Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Four days with no Bone

Well, I'm back. I think this is probably the longest blog hiatus I've taken since I began blogging back in May 2003. Working on a new blog slogan: "Here at IYROOBTY, I don't write a lot of the blogs you read. I make a lot of the blogs you read seem more interesting." Hmm. Think I'll file that one in the "sometimes things seem a whole lot funnier at midnight than they do in the middle of the day and should not be posted" category.

Hope you all had a fun and safe New Year's weekend. And while I didn't get married, and our celebration didn't feature a toilet breaking completely in two, I did have a great New Year's nonetheless.

I had a guest in town this weekend. She will from hereafter be referred to as BE. We exchanged gifts on Friday evening. Despite my anxiety, I was told that I did a good job on the gifts that I had purchased: Two books, a perfume/lotion set, and a sweater. Was really only concerned about the sweater, but she said she liked it. I was very pleased with the gifts I received. Two shirts, a pair of jeans, and a sweater. I really liked everything. This was my first reminder of the weekend that I really need a woman. I am really not good at shopping for myself. Will probably do a post about that later.

BE, Kyle, and I went to Nashville for New Year's Eve, where we met up with Cassie. The four of us walked around the Opryland Hotel. Then went downtown. Had dinner at Big River Grille. Then ended up at Buffalo Billiards, where we rang in 2006. I've never been big on New Year's, but as New Year's Eves go, this was one of the better ones. Watched football most of the day Sunday. Watched Bama beat Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl Monday morning, then went shopping. Oh yeah, I just remembered. I set off my car alarm when we got home Sunday morning at nearly 4 AM, because I still haven't figured out all the nuances of the little remote key thingy. Took me a few seconds to turn if off, too, because I... still haven't figured out all the nuances... I'm sure the neighbors love me.

I did have a bathroom etiquette hiccup at Buffalo Billiards. There was a 3 urinal set up. Urinals 1 and 3 were taken and all the stalls were full. Well, I should have just walked out, or stalled over by the sink. Instead, I slid into the middle urinal. Fortunately, just as I unzipped and before it started to flow, the urinator at #3 left his post. So I sveltely slid down to urinal #3. Seconds later, someone set up shop at #2 anyway, so it was all for naught. Still, I must apologize to the urinator at #1. If you are reading this, I am the guy who violated your buffer zone Saturday night around 11:35 PM in the Buffalo Billiards men's room. I was wearing jeans, a light blue shirt, and a black pullover sweater.

I will close by sharing some things I learned this weekend. Actually several of these could be categorized under the heading of "I really need a woman":
- There is a "hidden" carousel cabinet thingy in my kitchen. I've lived in this place four months, never had a clue it was there. She finds it first thing. Just like it's common knowledge that it was there.
- All my cabinet shelves are adjustable. Again, who knew!
- Having a meal cooked for you is a good thing. A very good thing. (Wonder if she knows how this behavior endeared her to me.)
- Girls really notice what shoes you're wearing. As evidence, I came to work today in a new shirt and new shoes. Our secretary walks in, says nothing at all about my shirt, but almost immediately asks, "Did you get some new shoes?"
- I really need a girl with me in order to validate purchasing a pink shirt, which I did on Monday. I need her approval.
- Looking "pimp" is apparently a good thing. Again, who knew!
- After Christmas is the time to shop. I'm sure most of you already knew this.

I also worked "abscond" into a conversation over the weekend. Was entirely too excited about that. Oh, and my aunt called one night while we were driving around. She said, "I just saw an Xbox 360 at Wal-Mart. They only have one. Do you want me to put it on layaway for you?" What the freak? I have never indicated an interest in this. It completely came out of the blue. I think my game console buying days are long over. At least until I have a child. So I said nicely, "No, I don't think I'm gonna buy one of those." I'm single, thin, neat, early thirties. I don't think more video games is the answer. Seriously.

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. Then again, any weekend when you hear "Ice Ice Baby" more than once can't be too bad. I can't wait to get home and play my Atari Flashback ;-)

Word to ya mother.

"Take heed, cos I'm a lyrical poet. Miami's on the scene, just in case you didn't know it..."

18 comments:

  1. The pimp absconded with the atari. Just thought that I would work that all in.

    The pimp look is great.

    Love, love your answer to your aunt. Think that should be your slogan

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  2. I often post things that seemed way funnier when I thought of them in the middle of the night, usually after a beer or two. I can relate.

