Sunday, October 31, 2004

Happy Halloween

Here's the Seinfeld Halloween bit. Enjoy.

10-4, over and out
This one will definitely appear in the Friday Flashback some day. Went up to Logan's Friday night and seated with some unknown server. So Shanna walks by and I'm like, "You didn't wanna serve us?" So she promptly pulls the other girl aside, comes back to our table, and is like, "OK, you got me now." So that was cool. Then, IT happens as we're leaving. She's sitting at the rail eating, all by herself, and she's turned around waving to us. So Kyle is ahead of me, and as he gets to the door he gives her a military style salute, then turns and walks out the door. So when I see her, she is laughing and still waving, so I wave and walk outside, where K is asking himself what on Earth prompted him to salute her. lol It was quite funny. So, bottom line, if you want to let a girl know you're interested, put two fingers to your forehead and salute. That's the official new "hottie salute."

Long Day
Went to the large metropolis of Phil Campbell to help LMV film a high school band competition Saturday. I tell you, there's nothing I like more than listening to a good high school band... or nothing I like less. Whichever. Really, though, it wasn't too bad. Being around those kids and overhearing conversations and such made me realize, high school is definitely one of the best times in life, unless you're like an outcast or something. Enjoy it while you can. Shane brought Sarah, Paul, and Jenna down from Nashville. Sarah had never seen any cotton before. Well, I'm sure she saw a lot yesterday. There was a hottie working one of the vendor booths, but I was unable to ever find a chance to talk to her, even though her booth was only about fifteen feet from ours. These little kids were trying to peddle some cheeseburgers to Tag, Kyle, and me. I was like, "Did you cook them?" She was like, "No, we bought them at McDonald's." I'm thinking, "Well, you're mother is really cute and all, but no way I'm buying a McDonald's cheeseburger for $2. Got back here around 10:00, then we all decided to eat at Logan's. Sat with Bizarro Shane. Boy, it was really bizarre seeing Bizarro Shane take Shane's order. It was like worlds collided or something.

Paperback Writer
Tomorrow's the day. The start of National Novel Writing Month. 50,000 words in 30 days. I still have no idea. Maybe I'll dream something tonight. Or I can be the first person ever who fails to reach 100 words.

Weekend funnies
"You can't just start going to a restaurant, sit with the same chick two or three times, and then ask her out. That's unheard of."

"Look, that one has a solid rocket booster."

"Why can't we remember her name?"
"Probably because she wasn't that good-looking."

"Dear sir or madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write it, will you take a look? It's based on a novel by a man named Lear, and I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer..."

Friday, October 29, 2004

Imitation Friday Five

Another Friday Five? Well, since the the original shut down in May, a couple of imitations have popped up. This is one.

1. Do you celebrate Halloween?
Yes. Almost always. Mostly. I think. Well, I buy candy, but not many kids come by. I do usually rent a couple of scary movies and watch them, and I occasionally go to a lame Halloween party.

2. Scariest movie you've ever seen:
I think Psycho is the best. The Ring really freaked me out for some reason, as far as more recent movies go. The Exorcist, The Shining, and Needful Things round out my top five, I guess.

3. Did you carve a pumpkin this year?
No, I was much too busy carving other things.

4. Best costume you've ever worn or seen:
There was a guy in Applebees one night who looked EXACTLY like Bill Clinton, although I'm not sure it was a costume, since it wasn't even October. Holly's cheerleader costume from a couple of years ago would rank pretty high, too ;-)

5. Trick.. or treat?
Trick.. or snap. lol More from the Seinfeld Halloween bit. I guess I'd say treat.

"And I was not the answer, so forget you ever thought it was me. I'm not the one who broke you. I'm not the one you should fear..."

The fizz in a Pepper

Well, I have to begin writing my novel in 3 days, and I have NO IDEA!! Pendant Publishing is not going to be happy. Maybe I could write a novel about nothing. Hmmm. Anyway, today's blog includes a couple of features I hope you enjoy, the Friday Flashback and Search String Hysteria.

Seinfeld Trivia
What fake charity does George give out donation cards for as Christmas gifts at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?

Yesterday's answer was indeed Snoopy and Prickly Pete. ("The Wizard")

Car Wash
While staring outside thru the door of the compound yesterday, I noticed my truck looked like I had covered it in glue or some other clear adhesive and then driven it thru the Sahara Desert. So I took it to the car wash last night. Watched some football. ESPN and ESPN2 will have a college football game on for 19 straight nights, beginning with last night. I'm giddy!! Went to Wal-Mart to buy some Halloween candy, among other stuff. I hope you've heard Seinfeld's excellent Halloween bit from "I'm Telling You For The Last Time." "Of course, my mother makes me wear my winter coat over the costume anyway. I don't recall Superman wearing a jacket." May have to look some of that up and post it later.

Search String Hysteria
Oh, those crazy googlers and yahooers. Recent searches for my site:
- sissy girl spanked pictures (This month's winner!)
- "shoot George Bush"
- sexy Rio hotties (hey, I'm with ya on that one)
- what does "fizz in a pepper" mean
- me names jeremy "no more" girl used kansas city mo hair 2004 love HIM hate die (do huh?)
- lady aberlin pics (dude, seriously)
- "Like Mike, If I could be like Mike" lyrics
- seinfeld dreaded device kramer (I believe you mean the dreaded apparatus.)

What does "fizz in a pepper" mean?
The most popular search over the past couple of weeks has been related to the Tim McGraw song, "Back When." Well, here are the lyrics for you. As far as this particular phrase, I am fairly certain it refers to the practice of putting peanuts in a Coke, or in this case, a Dr. Pepper, and the fizz that results. Yes, this is done, especially here in the South. Well, maybe not so much anymore. I guess that's the point of the song. You should try it sometime. Works much better in a bottle, rather than a can ;-)

Friday Flashback
It's time for the Friday Flashback, because nothing good ever happens anymore. So many memorable events happened on the lake house trip in January. This particular one, I like to call the James Brown story. Enjoy:

And now it's time for "Playing Cranium with a bunch of white people":
So there's this one part of Cranium where you describe a famous person. You can talk and move, but you can't say names of people or places. So here were my clues:
"I am the godfather of soul."
"I was in prison for awhile, and people wore t-shirts that said, free me."
OK, now can you not guess who that is? No one at the lake house knew who I was talking about. I would think the first clue would be a dead giveaway.

"So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out. Allow if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive. And if you follow there may be a tomorrow. But if the offer is shunned, you might as well be walkin' on the sun..."

Thursday, October 28, 2004

86 Years, Down The Drain

Seinfeld Trivia
When George is lying to the Rosses about having a house in the Hamptons, what are the names of the two horses he makes up?

Monday's answer was "Alive."

Signs You're At A Lame Halloween Party
(From Letterman the other night...)
- All the decorations say Happy Hannukah.
- Well, for starters, it's April.
- "Bobbing for apples" inadvertently becomes "bobbing for the fat kid's retainer."
- When a guy dressed as the grim reaper leaves, you notice your grandparents are missing.
- Your wife's been upstairs with the guy in the Bill O'Reilly costume for two hours.

