The Thin Red Hetero Line

Finally added a "Selected Posts" section to the sidebar. Will probably add some different ones to it from time to time. Also, be sure to check out T's post today. A good week for the Crimson Tide.

Someone described me the other day as "the sensitive, straight male, who knows everything there is to know about Seinfeld and football, and eats at the Cracker Barrel, and is forever trying to figure out what girls like, and what girls might like about him."

Considering this person only knows me thru my blog (and several emails), I thought it quite perceptive. A very accurate brief description of Bone. Hope she doesn't mind that I include it here. It also fits in well with today's post.

As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I am really not good at shopping. And when I say shopping, I mean purchasing clothes. I don't go to just look. I go with the intent of buying. And normally don't leave until I have bought at least one thing. Maybe that's part of the problem. Really though, it's not that I mind going. I don't. I'm just not good at it.

As a generic example, I could pick out three shirts, which really seem great to me in the store. Buy them. And by the time I get home, I only like one of them. And even that one is only OK. I have closets full of clothes I don't really care for. Perhaps part of the problem is that I never try anything on, unless a girl is with me and encourages makes me. If it's my size, I just assume it will fit. And I rarely take anything back. Until recently, I never realized why when I got home, certain clothes just didn't seem to look right. Now I'm learning. Some shirts are fitted. Some are not. Some hang on me like a tunic. There are different collars. Who knew!

So I have pretty much decided that from now on, I am not going shopping unless I have a girl with me. If she likes it, and I like it, and it fits me well when I try it on, I'll buy it. Simple, three-step shopping. And of course, I reserve my right to invoke my "looks a little too gay" veto powers at anytime.

Changing gears, we went to rent a movie over the weekend. One of my suggestions was Must Love Dogs, because I usually like Cusack's movies. And I tend to like romantic comedies. There. I said it. It's out in the open for all the world to see. Anyway, we ended up renting The Longest Yard. So this presents a bit of a dilemma for me if I want to see the other movie.

As a guy, it's difficult to go see or rent certain types of movies without a girl. Romantic comedies being one. I mean, if it's at the theater, I can't really call up one of the guys and ask him to go with me. And hopefully you don't even have to ask why that is. And going alone to those types of movies would be similar to renting them by myself. Although I have done it before, with Serendipity. It would just be more than a bit odd to walk up to the counter in the movie store with Must Love Dogs, You've Got Mail, and Dying Young. Then again, at least if I rent it, the clerk might think I am taking it home to my girl.

So I guess this is what it has come to. Renting movies under unspoken false pretenses. Maybe TBS will have a John Cusack marathon soon. And there's always Lifetime. I mean, pro football.

"Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?"