Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Becky Gelke (and other Sein stuff)
A Pseudo-Interview With Jerry

That's kinda cute.

Cab Used On Seinfeld In Celebrity Auction

In other news, The Good Samaritan was on the other night. The more I watch some of those early season eps, the more I like them.

G: "I love when they touch your arm. I can't get enough of that. Why is that?"
J: "Let's not even analyze it."

K: "Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know those people, you know, they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia."
J: "Australia?"
K: "Yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts."
J: "But not anymore."
K: "No." ROFL

And in regards to Becky Gelke, about three or four years ago, we were going to hang out in Nashville and met up with a friend of Shane's, named Becky. She was quite attractive, however, we never knew or couldn't remember her last name, so to this day, whenever the subject comes up, we still refer to her as Becky Gelke :-)

"There is no place safe and no safe place to put my head. And you can feel the world shake from the words that are said..."
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Long Drives
Today's bloglet brought to you by Titleist...

Wow, Maria Sharapova is on again this afternoon. This must be my lucky day. (It's my first one.) And now they're interviewing her in the studio. Wow. She's in the semifinals. Way to go, baby ;-)

In the past week, I've been on a couple of road trips. There is something about long drives, the open road, that I love. There is a feeling of freedom, maybe a short escape from reality, when you're on the road, far from home. And almost without fail on a long trip, some good and interesting conversation will develop, much like the conversation we had on the way back from NYC to Richmond last summer. (Which must forever remain secret, in the event that any of the six of us should ever decide to run for political office.)

Last Tuesday, we had a nice drive back from the beach, taking a two-lane road for a little over three hours until we got into Montgomery and got on the interstate. It is really neat to pass thru small towns and realize that life is going on all over this world. Many times, they are towns that you will never pass thru again. And there are thousands of towns just like those in many ways, yet all a little bit different. We passed thru one town that had a huge billboard and said "Welcome to ________, home of Robert Horry." And there was a big sign with a picture of him. lol Robert Horry played basketball at the University of Alabama, and later in the NBA for the Houston Rockets, LA Lakers, and San Antonio Spurs.

Then Saturday, we were on I-40 much of the day. We passed beneath this high arching bridge that looked like something you'd run into on the game Halo. The conversation between the three longtime friends eventually turned to ex-girlfriends. (I think Shane started that.)

Conversation is always good on long trips, though. There's really not a lot to do, so you basically have to talk. Sometimes the drive itself is almost as enjoyable as the destination to me. There is something unique about stopping at little convenience stores along the way. Those are pure life moments to me. I enjoy going on a long trip with a girl. I think it's a bonding experience. Like I said, you basically have to talk. And it's just the two of you, usually far from home, often in strange territory. I just really enjoy road trips. So the next time you're on the road and can't find a Wi-Fi hot spot to check my blog, enjoy some real in-person conversation for a change.

"And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes. I'm markin' it down to learnin'. I am..."
Mister Rogers and Bachelorhood in the 21st Century
OK, you guys are going to have to get lives. I can't keep logging on here everyday, entertaining you people with sundry ramblings and constant overanalyzation of every miniscule detail of my day-to-day life.... or, maybe I can. Yeah, I think I can. I don't see why not. I've got time ;-)

Nothing big going on lately (or ever). Just days passing as I continue to live in this bachelor's paradise. Had KFC for dinner Sunday night. Wow, that is some... food right there. I think. I love their lemon parfaits for dessert though. Monday was slow at work. It was really nice to be able to relax for part of the day. Bunny called me at work. All is well in VA. I played many games of hearts to try and pass the time yesterday. I was tempted to take a couple of hours of sick time and leave early, but I didn't. Got home and watched Mister Rogers and Zoom on PBS. There is something very soothing about Mister Rogers, Mister McFeeley, Lady Aberlin, Handyman Negri. Not that I watch it very often. Then I watched a bit of Maria Sharapova at Wimbledon. (Click on it. Thank me later.) I think she has become my favorite player now, along with Jennifer, since Anna and Hingis aren't really playing anymore.

I dozed off on the couch for a bit, then got up and went for a run, since it finally stopped raining late yesterday. It seriously has rained I think every single day for about two weeks here, I believe. After that, Kim and I went to Los Charros for dinner. It was good. Very filling. Was online later and Kristina from Applebees IM'd me, which is the first time she'd ever done that. I told her where I'd eaten and she was like, "I know the owner there." Not surprisingly. That was a little odd. You know, you have to keep your worlds separate. I have relationship Bone, independent Bone, and internet Bone. Independent Bone is the one who goes to Applebees. If independent Bone infiltrates the internet world, then Bone, as you know him, ceases to exist. A Bone divided against itself cannot stand. The night ended on a good note, as Kirsten Dunst was on Letterman.

"I can't light, no more of your darkness. All my pictures, seem to fade to black and white. I'm growing tired, and time stands still before me. Frozen here, on the ladder of my life..."
Sunday, June 27, 2004
800 miles in 18 hours
Well, yesterday was a long day, to say the least. Left out around 9:50 for K's. Then we headed up to Nashville. On the way up, we were listening to Kim Komando . This lady calls in and is like, "I just got a new computer and I keep hearing this guhlunk over and over when I'm using it." Turns out it was her buddy listand the sound it makes when people signed off. lol Wow, it's amazing how little some people know about computers. Kim was also talking about watching The Wiggles, and how Jeff has narcolepsy or something. WOOOO!! I love that show.

Had lunch at Famous Dave's. (Nope, still not tired of it.) They have some great lunch specials. Shot pool for about an hour at Buffalo Billiards. While we were there, there was a Harley Davidson rally that rode by. Lasted about 15 minutes. Naturally, they were trying to be as loud as possible, and we were at one of the front tables by the street, with the big front windows open. It was nice. That led to this question, "Do you ever notice how people with Harleys never have a job?" They're like, "Oh, a rally in Seattle next Thursday? I'm there."

Anyway, after that we headed to Shane's to pick him up for the trip to Memphis. Were planning to leave his house around 3:00. Oddly (or completely as expected), he wasn't ready. So we didn't get gone until around 4:30. Got to the arena around 8:15 or so, and by the time we got inside, it was halftime. The arena was nice, but kinda small. It was actually in South Haven, MS, just south of Memphis. The crowd was sparse. The Vipers lost 54-48, I think, but it was a close game. I got stationed on the end of the arena where the Explorer cheerleaders were. You can imagine how distracting that was as I was trying to watch the game. But I decided to be a trooper and tough it out. You know, take one for the team.

After the game, Shane and I were walking to meet up with Kyle and he was standing there talking to some brunette chick in a football jersey who had her back to us. I was like, what the crap? Leave this guy alone for five minutes and he's talking to some chick, or... whatever. Anyway, we got up to them and guess who it was? It was Kelly, who used to work at Applebees. Of course, the entire time we were talking to her I was thinking she looked familiar, but it didn't hit me who she was until we had separated. lol She was there with the booster club and was trying to get us to come to Tunica, where they were spending the night. But it was too late. It was 9:30 and we were already looking at not getting home until 3:30 or 4:00. Kyle also pointed out that I don't even really gamble, so it seemed pointless. Shane was really wanting to go though. We gave K a hard time about it just for fun, leading to some interesting analogies.

