on my foot, so it didn't open all the way. But I had already started forward, anticipating that the door would open fully in its normal manner. As a result, the right side of my face attempted to dent the edge of the door. Also tore some skin off my elbow and banged my knee. Nice. I looked around to see if anyone had seen, because, you know, that's the most important thing. Fortunately, they had not.

I have been pretty hoarse the past few days. I woke up Wednesday morning that way and it hasn't really gotten much better. I don't really feel bad otherwise, but I have mostly stayed home just because I figure rest is good for anything. And I figure I probably should talk as little as possible. Yesterday at work, my boss came in and asked me if I was coming down with the flu. I told him I didn't think so, then he said that my eyes didn't look so good, so he sent me home. Don't you hate that. I guess maybe I have a touch of laryngitis. I'm not really sure. I was tired of sitting home though, so I headed over to Decatur last night. Got some food at Applebees and then went over to a friend's to watch the NCAA's. West Virginia won! I have been converted into an honorary Mountie, whatever the crap that is, for the rest of the tournament.

I *heart* Jessica
I got this text message Wednesday: "Due to a TV graphic error, text votes on Idol last night will NOT count and you will NOT be charged. Support your Idol & vote tonight 9pm/8C." WHAT?!?! Good job! Well, I am officially addicted to this show. Can you believe that? Me?? Mister anti-reality-TV. Not to mention that I have the attention span of a hyperactive four-year-old whose Ritalin prescription ran out six months ago. But I can watch this show. Well, Mikalah is gone. Jessica is safe. Whew! I really agreed with the bottom three last night of Mikalah, Mohawk-girl, and Anthony. Anthony can obviously sing, but I guess he is just super nervous or something. He doesn't seem to pick great songs, either. Did you see Jessica crying when Mikalah got cut? She is so sweet and compassionate... I guess. I don't really know her. I just love her.

"Did you read Beetle Bailey yesterday?"
"No. Why?"
"Miss Buxley was looking especially hot."

"Who is that guy? Is that Denzel?"
"Morgan Freeman?"
"No, it's uhh..."
"Samuel P. Jackson?"
"You mean, Samuel L. Jackson."
"L? Really?"
"Yeah. But it's not him either."
"So there's no Samuel P?"

(on phone)
"Hey Donna. This is Jeff."
"Of Jeff and Kyle."
"Oh! Jeff! Your voice sounds much deeper on the phone."
"Well, I've been hoarse the past couple of days, so that's why it sounds like that."
(Thinking, "Good heavens, don't you know my voice? We were almost engaged, for crying out loud! Or we almost went to the movies one time. Whichever.")

"Don't tell me how to be, cos I like some suffering. Don't ask me what I need. I'm just fine here, finding me."

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Seinfeld's TV Dad Dies

"Barney Martin, a former NYPD detective who went on to play Jerry Seinfeld's dad, Morty, on the popular "Seinfeld" show, died Monday. He was 82." (read article)

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Late Night Poll Results

OK, I've set up a new poll on the sidebar, and this one is Seinfeld-related! Obviously, I couldn't list all the characters, but I tried to pick some of the main ones. So, go vote ;-)

Here are the results of the last unscientific IYROOBTY poll:

Which of the following late night hosts do you prefer?
1. David Letterman (35.6%)
2. Bring back Arsenio (28.7%)
3. Jon Stewart (21.8%)
4. Conan O'Brien (6.9%)
5. Jay Leno (5.8%)
6. Carson Daly (1.2%)
7. Craig Ferguson (0.0%)
8. Jimmy Kimmel (0.0%)
(total votes: 87)

Glad to see I'm not the only one who doesn't care for Jimmy Kimmel as a talk show host. I love Jon Stewart, but I didn't figure he'd finish so high. He is hilarious. He and Letterman are my favorites. I guess Leno's audience must be mostly old, non-internet users or something. I dunno. I know we had some multiple voters, but that's OK. It's all good.

"Some day you'll be sorry. Someday when you're free. Memories will remind you that our love was meant to be..."

A random act of senseless blogging

Once at a family reunion, my uncle took a bunch of us kids for a ride in the back of his truck. I don't remember where we went, but I remember it was a long walk back.

My bracket's not busted...'s obliterated. You know on Super Mario Bros. when you get to the end of the fire stage and you jump on that key or axe or whatever it is and the bridge disintegrates? Well, that bridge represents my bracket. I profess to be a sports fan, to know a little something about all three major sports, college and pro. But man, this is my worst bracket ever. While 3 of my final 4 are still alive, sans Oklahoma, only 4 of my elite 8 are left. And I'm almost ashamed to say, only 6 of my sweet 16 made it. Ouch! Good thing I decided not to bet this year... or any year. Be watching for my latest book, "Incorporating Seinfeld and Nintendo Into Every Aspect Of Your Daily Life."

Home cookin'
I enjoyed three home cooked meals over the weekend. That was very nice. I have some very thoughtful females in my life. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with cooking one night and inviting your bachelor friend over for dinner. Nothing at all. I would even encourage it. Mom cooked on Saturday for lunch. Here's what we had: fat back (have you ever heard of that?), barbecue boneless chicken, blackeyed peas, corn on the cob, cole slaw, macaroni and cheese, cucumber salad, fried potatoes, and cornbread muffins. Now THAT'S an Alabama meal. Mmmm!

Other stuff
Why do most girls love Extreme Home Makeover? To me, you see one EHM, you've seen them all. Do girls have an innate need to cry every so often? Maybe that's what guys are for. Girls need to cry. It's a necessary bodily function. So we make them cry.

I haven't run since Friday. Still resting the knee. Probably won't run today either since I have a strange aversion to running in tornadoes.

I wanna see the sequel to The Ring. I have not been inside a movie theater since December 2003, but I think that streak is about to come to an end. I saw the first one and it was pretty good.

