My widely publicized month-long unintentional exercise hiatus ended last afternoon. I decided to hit the track. (That's runner-lingo for "go running.") I carried Nan along. It was her first time to go running with me. And she performed very well.
I was a bit surprised to see quite a few fellow exercisers out braving the bitter 45-degree afternoon. Then it hit me.
These were the New Year's Resolutionists. Perhaps you've seen them as well. You can find them at tracks and parks and gyms all across this great nation. And suddenly, I was inspired...
(Cue the pseudo-serious beer commercial voice over guy)
"Today we salute you, Mister New Year's Resolution Gym Guy."
(80's rock singer: "Mister New Year's Resolution Gym Guyyyyyy..."
"The first week of January finds you hanging out at your local gym. And proudly donning your form-fitting spandex, we do mean, hanging out."
(singing: "Fits so tiiiight...")
"Nevermind that up until last week, you thought elliptical was only a geometric term."
(singing: "What's your sine...")
"Seeing you sweating profusely the first two weeks of each year reminds us why we come to the gym all year long."
(singing: "He motivates us alllll...")
"So crack open a cold one, O Master of Self-Motivation. After point-seven-five miles on the incline treadmill, you've more than earned it."
(singing: "Mister New Year's Resoultion Gym Guy...")
"Let's get physical, physical. I wanna get physical. Let me hear your body talk, your body talk..."