"But we're so close. It's like going to Foley, and not going on down to the beach."
"It's like going to East Rutherford, and then not going over into New York City."
"It's like being in a porno and not having sex. That's what it's like."

I talked K into going by McD's, so I could get me one of those cool adult happy meals with a free pedometer. When we got to the window, he asked the chick if they had any pedometers and she said they had run out. So he said thanks and we went to Arby's. What is this, the great pedometer shortage of 2004? Good grief. I guess I'll have to go to Wal-Mart and contribute some more money to the Sam Walton estate. Anyway, we got back to Nashville around 2:15, and I got home about 4:15. Nice. I took about a two-hour nap this afternoon after church to try and catch up a bit.

One other funny:
"Why don't you just use a drawing program and draw it?"
"Well all I really have is Paint.... 1.0.... beta."

"I tell you one thing. If you would leave, it'd be a crying shame. In every breath and every word, I hear your name, calling me out..."
Friday, June 25, 2004
Six Months To Live
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. As I posted a few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine was given a time period of basically six months to two years with cancer. So, WHAT IF I had six months? How do you take that kind of news? What would I do? What would you do? I know some people talk about taking some great trip or something, but I think I would be more concerned with the so-called little things, spending time with family, with friends, with my dog, making sure my life is right with God.

What about a day? What if you knew that tomorrow was the day? Or a week? Or a month? Or a year? Or even ten years? Truth is, everyone of us only has a limited amount of time here anyway. Life is very short, no matter how long it lasts. So often I live as if I am going to be alive forever, like I have a countless number of days. Maybe if I changed my attitude, I would cherish each day and value time as the very precious thing it is. But too often, I waste it, like there is a big room somewhere with an endless supply that will never run out. How foolish that is. So often I put off more important things, just assuming that I will have time to take care of them and set everything right at some point in the future.

If I lived like I only had six months to live, I have no doubt that I would be a better person. I am sure that I would be easier to get along with, not quick to argue, and a lot quicker to just let little petty things go. I would be more forgiving, a better listener, a better friend. What's really important would be all that really mattered, and it would be reflected in how I lived. I would not pass up an opportunity to spend time with a friend because I was too busy. What I did would not be nearly as important as who I did it with. I would be more giving, less selfish. I would spend a lot more time with my parents. I would let go of any bitterness, any grudge. I would cherish each day, each sunrise, each hour, each precious minute, each sweet breath. But then I think, shouldn't I be living like that anyway? Wouldn't I be a lot better off? Wouldn't we all?

"He said, someday I hope you get the chance, to live like you were dying. Like tomorrow was a gift, and you've got eternity to think about what you do with it. What did you do with it? What did I do with it? What will I do with it?"
Killin' Time
Starsky & Hutch Pinball

OK, so it's not the most fun thing in the world. It's a little lame. Definitely no Space Cadet or Miniputt 2, but you can still kill a few minutes at work on a Friday :-)

"I go back to the loss of a real good friend, and the sixteen summers I shared with him. Now 'Only The Good Die Young' stops me in my tracks. Cos everytime I hear that song, I go back..."
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Vital Signs
Pulse: 60
Blood Pressure: 130/84
Body Temp: 97.5
Iron: OK
Blood Type: A-negative

I gave blood today. Those are some of the things that the girl told me. Are those numbers pretty normal? Seems like that pulse rate is a little low, and I'm no Frankenstein, but I think the average body temperature is 98.6. Or maybe that is the temperature at which water boils. "Is that Fahrenheit, Celsius, or Kelvin?" I always enjoy the long list of questions they ask, but I think my favorite is, "Do you or any of your relatives have mad cow disease?" I know, it wouldn't be funny if you really had it, but it just seems sort of random there. Along with, "Have you ever had sex with a man?"

Anyway, I had gone by the bank and then to Wal-Mart on the way home from work, and the LifeSouth mobile unit was in the parking lot. So I decided to give. I didn't realize until they pulled up my record that it had been nine or ten months since I'd given. (Wow, I just had a time flies moment right there, when I remember things that were going on the last time I gave.) Plus, the last report any of our contacts had, K's ex-girlfriend Liz was working at LS. So, I had to go see for his sake. Turns out she wasn't working. At least, I don't think it was her. Of course, I haven't seen her in three years. There was a thin, single, rather attractive brunette girl in there. Hmmm. Oh well, it's no big deal. He is sooo over her.

Hmm, I wonder if giving blood when you've had a combined nine hours of sleep the past two nights can be dangerous. Naaaah! Reminds me of the Cheers episode when Woody gets a second job to pay for Kelly's engagement ring. And I think he's selling his blood or plasma or something for extra money. Well, that's all I have to report for now. Can't you just feel the excitement?

"And you are such a fool, to worry like you do. I know it's tough, when you can never get enough, of what you don't really need now. My, oh my. You've got to get yourself together. You got stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it..."
I've got good news and bad news
Which do you want first? What do you say when someone poses that question to you? I usually pick the bad news. I say, get it out of the way. Besides, I've found that normally when someone says that, the good news isn't really THAT good, and when I've chosen to hear it first, I'm usually left thinking, "THAT'S the good news?!" So maybe what we should really say is, "I've got some bad news, and some slightly better news. Which do you want to hear first?"

That's kinda like the joke where the doctor tells the patient, "I've got good news and bad news" and the guy is like, "Well what's the good news?" The doctor says, "The good news is you've got twenty-four hours to live." And the patient is like, "THAT'S the GOOD news? What is the bad news?" "The bad news is, I meant to tell you yesterday."

Anyway, what brought all this to mind is Jessica called me yesterday and said she had good news and bad news. She lost her job, or rather, her position was terminated. That was the bad news. Hopefully, she'll find something else soon. I would think that the medical field would be one of the more stable.

Gas was down to $1.78 at Shell today. Filled up with $25. Man, prices were a lot higher within about a 40 mile range of the beach. It was like $1.95 and up down there. I have spent $122 on gas thusfar in June.

The NBA draft is today. Hard to believe, but it was 20 years ago that the Chicago Bulls selected Michael Jordan out of the University of North Carolina with the #3 overall pick in the draft. Twenty years. Man, those were the days. I remember I would pretend to play the games outside on my goal or inside on my nerf goal. I'd keep like stats and everything. Keep time with a stopwatch, call fouls on myself, etc. etc. etc. It was really cool, or abnormal, whichever. MJ always wore his blue UNC shorts underneath his Bulls shorts during games. Much like I still wear the tights from my first ballet recital underneath my jeans. Oh...wait.

Since MJ retired, I really don't root for any one team anymore. Sure, I rooted for the Wizards when he came back for a couple of seasons. But now, I just wait for the playoffs and pick one team in the Finals that I like for whatever reason and root for them, and of course, whoever is playing the Lakers.