One tank of gas: $30
Two movie tickets: $18 (I really have no idea, I think it was $7.50 the last time I went.)
Getting to shoot basketball at that little game with the moving goal in the movie theatre arcade: Priceless (OK, it's actually 50 cents per game. Oh well. It's no wonder they don't ask me to write Master Card commercials.)

"I know you believed when I said it was over. You stood by me patiently, waiting and brooding. So deeply in love with every face that I've shown..."

Sunday, March 20, 2005

The radio story

Pseudo live-blogging yesterday's radio installation (with pictures)...

3:42 PM - I arrive at Dad's. I go there because it looks like it might rain and there's no sheltered place to park my truck at my apartment. Well, not legally anyway.

3:44 PM - Dad is out back in the utility shed. He rattles off several instructions, tips, and helpful hints that I need to keep in mind while installing my radio.

3:45 PM - I can't remember any of Dad's instructions, tips, or helpful hints.

3:50 PM - Surrounded by instructions, screwdrivers, and hex wrenches. There's something very comforting about being surrounded by tools.

3:51 PM - Dad walks up and volunteers to help. Whew.

4:01 PM - I wonder to myself what is the worst possible thing that can happen, sort of a worst-case scenario. Could something catch fire? Could I seriously injure myself or anyone else? Could I be electrocuted? Is there anyway my truck won't be running when I get done? Do I smell something burning?

4:27 PM - We have the main dash panel and the old radio removed. It looks like this:

4:28 PM - I think to myself, that wasn't too bad. I should be done by 5:00 or 5:30, at latest. (Edit: Reading back over this on Sunday afternoon, this is really funny. Really, really funny.)

4:29 PM - I randomly remember one time in 9th grade, this nerdy kid brought these vials to school and said they contained the HIV virus, and that we better not open them. We opened them and he told us he was no longer responsible for what happened. We laughed at him. Then later, we secretely wondered if he had been telling the truth. By the way, he's married now. Something is wrong with this picture.

4:31 PM - Dad informs me he has to shower and leave around 5:00. He briefs me on how I should do the wiring.

4:33 PM - I sorta feel like MacGyver, defusing a bomb or something. Of course, he wouldn't need a kit to install a radio, only dental floss, some duct tape, and an old watch battery.

4:45 PM - I have the wiring done. It looks a lot like this, or exactly like this:

4:47 PM - We plug in the radio and test it. It appears to work correctly. For the first time, I notice this statement in the instruction manual: "CAUTION: Before proceeding with the installation, disconnect your vehicle's negative battery cable to prevent any possible electrical system damage." Oops.

4:59 PM - I have a little trouble operating the radio. There's lots of buttons. Dad asks, "Haven't you read the manual?" Well, of course I have... not.

5:07 PM - With me assuring him I can finish up, Dad leaves.

5:08 PM - I think to myself there is no way I'm getting this done tonight and cry aloud, "Why?! Why?! Why?!" That was a recurring theme throughout the afternoon and evening.

5:09 PM - I start to work on the installation kit. It looks a lot like a model car (see picture below). I try and remember if I ever completely and correctly put together a model car. I come to the conclusion that I probably did not, at least not without having some parts left over. Here is the kit:

5:28 PM - It's still pretty early in the going, and I can't find a piece that I need. Piece B1 appears to be missing. Why?! Why?! Why?!?! I figure I must have misplaced it, but it's nowhere to be found. None of the other pieces will fit in its place. For the forty-seventh time this afternoon, I wonder what in the world was I thinking when I decided to do this.

6:05 PM - After looking for B1 without success for over half an hour, I ponder going inside, lying down, and going to sleep for a long, long time. Again I think, there is no way I'm finishing this before morning. But no, I can't give up now. So I make the executive decision to go back to Wal-Mart and see if I can exchange the kit. If not, I figure I'll just buy another.

6:14 PM - After putting up the tools, and with the dash of my truck basically in my lap, I drive to Wal-Mart. Customer service tells me I have to go to the automotive department and get them to OK my exchange. I ask the girl in the automotive department if I can open the new kit to make sure all the pieces are there. They are.

6:30 PM - I have the new kit and I'm on my way. It is now very dark here in Nowhere, USA.

6:31 PM - Note to self: Wal-Mart has hired a high number of attractive female workers. It's no wonder some companies are so successful.

6:35 PM - I sorta feel like Batman. This has nothing to do with the radio thing. I just always sorta feel like Batman.

6:49 PM - Back at "the shop" and now having surpassed the three-hour mark, I think about all the NCAA tournament games I am missing right now.

6:53 PM - The thought crosses my mind that half the population of Kenya could have already run a marathon in less time than it has already taken me to install this radio.

7:01 PM - While still working on the kit, I get a call from my sister. She asks if I want her husband to come over and help me. No thanks, I say. I think I've got it. For the first time in a long time, things are looking up. Seriously. Perhaps my plans for the night won't be shot after all. Oh, that's right, I had no plans for the night.

7:05 PM - The entire time I'm working on the kit, I'm thinking to myself, "This isn't right. This isn't going to fit."

7:24 PM - The kit is finished. At least, I think it is. I discard all the unused parts and pieces. Now it's time to mount this baby in the truck and see if I can reattach the dash panel.

7:35 PM - The radio is installed and appears to be working. I start on the dash panel.

7:50 PM - Success!! The dash panel is back in place, and the radio still appears to be working:

7:51 PM - This must be how Edison felt when he invented the... whatever it was he invented.

7:52 PM - Huh, turns out I didn't need the hex wrench set after all... or a bunch of these parts. Watch for my next instructional feature, "Crossword Puzzles Made Easy." It's OK to have spaces left over.

7:58 PM - I leave and drive home with my new Sony radio/CD player blasting the Spin Doctors. Later I decide to head to Decatur and hang out so that I can listen to my CD player some more. Life is good.

"If you want to call me baby, just go ahead now..."

