Well, the new computer came in yesterday. (Dude, I got a Dell.) I had an attempted delivery sticker on the door when I got home from work, so I got on the phone to UPS. Eventually, I got the driver's cell phone number, and he actually came back by around 6:30 and delivered it. Can't beat that. What can brown do for you? Got everything up and running last night. So, needless to say, I will not be leaving the house for awhile, except to go to work. It's weird to have a computer that doesn't rattle and make clicking noises. Weird, I say.
Lesson Learned #1367: Don't put wax paper in the oven
I learned this one over the weekend. Funny how you can live 32 years and never come across that morsel of knowledge. Eh, it's always good to smoke up the apartment every so often. Sort of like a natural fumigation, I guess. Or at least like an impromptu fire drill. Or not a drill at all.
Adventures in Schweatyville
So I have a bad habit of eating a mid-morning snack, everyday, usually consisting of something sweet and a soft drink. So I'm eating some M&M's and drinking a Coke yesterday, when Big Sweaty says to me, "What are you doing, man? Why do you do that? You're killing yourself." Ooooooh Nooooo! I know he just di-unt! Let's step back (get a wide mirror) and assess the situation here. Which one of us has the body of a taut, pre-teen Swedish boy? And which one us looks like he belongs in a production of Weebles On Ice? Now, that's better.
Nothing more to blog today. So I'll share some dialogue from "The Seven" episode of Seinfeld, which was on last night:
Kramer: I can't eat that. You can't eat a sandwich without dijon.
Jerry: Yeah, you're right. I really should keep more of your favorites on hand.
Kramer: I'm getting a vibe here. Are you unhappy with our arrangement?
Jerry: What arrangement?
Kramer: Well, I was under the impression that I could take anything I wanted from your fridge, and you could take whatever you want from mine.
Jerry: Yeah, well let me know when you get something in there and I will.
Jerry: Is this your half a can of soda in the fridge?
Kramer: Nope, that's yours. My half is gone.
Kramer: Yeah, I put my half a can here on the tab. Why, what's your beef?
Jerry: You cannot buy half a can of soda.
Kramer: Well, why not?
Jerry: Well, I don't wanna get into the whole physics of carbonation here, but you know the sound a can makes when you open it? That is the sound of you buying a whole can. And the same goes for this, OK? When you pierce the skin of a piece of fruit, you've bought the whole fruit. Not a third of an apple, not a half of a banana. You bite it, you bought it.
Kramer: Hey, Jerry, if you're gonna be snacking on these, you can't expect me to pay for the whole box.
Jerry: All right, Hobo Joe. I didn't wanna put a damper on your little smorgasbord here, but it's the end of the week, so I added up your tab.
Jerry: I know. Pretty steep.
Kramer: Well, I don't have this kind of cash.
Jerry: Few do.
"She wrecked the car and she was sad, and so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck..."