In "if I mention Hosny Mubarak in my blog, the hits will come rolling in" news:
I got a hit from a search for Hosny Mubarak today. Wooooooo!! That's one. I can't understand why I haven't been getting more activity from that. It's all that Iraqi turmoil. What we need to do is uncover some Tutankhamen memorabilia. That's what we need. I am #5 on Google's search list for Hosny (or H Mubizzle, as I like to call him).

Well, I really needed that vacation. I was getting burned out around here and a bit stressed overall. It's kinda cool when people call and they're like "glad you made it back safely" and "did you have a good trip" and stuff like that. One of the neater parts of this job, I guess.

"If you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine. But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind. Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you. After all this time, you're still with me, it's true. Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside..."
Beach Pics! (a couple anyway)

This is our beach house. At least, it was ours for a few days. Posted by Hello


Me on the beach, in all my redness. Ouch. Posted by Hello

"Her mind is Tiffany-twisted. She's got the Mercedes bends. She's got a lot of pretty pretty boys, that she calls friends. How they dance in the courtyard, sweet summer sweat. Some dance to remember. Some dance to forget..."
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Back to life, back to reality
There is something about the beach that feels like coming home to me. The palm trees, the warm ocean breeze, the sound of the waves, my feet in the sand, always make me feel like that is the place I was always meant to be. Of course, that's how I felt when we went to New York last year, too, so who knows. Anyway, I never wanna leave when I'm there, but I guess it is good to get home.

Oh well, as I sit here with a rosy red glow and still finding sand in all sorts of places I didn't even know I had, let's briefly (as possible) recap:
Arrived around 6:30 Friday evening, I think. Turns out our beach house was in Sandestin, but Ft. Walton, Destin, and Sandestin are all next to each other from west to east. The house was nice. I'll try and post a pic later. It was two bedrooms, two-and-a-half bath, two story, with three TV's, and a deck outside both upstairs bedrooms. Went to eat at a place called Pompano Joe's Friday night. The wait was an hour and forty-five minutes. Not everyone was up for pulling my Lambert's stunt to get us in early, so we just waited. It was right on the beach. I had a shrimp po boy. It was decent, but not worth the wait.

Saturday was a pretty full day on the beach. The weather was nice most everyday except Tuesday, and except for an occasional afternoon shower. Drove over to Panama City Saturday night and ate at a place called Captain Anderson's. I had fried shrimp. It was good. Seafood near the coast makes seafood up here hardly worth eating. Everyone was exposed to the Human Jukebox on the drive there and back. Oldies, country, pop, 80's, whatever. I can sing along with most anything.

Some clouds brought us in early from the beach Sunday. I took about a two hour nap Sunday afternoon, then we went to Guglielmo's, an Italian place, for dinner. I ordered the Penne Pesto, with shrimp and scallops. When my plate came out, everyone was like, "Your food is green!" Yes, it was. But once you got past the color, it was actually pretty good, except for the fact that there were only like four shrimp in it. We experienced the great lockout when we got back from there (see earlier post).

Sunday night was pretty painful. I rubbed some blue sparkly aloe stuff (it matched my speedos bikini swimsuit... what?) all over my body to try and alleviate some of the burning. We went souvenir shopping several times on the trip. At this one place, I found some Life Is Good caps. I started to get one for Kyle and one for myself also, since that is our motto. Then I noticed they were $19.99 each. Life isn't THAT good ;-)

As I said in an earlier post, we went to Big Kahunas waterpark on Monday. That was a lot of fun. It was pretty exhausting, too, so we just got some pizza that night and took back to the house and ate. Went out to the pool for a bit. The little community/complex/resort where we stayed had a pool. Then most everyone was tired, so I went down to the beach by myself. I sat there for probably 45 minutes, just relaxing and thinking. The beach was deserted. I saw a group of five people walk by. Those were the only people who passed by the entire time I was out there. It was lightning in the distance and stuff.

Tuesday was cloudy and rainy most of the day, but that was actually good if you wanted to get out in the ocean. The waves were pretty big, so we rode those for a little while. When we got down there, Jess' parents said they had seen a shark way out in the ocean a few minutes earlier. I swam out where it had been spotted, but no luck. What? Ate a late lunch at Fudpucker's. I had a pound of fried crawfish. Mmmmmm. I just kept eating and eating and never could see my plate. That was a lot of food.

Jessica and I left out about 6:30 to come home. Her parents are staying until Saturday. We arrived back around 12:15 this morning. I drove the whole way back. Not much traffic on Tuesday night anywhere, which was nice. I'll try and get some pictures posted at some point, as well as any other stories I can remember. I need to get back to work, I suppose.

Edit: Oh yeah, a BIG thanks to Jessica and her family for inviting me along and letting me stay for free. That's hard to beat right there. Don't worry, I make it up to them in other ways.

"Friends, get scattered by the wind, tossed upon the waves, lost for years on end. Friends, slowly drift apart. They give away their hearts. Maybe call you now and then..."
Home, sweet zzzzz
Just blogging to let you all know I am home. And now I am going to bed. Will blog about the trip tomorrow, er, make that today. Ugh :-(

"Seasons may come and go. Sometimes it rains and snows. And there will be highs and lows, so only you will know..."
Monday, June 21, 2004
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful
Surprise! Now, there's nothing to brighten up your Tuesday (or Monday evening) like an unexpected day-early bloglet from Bone, right? Right?

Well, I'm sitting here on a laptop in the beach house. My skin is about the color of a Santa Claus suit (the red part). So tonight should be a fun night of sleep. I have only taken like two pictures so far. I think tomorrow is going to be the day to take pics, so I'll try to post a few when I get back. I am thoroughly enjoying myself down here though. Wish I didn't have to come home tomorrow.

Today, we went to a water park down here, called Big Kahuna. I think I may change my nickname to that. Big Kahuna. BK. Who knows? Anyway, it was a lot of fun! I loved it. Did a little souvenir shopping. I got my sister a shirt and my dad a cap. Still have to get Mom something. Yesterday, our time at the beach was cut short by an approaching thunderstorm, although I'm not sure it ever rained. Spent most of the day Saturday at the beach. The nights have been spent eating out at very nice (and expensive) restaurants. I'll blog more about all that later.

Just wanted to check in and let you all know that I haven't been carried out to sea by a riptide or seeing if I can swim faster than any sharks, although it has crossed my mind. I will share one funny story with you. Last night, we went out with Jess' parents, while her sister went out with one of her friends. So, we have two keys to the house. We left one in the house, by mistake, and the other in a flower pot on the porch. Well, we returned before her sister and the key was gone. We were locked out! Hmmm. Seems like I've been here before. I thought I was going to have to climb up to the second floor balcony to get in an unlocked door and save the day, much like on the lake house trip back in February, or whenever it was. But alas, her sister returned and had come by and gotten the key, so we were able to get in. I was kinda looking forward to climbing the house ;-)

Well, I am going to get off here. Hope all is going well with all of you. I haven't had time to check other blogs, but I'll catch up when I get back. I think we may do some more souvenir shopping tonight, and probably go out on the beach for a bit.