This sounds like what I have


Iliotibial Band Syndrome

Pain on the outside of your knee (not usually accompanied by swelling or locking). The pain may be sporadic and disappear with rest, only to reoccur suddenly, often at the same point in a run. Depending on the individual, this could happen at four miles, two miles or just 200 yards. The pain often goes away almost immediately after you stop running.

Likely causes:
This is an overuse injury. The iliotibial band is a band of tissue that begins at the outside of the pelvis and extends to the outside part of the knee. The band helps stabilize the knee. If it becomes too short, the band rubs too tightly on the bone of your leg and becomes irritated. The tightness is usually the result of too much strain from overtraining.

Patience. This one takes a while. Give yourself plenty of rest, reduce your miles and ice frequently. You can keep running, but cut your run short as soon as you begin to feel any pain. Cut way back on hill work, and be sure to run on even surfaces. Look into some deep friction massage with a physical therapist.

Try some leg-raise exercises to strengthen your hips and be conscientious about the iliotibial band stretch. You might supplement that stretch with this one, doing it gently but often:

To stretch the IT band of your right leg, stand with your left side facing the wall. Cross your right leg behind your left, while putting your left hand against the wall. Put your weight on the right leg and lean against the wall by pushing your right hip away from the wall. Be sure that your right foot is parallel to the wall during the stretch. You should be able to feel the stretch in your hip and down the IT band (in this case, along the right side of your right leg). Hold for five seconds and do this ten times. For the left leg, do as above, but stand with your right side facing the wall, and put your left leg behind your right.

"Cos I know there's a better place than this place I'm livin'. How far is heaven?"

Saturday, March 19, 2005

This could take awhile...

S...A...F...E...T...Y... Safety... Blog...
Doo doo doo doo doo doo do do do do
We can blog if you want to
We can leave your friends behind
Cos your friends don't blog
And if they don't blog
Well they're, no friends of mine...
(I just now came up with that!)

An announcement
(spoken on a microphone with lots of reverb and echo, a la Lou Gehrig): Today (today today today) I (I I I) will attempt (attempt attempt attempt) to install a new radio (radio radio radio) in my truck (truck truck truck).

As I told someone this morning, this could take anywhere from a couple of hours to the rest of my life. Hopefully, I'll be able to channel Tim "The Toolman" Taylor for a few hours.

Yesterday, all my knee troubles seemed so far away...
Went running after work yesterday. After about a mile, my left knee started really hurting, like really bad. Like unbearably bad. It was hurting on the sides. It was really really frustrating. Really. REALLY!!! So I'm gonna rest it this weekend and perhaps look around online for some self-diagnosis (that always works). Maybe it's nothing a little rest won't remedy.

More fun with oil
I bought $29 of gas yesterday. Did you know that now when you're pumping gas the dollars will pass 20 before the gallons even get to 10? What a neat trick conceived by the oil companies. What will they think of next? I'm almost afraid to know.

Got to see the last part of the Vermont/Syracuse game last night while we were shooting pool. What a great upset, a 13 over a 4! Then, when I got home, I caught the last bit of Kansas/Bucknell, which turned out to be an even better upset, a 14 over a 3. Gotta love the NCAAs. I wonder about Kansas' coach. He leaves Illinois, then they only lose one game the whole year. Then his second year at Kansas, they lose in the first round for the first time since like 1978. I might accidentally forget to mention that on my resume.

"Her methods are inscrutable. The proof is irrefutable. She's so completely kissable..."

Friday, March 18, 2005

One and done babee!

When I was little, I used to be scared of bridges. But Dad told me one day that sometimes a bridge is the only way to get to where you need to be. So now, anytime I see someone standing on a bridge looking troubled, I tell them "This is the only way to get to where you need to be."

Blogger Bone's Day Off
I headed over to Huntsville to watch the Bama game at the Benchwarmer. Enjoyed some wings, good conversation, threw back a couple of Cokes like they were water. All was great, except for the game. Bama got upset by Wisconsin-Milwaukee. (Who? Exactly.) They shot lights out. They'll probably shoot 30% and lose by 20 to BC. Oh well, I knew we were in trouble when I saw that Ian Eagle and Jim Spenakle were the broadcast team for our game. Anyway, I enjoyed seeing UAB crush LSU. It's always nice to see John Brady get the absolute most out of his team. And by most, I mean least. I haven't had a chance to look at my bracket yet. I'll do that when I get home. Then I'll probably cry.

Some NCAA commentator funnies:
- "They've got to explore Bass inside." (Umm, no thanks.)
- "Yeah, but Creighton doesn't have anybody like Pitsnogle." (Few do.)
- "Squeaky's got that little floater."

So that's why Mark McGwire was never on CSPAN
Spent a large portion of the afternoon watching the Congressional hearings on steroids in baseball. It was kinda like watching CSPAN (or Canadian Parliament... not that I've ever done that... for very long). I was skeptical at first, but after they got to the players, I couldn't turn away. They made Mark McGwire look like a total buffoon. By the end, I almost started feeling sorry for him. He was so afraid he would say something to incriminate himself. If I heard "I'm not here to talk about the past, I want to put a positive spin on this" one time, I heard it twenty-five times. The only thing I will give him is at least he didn't lie and deny it. I'm not so sure about Sosa. After his "I didn't know my bat was corked" statement a couple of years ago, he just doesn't have a lot of credibility with me. I mean, Oscar Mayer should've patented that response, because that was 100% pure baloney! I just wish Barry Bonds would've been subpoenaed.

There were many good points made and questions raised. Among them:
- Why did baseball so diligently and aggressively pursue, investigate, and punish Pete Rose for gambling, and yet seems to be doing everything it can to avoid doing the same to steroid users?
- The drug testing agreement, as publicized by baseball, would punish a first-time offender with a 10-game suspension along with a public disclosure of his name. However, the real agreement gives the commissioner the option of fining a player rather than suspending him and not revealing the player's name.