You call THAT a World Series?
Well, the anti-climatic Series is over. All that history of failures. All the memories. The heartbreaks. The close calls. Down the drain. And now somewhere several million Cubs fans are muttering, "Told you our curse was worse." I don't know what happened to the Cardinals. They folded like a frightened Texas hold-em player with a 3 and an 8. Like 25 pieces of origami. I mean, the Red Sox played great, obviously, but come on. The Yankees/Sox series was like the US/Soviet 1980 Olympic hockey game, and this World Series was like the gold medal game that year that no one remembers, when the US beat Finland.

My friend, Jeno
"Is that delivery?" "No, it's Jeno." You'll never have to worry about such silly questions when you purchase a quality Jeno's pizza. And at 99 cents, it's quite a bargain. Anyways, that's what I had for supper last night. I know, you're hungry now, right?

I hope everyone got to see the lunar eclipse last evening. Hmm, a lunar eclipse, the Red Sox win the World Series... what's going on here? Next thing you know, I'll be getting married.

Sein Language
This was an interesting topic that came up on Seinology the other day. What words or phrases from Seinfeld do you use in everyday life? I'm sure most of us have used the cliched "not that there's anything wrong with that" or "no soup for you" occasionally. A couple I can think of that my friends and I use are:
"Oh nooooo. I'm sorry. The correct answer is Moops."
"You've screwed me again, Pennypacker."
"How long have I been asleep? What year is this?"
"Serenity now!!"

Laa da da daaa
As many of you know, the tune to "Carol of the Bells" has been permanently stuck in my head for the past year or more. I don't know why, but year round, I can be heard randomly humming this tune. As disturbing as that is, that's another bloglet... or a topic for another therapy session. Anyway, here's a quote from the other night:
"It's almost that time of the year, when I can sing Carol of the Bells, and no one will look at me funny."
"Well, they'll still look at you funny, but at least it'll be the right season."

"And though the boy knew the truth, sometimes he'd still believe that lie..."

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


I have been waiting to post this story all day:
Delta Grounds Blogging Flight Attendant

Well, I'm not opposed to supporting a damsel in distress. (And it has nothing to do with the fact that she has nice legs.) The poor hottie. When will this insanity end? By the way, be sure to check out her blog.

"I had too much caffeine and I was thinkin' about myself. Then there she was, in platform double suede. Yeah, there she was, like disco lemonade..."

Blogger hacked

Ugh. Finally. Well, was apparently hacked at some point this morning. So I was unable to post for several hours. It appears most everything is back up and running now. Now what was that about finally getting my own domain?

"Put on my blue suede shoes and I boarded the plane. Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues, in the middle of a pouring rain..."

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Monday Madness on Tuesday

Well, I was browsing thru some memes and came across Monday Madness. I decided to do an old one, from a couple of weeks ago. Maybe from now on, I can actually do it on Mondays. Or more likely, I'll completely forget about it.

Name 3 things....

1....your ideal salad has on it.
Hmm, cucumbers, bacon bits, and cheeeeeeeese! do religiously in the morning.
Um, shower, take Vitamin C, brush teeth. look forward to doing in your spare time.
Sleeping, watching Seinfeld, and ummm, shoot pool.'ve never done before, but think you will at some point in your life.
Ask a girl for her phone number. What? Um, get married (surely), fly, and take the Kramer Reality Tour. love to do while on vacation.
Sit on the beach at night, get a snack out of the vending machine at the hotel, and... I guess, sleep late. took pictures of in the last month.
The last three things I remember taking pictures of are my new ultra-bright alarm clock, screen shots of Nintendo games, and my Cactus Club t-shirt. have to do before the end of the day.
Pray, blog, and have a Sun Drop. like about your best friend.
OK, that's kinda gay.

"A woman loves beyond her questions, and dreams beyond her doubts. Her heart will lead and she will follow, even when there's no way out. Her eyes refuse to see the danger, as she walks right thru the fire. A man may give himself to passion and desire, but a woman loves..."

Are you dressing up for Halloween?

I think the worst part about being a fly would be if you flew inside someone's car and they went on a long trip. When you finally get out of there, you're hundreds of miles from home. And you only have a life expectancy of like a day anyway, so you're probably never gonna see your family again.

So who's dressing up? What are you gonna be? Who's going to a party? I told myself last year that I'd definitely dress up as Nelly this year, if I dressed up. Someone also suggested Steve-O. I guess I could slap on a leopard-print thong and go with it. Either way, I'll be sure to post pictures.

Alabama Invasion
I love history. I found this interesting: Military Planned Alabama Invasion
20,000 troops? Ha! It would've taken a lot more than that to defeat the Alabama militia.

Hurts to say
Root canal, catheter, torn achilles' tendon, vasectomy... some things hurt just to say. Dad had a colonoscopy yesterday. Ouch. I'm sure he appreciates me telling the world about it. Everything looked OK, apparently, but he's still awaiting some test results.

The rest of the story
Had dinner at Logan's last night. This is quickly becoming a second hangout. The food is usually good. The servers have all quickly learned the correct procedures (free soft drinks, free salads, sit down and chat, etc.). And, maybe most importantly, no obvious freaks working there.

Called and talked to the proud new dad last night. They're supposed to be coming home today:
"It's pretty neat."
"Yeah, I'll have to get me one of those."
"How are you gonna do that?"
"Well, I'm not quite sure. I haven't gotten that far yet."

Game 3 of the World Series is tonight. Just about a must-win for the Cards.

Hottie alert: Misty May & Kerri Walsh on Leno tonight, in a repeat.

"You left my heart as empty as a Monday morning church. It used to be so full of faith and now it only hurts. And I can heart the devil whisper things are only getting worse. You left my heart as empty, as a Monday morning church..."

Monday, October 25, 2004

In a van down by the river

It is just me, or is the World Series just a wee bit anti-climatic after that Yankees/Red Sox series? I mean, obviously not to SL or Red Sox fans. But to the general baseball fan. It's kinda like the old Cowboy/49er NFC Championship games. You always wished they could meet in the Super Bowl. Or like Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi in the semifinals of the US Open. Sure you want them to win the finals, but it can't live up to the semifinal. Or it'd be kinda like me going out with Charlize Theron, then having a date with some girl I've always wanted to go out with my whole life. I mean, sure this girl is nice, but I've already been out with Charlize. Ya know?

Seinfeld Trivia
What book is Newman reading while Kramer soaks in the hot tub after getting sunburned? (Hint: It was also a movie.)

Friday's answer was Latvian Orthodox. ("The Conversion") George even cheated on his conversion test, but in the end it wasn't enough. His girlfriend tells him she's not ready for a commitment because she's planning to spend a year in Latvia.

Motivationally speaking
"Now you kids are probably thinking, hey I'm gonna go out there and get the world by the tail, wrap it around, pull it down, and put it in your pocket. But I'm here to tell you that as you go out there, that you're probably gonna find out that you're not gonna amount to JACK SQUAT!!" ROFL

Oh man, every school kid should hear that speech. That is my favorite SNL skit, I think, ever... motivational speaker Matt Foley. I bought the best of Chris Farley the other night at Best Buy and watched it last night.

Sunday nights
There's something about Sundays, especially Sunday nights, that feel lonesome to me. (Feels like I've blogged this before.) I suppose part of it is that the weekend is ending. The end of something is often sad. There's not as much to do on Sunday nights, and no matter how much you find to do, you can't put off Monday. But it's more than that. I can't explain it. I'm not even completely sure why it feels like that, but Sunday nights always leave me with a lonesome, melancholy, terminal feeling.