"Well now I've gotta say, that the wind and the waves, and the moon winkin' down at me, eases my mind, by leavin' behind, the heartaches that love often brings..."
Friday, June 18, 2004
Well, I'm off...
I will be leaving shortly for the beach. Got in the bed around 1:00 this morning, but I woke up pretty easily. Anxious anticipation, I suppose. I took Dad his Father's Day card and stuff last night. Unfortunately, I had planned this trip before I realized it was Father's Day weekend. I know. I'm the bad son. I think it will be the first Father's Day ever that I haven't seen my Dad.

Well, I doubt I will be blogging while I'm away. Try not to be too sad. It's only five days. I'm blogging today, and then I'll be back on Tuesday and probably blog then, too. So it'll really only be three days. And the weekend really doesn't count because most people aren't on the computer much on the weekend anyway. So it's only one day, really. It'll go by like that. (snaps fingers)

Have a great weekend!

"Day breaking on the boulevard. Feel the sun warming up your second hand heart. Light swimming right across your face, and you think maybe someday, yeah, maybe someday..."
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Not enough hours in the day
You ever get that feeling? I'm sure most everyone does. Seems like life just gets busier and busier, though. I remember fondly when I was younger and had all this time to just sit and play video games until the wee hours of the morning. Another early twenties flashback ;-) I have still found time to blog, though. That's a lesson for the kids out there, all you young bloggers. It's not about you. It's about the blog. Respect the blog.

Man it is soooo hot outside today. Makes me just want to take all my clothes off, lie out in the parking lot, and get some sun. As some of my friends and most of my neighbors know, I am somewhat of an exhibitionist. What? This week has been incredibly busy, trying to get ready for the beach trip. Things are moving faster than one of J-Lo's relationships. I plan to put in 11 or 12 hours today to get everything done here at work. That way, tomorrow at 10:00, I can hit the door. Yesterday, I got all my laundry done, except for a bit of ironing and folding. I went to Dad's and cut the grass. Then had Bible study, and afterwards my second job. Gonna try to get Staci to cut my hair today at some point. Also have to run by the bank, need to pick up a few things at Wal-Mart, and I've still got all my packing to do. Packing always takes me a long time, for some reason. So I should get in the bed, oh, around 3:00 AM. Boy, I wish I someone would complain. But once I am on the beach and my skin is the color of a cherry popsicle, will it all have been worth it? Of course.

I want shrimp. Real shrimp. Fresh shrimp. Mmm. I wanna throw frisbee and play volleyball on the beach. Boy, that brings back memories. (/begin Bone's beach memories) One time when we were throwing frisbee, there was this guy and girl walking towards me. Well, one of my throws veered slightly left and knocked a camera out of the girl's hand. Didn't touch her, just caught the camera clean, from like 30 yards away. I couldn't have done that again if I had tried a hundred times. Wow! I was thinking... lawsuit! They were cool about it though. Then there was the time we were playing beach volleyball. It started out 3-on-3, but it ended up being 3-on-2, because the other team kept rotating to take smoking breaks. And no matter who won the point, they'd ALWAYS roll the ball under the net to us and be like, "Here, you guys serve." Then there was the time Shane built a sandcastle and I convinced him it wasn't complete until he left his face print in the side of it. Turns out he got a mouthful of sand. Woooo! Fun times. And, of course, the most famous memory was when we were at Lambert's and the wait was like an hour and a half. There were six of us, and after about twenty minutes, the girl was like, "Murphy, party of six." Then a moment later, she repeated it. Finally, it was like, "Last call for Murphy, party of six." So I told Bunny maybe we should take their table. I went up to the counter and was like, "Did you call Murphy?" She was like, "Yes, follow me." That was the best ever. (/end Bone's beach memories)

Oh, I had another animal experience last night. When I went to Dad's, there was a bunny in the front yard, and he was trying to get out of the way of my headlights. So when I cut my truck off, I could still see him just sitting in the yard, in the darkness, being completely still. So I started walking towards him, and he ran across the street and took up a similar position in the neighbor's yard. I know why he was there. I could hear him. Sure, not audibly, with human hearing, but I knew what he was saying. He was there about the bird. "Why did you kill the bird? Why? Why? Are you going to kill me to?"

I'm sorry. OK? I'm sorry. Stop looking at me. Go back to your lagomorph houses and stop staring at me. I feel bad enough.

"With all of our running and all of our cunning, if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane..."
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Doing my part to control the fowl population
I was just wondering, how many birds does the average person hit with a vehicle in his/her lifetime? Three? Four? It seems like this spring and summer, birds have been swooping down in front of my truck at an alarming rate. I hit another one today. That's at least two or three this year. I don't know what's going on. I love animals. I wouldn't harm anything bigger than an insect. And even though I know they say not to do this, I always swerve to miss squirrels and stuff. Nevertheless, I keep hitting birds. I don't know if I'm just maybe running thru some sort of avian daredevil show, where one bird is showing off for the other birds. Or maybe the bird population as a whole is seeing more cases of depression, and they have figured out how to commit suicide. Anyway, it's disturbing, plus it's a messy clean-up. This one today is scattered all over my grill. RIP little sparrow :-(

"So go ahead pigeons, laugh it up. I'm getting in my car now, and the last I heard, we have NO DEAL!"

Celia: "My dad was a collector. I inherited them after he died from a long and painful bout--"
Jerry (interrupts): "Hey! An original GI Joe, with a full frogman suit!"
Celia: "Jerry, what are you doing?"
Jerry: "I'm putting this on him and we're going to the sink." ROFL

"Talked a good game when we were out with the guys, but in the backseat we were awkward and shy. Girls were a mystery that we couldn't explain, and I guess there are some things that are never gonna change..."
Shopping, relaxing, and somebody's baking brownies
Blogging away while somebody somewhere is wondering why the numbers on calculators and keyboards go up, but the numbers on telephones go down...

This ultra-busy week continued yesterday. I went straight from work to Huntsville and did some shopping. Got three polo shirts, three t-shirts, some cargo shorts, a cap, and some flip-flops for $87. That is just sick! I love Old Navy! (Those Taiwanese kids sure know how to sew.) Jessica met me over there and we went to the mall. Ate at Manchu Wok. It was only about the fifth time in my life I've had Chinese food (not a big fan), but it was actually pretty good. That General Tso sure knows imitation chicken.

Came back to Jessica's and relaxed for a bit. She baked brownies (the Betty Crocker kind, not the Cartman kind). They were yummy, as always. I got to watch about the first quarter of the DET/LA game, then most of the 4th quarter. In between, we watched some MTV, not surprisingly. "Pimp My Ride" is a cool show. LOL This dude on there last night had an '88 Ford Escort that was actually parts of two frames welded together. Wow, that's a little unsafe right there. Kinda like testing current racial tensions by riding down Moulton Street with a Confederate Flag stuck out the window.