Had dinner with a friend last night at Ruby Tuesday's. And now, I'm back at work. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

"These are the days that make up the lifetimes. These are the clothes that I wear. This is the only thing I wanted more than anything..."

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Sometimes you can look up and see Mars. Sometimes you can't. It's a lot easier if you're outside.

Well, I took off work today. Going to watch the tournament with some friends (on TV, not in person).

Went to Applebees after church last night. Beth told me she was leaving in a couple of weeks. You know, I could make a long list of our 'regular' waitresses who have passed thru the doors of our friendly neighborhood bar and grill over the years. Also, there were no processed cowhide products in sight last night, so that was good.

Hope you all have a great St. Patricks Day. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Oh yeah, it appears that maybe the blogger comments are working again, at least for now.

"I don't want clever conversation. Never want to work that hard. I just want someone, that I can talk to. I want you just the way you are..."

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

61 & 755

Most Players Admit Steroids Changed Baseball

- "In a Feb. 17-March 9 survey of 568 players, 79% said they believed steroids played some role in record-breaking performances by high-profile players. And 27% said they believed the illegal performance-enhancing drugs were a "major contributor" to recent statistical achievements."

- "35% of players surveyed said if a player is found to be using steroids, his records should be stripped or denoted with an asterisk."

"I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend. You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in. And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand..."

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Up and running

When I am next to someone at a traffic light, I like to get them looking over at me, then slowly ease in reverse so that it appears they are rolling forward. It is funny to see them step on their brakes. Of course, this isn't really a good thing to do if there is a car behind you.

New links
Here is a good article on treadmill training.

I did four miles today. Also added some running links to my blog over there.

What is happening to me?
Watched most all of American Idol tonight. What in the world is happening to me? I thought Jessica did well, even though the panel was pretty tough all night. Honestly, trying to be as unbiased as possible, I think Bo had the best performance of the night. You can tell he's performed live many times. I thought Mikhala was the worst, by far. She should be the next one cut. Lindsay wasn't great, either, even though she's really cute. Nikko probably won't last long, even though I loved his choice of a J-5 song.

I guess Kerry now has the unofficial Bo Bice blog. If Jessica makes it to the next round, I might turn my blog into the Jessica Sierra blog. Imagine her gratitude.

*** My current Cingular text message vote count for Jessica: 4.

"Don't lose a girl you love at home for a night in Panama City. Don't rush off the phone when your Momma calls. You ain't that busy. You oughta make that drive to say goodbye to your grandpa before he goes. Don't ask me how I know..."

Do you love Bo(ne) Duke?

I ponder as I blog... Does every Lifetime movie have either Judith Light, Joanna Kerns, Meredith Baxter, or Lindsay Wagner in it? Even more importantly, why do I even know that?

Monday, Monday
Yesterday was, as my friends south of the border might say, muy productivo. Got my taxes all done. Went running after work, then mowed the grass. Did you know that I have always, always, always used a push-mower when cutting the yard? Always. Mom had called and said she was cooking supper and invited my sister and me over, so I showered and went over there for some home-cooking. Never turn that down. (See Article I, Section 3 of the Bachelor's Creed.)

The few, the proud
In other news, my sister and her husband went to Tunica this weekend. She said her husband told her that a girl I used to date was there. So the first thing I am thinking is that she worked there, like a waitress or a dancer you know. So I'm trying to think of the tramp-iest girls I have ever dated. (Yes, I thought of a few. Names omitted to protect my livelihood.) Anyway, turns out it was a girl I dated umm, let's just say a long time ago. I was a different man then... with a different body. She was just there visiting. Somehow my sister's husband knows her husband, and when she found out my sister's name, she was like, "Do you have a brother named Jeff? I used to date him." Yet another ex who is now married. Chalk me up on the big board, Mister C.

Finally, Shane has been trying to get me to try out for this. I think I have decided to give it a go, and make a video and stuff. It should be a lot of fun, win or lose. And perhaps I have a slight advantage on some candidates, since one of the requirements is to maintain a blog.

"Yeah, so you can replace your Taboo buzzer."

"Perhaps you'll get luckies."
"What does 'luckies' even mean?"

"My sister called the cops on them."
"They were outside this morning at 5 AM building a fence in their yard."
"Good heavens, I think you live next to Boo Radley."

"Does she walk? Does she talk? Does she come complete?"

Monday, March 14, 2005

I'm not shaving anymore...

...until Alabama gets put out of the NCAA tournament. A few of us made a pact today... or just two of us. Whichever. It's on like Donkey Kong! Feel free to join in, although it could be kinda gross for the ladies. The Final Four is April 2-4. This is gonna be great!

"Say a prayer when you feel like cussin'. Save your money, pay with cash. Forget your pride, buy the roses. If you're sorry, tell her so. Don't drink the water in Mexico. Don't ask me how I know..."

March Madness... hizzle!!!

The brackets were announced yesterday. I hastily filled out a bracket last night, and I think I ended up with North Carolina, Louisville, Illinois, and Oklahoma in the Final Four, but that is subject to change, before Thursday of course. My beloved Crimson Tide received a #5 seed, with a first-round matchup against Wisconsin-Milwaukee. I have them losing in the Sweet 16 to Illinois. Unfortunately, they play at like 11:30 Thursday morning. Remember, you can keep track of all the games while you're at work with Bone's pseudo-exclusive blog scoreboard.

This is the best time of the year for college basketball fans. And the first weekend of the NCAA tournament is probably the best time of the year in all of sports to me, with all the upsets, near-upsets, cinderella stories, and CBS switching from game to game to show all the exciting finishes. It's great. I thought about taking a day off work Thursday. Haven't really decided yet. Good luck filling out your brackets. If you need help, I do offer tips, but only to females :-)

"I was stopped at a red light just yesterday, beside a young girl in a Cabriolet, and her eyes were green, and I was in an old scene. I was back in that red ragtop, on the day she stopped lovin' me..."