Bone's financial advice
Kyle was carrying around 3 DVD's the other night and as we were getting ready to leave, he put them down and was like, "Eh, I don't need to buy these."
So I responded with the following financial advice. Feel free to apply it to your own life:
"Sure you can. Just pretend you had a date tonight, and this is the money you would have spent on her."
"Hmmm... OK."
"See? That's the good thing about being single."

"I'm no good just believing in someone else. Would you think I were weak if I just break down? Oh no, it's coming on again. Hold on, it won't take long. Blue Monday, it's a big Monday ahead..."

Stupid, sorry people

Here's the story about the wreck I saw yesterday. I knew it. He never had a chance.

Wreck Leaves One Dead, Alcohol Involved

Meme meme meme me!

1. Blackout:: New York
2. Platinum:: record
3. Leather and lace:: Silk and Saddle
4. Court:: TV
5. Mind your own business:: Hank Williams Sr.
6. Gambling:: Kenny Rogers
7. Lily:: Susan Ross
8. Evasive:: Maneuver
9. Turn-on:: turn-off
10. Suspect:: usual
(from unconscious mutterings)

Kramer: "Hey! George, Lily."
Susan: "No. Susan."
Kramer: "No, no. It's Lily."
Susan: "I think I know my own name."
George: "It's Susan."
Kramer (confused): "Well, you look like a Lily."

Hey, if you're looking for something to spruce up your blog for the holidays... or just something to make it slightly more interesting, check out the Memes List. I'll post a permanent link to it.

"Cos it's all in my head, I think about it over and over again. I can't keep picturing you with him, and it hurts so bad..."

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic

It's a boy!
Congratulations to Shane & Melody on the birth of their new baby blogger, Regan Bone McNeill. Thanks guys, I'm honored... What? It's not? Oh. Well, Regan something McNeill. What a wondrous event when a new blogger enters the world. Last I heard, everyone was doing well. I guess that means I'm next. Well, it's between Bunny, Kyle, and me. I think I'd make a good father. Of course, you have to have a date first.

More weekend
Haven't blogged much. Haven't been in the mood. Bought some clothes at Old Navy Friday night. Got one shirt for $2.48. All long sleeves, even though there's no sign of long-sleeve weather in sight. I'm sure it'll cool down soon. Bama lost yesterday 17-13. Went over to watch the game with some friends. It's not easy losing to Tennessee most every year. Grilled up some pork chops today for lunch. My sister loaned me their shop vac and Dad let me use his carpet shampooer, so I got the smelly room smelling slightly better this evening.

I saw a bad wreck on the way home from church tonight. A car had apparently hit a motorcycle. The motorcycle was torn to pieces. The guy was sprawled in the middle of the road. Someone was doing CPR on him. No cops or paramedics were there yet. I don't think he made it. Just kinda left me shaken for awhile.

Well, I think I may fix a little late supper and watch the World Series. Talk to ya tomorrow...

"Thru eighty-six years of perpetual motion, if he likes you he'll smile and say, some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way..."

Friday, October 22, 2004

Look away! I'm hideous!

Gene Stallings was just on Paul Finebaum. I can't pick it up in here because it's a weak AM station, so I had to go out to my truck and listen to it. Good stuff.

Seinfeld Trivia
What religion did George convert to for a woman?

Yesterday's answer was indeed head patting. Before mingling at a party, Jerry suggested to Elaine that they come up with a signal in case one of them got into a bad conversation, the other would see it and come bail them out. ("The Stranded")

I got the last name
Went to eat last night. Sat with a very hot server. Well, I got to noticing on the check that it had her first name and the first three letters of her last name. So I said something to her and she smiled. So when she brought the checks, she pointed to mine and was like, "There, I finished it for you." She had spelled out the rest of her last name. Does that mean anything? Probably not. I thought about writing down the area code and seeing if she'd finish her phone number as well. But I thought it would be safer to just smile a goofy smile, leave a 30% tip, and exit quickly. I kinda felt like George when he found out Kramer's first name was Cosmo... or even better than that. Or something.

Bizarro Great American Smokeout
Also shot some pool last night. There were lots of hotties up there. It also got really smoky in there. It reminded me of the Seinfeld where Kramer invites smokers into his apartment:
J: "What happened to your face? It looks like an old catcher's mitt."
K: "My face is all craggly. It's crinkly."
J: "It's from all that smoke. You've experienced a lifetime of smoking in 72 hours. What did you expect?"
K: "Emphysema, birth defects, cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood. Everything I have I owe to this face."
J: "And your teeth, your teeth are all brown."
K: "Look away, I'm hideous!"

No, it's not a new hormone pill. It stands for hot water heater. The guy came and installed a new one yesterday afternoon. So the leak is fixed, however, the extra room still smells like a vomitorium. I gotta rent a carpet shampooer or something. (Shampooer? That's a funny word.)

Off day
I took off work today. I set no alarm clocks last night and didn't open my eyes until 11:30 today. Clearly, I needed some rest. Here's something odd: I took off work Friday, October 24th, last year, which was also the Friday before the Alabama/Tennessee game. What is up with that? Must be something with my cycles. (What?) Maybe I just get burned out every year about this same time. I have also noticed that I don't think I have had a girlfriend on Halloween for like the past 3 or 4 years. Seems like relationships tend to end late summer/early fall for me. The important thing is that I learned something... or very little.

"We didn't do anything to freak her out on the 4th of July.... unless you did something before I got there."

"So why didn't anything ever happen between the two of you?"
"Well, for one thing, she's 21 and still lives at home..."

"She probably has a boyfriend."
"Yeah, probably. There's only one way to find out... and I don't know it."

"You walk before me, lord knows I can't follow. You walk behind me, and I don't think I can lead. You walk around me. Please don't walk around me, cos you know how dizzy I get..."

Thursday, October 21, 2004

A new kind of surf & turf ;-)

Some of you around here probably already saw this:
New McDonald's Reopens; To Feature An Internet Lounge.

So, next time your internet service is down, just head down to McDonald's for a Big Mac and some time on the world wide web. A new kind of Surf & Turf, if you will. Let's stop by McDonald's and grab a megabyte. Billions and billions of servers. OK, that last one didn't make sense. I just hope it doesn't become like the little jukeboxes on each table at the Rockin' McDonald's. I mean, they worked for like six months. By the time they weren't popular anymore and you could actually hear the song you wanted before you got finished eating, they didn't work anymore. Oh well, it should be interesting to check out...

"Signs, signs, everywhere a sign. Blocking out the scenery, breakin' my mind. Do this, don't do that. Can't you read the sign?"

It's all damp and stuff... ugh.

Seinfeld Trivia
Jerry and Elaine agreed to use what signal if one of them got into a bad conversation at a party?

Monday's answer was Uma Thurman. ("The Secretary") Correctly answered by Lindsy. Kramer left Uma's phone number in the pocket of a suit he sold to Bania. Bania ended up going out with her...
Bania: "Well, let's hurry up and eat, I gotta get out of here. I'm meeting a woman for a drink."
Jerry: "Oh, and who might that be?"
Bania: "Some woman named Uma. I got her number off of that ticket before it was smudged. Hope she's good-looking!"

What's that wet spot?
Came home yesterday to discover some leakage (sounds like a personal problem) in my spare bedroom. Nothing appeared to be coming from the ceiling, so I first thought some water had seeped in from all the rain we'd had the past couple of days. But upon closer examination, it appears the hot water heater is leaking. Ugh. Nothing like that mildewy smell early in the morning. Best thing about living in an apartment? I don't have to fix it.