Random funny:
"Well I was a little immature back then."
"Yeah, that was when you played Play Station all the time. (short pause You probably still do."
(silence)
(I'm thinking, "Time to change the subject.") ROFL

Got home in time to see the Beastie Boys on Letterman. Gonna try to cut the grass today and get laundry done for the trip. Tomorrow I will probably be working over at least two or three hours, because I'll have to get everything done thru next Wednesday. Gonna try to work in a haircut before I leave as well. And oh yeah, I need to pack. That is probably integral for the trip. I hope the weather is nice.

"They got a committee to get me off the block, cos I say my rhymes loud and I say 'em nonstop. Because being bad news is what we're all about. We went to White Castle and we got thrown out..."
Motown Takes LA Down
Did you guys see the game last night? Woohoo!! The Pistons creamed the Lakers. I mean, creamed! It was the proverbial "the game wasn't nearly as close as the score indicated" game. I don't know why it gives me so much joy to see the Lakers lose. I think one reason is that they have three, maybe four, future hall of famers. You figure definitely Shaq, Kobe, and Malone are going. Seems like most people include Payton, too. Plus, they've won three of the past five titles, so it's easy to root for the underdog. I will say one thing, though. I didn't watch an NBA game all season, but I did watch a few in the playoffs. I guess rooting against the Lakers actually makes the playoffs worth watching, for me anyway, definitely moreso than the regular season. The NBA definitely has a major image problem. It's weird in a way, because back in the early 90's, when Detroit was Chicago's arch-enemy, I hated them. And, of course, Lakers' coach Phil Jackson used to coach the Bulls. So everything is kinda turned around now. It was fun to see Kobe just throwing up bricks the entire series--7-for-21, 8-for-25, etc. Justice for all, babee! I saw in one of the press conferences after Game 4, one of the reporters was like, "I think I could shoot a better percentage than that." Wooooooooo!

Other thoughts... Billups made GP look 45 instead of 35. I think I'd just have gone with Fisher if I was the Lakers. At least he can occasionally hit a 3. I just had a feeling early, that even though the game was close in the first half, at that fast pace, you figure the Lakers are going to get tired. I also thought the bench played a huge part. Brown was able to sub in a lot more liberally than Phil. I have never seen a team just attack the basket continuously like Detroit. It seems like everything they do is going towards the basket. There were times that they'd have a guy dribble into the lane, and there'd be like three Lakers in there, and they'd hesitate for a second, then just continue dribbling on to the hoop, and either score or draw a foul most of the time. And lastly, what a great job by Larry Brown! He has always taken "less-talented" teams further than they probably should've gone, or would've gone without him. He finally has the NBA title he deserves.

Anyway, congratulations Detroit! It will be interesting to see what the off-season holds for LA. One last note: It was good to see Kid Rock and Hank Jr. in the crowd. They, of course, sing one of Kyle's favorite songs of all-time, "Don't say the F-word." ROFL

"Does it kill? Does it burn? Is it painful to learn that it's me that has all the control?"
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
71 hours to go
I have nothing interesting to write today, so read on, if you must...

Looks like the beach trip is on for this weekend. It was up in the air for a day or two there. Planning to leave work about 10:00 Friday morning, hit the road, and return sometime Tuesday evening. Jessica and I are driving down together, meeting her parents and sister down there. We're staying in Destin, which should be fun. It will be my first time there. Sometime betwixt now and then, I am going to see if I can get this thing set up so that I can email blog entries from the beach. I'm not sure if that is going to work or not. We shall see. Anyone want to use my name and post pseudo entries for a few days? It's not that hard. Some introspection, recapitulation, reflection, a few daily funnies, and a few lines from Seinfeld, and you're ready to go.

Planning to do a little shopping today, get some shorts, flip-flops, sunscreen, and other beach necessities... maybe even some speedos. What? Wow, I am going to burn like an overturned tanker truck. I am so white. Anyway, hopefully we'll get done shopping so that I can see a bit of the DET/LA game. Go Pistons!

Looks like everyone has returned from their respective vacations. Shane IM'd me yesterday. They are back from 'laska. Apparently, Melody's favorite tourist attraction in every city they visit is the local hospital. Bunny is back from the gulf. And Amber called last night. They were leaving out this morning, coming home from Pensacola. So, welcome home. Glad you all made it home safely. Now, we'll see you later, cos I'm heading to the beach ;-)

Love this exchange from The Face Painter last night:
George: "Well, I didn't want to break our date."
Siena: "Oh."
George: "Because I... I love you."
Siena: "You know, I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat."

Got to be confident in that I love you return. The Maid was also on yesterday. Jerry and Elaine are playing Battleship when he slips this little gem in, almost unnoticed:
Elaine: "What a nightmare it must be to have a real family."
Jerry: "I wouldn't worry about it, B-6."

I did remember something from the dance recital Saturday. One of the girls was named Lara Armentrout, and Tag was like, "Wonder if she's kin to my grandparents? Their last name is Armentrout." I was thinking, eh, it's probably like Smith or Jones up here.

"There's not a lot of things to do, I wouldn't rather do with you. Guess I'm funny that way..."
Monday, June 14, 2004
An evening with an old friend
Sometimes I would press my head to her chest so that I could hear her heart beating. That sound was so sweet to my ears. I would close my eyes, and hope and pray that her heart would go on beating forever, or that at the very least she would outlive me, for I could never live without her...

I got to spend the evening with a good friend last night. Bobbie was in town and she called yesterday afternoon to see if I wanted to get together and catch up on things. Mom had already invited me over for supper last night because she was cooking, so I invited Bobbie along. I called Mom and said I was bringing a guest, but didn't tell her who. My sister was sooo surprised. It was like she had woke up on Christmas morning and seen Santa Claus. I like surprises sometimes. Anyway, after dinner, we went to Joe Muggs and I had my first-ever latte. One word: Blech! Then we went to Wal-Mart for a bit. I picked up a couple of new CD's.

Anyway, it was good to catch up with an old friend. It was the first real time we have spent together in over a year. We talked non-stop. Maybe it's because we haven't seen each other much, but there seemed to be so much to talk about, family, relationships, jobs, life in general. We just kept interrupting each other. There was so much to say, and so little time. Seems like it's always that way though.

Most of the time, whenever I date someone and try to remain friends afterward, it just doesn't work real well, for any number of reasons. But somehow, we have managed to have a real friendship. There's never the slightest hint of jealousy or anything. I can go deeper with her than most anyone else. It has become one of the most rewarding relationships in my life. I am so proud of her. She has done so well with her career. She has a really good head on her shoulders. She has really matured. I think we both have. I really believe it's good to have someone, and especially of the opposite sex, that you can call and talk to about anything. It's just good to have that other point of view. It's good to have someone who will be honest with you, no matter what, even if it's not what you want to hear.

We have known each other for over nine years now. Sometimes it is really strange to look at someone I have spent so much time with, and think about how much time has passed, how things have changed, and yet so much is the same. I would catch myself looking at her while she was talking and just thinking about all the years.