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Seinfeld: The Sequel

(Note: The following post contains mostly-paraphrased excerpts from Jerry Seinfeld's stand-up routine on March 12, 2005, in Birmingham, Alabama. If you don't want to know what happens, please leave the room and come back in four hours. Thank you. - Editor)

I saw Jerry Seinfeld perform last night in Birmingham. It was my second time to see Jerry live. The first was in Nashville in 2002. I would say this show was a little better, mainly for two reasons. (1) The opening act last night did not perform nearly as long as the opening act in Nashville. (2) The temperature inside the TPAC three years ago was about 185 degrees. Last night was much more comfortable. Anyway, I went with a friend of mine, as I just found out last week that she liked the show. Picked her up about 3:45. We stopped to eat at a Cracker Barrell around 5, and arrived in Bham about 6:15. The show began at 7. Turns out Jerry had added a second show last night at 9:30 due to the demand, I guess.

The show got off to a very interesting start. Shortly after Jerry's opening joke, ("Welcome to the BJCC, whatever that means, I don't really know. Birmingham Jewish Community Center, I guess. That's what it seems like tonight, anyway.") some lady started yelling from the left side of the front of the stage. At first, I thought it was part of the show, then about 3 or 4 security people led her away. She was apparently claiming that Jerry had stolen his material from her and that he owed her millions of dollars. It seemed to throw him off ever so slightly, but he recovered well, saying, "This is a lady who comes to our shows anytime we're in this area and she claims that she has written all of my material. She's a really nice lady but she's (whispering)out of her mind."

So that was kinda weird. I'd say I had probably heard about 25-30% of the material before, maybe a little more. Most of what I'd already heard was from his recent appearances on Letterman or the Tonight Show, but it seemed like a lot of the audience had never heard any of it before. Hee's still doing the are-they-stealing-the-old-people bit and the babies-are-here-to-replace-us bit. I can't believe he's still doing that. He did the Jihad E. Coyote joke, which is still hilarious. He had some good bits on being married and having kids, some pretty funny stuff, but I can't remember any of it well enough to recite. I think my favorite part was when he started talking about weather and weather forecasters. He was bashing them pretty good.

Other highlights that I can remember (keeping in mind that I have the memory of a crack-smoking goldfish):

On Raisin Bran...
Everytime I'm in the grocery store, I see "more scoops" on the box of Raisin Bran. Pretty soon its just gonna be "All raisins and only one flake!" 99% of all Raisin Bran consumed is eaten by people who have stayed over at someone else's house and when they wake up in the morning, that's all there is.

On phones...
There are no important phone calls. That's why after every phone conversation you have, someone will ask who was that and you'll say "nobody." They'll say what'd they want, you'll say "nothing."

Years ago, when the phone rang, someone would say, "I'll get it." When's the last time you heard that? "I'll get it!" Now when the phone rings, you say, "Nobody move!!! Who could that be? It better not be who I think it is!" Aren't we all getting just a little too paranoid.

Why are people still saying "Wait for the beep" on their phone machines. It's the 21st century, we're all aware of the beep. And is it really necessary to say "Leave your name and number?" Is anybody getting messages like "It's a woman. Goodbye!" or "He's dead. Call me back."

On cell phones...
Anytime a phone rings, we're like, "Is that my phone? Is that your phone? What was that ring? Is that 'Funkytown'? I think that's mine. I've got to make a move that's right for me."

On terrorists...
If we can't seem to find the terrorists, how do we get hold of these tapes of the terrorists training? Maybe we should follow the guy who delivers the film canister.

They always show the terrorists training on monkey bars. This seems to be an important part of their training. What major, decisive battle has ever been fought on a children's playground?

I like how we dropped bombs, then we dropped food. That seems like an American thing to do. We're gonna bomb you, but it's not gonna be all bombs. There's gonna be some food, too. We're gonna mix it up. You'll have to figure out which is which on your own.

On life...
We all try to fill up the empty spaces in our lives with little events and activities, so we can tell ourselves that our lives don't suck. Well, let me let you in on a little secret. Everyone's life sucks. Your life sucks. My life sucks. Of course... my life probably doesn't suck quite as much as yours.

A lot of people say, life's too short. I say, no it's not. It's actually too long. Have you ever been at the mall and you see someone in the arcade doing this dance revolution thing? That right there is proof that life is too long, that those people have nothing better to do than that.

On weather and weathermen...
And what's with the five-day forecast? That's something else they try to pull over on us. There is no five-day forecast. If the five-day forecast was real, we'd only have to have weather every five days.

Ever hear someone say, "Can you believe this weather?" Yes, I can. "Do you think this weather will last?" No, I don't. This is Earth, where have you been? These are the same people who are always saying, "I can't believe what time it is." Why don't they just go outside and watch the bank sign. Then they can stand there all day going, "Can you believe this weather? I can't believe what time it is."

OK, I probably butchered those up pretty good. Anyway, it was a great show, as expected. Hope you enjoyed my little recap.

"It's almost like being free. And I know soon you will be, over the lies. You'll be strong. You'll be rich in love and you will carry on, but no, oh no, no you won't be mine..."

Friday, March 11, 2005

They'll have to kill me first

If a George Foreman grill is involved, is it still considered "cooking"?

Recapping yesterday's events, or lack thereof... Inspired by a fellow blogger/runner, I went to run after work yesterday. After that, I ran up to the courthouse to renew my driver's license. I was going to post my new license photo, but no one really wants to see that. Ugh. Why do all those things look like mug shots? They must use exactly the same camera to photograph prisoners right before they're incarcerated. Oh, I became an organ donor yesterday, too. Well, I guess I'm not actually an organ donor yet, since I haven't donated any organs. I guess I'd be more like a future organ donor. They do have to kill you before they take your organs, right? Just makin' sure. I don't know why I had never done that before. I don't remember them ever asking before yesterday. That's probably why.