I got nothin'
Novel? HAAA! I don't think I could even write a blank-inside greeting card right now. Eleven days until NaNoWriMo and I got nothin'. Here's a article about blogging your novel. I need some inspiration.

Other stuff
I love when someone I haven't talked to in two months calls me to let me know the Red Sox are winning. Thanks very much. You had to love the "Who's Your Daddy" chant, though. That was by far the longest, loudest chant I've ever heard at a baseball game. However, Pedro was the only pitcher the Yanks could hit last night.

I don't know who to be for now, probably the NL team. It might be one of those things where I don't really know who I'm for until I start watching it... kinda like every Super Bowl since 1996. Stupid Dallas...

I think I heard them say, "No team in history has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit" about five hundred and eighty seven times.

If I get one more IM saying, "I just broke up with my boyfriend and I posted some sexy pictures of myself..." well, I guess I'm just gonna have to click on it. What?

33 days until the DVDs about nothing!!!

I've been thinking about taking off tomorrow. I might need a day to prepare for the game Saturday. Nervous... Come on, Bama.

"Hear 'em singing happy birthday. Better think about the wish I make. This year gone by ain't been a piece of cake. Every day's a revolution. Pull it together and it comes undone. Just one more candle and a trip around the sun..."

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The Ultimate 80's Quiz!

Wow, those are some great questions. You gotta take this one! It's 100 questions, so clear out a little time. I didn't do as well on this as I did on the 80's lyrics quiz a few months back. The movie part really killed me. I don't know movies near as well as I know music. I never saw half of those. So, are you stuck in the 80's more than I am? Can you beat 60 out of 100? Take it for yourself:

The Ultimate 80's Quiz (from Liquid Generation)

"Don't say you're easy on me. You're about as easy as a nuclear war. There's a dream that strings the road, with broken glass for us to hold. And I got so far before I had to say, please please tell me now, is there something I should know? Is there something I should say..."

It's been a year...

Remember this guy? It's been one year today since he actually did what I'm sure so many of us have thought of doing before.

Love this part... "On Dec. 18, Jones paid $500 (Canadian) in fines and was barred from Canada for a year." Boy, that'll show him. Can you imagine not being able to go to Canada for a whole year? Here's what I wrote about it when it happened.

"Thunderbolts and lightning. Very, very frightening. Me! Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, figaro, magnifico! I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me. He's just a poor boy from a poor family."

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Flu Shot Insanity

Iowa Mall To Hold Flu Shot Lottery

Now, I've never had a flu shot, but that seems like craziness.

Rainy days always make me think of you
When I stepped outside this morning, it was raining so hard I was looking for the peak of Mount Ararat. And since I'm way too manly (or way too stupid) to carry an umbrella, I took off running for the truck... except that... I can't run. So my foot hurted bad.

Did you just say the rines are crossed?
Had to call BellSouth yesterday because there's trouble on my line. I would have tried to fix it on my own, but they said if I did that one more time that I'd never be able to get phone service from them again. What? The line has been getting quite staticy over the past few weeks, especially when it had rained. Then the other night, the rines got crossed and I overheard part of someone's conversation, which was pretty cool.

Evaluate Your Life
Today is Evaluate Your Life Day, billed by its creators as a day "to encourage everyone to check and see if they're really headed where they want to be." More likely, it's a day meant to make people realize they're not where they want to be, probably not even close. But if you must take an overview, let me suggest the words of the always inspirational George Louis Costanza: "If you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent."

Is there something I should know?
Oh yeah, don't miss Duran Duran tonight on Jay Leno. Now, you're probably wondering like I was wondering... is this the original Duran Duran, or is this gonna be like some Lynyrd Skynyrd or Beach Boys show where there's only like one original member still alive and whose brain hasn't been completely fried by years of drinking and drug use? Well, according to my daily update from the official Duran Duran website (what?), the band's new album, Astronaut, is the first in 21 years to feature the five original members... which would be Simon, Nick, Andy.... um.. George and Ringo. Yeah.

"Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand, just like that river twisting through a dusty land. And when she shines, she really shows you all she can. Oh Rio, Rio, dance across the Rio Grande..."

Monday, October 18, 2004

Sorry, I know it's been awhile

Seinfeld trivia
Who's phone number does Kramer leave in the suit he sells to Bania?

Friday's answer: "The Net"
Frank tells George he saw "The Net" on cable TV, prompting him to start selling computers out of his garage. He hires George and Lloyd Braun, calling George his "secret weapon." (Congratulations to no one, who emailed in that correct answer.)

Come on, Yankees...
Urgh, just finished watching the Yankees/Red Sox. What is the deal with these games? The last three have all lasted 4-5 hours. Does Fox need ratings that bad? (<--- rhetorical question)

Have I ever told you how I feel about Joe Buck and Tim McCarver? Well, I'm about to. Listening to Joe Buck is like listening to the most boring professor you ever had in college, lecturing non-stop in a monotone voice from the time class starts until it ends, except in this case, you can't get up and walk out of class. The only thing that could possibly be worse is Tim McCarver's uncolorful, non-insightful commentary. It's like he's explaining baseball to some 12-year-old Liberian immigrant who has never even heard of the game. I equate it to being locked in a room with a hundred screaming kids who are all scraping their fingernails across a chalkboard. It makes me want to carve the MLB emblem into my abdomen with a large, jagged cleaver. On a positive note, I do enjoy Al Leiter being in the booth. (Wasn't he a rated rookie?) Although he doesn't speak nearly enough.

Went to the Bama game Saturday. We got a nice 27-3 homecoming win over Southern Mississippi. They were undefeated coming in and ranked 24th. Even though they were probably a bit overrated, we'll take it. We're 5-2 now, with a HUGE game this week at Tennessee. Oh man, I'm already getting nervous.

You're asking ME?
Went to therapy this afternoon. When we got done, the therapist was like, "So do you feel like you need to come back anymore?" Uh... So anyway, no more therapy for me, as long as things continue to progress. I just have to do my exercises at home now. She said it would probably be months before I could run. Wow, I had no idea all this would take such a long time. But she did say she thought I was doing very well, considering the injury I had, so I guess that's good.

OK, Houston just beat St. Louis 3-0. Their game started at 7:30. The Yankees started at 4, and they ended about 20 minutes apart. lol Wow.

Random funny:
"My birthday is on Saturday next year, which means Christmas will be on Saturday this year."
"Do you know what day Thanksgiving will be on?"
"Umm, I'm guessing a Thursday."

"Back when a hoe was a hoe, coke was a Coke, and crack's what you were doin' when you were crackin' jokes..."

I want to do this...

I used to do it. Word Association (attempt #2). See? I want to do it again. Besisdes, it kinda reminds me of being back in therapy. No wrong answers!

1. Dimension:: fifth
2. Roger:: Clemens
3. CSI:: crime scene
4. Passenger:: driver
5. Thankful:: glorious
6. Has-been:: never was; Little Jerry Seinfeld
7. Bambino:: Babe Ruth
8. Wrinkles:: age
9. Cable TV:: UHF
10. Voicemail:: code

(from Unconscious Mutterings)

"Take a look at me now, cos I'll still be standing here. And you coming back to me is against all odds. It's a chance I've got to take..."

Friday, October 15, 2004

You might need a life IF...