    Glad you had such a good time in Nashville! I spent one night once at Orpyland and actually got lost trying to find my room. That place is enormous.

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  3. Sounds like you had a blast. I need a guy I've decided if only just to get rid of mice, plunge toliets, and fix my truck whenever needed.

    "Rolling in my 5.0 got the rag top down so my hair can blow." Okay...I'm sorry but I have seen Vanilla Ice's hair during that time period...and trust me...it was not blowing anywhere.

    Glad to hear you had a wonderful New Years...I just wish I could remember mine.

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  4. Oh Holy Buddha.
    And I thought I went the only club that was STILL playing Vanilla Ice . . . but I still danced my ass off to it.

    Pink shirts ARE a good thing.
    Just not TOO pink.

    You do need a woman.
    Accepting applications yet??
    Oh . . and never use that slogan again. :)

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  5. Pia: That's good. Was thinking of saying something like I bet you thought I had absconded myself from blogging.

    Lizzie: It is huge. You can't really describe it to someone. They just have to see it for themselves. I've been there probably ten times and still get turned around. And by turned around, I mean, lost.

    Always think of things at night or in the car and think they're hilarious. But by the time I type them out in a blog entry... ugh.

    Audra: Yes, we kill rodents, insects, pests. Change light bulbs. Work on cars. I won't say repair, because... but we'll definitely work on them. Look us up on the web at men.com ;-)

    You're right, if by "blowing," he meant "moving at all," then no, it wasn't.

    Meghan: We heard it on the radio in the car and then the DJ at Buffalo Billiards played it. People love it. They may make fun of it, but they still sing along to it, and secretely hope it gets played again.

    It's a light pink.

    I'll try and think of a new slogan.

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  6. I just had to say....

    ROLL TIDE!

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  7. I second Sherry's motion - Rollll Tide Rolll!!!

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  8. Sherry and T: Roll Tide!!!! 10-2. Not bad.

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  9. I will confess to owning the Vanilla Ice CD. I bought it when I was 18 (or was it 19?) so I chalk it up to youthful ignorance.

    RE: pink shirts. Yes, as a male, you need a woman in your life to blame the pink shirt on, otherwise there's really no excuse for you having it. I don't believe that you're metrosexual enough to pull it off. :-)

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  10. HAHA! You crack me up! The very first thing I look at with a new guy is shoes. Faux leather = cheap date, can't order what you want off the menu. But, Allen Edmonds says style, order some Dom with that. :)

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  11. I've OBVIOUSLY been gone for far too long....

    Who's this new broad?

    Glad you had fun all weekend, though. And excited that you've learned so much about your kitchen.

    Pink on men is sexxxy. 'Specially with some new shoes. ;)



    I'm back - by the way.
    Miss me?

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  12. Xinh: Would probably not have bought the shirt had she not been there. And I wish I had the Vanilla Ice CD.

    Spanky: Yes, and apparently you're not alone.

    shoes = important

    Southie: Well, I'm not sure how much help I can be. But I hope you got that shoe thing.

    Blonde: Yes, of course I miss you when you don't comment... and... aren't around for awhile ;-)

    Well, I have the pink shirt and the new shoes. Isn't that a song?

    Pink shirt... new shoes... and I don't know where I am goin' to...

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  13. Wow, a broken toilet. I'm sure glad I wasn't at that party, somehow I would have been involved, I'm sure.

    Glad the New Years was fun, that Opryland Hotel is pretty cool!

    Glad your lady liked her presents, that's always a good thing. And yes, we women hold so many mysteries like about lazy susans, and cooking.

    Pink on men is very sexy! I'm actually impressed that you would even consider wearing pink!

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  14. You mean 'Bama was in town and I could have gone to see them?!? I could have been your proxy! BTW...HOOK 'EM HORNS!

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  15. IL: You might not have known Bama was in town, but you should have know Tech was!!! Im soo happy this morning. TEXAS LONGHORNS, YEAH BABY!

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  16. Carnealian: Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't invite you to my Festivus party :-)

    "Pink on men is very sexy! I'm actually impressed that you would even consider wearing pink!"

    Woohoo! Thanks ;-)

    Lass: Well, you would've had to stand the whole game if you wanted to be my proxy. And you would have been hoarse the next day.

    Crys: I was thinking about you when they won. My, you're up early. Considering :-)

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  17. Bone-

    I told you that she would love the gifts!

    -OCG

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