After paying $23 for my license, I walked down to where Amber works to say hi to her for a minute. She was like, "Hey everybody, this is Jeff, the guy who sent me roses on Valentine's Day." All the girls in her office were like, "We really think you're a great guy, and we don't even know you." I was thinking, "That's right." It was pretty funny. Then I walked over to where Amanda works and talked to her for a little while.

After that, I put my Rachel Ray-like cooking skills to work and had supper done in about 20-25 minutes. Or something. AMC was having a Rocky marathon, so I watched the end of Rocky IV and most of Rocky V. Switched back and forth between that and the SEC basketball tournament. Then, a new episode of Tilt came on a little after 11:00, so I watched that and went to bed.

In approximately 31 hours, I will be in the presence of comic royalty. Seinfeld in concert!! Tomorrow at 7 PM!! Are you excited? I'll post a recap when I get back, as if you didn't already know that.

"Moving on down the street, I see people I won't ever meet. Think of her, take a breath. Feel the beat in the rhythm of my steps. And sometimes it's a sad song..."

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Ya gotta believe

These both came in the mail today. I was pretty stoked...

Ya gotta believe! Posted by Hello

Check out the Lance Armstrong Foundation website to order your Livestrong wristbands.

Visit the Tug McGraw Foundation website for the YGB45 bracelet to support brain cancer research.

"I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. He said, someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying..."


Q. How do you get me to watch something besides sports and Seinfeld?

A. There are two ways, really. One involves a cute girl. The other is by putting a regular show on a sports channel, apparently.

I have become very interested in the new drama ESPN has created, called Tilt. It centers around poker and casino corruption and is set in Las Vegas. It's an hour long, which is odd for me, because I have trouble sitting thru any non-sports event which is longer than 30 minutes. And I've never been big on ESPN doing movies or whatever, because their movies usually turn out to be much more fantasy than fact. But I caught Tilt on late Friday night as I was getting ready for bed. They were replaying a couple of the previous episodes. Then a new episode (I think) was on last night at 10:00. So, anyway, I'm hooked. It's very interesting. Plus, it has the guy who played Duncan Meyer on "The Race" episode of Seinfeld on there, so that's always a good sign.

In other news, I discovered yesterday that my driver's license had expired at the end of February. I'm gonna run by the court house today to renew that.

My Dad got a speeding ticket yesterday!!! My dad!! Driving fast!! When you get a speeding ticket, it's not good, but when your Dad gets one, it's cool. My sister called to tell me. She thought it was so funny.

Went running yesterday at Wilson Morgan. It was cloudy and there was just a light, cool mist falling, perfect running weather.

"You giggle every time that I say yes ma'am. And I get this feelin' if I held you tight, you'd be seein' his and hers, buckles, boots, and spurs, but that's a feelin' you'll get over overnight..."

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Seven Inches From The Sun

I'm not big on reality TV. I did catch about half of American Idol last night, however. I tell you one thing, Jessica Sierra is seven-inches-from-the-sun-hot! I don't care where you're from or what you've been smoking. I guess I'll root for her and Bo. It's pretty much required since I'm from Alabama that I root for Bo. And since that did turn out to be his grandmother that called in a couple of weeks ago after all. Who knew! Oh, and I also discovered that it's Avila, not Ovula. Again, who knew.

Allison Fisher is two-for-two in '05, after winning the Great Lakes Classic over the weekend in Michigan City, Indiana. Tiffany Nelson was second, marking her best career finish. Vivian Villarreal was 3rd and Kelly Fisher 4th. On a related note, I haven't shot pool in a couple of weeks. Went to Bumpers Friday night, but the tables were all full and there was already a list of people waiting, so we left.

Went running yesterday. I'm not saying it was cold, but I did pass an eskimo, two penguins, and one girl who appeared to be training for the Iditarod, as she was running with her dog. It wasn't that bad, really. Before I'd even run half a lap, both my calves tightened up like two gargantuan monkey fists. I don't know what the deal was. I stretched like I usually do.

Work has been really crappy lately. I am officially ready for a new job. However, I'm goin' to see the Sein in 3 days, so all is well. After that, it will be time to plan a beach trip. Summer's comin'!!

"Man, it's a hot one, like seven inches from the midday sun. I hear you whisper and the words melt everyone, but you stay so cool..."

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Late Night Poll

Hey, I'm trying out a new poll service. I couldn't get it to look right as a regular post, so I just stuck it on the sidebar over to the right there. So check it out, and vote if you like ;-)

Random thought: In the shower, do you ever forget whether or not you've already shampooed? I do. Is shampooed even a word? Is that how you spell it?

"She wears a Red Sox cap to hide her baby dreads. The girl she was in New England is different now and dead. In all the local bars, she flirts and tells the boys while they're talkin', she's from Boston..."

Monday, March 07, 2005

You are sooo good-looking!

Rocky 4 was on TBS yesterday, leading me to say this to a friend: "Well, hey, I gotta turn back over to Rocky 4. Apollo's about to die." I mean, come on, you can't miss that. Saw two really good Seinfelds yesterday, and I haven't done this in awhile, so I figured I'd recount some of my favorite lines.

The Good Samaritan
What a great episode. George's "God bless yous", Becke Gelke, Elaine's fake romance with the bullfighter Eduardo Carrochio, and Kramer's wild seizures at the sound of Mary Hart's voice. Speaking of Becke Gelke, why do girls look so cute in sweat pants?

Elaine: Jerry saw this guy crash into a car and he followed him.
Kramer: Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know, those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.
Jerry: Australia?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts.
Jerry: But not anymore.
Kramer: No.

George: I said "God bless you." Was that so wrong?
Jerry: The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his "God bless you," because as the husband, he has the right to first refusal?
George: Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this, once he passes on that option, that "God bless you" is up for grabs.
Jerry: No argument. Unless she's one of these multiple sneezers, and he's
holding his "God bless you" in abeyance until she completes the series.
George: Well I don't think she is a multiple sneezer, because she sneezed
again later, and it was also a single.