I always wonder why we had such trivial problems and arguments back when we were dating. Immaturity, I guess, is the main reason. We are so similar now, but that spark, that feeling, you know, I guess it has passed. Why is it that one cannot see things clearly in the present, but once that present time has passed, one sees those things with perfect vision?

When we left Wal-Mart, she took me to my truck, and I guess we sat and talked for another 45 minutes. These times are so rare, it was like neither of us wanted to go. But we had to get back to our lives. Our paths don't cross nearly as much anymore, but I cherish the times when they do. Something about seeing her and talking to her grounds me. It feels like coming home after being away for a long time. It was good to see an old friend.

I wish I could write more. I wish I could write better.

"We caught up on old friends, caught up on old times, but all thru the small talk, it kept running thru my mind. Does she think about the nights we spent on Crystal Lake, wrapped up in a blanket 'til the break of day? So many times I've wondered does she think of me that way. But I didn't ask, and she didn't say..."
Sunday, June 13, 2004
So THAT'S why he's famous...
Well, I think it's safe to say that Tag was impressed with Famous Dave's Barbecue last night. Let's recap...

Left out about 8:00 for Kyle's yesterday morning. He called and asked me to bring my monitor, since it's smaller and thus, easier to lug around. Ate breakfast at Cracker Barrell. Then it was off to Columbia State in Tennessee for the All That Dance recital. Once we got off the interstate, it appeared we were getting farther from civiliation, so I spotted a hottie at a Shell station pumping gas and told K to pull in and ask her for directions. Turns out we were on the right track. There were two shows, at 1:00 PM and 4:00 PM. Each of them lasted just under two hours, which was nice.

The arena was really nice, much nicer than the Princess. I got a spot in the balcony on the left hand side. I don't know why, but hotties came up to sit beside me for both shows. For some reason, T and K found that ever so entertaining. During a break between the shows, we headed to a gas station for some funyuns, hot fries, and combos--lunch of champions. While there, we spotted the Back to the Future car, which was apparently there on display... or not.

Three observations from the weekend:
1. The college campus was definitely the nicest part of Columbia, that we saw, anyway.
2. The dancing at Dancers Inc. and RCE was a lot more advanced.
3. Lots of hot attractive ladies have daughters who take dance lessons.

We got out of there around 6:30 and it was time for Famous Dave's, an olfactory delight most people only dream of. The wait wasn't too long, maybe 20 minutes or so. The food was even better than normal.. tender ribs, juicy buttery corn, tangy buffalo wings, delicious fries, etc. etc. etc. We had a confusing conversation with one of the servers about Dave:

"Is that Dave?"
"No, that's Larry."
"Dave's an Indian."
"Did she say Dave's in India?"
"No, Dave's an Indian, a native American."

After dinner, Tag wanted to stop off at this ice cream place called the Marble Slab Creamery. They mix your ice cream flavor on this frozen marble slab, as the name would indicate. We discussed the brain-storming session that must have led to this idea:

"I'm telling you, people will come. If we put a frozen marble slab in there and mix our ice cream while they wait."
"That's crazy."
"No, I'm telling you. People will come. We can charge four dollars for a small cup. People from Alabama will come. They will be amazed."

There were lots of other funny exchanges, but for some reason, I can't recall any at this moment. Tag, K, and I seem to get along really well. Amber called while we were at Famous Dave's. I was like, "What are you doing?" She said, "Walking on the boardwalk." Don't tell me that! lol I got home around 11:30 last night. Just been relaxing mostly today. Bobbie called today. She is home just for the day, and is heading back to Montgomery tonight. In other news, it looks like my beach trip may be called off. What is it about me and beach trips? Oh well.

One more funny:
"I'm gonna be honest with you."
"You're dating someone else?"
"I'm gonna be sick."
"I'm the one that should be sick. YOU broke up with ME."

"Shed a tear cos I'm missing you. I'm still all right to smile. Girl, I think about you every day now..."
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Deja Vu (times 1,000)
Hmm. Friday night. Shoot pool. Eat at Applebees. Seems like I've done this exact same thing somewhere before...

After work yesterday, I came home and crashed on the couch for a couple of hours. Woke up and went for a run. I only ran about two miles, 15-20 minutes at most, and my face was already starting to get red. It was so hot! K called to see if I would be able to come do the voice work for the lake house video. So I decided to get a shower and head that way.

We ended up going to The Brick to shoot some pool, oddly enough. I mentioned to Janice how I'd seen her at the dance recital last weekend. Speaking of dancing, no one else was in the pool room (or so I thought), so I started dancing to this music they had playing. Well, Michelle walks in and comes up behind me and sees me. She was laughing and said, "Wooo! I like that!" It was quite embarrassing. She came in later and was like:
"So you gonna show me anymore moves?"
"Uh no. No free dances. You have to pay."
"Oh, you're just a tease."
"No one should ever see that."

Then she was saying how Kyle had runner's legs. What the crap? After pool, we ended up going to Applebees for some dinner. Sat with Davina. Had a good time, although my meal came out looking a little sparse. (See K's blog for a picture and video clip. lol) While we were waiting for a table to come open, some dude walks up to me and says hey. I look at him and it takes me a couple of seconds before I realize it is Bobbie's younger brother. Wow, I have not seen him since she and I broke up in 1999. He couldn't even drive then. lol Oh well. Time flies. Of course, I asked about her, since she was supposed to move back home from Nashville a month or so ago. He said she had gotten transferred again, this time to Montgomery. That's a lot of moving right there. I should probably give her a call, but we all know that is not going to happen... because of the reason.

Lots of nightly funnies. Here's what I can remember:
J: "Are they lesbian?"
K: "No."
J: "Are you sure?"
K: "No." ROFL

(reminiscing) "Boy, we had some... times."

"Dude, if any chick likes YOUR legs, you need to latch onto her like nobody's business."

D: "I'm just not sure if you're ever gonna be able to find a woman who can satisfy you."

That's all for now, friends. Have a wonderful weekend. I've gotta get on the road. Gonna be a long day. Filming in Nashvegas today. (Actually, in Columbia, just south of Nashville.) Then, hopefully, dinner at Famous Dave's. Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmmm mmmm.

"Reach down your hand in your pocket. Pull out some hope for me. It's been a long day, always. Ain't that right?"
Friday, June 11, 2004
Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds...
...and purple horse shoes. Sometimes I think the worst part of being a parent would be having to let your kid have the toy out of the cereal box.

I was pouring some Lucky Charms yesterday, when out pops a hot wheels car. Sweet. Oh man, I used to love to play with those. Although, what can you do with a hot wheels, except look at it and roll it around a little? So, I rolled it on the counter a few times. Seemed to roll smoothly. Good front-end alignment. What else can I do? So I added my milk and dove into my LC's. (Cartman voice): "No leprechaun, these are my Lucky Charms!!"

