Four days with no Bone

Well, I'm back. I think this is probably the longest blog hiatus I've taken since I began blogging back in May 2003. Working on a new blog slogan: "Here at IYROOBTY, I don't write a lot of the blogs you read. I make a lot of the blogs you read seem more interesting." Hmm. Think I'll file that one in the "sometimes things seem a whole lot funnier at midnight than they do in the middle of the day and should not be posted" category.

Hope you all had a fun and safe New Year's weekend. And while I didn't get married, and our celebration didn't feature a toilet breaking completely in two, I did have a great New Year's nonetheless.

I had a guest in town this weekend. She will from hereafter be referred to as BE. We exchanged gifts on Friday evening. Despite my anxiety, I was told that I did a good job on the gifts that I had purchased: Two books, a perfume/lotion set, and a sweater. Was really only concerned about the sweater, but she said she liked it. I was very pleased with the gifts I received. Two shirts, a pair of jeans, and a sweater. I really liked everything. This was my first reminder of the weekend that I really need a woman. I am really not good at shopping for myself. Will probably do a post about that later.

BE, Kyle, and I went to Nashville for New Year's Eve, where we met up with Cassie. The four of us walked around the Opryland Hotel. Then went downtown. Had dinner at Big River Grille. Then ended up at Buffalo Billiards, where we rang in 2006. I've never been big on New Year's, but as New Year's Eves go, this was one of the better ones. Watched football most of the day Sunday. Watched Bama beat Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl Monday morning, then went shopping. Oh yeah, I just remembered. I set off my car alarm when we got home Sunday morning at nearly 4 AM, because I still haven't figured out all the nuances of the little remote key thingy. Took me a few seconds to turn if off, too, because I... still haven't figured out all the nuances... I'm sure the neighbors love me.

I did have a bathroom etiquette hiccup at Buffalo Billiards. There was a 3 urinal set up. Urinals 1 and 3 were taken and all the stalls were full. Well, I should have just walked out, or stalled over by the sink. Instead, I slid into the middle urinal. Fortunately, just as I unzipped and before it started to flow, the urinator at #3 left his post. So I sveltely slid down to urinal #3. Seconds later, someone set up shop at #2 anyway, so it was all for naught. Still, I must apologize to the urinator at #1. If you are reading this, I am the guy who violated your buffer zone Saturday night around 11:35 PM in the Buffalo Billiards men's room. I was wearing jeans, a light blue shirt, and a black pullover sweater.

I will close by sharing some things I learned this weekend. Actually several of these could be categorized under the heading of "I really need a woman":
- There is a "hidden" carousel cabinet thingy in my kitchen. I've lived in this place four months, never had a clue it was there. She finds it first thing. Just like it's common knowledge that it was there.
- All my cabinet shelves are adjustable. Again, who knew!
- Having a meal cooked for you is a good thing. A very good thing. (Wonder if she knows how this behavior endeared her to me.)
- Girls really notice what shoes you're wearing. As evidence, I came to work today in a new shirt and new shoes. Our secretary walks in, says nothing at all about my shirt, but almost immediately asks, "Did you get some new shoes?"
- I really need a girl with me in order to validate purchasing a pink shirt, which I did on Monday. I need her approval.
- Looking "pimp" is apparently a good thing. Again, who knew!
- After Christmas is the time to shop. I'm sure most of you already knew this.

I also worked "abscond" into a conversation over the weekend. Was entirely too excited about that. Oh, and my aunt called one night while we were driving around. She said, "I just saw an Xbox 360 at Wal-Mart. They only have one. Do you want me to put it on layaway for you?" What the freak? I have never indicated an interest in this. It completely came out of the blue. I think my game console buying days are long over. At least until I have a child. So I said nicely, "No, I don't think I'm gonna buy one of those." I'm single, thin, neat, early thirties. I don't think more video games is the answer. Seriously.

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. Then again, any weekend when you hear "Ice Ice Baby" more than once can't be too bad. I can't wait to get home and play my Atari Flashback ;-)

Word to ya mother.

"Take heed, cos I'm a lyrical poet. Miami's on the scene, just in case you didn't know it..."