Jerry: You know, if you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say "God bless you," you should say, "You're soo good lookin."

The Bizzaro Jerry
My favorite part is where Jerry is out with Man-hands and she opens his beer, and he's like, "It's not a twist-off." And then she gets an eyelash off his face with her finger and she's like, "Make a wish." So he closes his eyes, opens them back up, looks at her hands and is like, "Didn't come true." Hilarity!

Jerry: She had man-hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology. I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had, no hands at all?
Jerry: What, would she have hooks?
Elaine: Do, uh, do hooks make it more attractive, Jerry?
Jerry: Be kinda cool lookin'.

Jerry: Kramer?!
Kramer: Hey, buddy.
Jerry: It's eight o'clock in the morning. What's going on?
Kramer: Breakfast. I gotta be in at Brandt-Leland by nine.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I'm workin' there, that's why.
Jerry: How long have I been asleep? What year is this?
Kramer: Jerry, I don't know if you've noticed, but lately I've been drifting, aimlessly.
Jerry: Now that you mention it!

"I remember Sunday mornings, walkin' on the beach, and that place we'd stop for breakfast with the old red vinyl seats. The hours of the tide chart. The way the sunlight danced upon your face..."

Monday Madness!

(from Monday Madness)

1. What's on your refrigerator?
A 2004 Pizza Hut calendar, two or three recipes, some Pizza Hut coupons, a Thanksgiving card a little boy at church drew for me, my softball schedule from last year, the menu for the Mexican restaurant. That's all I can think of for now.

2. What color is your refrigerator?
Dodge Dart green. It came with the apartment.

3. Is the freezer on the top, bottom or side?

4. How old is your fridge? Does it match your stove?
I'm not sure, but if I had to ballpark it, I'd say circa 1945. lol It doesn't really match my stove. My stove is kinda cream-colored.

5. How regularly do you clean the inside of your fridge?
Not as often as I should? I'll clean it today! OK?

"From that chair I've caught a few fish and some rays, and I've watched boats sail in and out of Cinnamon Bay. I let go of a lover that took a piece of my heart. Prayed many times for forgiveness and a brand new start..."

Saturday, March 05, 2005


Well, those were my scores from bowling tonight. I'm very consistent as you can see. And by consistent, I mean, erratic. I guess that's not too bad since I hadn't bowled in over a year. This was the first time I had bowled since my ankle injury. (Excuses, excuses... lol) It was a good test for my ankle though since my slide foot was the one that was hurt. Matt, Jonathan, Amy, and I went. We each won a game, so that was good. Went to Applebee's to eat. Everyone seemed amazed that there was no beverage charge and no charge for my Oreo shake on my check. It was their first time to witness that mysterious phenomenon.

Didn't do much else today. Watched the Bama game. I'm down to seven days to find a girl to go to the Seinfeld concert. Why do hardly any girls seem to like the Sein?

So THAT'S how she's so thin
Went to Logan's Friday night. As we were walking in, Kyle's pseudo-girlfriend was walking out for a smoke break. So now I think he's gonna dump her... or we're gonna start sitting with someone else. Whichever. I went to run after work again, this time at Sparkman Park. One of the ladies at work recommended it. I took my pedometer and the track is almost exactly two-thirds of a mile. So, 3 laps, 2 miles. It's hilly, too, which is something I'm not really used to, but it's a good change of pace. There were a couple of really cute girls walking, so I steered clear, naturally.

"Are you still nursing?"
"Did you just ask her if she's still nursing?"
"That didn't come out right."
"I'm not a nurse. I'm a lab tech."

"So we don't remove stuff with this program, we simply disable or enable them which keeps them from harming the computer, right?"
"I believe so. I'm no computer expert, however. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.... OK, I didn't even do that."

"What are her measurements?"
"I'd say 40-32-38-34."
"Uhhhh, I'm not for sure, but I believe she has one too many measurements."
"I think there's only three."

"She drives me crazy, like no one else. She drives me crazy, and I can't help myself..."

Friday, March 04, 2005

The Brick Game

The kind of girl I'm looking for
You know what commercial I like? It's the insurance commercial where the wife runs over the husband's foot and they're not sure whether it's covered by home owners or auto insurance or whatever. I think that's an ideal couple. That's the kind of relationship I want. I want a girl to run over my foot with a car. Any takers? (Angry ex-girlfriend's not eligible.)

A new routine
Well, I'm trying something new, as of yesterday. I threw some running clothes in the truck and then stopped by the park on the way home from work to run. This works better, because there are no good places to run where I live. I usually just run on the streets, but the traffic gets on my nerves. So I'm gonna try this for awhile, especially since the weather is improving. It was just killing you not knowing what my running routine was, wasn't it? Wasn't it?!

The brick game
I thought I would get your weekend started off the right way with a Friday Flashback. This one goes way back to when I was probably four years old, give or take a year. It was me, Justin, and Kristy, two neighborhood kids, and we spent lots of time together, riding bikes, playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, etc. Well, one day we decided to play a new game. And that's where our story begins...

One day we were outside, and there was a pile of bricks at the side of Kristy's house. Not fully grasping at this point in our lives the concept of gravity, and with skits like Massive Head Wound Harry not having yet been created, we decided it would be fun for one of us to stand against the house while the other two threw bricks in the air, and then at the last second the person against the house would get out of the way. Well, this went on for awhile, and we would each take turns standing against the house, having bricks thrown above our heads and getting out of the way just in time. Well, as luck would have it, after awhile, Justin decides it would be fun to see what happens if you don't move when someone throws up a brick. So, I toss a brick up against the side of the house. He doesn't move. (I'm sure we've all found ourselves in this situation at one time or another.) The brick crashes into his head. He starts bleeding. Kristy starts screaming. She runs inside to tell her mother. Well, as luck would have it even more, his dad was a cop. So Dad tells me that he might have to go to jail because of what I did. Somehow I get this mental image of them having a Mayberry-type jail cell in their house. Anyway, I don't think anything ever really happened. Just kids being kids. But, needless to say, that was the first and last time we ever played the brick game.