I remember when I was younger, the number one attribute I looked for in a cereal was what kind of toy it came with. It didn't matter what it tasted like. As long as it had a good toy, I could eat it. "What's this, some type of raw wheat? I can eat that." And those proof of purchase rip-offs. Oh, I hated those! I did not have the patience, nor the attention span to actually save up PoP's from two or three boxes, and then have to mail them in and wait for my toy. Oh well, sweet memories. I loved my early twenties. What?

Yesterday was a relaxing day. After work, I ran by the bank, then headed over to Jessica's to hang out for awhile. Got to watch very little of the Pistons/Lakers game :-\ Glad to see Detroit creamed them though. Around 9:00, I called in an order to Applebees. When I got up there, I went to the bar, which is where you go to pick up carry-out orders. Donna brings me a lemonade and sits it down (cos that's what I always get), and I'm like, "Uh, I had a to-go order." She gave this look like I just told her I was pregnant with her child or something. So anyway, while I'm sitting there waiting, J-Mo yells at me from table 51. He, Kyle, and their respective adoptive families are up there eating, so I walked over to say hey to them before I left. "Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name..."

On the way home last night, the 80's station played Owner of a Lonely Heart, Red Red Wine, and a Billy Joel song back to back. Oh man, that's an auditory party for your cochlea right there.

"But it's all right now. I learned my lesson well. You see you, can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself..."
Thursday, June 10, 2004
I'm losing my sister
That's what it feels like. I know it sounds geigh to say that, but that is how I've felt the past few weeks. She told me the other day she turned in her resignation at her job. I didn't know what to say. I mean, she is grown. She can make her own decisions. But she has never attended the first day of college in her life, and makes more than a lot of people I know with four-year degrees. And I know I did the exact same thing, pretty much, but I have also regretted it at times. And I just want the best for her. I suppose there are some lessons we have to learn on our own, and no matter how much someone tries to tell us something, we think we know best.

Anyhow, it just feels like a lot of things are changing. She will be getting married in 44 days!!! My baby sister!!! She has been really busy planning the wedding and taking care of stuff for her house, so we haven't gotten to see each other or talk much these past few weeks. I guess Mom and Dad are going thru much of the same feelings. I don't know. Dad acts like it doesn't even bother him. Mom bawled her eyes out when she told her she was getting married. I dunno. I know it is all a part of life. I guess everyone who has a sibling goes thru this. Things change. I just worry about her.

Here's what I wrote on her birthday last year.

"Ain't it funny how a melody, can bring back a memory. Take you to another place and time, completely change your state of mind..."
One of my favorite jokes...
I first heard this back in high school. You've probably heard it. Maybe not. Either way, it makes me laugh. And it goes a little something like this... hit it.

After Quasimodo's death, the archbishop of Notre Dame began accepting applications for a new bell ringer. Near the end of the first day of interviews, an armless man approached him and said that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The archbishop was skeptical and told the man he did not see how he could possibly do the job with no arms. But the man was persistent and said, "Watch this." With that, the armless man got a running start and ran towards the bell, striking it with his head. He did it again. And again. The archbishop listened in amazement and was convinced that he had found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Then, on the fourth attempt, the armless man, now groggy, completely missed the bells, tripped, and plunged out the window of the tower, falling several stories to his death on the street below.

By the time the stunned archbishop reached the man's side, a crowd had gathered around the armless man's body. One of the onlookers saw the archbishop and asked, "Who is this man?"

"I don't know his name," the archibishop replied, "but his face rings a bell."

The following day, despite the sadness of the armless man's death weighing heavily on his heart, the archbishop faced the arduous task of continuing the interviews. The first man to approach him said, "Sir, I am the brother of the poor, armless man, who fell to his death from this tower yesterday. I ask that you would honor his life by allowing me to replace him as the bell ringer. Of course, the archbishop agreed to give him a try.

As the armless man's brother picked up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned loudly, clutched at his chest, and died. Two passersby, hearing the archbishop's cries of grief, rushed up the stairs. "What happened?" asked the first man. "Who is this man?"

"I don't know his name," sighed the archbishop, "but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

"How the time goes by. Suddenly you're wise. Another blink of an eye, sixty-seven is gone. The sun is gettin' high. We're movin' on..."
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Destination Destin
Shane's in Alaska. Bunny's in Gulf Shores. Dave's in Cincinnati. Amber's in Pensacola. And soon, I shall be in Destin. Just got approval for my vacation time! Woooohoooo!!! Das better than moon pies in da microwave.

That reminds me, I was watching The Judds E! True Hollywood Story the other night. (Oh, be quiet, you know you wish you'd seen it.) There was this real country sounding manager guy or something, and he was talking about something that happened and he said, "I got so excited, I coulda threaded a sewing maching with it runnin'." :-D

Anywho, we are planning to leave on the 18th and return the 22nd. This is gonna be great!

"If you like pina coladas, and gettin' caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga. If you have half a brain..."
I MUST get a new computer... PRONTO!
Pronto... I remember the Hardy boys used to say that a lot. That's funny. What isn't funny is my computer situation. My computer is the equivalent of the 8-track tape player. Had some bizarre malfunction yesterday, so I couldn't get online for like four hours. Ended up reinstalling Windows, but even that took awhile because scandisk kept finding and having to fix all these errors. Anyway, the new computer has pushed it's way to the top of my priority list.

In other news, I punk'd Jessica yesterday. We were talking and I was like "You didn't take a $100 bill out of my wallet just as a joke did you?" She was like, "No." So it went on for a few minutes, and then I was like, "If you need money, you can just tell me." I figured that would really make her mad, but she remained fairly calm. Finally, I was like, "I didn't lose any money. You've been punk'd!" I don't think she thought it was quite as funny as I thought it was. Oops. Bless her heart, she did make the best blueberry muffins I have ever had, ever, in my entire life, yesterday. Mmmm.

The only thing about Punk'd that I don't like, besides the fact that I hate confrontation, is that I've never even heard of half the people they punk. Interestingly enough, I had a dream last night that my checkbook and check card had been stolen out of my wallet by Tim and this boy I want to school with, Michael Borden. I was like in a K-Mart or something, and they had pick-pocketed me.

It was kinda nice to be able to relax somewhat yesterday afternoon at home. I did get out and wash the truck. The front bumper had become somewhat of a bug museum. I think there are a couple less cicadas in the world than there were a week ago. I got all my laundry done. Watched some of the NBA Finals. Everyone has been saying to me what a great game it was. Well, not if you despise the Lakers. It would have been a great game if Kobe had bricked that 3-pointer and Detroit had won. Oh well. And while we're on the subject, does anyone really truly believe that girl is going to get a fair trial?

Looks like a trip to Nashvegas may be in the works for Saturday to film some stuff up there. If so, I'm sure a trip to Famous Dave's will be in order, too. Mmmm. Can't wait. I hope Brian saves us a seat. What?

Random funnies:
"I wrote your number on my hand."
"What, are you in third grade?"

"Why don't they ever punk Tom Hanks or someone I've ever heard of?"

Lines from "The Voice":
Kramer: You see I come up with these things. I know they're gold, but nothing happens. You know why?
Jerry: No resources, no skill, no talent, no ability, no brains...
Kramer (interrupting): No. No time! It's all these menial tasks-- laundry, grocery shopping, coming in here talking to you. Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?
Jerry: I can ball park it.

