Someone (Zeus, to be specific) left a comment on my 24 recap the other day asking a question that I will now attempt to answer.
The question was: "I'm curious, but I just never understood how someone would make a television series based on twenty-four hours. How exciting could each hour be?"
The answer, if you're Jack Bauer, is: exciting beyond your wildest imagination. However, if you're Bone, the answer is... well, I'll let you judge for yourself.
The following takes place in my life between the hours of 3 PM Thursday and 3 PM Friday.
3:01 PM: Leave work. Drive to bank. Check to see if I'm being followed. All clear.
3:05 PM: Arrive at bank. Cute teller is working.
3:07 PM: She seems to be taking too long. What's going on? I look inside. She appears to be eyeing me suspiciously. In my rear-view mirror, I see a van approaching from behind.
(Cut to commercial...)
3:09 PM: And we're back! Turns out she was just helping another customer. I drive away, failing to get her digits, or her MySpace address.
3:15 PM: Go to get haircut. Make sure to sit with my legs together and my arms inside the armrests, thus ensuring there are no awkward moments.
3:37 PM: Arrive home to find a cat lingering outside the door. Check the cat for a tracking device. It's clean.
3:38 PM: Look in the fridge and find some leftover chicken to feed the cat.
3:39 PM: Cat won't eat chicken at first. So I go upstairs to get my camera to snap some pics of 'Nan.
3:41 PM: When I get back outside, the chicken is completely gone. Good kitty.
3:55 PM: Photo shoot done. I upload pic to my blog. Then decide to go running.
4:05 PM: Arrive at park. Nan and I run 2 miles. The only song I can remember her playing is "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough."
4:40 PM: Back home, I hop in the shower. While singing "I don't want no scrubs..." the thought crosses my mind that this is an apartment. And I wonder if my neighbors can hear me singing.
4:40:12 PM: I decide to stop singing until I check with CTU. And by check with CTU, I mean, make a further determination as to whether or not my neighbors can hear me.
5:22 PM: While going thru old bank envelopes I had cleaned out of my car earlier, I happen upon something unexpected. My eyes get huge...
(Cut to commercial.)
5:23 PM: And we're back! (Had to add some drama.) I found $50, which has apparently been in my console since September. Well, my day is getting more exciting all the time.
5:24 PM: I ponder what to do with this "found" money. Decide to put it all on Captain Nemo in the third at the track.
5:25 PM: I remember we don't have a track.
(WARNING: Things are about to become slightly less exciting...)
6:31 PM: Drive to my sister's. She is having computer problems. (OK, here's where Jack has one small advantage over me. One call to Chloe and his computer problems are solved. I did know a girl named Chloe one time, but she changed her number... unrelated to me.)
9:32 PM: Get home in time to see the last half of Nashville Star. Wow, that last girl (Meg Allison) sucks!
10:57 PM: I laugh out loud at #6 on Letterman's Top Ten Messages Left On Fidel Castro's Answering Machine: "Mel Gibson here. I think we both know who's responsible for this."
12:52 AM: Do my "nightly" exercises... What? Sit-ups, crunches, and push-ups!
1:08 AM: Go to bed.
7:45 AM: Alarm goes off.
7:45:01 AM: Hit snooze.
7:54 AM: Alarm goes off.
7:54:01 AM: Hit snooze.
8:03 AM: Alarm goes off.
8:03:01 AM: Hit snooze.
8:12 AM: Alarm goes off.
8:12:01 AM: Hit snooze. (Hmm, I wonder if Jack ever hits snooze. Come to think of it, I wonder if Jack ever sleeps.)
8:21:00 AM: Alarm goes off.
8:21:01 AM: Wake up.
8:21:02 AM: Wish I could go back to sleep for about four more hours.
8:48 AM: Get to work. (I'm a guy.)
9:14 AM: Dad calls and asks if I want to meet him for lunch.
11:57 AM: Have lunch with Dad.
2:29 PM: Leave work early. Get home in time to see General Hospital go off just as someone is about to shoot Sonny Corinthos.
And there you have it. A day in the life. I think we can all agree I should have my own TV show. Sure, maybe my life's not quite as exciting as Jack Bauer's. But I think there's an audience for it. I would format it something like The Amanda Show. Because let's face it, there's been a huge void on TV since it went off the air.
"For another nine minutes, let the world stop. Steal a few moments from this old clock..."