"I feel stupid, but it's something that comes and goes. I've been changin'. I think it's funny how now one knows..."

Thursday, March 03, 2005

A proud moment

I was clearing old text messages out of my phone the other day and I came across one from my baby sister. It read: "When is signing day?"

Do you have any idea how proud it makes me to have raised a sister who loves college football so much that she wants to know when national signing day for college football recruits is? (sigh) Me so proud, me want to cry.

In the news...
Woman Ignites Car, Self; Jumps Into River; Lives

And, happy birthday today to David Faustino, "Married... With Children's" Bud Bundy, aka Grandmaster B, Bassmaster B, Bed Wetter B, Court Jester B, Dustbuster B, Thumb Sucker B, Grandpappy B, Grasshopper B, Crossdresser B, etc.

"I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this, and all the baggage that seems to still exist. It seems the only blessing I have left to my name, is not knowing what we could have been, what we should have been..."

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

March Is...

I meant to do this yesterday, but... whatever. Here it is today. Beware the Ides of March!

March is...
National Umbrella Month - I never carry one. Umbrellas are for girls. Be a man. You won't melt. Just run really fast.
National Caffeine Awareness Month - I am aware of caffeine. I need it. Sun Drop and Mountain Dew, good. Coffee, bad.
Honor Society Awareness Month - This is special to me, because National Honor Society is where the nickname "J.T. Love" was first pinned on me. I'll let your imagination run wild with that one.
National Athletic Training Month - Also known as National Steroids Month, with your celebrity spokesperson, Barry Bonds.
National On-Hold Month - Hmm, does this mean I'll be on hold longer this month, or less?
Workplace Eye Health And Safety Month - With your pseudo-celebrity spokesperson, that guy who shot the nail thru his skull.
National Frozen Food Month - This is another one that is oh so close to my heart. Stouffers, Lean Cuisine, Healthy Choice, Tony's, Jeno's, Red Baron, Swanson, Michelino's, etc., thank you all so much for sustaining me thusfar.
Save Your Vision Month - Too late.
National Talk With Your Teen About Sex Month - Umm, too late.
Vulvar Health Awareness Month - Do huh? Mulva? Celeste? Gipple? Loleola? Oh!! Delores!!

And last, but most importantly, March is Lindsy's birthday (although I'm not sure what day).

"Now that I know what I'm trying to find, there's only one place it could be. So I'm lookin' ahead. I'm not lookin' behind, for someone who's lookin' for me..."

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Penguin Baseball

Play Penguin Baseball

As winter breathes its last chilly breath, and as the baseball season approaches, why not enjoy the best of both worlds (and take a break from work) with a little Penguin Baseball. My high so far is 322.9. Try it and see what you can get. (Snatched from Fly On The Wall.)

Disclaimer: IYROOBTY does not endorse the use of live arctic animals as substitutes for balls in most sports. No animals were harmed during testing for this game, as far as we know.

"Every little thing she does is magic. Everything she do just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic, now I know my love for her goes on..."

Ten On Tuesday

I don't usually do this meme, but this one intrigued me.

Ten Songs That Bring Back Memories (And Why)
1) "Me And You" by Kenny Chesney (Getting engaged.)
2) "What It's Like" by Everlast (Getting un-engaged... weird, I know.)
3) "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns'N'Roses (The beach, Mobile, USS Alabama, etc.)
4) "This Is Me Missing You" by James House (Times I thought were so hard, but looking back, were really so good.)
5) "Out Of My Head" by Fastball (Another beach trip, when Shane's van started smoking.)
6) "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" by The Eagles (Bunny & Kevin... ROFL)
7) "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice (Homecoming '91, bonfire, etc.)
8) "Back Where I Come From" by Kenny Chesney (It was the first song they played after midnight on New Year's)
9) "I Knew I Loved You" by Savage Garden (Meredith)
10) "Remember The Time" by Michael Jackson (Somebody used to cruise around campus every morning blasting this song in front of the student center at UNA.)

"If you hear teardrops, falling like rain on the rooftops. If you don't know what you're listening to, this is me missing you..."

The price of a broken arm

Temple men's basketball coach John Chaney won't coach the team during Atlantic 10 Tournament, it was announced yesterday.

For those who haven't been following the story, Chaney sent a little used player into a game last Tuesday against St. Joseph's, with instructions to rough some guys up, send a message, whatever. The player fouled out in four minutes of action. One of his fouls resulted in a season-ending, and basically career-ending injury, for a St. Joe's senior. Originally, Chaney was suspended for only one game, then that was increased to "the rest of the regular season", which equals three games. However, with the possibility that the two teams could meet in the A-10 tournament, he will not coach the team then, either.

I think John Chaney should be fired (and probably take an anger management class, too). No, I think he should resign, but that won't happen, so Temple should do the right thing, but they won't. So the A-10 or NCAA should step in. I daresay any other coach in a similar situation would be fired or, at the least, face a much, much stiffer penalty. And Chaney's one-game self-suspension? Give me a break. That is a joke. That's like a bank robber tunring himself in and sentencing himself to an overnight stay in jail.

Sure, all this seems worse because the kid's arm was broken. Chaney is like the little kid whose parents tell him not to play ball in the backyard, then while they are gone or not looking, he disobeys them and accidentally breaks a window. Would the kid have gotten in trouble if the window hadn't been broken? Probably not. But it was, and he is. I understand this is much more serious than a broken window, but hopefully the point is understood. Someone has to pay for the window, and that someone is clearly John Chaney. If for no other reason than for the unique position he is in of influencing and teaching 18-21-year-olds. How will opposing players view Chaney in the future? How else could they be expected to view him? Not to mention his own players and the example he is supposed to be setting for them.

"Do I sit here and try to stand it, or do I try to catch them red-handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?"