Today's Seinfeld Trivia question:
What movie prompted Frank Costanza to begin selling computers from home?

Yesterday's answer was indeed Christopher Cross. (episode: The Milennium)

You might need a life...
After watching the World Scrabble Championships yesterday afternoon on ESPN2, I started thinking I could build an entire comedy routine based on the phrase, "You might need a life," similar to Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck" jokes. For example:

-If you watch more than five minutes of the World Scrabble Championships on TV...
-If you own 450 Nintendo games...
-If you're over 30 and go to Best Buy every Saturday night to play free video games...
-If you keep an online journal, detailing your entire life... Oh wait. What?

Time to spare
Well, I did it! Recieved my cell phone bill today. Over the past two weeks of the billing cycle, I used 36 daytime, weekday minutes. That's 3.6 minutes per day. I even ended up with five minutes to spare to rollover to this month. Wow, I was really a cell phone miser over those two weeks. Very parsimonious.

Zoloft, Zoloft, Everywhere...
Went to Logan's with Kyle for dinner last night. Yet another Sara waited on us. The pen she left for K to sign his check with was a Zoloft pen. That made his night, as you might imagine. I'm like, dude, you've got the perfect in with her. "Uh, excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you gave me a Zoloft pen. Well, I happen to be taking that, too. Maybe I could give you a call sometime." Got done up there about 8:45. The night was young, but I am not, so I headed home.

Friday Flashback
For today's FF, I thought instead of one particular event, I'd include a few daily funny flashbacks. There come from the month of March 2004. Enjoy:

"To his credit though, she's not anything to write home about, BUT, she IS female."
"Well female is a good quality. It is almost always the first thing i look for."
"It should be THE first."
"Yeah, that's what I meant."

H: "Ya'll are like two kids. That's stuff that kids order."
K: "Yeah. So?"
H: "When are ya'll gonna turn into men?"
(K and J look at each other confusedly.)
J: "Oh, don't hold your breath."

"Wow, you got her name already? I'm impressed."
"Well I assume that's her name. That's what's on her name tag."

"35-14 is a football score. It's not the ages of two people that should be dating."

"So what now? It's plain to see we're over. And I hate when things are over, and so much is left undone..."

In the news...

Another entry is coming later today, but I've been busy, so this is all I've got right now...

Study Indicates 1 in 400 Are Human Lie Detectors
That's pretty cool. I have a pretty keen sense of knowing when someone is fibbin'.

Lousiana Professor Goes On Rampage, Threatens Class
Dude, I think I had him!! Except he used to teach poli-sci :-)

And finally, Woman Impaled On Bed Spring For Over Three Hours
"Million-to-one shot, doc. Million-to-one shot."

"He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me, when a moment came that stopped me on a dime..."

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Times, they are a-changin'

OK, today we start a new feature on IYROOBTY, Seinfeld trivia!! (applause.... applause dies.. or never starts.. whichever) Each day, I will (try to) post a Seinfeld trivia question. You can comment with the answer, or just answer to yourself. Then I will give you the answer the following day (or the next day that I post), and ask another question. Sound fun? Just wait. You have no idea.

Today's Seinfeld trivia question
What singer did Newman say he'd booked in 1978 for his milennium party?

Boy, these medical bills are really starting to cut into my Russian bride fund. Seriously. I'm not even trying to be funny here.

Thank you, Fox!
Fox showed the baseball playoffs last night during the 3rd Prez Debate, so there was something else I could watch. Not that there aren't a hundred other channels anyway. What, am I living in the seventies with only four UHF channels and rabbit ears with tin foil wrapped around them, on top of a black and white Zenith TV, on which the channel knob is broke, so that I have to turn it with a pair of pliers.... uh... for example.

Just answer the question, FCOL!
I did see a few answers from the debate. Still no one talking much about gas prices and no mention of any kind of No-Blogger Left Behind plan. That's what we in the internet heartland all want to see. I found this description of Bush to be quite humorous, and upon further review, eerily accurate (from Trout Fishing In South-Central Wisconsin):

"...a petulant child-man with the demeanor of a guy who was supposed to be a contestant on Wheel of Fortune but somehow wandered onto the Jeopardy! set instead and is trying unsuccessfully to pretend that he's not on the wrong show."

From MSNBC, Keith Olberman scores the debate like a 21-round heavyweight fight. (link snagged from Giggle Chick).

Jon Stewart To Replace Letterman...
OK, not really. But let me be the first to suggest Jon Stewart as Dave's replacement somewhere down the road. The guy is hilarious. He'd kick Conan's tail all the way back to Nova Scotia. I'm not saying Letterman needs to go anytime soon, but Dave is what, 57? Stewart is in his early 40's and he is "on" every single time I watch him. I mean, who else you gonna get? Kilborn quit. Regis is 140 years old.

We watched a few minutes of his show last night. He was quoting some official talking about the Iraq elections, who said, "There is a good chance that several of the polling stations will be shot at." Stewart said, "To provide incentive, voters who are shot will receive a free 'I Voted' head wound dressing." That's good stuff.

I hurt my ankle, so why are you rubbing me there??
I have my second session of therapy this afternoon. I still can't run. Yesterday, I started trying to lightly jog. Nuh uh! Not happenin'. Mucho pain. So I guess that could take a while yet. I am so thankful just to be walking fairly normally again. I think it's neat how such a small, seemingly insignificant ligament is so important.

"Remember yesterday, walking hand in hand, love letters in the sand? I remember you. Thru all the sleepless nights. Thru every every endless day. I'd wanna hear you say, I remember you..."

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Long sleeves and hot chocolate...

The chilly weather has arrived!

Boo! Posted by Hello

What is this?
a) Time remaining until the end of the world.
b) Ratio of guys to girls on any given night at The Brick.
c) My personal best time in the mile.

The answer? Well, actually, it would be none of the above. That is my new ultra-luminescent alarm clock, which also serves as a reading light, and kills mosquitos as well. Figured I'd give you some idea of what I wake up to each morning, although it's hard to get an idea of how bright it is on here. I actually took this picture from across the room ;-)

Other randomness
-Seems like we went right from using the AC to using the heat, overnight. Literally. I need some solid cool, moderate, utility-bill-reducing time.

-I saw a bluebird today, which caused me to think of the song, Winter Wonderland. I've always wondered, what the crap kind of bird is a new bird?

-Remember when Kyle had two blogs?

-No solid ideas yet for my 50,000-word novel. See? That's the hardest part, coming up with an idea. Filling 200 pages with interesting and creative writing and unexpected plot-twists, that's all secondary. Thus the phrase, a "novel" idea.

Last, and least
Julie Kelly (yes, Julie Kelly) won the WPBA's Canadian Classic Sunday, beating Allison 7-4 in the finals. Bob Corr finished third, allowing Allison to maintain her #1 ranking. Newcomer Hsin Huang also made the TV matches, finishing 4th. Check out the WPBA site for more. It's probably good for the game that someone other than Alli or Karen finally won one. Taking an overview, I don't think it's any coincidence that Allison has won both times at the Delta Classic, which I attended. Do you? ;-)

"The running and the races, the people and the places, there's always somewhere else I had to be. And time gets slim, my old friend..."

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

National Novel Writing Month

Thanks to Kerry at webgrits, I think I'm doing this.

NaNoWriMo? Sounds like something Robin Williams would say on Mork & Mindy.

50,000 words in 30 days... that's like... a lot of words each day. I figure I'll try it. Maybe if I can commit to a novel, then I'll eventually be able to commit to a relationship. You think? I remember back in high school, though, I could barely come up with 100 words for a book report. Of course, if I'd ever actually read the book, it might have been slightly easier. But, I digress.

So, it all starts November 1st. I just need a basic plot or just an idea and some lines to start with. That's the hardest part, getting started. Or completing it. Whichever. My main concern is that having to come up with 1666.66666666666666666666666666667 (I think the calculator function is one of Windows most useful accessories) words per day, my blog entries will suffer. ("Well, they can't get much worse!") Who said that?! Anyhow, when I get finished, I can post it here, so you can read 50,000 words of crap, rather than my usual 300 or so per entry. How's that?

OK, I have nineteen days to come up with some semblance of an idea...

"I'm just a blank sheet of paper. This fool's about to write you a letter, to tell you that he's sorry for the way he did you wrong, to ask for your forgiveness for leaving you alone..."

Blue Colored Glasses

For some reason this morning, I read a little bit of my old Angelfire blog. Check it out when you have a little free time. Wow, those were the early days. It's kinda like looking at Michelangelo's first finger-painting... or nothing at all like that.

Free pool on Sunday
Well, I think I can sum up the Nashville trip Sunday with this bit of prose from a little known, 21st century writer:
Hotties, hotties, everywhere
Hotties, hotties, I just stare
Hotties, hotties, everywhere
Say a word? I don't dare.

It was good to see S & M though, and to eat at Famous Dave's. One rather humorous moment occurred when I picked up a picture frame and there was a baby's picture in it that had come with the frame. I was like, "Wow, those ultrasounds are really advanced these days."

Yes, I'm in therapy
Well, I had my physical therapy yesterday. For some reason, they made me pay like $200 at the hospital before I even went to therapy because I hadn't met my deductible for the year. I've never really heard of paying like that. I guess the therapy went OK. The therapist was cute, so that's all that really matters, right?

Went to Wal-Mart yesterday. Bought a clock and forty-plus dollars worth of other stuff I didn't need. The clock has an extremely bright blue display. It illuminates the whole room. Plus, for about five or six hours after I leave, everything I see has a blue tint to it. But I'm sure that's normal.

Last night, we went to eat at the steak house. I watched Listen Up! Last night's ep was my favorite so far. Dennis Rodman guested. A couple of memorable lines:
"Loser, huh? Oh yeah? Well at least I'm not driving around in some ugly old... Ferrari."
"So because, to you, operating a cell phone is like piloting the space shuttle, it's my fault you had a wreck?"

And the Braves lost again. What a shock. For some reason, I thought they might win the first series, since Houston had never won a playoff series in the entire history of their team. Look, you can't throw Jaret Wright out there against Roger Clemens in Game One and expect good things to happen. I don't care what kind of season he's had. You've got to have a better ace than that. Of course my team didn't even make the playoffs, so, you know. I'm pulling for the Yankees, though. They're my second favorite.

You're not supposed to be here, John Conlee
More weird dreams last night. I dreamed I was somewhere around this big indoor pool. There were a couple of people I went to high school with there. Then John Conlee comes hurtling towards the water and swan dives a couple of times. Amazingly, there was very little splash. So then I tried talking to him about his songs, but he seemed put off by that and starting avoiding me. I have no idea where that dream came from.

They really said it
"Girls just go thru phases. (short pause). I guess. (short pause) I really don't know anything about them."

"Oh, I heard Howard Stern talking about it... and I've seen a few of their videos."

"There's a red Mary Kay car... from Ohio... with a guy driving?"

"She said, if this is how it's gonna be then I quit. When she walked out the door, I lost it. No one can make me cry, make me laugh, make me smile, or drive me mad like she does..."

Monday, October 11, 2004

Up, up, and away...

The man of steel :-( Posted by Hello

Actor Christopher Reeve dead at 52 (Newsday)

Another story

"I can't stand to fly. I'm not that naive. Men weren't meant to ride with clouds between their knees..."

Nocturnal Phantasm #1004A

Welcome to my subconscious...

Last night I dreamed that I came home and I could tell someone had been there. A couple of cabinets were open and there were a couple of other things that just weren't like I left them. Well, I searched every room, but could not find anyone. So finally, I remembered the attic. I did a Charlie's-Angels-movie leap and burst into the attic. Ahhh haaa!! There was the perpetrator, hiding in the attic. Well in this dream, the attic had two exits, when in reality it only has one. He tried escaping thru the other exit, but I apprehended him and called 9-1-1. The dispatcher answered and I told her to send someone to my address. But before I could tell her what happened, the man had turned into a housefly and flew back into the attic. Crap! Stupid cosmopolitan dipterans. I tried to explain this to her, and she said just to call back when he turned back into a man, because they couldn't arrest a fly.

Well finally after flying around a bit and at one point becoming stuck between the blinds and the window, he turned back into a man. So they sent two cops out and I was waiting for them at the front door. Well, before they even got all the way up to the door, they saw the man and said there was nothing they could do, just to let him go. What?!!? Turns out he was the dispatcher's boyfriend and they wouldn't arrest him. Argh! That's all I remember. Weird, huh?

"There were nights so long, I thought the sun burned out. There were girls so wrong, I don't wanna talk about..."

Sunday, October 10, 2004

All over the place

This should be rather random... Let me start by saying that I, like many of you, am disappointed. After watching part of the debate Friday night, it is obvious that the government has been hiding other internets from us. We should all be outraged. (Now, see, if Al Gore had been up there, he could have said, "Mister President, there is only one internet. I should know. I invented it.") SNL had a ball with that last night, as you might imagine.

Weekend recap
Sorry I haven't posted in like 50+ hours. It's been another weekend on the go. Had to be up bright and early yesterday to take my truck in to have the brakes fixed. Picked it up around 11:15. Mom and my sister had teamed up to cook lunch, so I headed over there to eat and watch the Bama game. We won, at last, 45-17. That was much needed. Last night, Jess and I went to eat at Chili's. We were going to Olive Garden, but weren't going to get seated until like November. Went by Best Buy to look at their PC's and walked around Barnes & Noble a little while. (Cartman voice): "Oh, that sounds sooooo exciting Mrs. Broflowski." Watched Mad TV's 200th show. Got to see Steph ;-)

Oh, there was like a 40-year-old man playing on an Xbox in Best Buy last night. They have like 6 or 8 of these things set up, and all these kids were playing on them, except for this one. Dude, it's Saturday night at 8:30. At least just buy and Xbox and play it at home.

Snoozing underwater?
I overslept a couple of mornings this week :-( See, what happened was... I always fix a glass of ice water and keep by my bed at night. Well, the other morning, when I was attempting to hit snooze (is that how you spell that?) I accidentally knocked over my cup of water, which was nearly full. It went all over my little bedside table, which contained by wallet, watch, keys, cell phone, remote control, alarm clock, etc. Well, everything seemed to be OK, but when I looked at my radio alarm clock, the hours were just counting up on their own... 6-7-8-9-10-11... I wasn't even touching it. I finally got that to stop. But now, it doesn't matter if you have the switch to on, off, radio, or alarm, the radio plays. I've unplugged it and tried everything. So I'm gonna have to get a new clock. Aren't you glad I shared that?

Reason #76...
...that I'm never having kids. These people around here leave their kids outside from 5:30 AM until 10 PM, mostly unsupervised. I live in a 10 unit courtyard style complex, with walls as thin as a leaf of cabbage. Screaming, yelling, banging, all day long. I love it. (Of course, that's not the main reason, but I digress.)

The WPBA's Canadian Classic is going on this weekend. Looks like Allison and Bob Corr played in the winner's bracket finals. Allison had a couple of tough matches early on, beating newcomer Kelli Fisher 9-8 and Ga Young Kim 9-8. Wow. The competition is getting tougher. The first semifinal will be Julie Kelly (whose twin sister happens to work at The Brick) and Hsin Huang, with Karen and Allison awaiting after that. Come on, Allison!

They really said it
"Another Cornelius?" (similar to "another bobka?" on Seinfeld.)

"Is this what the man's supposed to do or what the woman does to the man?"

"They have español Scrabble!! Look, they have the double L's.. the double R's! They have the N with the tilde!!!"

"I wish Opryland was still here."

OK, I am heading up to Nashville this afternoon. Hopefully, no ambiguous revolving door moments will occur today ;-)

"Don't you remember the fizz in a Pepper, peanuts in a bottle, at ten, two, and four? A fried bologna sandwich with mayo and tomato, sittin' round the table don't happen much anymore..."

Friday, October 08, 2004

A flashback sure to make you laugh

Sometimes I like including words like Taliban, missile, or Dick Cheney, just to ensure the FBI is still reading my blog...

Lunch lady land
Guess what I had for lunch yesterday? Sloppy Joes. Slop, Sloppy Joes. Last night was cajun night at RHG, so that's where we went for dinner. I had some seafood gumbo. It was decent. I'm gettin' hungry again.

Good people and tires
I tell you what, some people are just good, thru and thru, and they make the world a little bit better place to be. I went to get my tires rotated and balanced after work. The guy always cuts me an awesome deal. Well, I was telling him I thought I needed some brake shoes. I know, I should change them myself :-/ Anyhow, he's going to give me the pads and shoes at his cost, plus he's giving me 33% off his normal labor charge. I tried to tell him I would just pay regular price.

Well, that's enough right there. But you don't even know the tough time this guy has had. I won't go into details here, because it's his business, but it seems like bad things just keep happening. And when I say bad, I mean I really don't know how he stays in business. Honestly, a couple of things have happened to him, one of which would have probably wiped anyone else out. I just hope someday I can be the type of person that affects people in a positive way like that.

Friday Flashback
For today's flashback, we go back to this past February for this little gem, which once again happened in Nashville. I like to call this The Revolving Door Story. Enjoy:

Some really funny stuff happened at the Hard Rock. First of all, Kyle heads into the wrong side of the revolving door and it won't budge. So I just kinda stand back and laugh. So I start in the right side and for some reason, unbeknownst to heterosexual man, Kyle gets in the same little compartment as me. LOL Dude. Then the door gets stuck and won't push, and he's like "Oh (expletive), my foot is hung. Go! Go!" ROFL Fortunately, all this happened in a matter of ten seconds, but it seemed longer. It was quite funny.

You can imagine the looks we got once we were inside the restaurant :-) Have a super terrific weekend!

"Woke up in the morning, put on my new plastic glove. Served some re-heated salsbury steak, with a little slice of love. Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of. Just know everything's doing fine, down here in Lunch Lady Land..."

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Kill some time at work...

This is a pretty creative game. Ever wished you could shoot George Bush out of a cannon? Now's your chance. Play Political Circus.

Help your favorite candidate raise money for his campaign. Do tricks in the air to raise his approval rating. But watch out for the flip flops.

"So long ago I don't remember when, that's when they say I lost my only friend..."

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

You always knew I needed therapy

Well, I wore the Cactus Club tshirt into Applebees tonight so Donna could see it. Then after we shared a laugh, I immediately went out to my truck and changed shirts. Speaking of, I had some fans come by work today wanting to take a picture of me. lol Easy now, that's a quick way to mess up a perfectly good camera.

Physical therapy
Went to the orthopedist this afternoon. If everything goes well, that will be my last appointment with him. He said things were improving slowly and that my ankle was a lot more stable. He is sending me on to physical therapy now. My first appointment there is Monday.

Festivus In October
On a related note, Blue Cross covered little, if any, of the ER part of my bills, so I have decided to celebrate Festivus this year, rather than the traditional Christmas. Rather than buying gifts for you all, we will have the airing of grievances and the feats of strength as we gather around the Festivus pole ;-)

Lana Horne
A lady next to me in the waiting room was doing a crossword puzzle (I was being nosy). It was one of those hot single mother types that Kyle is so fond of. For ---- Horne, she had put Lana. (Lena's little known sister, no doubt.) In turn, that had screwed up her down clue, which was Yale ---. (Supposed to be Eli, but she had Ali.) "Here come the mightly Ali of Yale." See, the crossword puzzle is a funny thing. It really doesn't take very long to fill one out if you don't actually worry about putting the right letters in the blanks.

Just write a check, Mom
Remember when you were little, and you thought that your parents could just write a check for anything, for any amount? (Or maybe that was just me.) I remember whenever I'd want something and Mom or Dad would say they couldn't afford it, I would tell them to just write a check. Not understanding, of course, the principle of having to actually have money in the bank to cover the check. Then again, it seems some people never quite grasp that principle, even after they're grown.

"It was cool as a breeze. It was warm to the touch. It was never enough. It was always too much. It did all the things love does. That's how I knew it was..."

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

A little respect, please

Rodney Dangerfield dies at 82

"In the blink of an eye, sixty-seven is gone. The sun is gettin' high. We're movin' on..."

Blogging by Candlelight

If you know the clapping parts in Huey Lewis & The News' "Heart & Soul", AND you clap along to it, then my friend, this blog is for you...

A first time for everything
Wow! I was treated to a candlelight dinner for two last night. No special occasion or anything. Just out of the blue. That was pretty sweet. Maybe girls aren't so bad after all. lol The scary thing is, I really didn't even miss Monday Night Football. (Of course it was the Chiefs and Ravens...)

We are now accepting all incoming calls
Well, if I am right, my cell minutes reset yesterday. (If I am wrong, I'm going to owe several Halliburton shares-worth of money to Cingular.) So, for those of you who have been holding back, dial away. One of the guys from the softball team called today. He said after I got hurt, later in the year, another guy on the team had torn his calf muscle. Ouch!

Da Pip
Scottie Pippen Expected To Announce Retirement

"Next stop for Pippen... will be the Basketball Hall of Fame."
Hmm, what do you think about that? Is Pippen a lock for the Hall? His strongest claims would be the 7-time All-Star and being the #2 man on a team that won six titles. Yeah, I guess he's probably in. Either way, this is just another reminder of the dynasty that was Da Bulls. Michael Jordan and the Bulls transcended so many boundaries. Entire families would gather around the TV to watch Bulls games. I knew many people who weren't otherwise interested in basketball, people who sometimes weren't interested in sports at all, who would hardly miss a Bulls game. I dare say Pippen and Jordan complimented each other better than any other duo in NBA history. So it's over. I know that. It's been over. This is just another reminder.

I'm embarrassed to say, but I never knew Jamie Lee Curtis was Janet Leigh's daughter! How could that piece of information manage to avoid my brain all these years? Psycho is one of the best horror movies ever, regardless of when it was made, in my opinion.

"Could you sympathize with my needs? I know you think I need a lot. Started out clean, but I'm jaded. Just phoning it in, just breaking the skin..."

Monday, October 04, 2004

Pink Pony, Volcano, more...

Volcano Cam
I came across this random blog today, and stole this:

Volcano Cam, from Mount St. Helen's.

Then every blog I read after that had a link to the volcano cam, so once again, I'm bringing up the rear. Geesh. Hey, I just had a thought for a new movie, "Bone Versus The Volcano." I like the sound of that.

Blogs for $1000, Alex
There was actually a "blogs" category on a recent episode of Jeopardy. Read more about that here.

Referral Riffraff
Most popular searches over the past couple of weeks have been related to hurricane damage. Related to that, there have been a few inquiries as to Sea-n-Suds, the Pink Pony Pub, and other "landmarks" in GS. Well, I noticed today that the Pink Pony website has several post-Ivan pictures up.

A couple of searches of interest:
- view tampax leak tv commercial
- Wanna see my bellybutton?

I'm also getting a large number of hits for the song 1985 (by Bowling For Soup, I believe). You know, the Bruce Springsteen, Madonna song. So I figured I'd do you a favor and post a link to the lyrics:

1985 - Bowling For Soup

"The sea is high, and I'm heading into a crisis, chasing the years of my life..."

You mean there was a weekend??

Random NES tip o' the day: If your game loses memory each time you power down, try pressing and holding the reset button each time you turn off the system. This should work. For these and other helpful tips, be looking for my soon-to-be-launched website,

Zoom zoom
Why do weekends seem to slip by so quickly? This one was especially fast for me, as I was hardly at home all weekend. I apologize as my time for blogging seems to have been greatly reduced the past couple of weeks. In turn, I've had little time to peruse other blogs. In addition, I compose a daily blogging mass email to send to other area bloggers, and I've even had to let that go the past several days. What's a blogger to do?

Bone P.I.
Friday night, Kyle and I headed over to the Jazz Factory to shoot some stick. For once, it actually didn't smell like the inside of a Swisher Sweets factory in there, and they always have great bands there. After we got back, I headed up to AB's for a late-night dinner. Sissy was up there, so I ended up doing a little undercover questioning and investigating ;-) I think I would make a good private investigator.

We're passing people!
Worked 'til Noon Saturday. Kim and I left for the game a little before 2:00. The game was bad. Very bad. It was BB... beyond bad. I've probably been to 40 or 50 games or more over the years, and this would probably be in the bottom two or three (see '97 LSU, '99 La. Tech). The only two highlights were as we were walking to and from the stadium, we were actually passing people, which hasn't been possible before now because of my ankle. The other highlight was that David Palmer brought out the game ball. Before he even got out of the tunnel, the entire stadium was yelling, "Deuce!"

Older, wiser? Not me
Yesterday, my sister cooked lunch for Mom's birthday. We had kraut & wienees. Not my favorite, but Mom likes it, so it's her day. After church last night, Jess and I went to eat at Donato's. Wow, that was actually really good. It's been awhile since I've actually eaten inside at a pizza place. And speaking of Halloween decorations... while we're on the topic. Those giant pumpkins you people are putting in your yards are freakin' me out. I can only imagine they must be frightening to at least some of the kids.

That's a funny thing to say
"Look at that house."
"Ooo, Halloween lights... along with some oddly out of place white lights in the shape of a volleyball net."

"Nooo. He's just finicky. (short pause) And uses an abnormal amount of hair products."

"Nobody on the road. Nobody on the beach. I feel it in the air. The summer's out of reach. Empty lake, empty strees, the sun goes down alone. I'm driving by your house. No, no, you're not home..."

Friday, October 01, 2004

This makes me so happy...

Check out that playbook. 8 plays to pick from...

As in, Freeman McNeil... lol Posted by Hello

Halftime entertainment... woohoo! Posted by Hello

The Meat Slicer
I stopped by a little country store to get some sliced bologna and cheese. They had a slicer in the back, so while sitting there waiting for her to slice it, The Slicer ep of Seinfeld came to mind, of course:

Kramer: I think we are looking at half a millimeter.
Elaine: Can it cut that thin?
Kramer: Oh, I've cut slices so thin, I couldn't even see them.
Elaine: How did you know you cut it?
Kramer (confused): Well, I guess I just assumed.
Elaine: Can I borrow that thing for a while?
Kramer: Oh no, I don't think so.
Elaine: Why not?
Kramer: Well, you're not checked out on it.
Elaine: What's there to know?
Kramer: Well, where does the meat go?
Elaine: Right there.
Kramer: Where do you turn it on?
Elaine: Um, right there.
Kramer: But where, does the meat go?
Well, since my ankle has been feeling a lot better, I've been on the go a lot this week. Got a lot of stored up energy. Ran by and washed and vacuumed out my truck on the way home from work. Got my oil changed. I wanna run, but I can't. I wanna run. I wanna climb. Like a ringtail lemur... or something.

"Look at that ampersand."
"What? That's a fine ampersand."
"No. It's not a good ampersand. It's unpresentable."

"Did you think I would curse you, or say things to hurt you, cos you just don't love me no more?"

Who's My Daddy!!!

One of my favorite sayings/early childhood lessons was this:
If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.

Who's my daddy?!
My sister checked my little cousin out of school yesterday and spent the afternoon with her. She brought her by my place last night. As a lot of you know, I love that little girl to death. She has just started school this year. Anyway, she noticed my nerf basketball goal in the living room and started shooting at it. Whenever she would make it, she would yell, "Who my daddy!!!" lol Now, those of you who have met her can just imagine how funny that was. How cute! Sis and I were rollin'.

Other stuff
Watched a few minutes of the debate. Kerry introduced the term "proliferation." lol Now, that's just not fair. It was like Bush was looking for an easier to pronounce synonym, but it just wasn't happening. K came into town and we ate at the steak house. (No, she wasn't there.) Jessica got some flowers for Mom for her birthday. I thought that was really sweet.

Friday Flashback
Ah, now I know why you are all huddled around here. You're waiting for the Friday Flashback. Well, for this week's flashback, I thought I'd go way back to the old AOL blog for this really sad story:

When I was in 4th grade, I had these two friends, Tina and Marge. Well we had a spelling bee, and I was in it, cause I was smart like that. It got down to like the final three people, and I misspelled a word. Well I was disappointed, but you know, it was ok, cause I'd made it pretty far, and I didn't want to go to like the county spelling bee anyway, cause that was nerdy and stuff. But I looked at the back of the room and Tina and Marge were all upset and stuff. So you know what I did? I walked back there to where they were and said, "Don't cry for me, Marge and Tina."

And that's today's Friday Flashback. If you were actually a regular reader of my blog at that time, well, I'm sorry. Have a great weekend! I will be gone to the Bama game tomorrow, then probably doing stuff for Mom's birthday on Sunday.

Random fun:
"What did you do with that cake?"
"Oh, um, we're done with it."

"I just live vicariously thru you... which is beyond sad."

"Well, I got an invitation for a shower in the mail, but it was one of those generic ones, so I didn't figure they knew if it was a boy or a girl."
(walks away)
"...or he just bought the cheapest ones he could find."

"These are the days that make up the lifetimes. These are the clothes that I wear. And this is the only thing I wanted, more than anything..."