Jerry: No, it can be Spanish. Holaaaaaaa. La la laaaaa.

Jerry: So I have to choose between seeing you and doing the voice?
Girlfriend" That's right.
Jerry: I can do that.
Girlfriend: So what's your decision?
Jerry: I don't know. :-D

Hellooooo. La la laaaaaa. I'm slippery as an eel. We used to do that voice all the time a few years ago. I would pull up my shirt in public and make my bellybutton talked. Everyone loved it... or was totally disgusted by it... whichever.

"Please don't change. Please don't break. The only thing that seems to work at all is you. Please don't change at all, from me, to you, and you, to me, yeah..."
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Is loss of memory directly related to lack of sleep?
I was telling someone this morning how I couldn't remember anything anymore, especially short-term. So they asked how long it had been going on, and I was like maybe six months or a year.

Well, that got me to thinking, so I did a little online research, and found some interesting articles.

Lack Of Sleep Alters Hormones, Metabolism... more

"We suspect that chronic sleep loss may not only hasten the onset but could also increase the severity of age-related ailments such as diabetes, hypertension, obesity and memory loss." Yikes!

The Analyst - Lack Of Sleep

I really like this page. Check out the Epworth Sleepiness Scale. I scored myself a 12. LOL Off da charts, babee! As a passenger in a car for an hour without a break, lying down to rest in the afternoon when circumstances permit, in the theater? Those are automatic sleep times for me.

Sleep Disorders

Well I hope this information will be useful for you. I definitely have to quit depriving myself of sleep and become more disciplined and get in bed earlier. Remember, IYROOBTY is not only here to entertain and to make it easier for you to more ably stalk me, we are also here to inform and educate, sharing tips so that we can all live a happier, healthier, longer bloggeriffic life.

"I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. And he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying..."
Hasselhoff In Da Car Gettin' Tipsy
Former Baywatch Star Arrested For Drunken Driving

The folks at NY Post don't seem to care too much for DH. "Aging hunk..." What the crap? Who isn't aging?

"...checked into the Betty Ford Clinic two years ago, admitting he was a binge drinker who had hit rock bottom. He only lasted there one day."

Ouch. LOL Well, look at it this way, he's probably just trying to get into his rapper persona. This guy is the definition of a rebel... or something. I mean, a 51-year-old well-tanned white rapper with a perm isn't going to get any respect until he has a little trouble with the popo. (Hmm, I probably should've stopped ended sentence after the word "respect".)

Or... maybe Kit was driving ;-)

"I get knocked down, but I get up again. And you're never gonna keep me down..."
Bone's Blog Goes Multi-lingual
Well, I guess we all knew it was just a matter of time. Check this out... my blog in French.

That was on my referrals list. Apparently, someone in France is reading. So hello Christelle, Adrienne, Emmanuelle, whoever you are... Henri, Jacques, Marcel. What?

Coming soon, If You Read Only Uno Blog This Ano, for my faithful followers in Madrid and northern Mexico... or not.

Last twenty search strings for my blog (aka things that make you go hmm):
1. 2004 email guestbook of Cooter's Garage Dukes of Hazzard.
2. elite cafe waco texas
3. i wanna be like mike +commercial
4. everone loves raymond
5. jihad e coyote seinfeld
6. bounty commercial pool balls water
7. Applebees
8. "rat in soup"
9. "sometimes i dream" "like mike" lyrics
10. Misty Hooters Birmingham Alabama
11. seinfeld on leno
12. "vic's vacant lot", tv show
13. will ferrell "it's the most wonderful time of the year"
14. girls that are waiting for a boy to chat with them to go on a date ages 12 only
15. Famous Dave's atlanta georgia rib event
16. opinions about miss universe 2004
17. hardees commercial McGwire
18. "when you've only got a hundred years to live" lyrics
19. naked 16 year
20. Paint Me a Birmingham meaning

"My favorite suicide bomber is the guy who blows himself up without hurting anyone else, sort of a Jihad E. Coyote." - J. Seinfeld

Those remind me of two things I've been meaning to blog about. I have gotten a ton of hits looking for an interpretation of Paint Me A Birmingham. And I saw the Mark McGwire commerical again the other night. Do you notice how he looks like he has taken four or five huge bites, yet at the end of the commercial, there is only a tiny bite missing from the burger. I guess he only agreed to do the ad as long as they could guarantee that he wouldn't have to eat the crap. And what is the deal with him picking off the pickle and eating it? Maybe that's the only part he could stomach.

"She asked me what's to see there, an innocent look on her face. I said, well when someone there loves you, it's not a half bad place..."
Monday, June 07, 2004
Woody The Woodpecker (The Great Debate)
Jessica and I were hanging out the other night and she was telling me about some kid she knew (brother, cousin, friend, something) who used to laugh like Woody Woodpecker when he was little.

I can't remember the conversation exactly, but it went something like this:
Her: He sounded just like Woody the Woodpecker.
Me: Uh, I think it's just Woody Woodpecker. No "the".
Her: No, it's Woody THE Woodpecker.
Me: No, it's not. That's like saying Fred the Flintstone, or Mickey the Mouse. That's his name.
Her: What about Winnie the Pooh? Do you say Winnie Pooh?
Me: No. It's Winnie THE Pooh, but just Woody Woodpecker. Woodpecker is his last name. I'm quite sure.
Her: Whatever. (<---I get that one a lot.)

Very Seinfeldian, don't you think? I enjoyed it. Do you think I analyze things too much? Nah!

"Second chances these days are so hard to come by. I love that lady, so you best forget ever getting her back, cos she's mine..."
Nocturnal Phantasm #604A
Well, here's what I remember from last night's mental adventure:

I was at someone's house. There were several people there, some I knew, some I didn't. And these two cute girls started talking to me. Then all of a sudden, we all three busted out and started singing Ludicris' part of "Yeah yeah": Watch out, my outfit's ridiculous. In da club, lookin' so conspicuous, etc. (I just wonder if it came on the TV while I was asleep or something.)

Then, the next thing I remember is we were at H.A. Alexander Park and one of the baseball fields had water on it and they were selling paddle boat rides on the field, so we got in line to go on one of those. The only other part I remember, and this is probably a completely different dream, is that Jessica had this blue ointment. I don't know what she was using it for, but some of it ended up in my mouth somehow, and it tasted bad.

I have no idea what any of this dream means, but when I woke up, I did go and brush my teeth.

"If you want to leave take good care. Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there. Just remember there's a lot of bad and beware. Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world. It's hard to get by just upon a smile girl..."
A tripod short
That seems to sum up the weekend pretty well right there. LOL Yowza! For me not to blog for two whole days, you know I have to be busy. Let's hit the high points...

First, I didn't go see The Day After Tomorrow, because it was on at the crappy theater in town, the one with the missing seats. And the seats that ARE there are covered in gum and sticky goo. I imagine it to be very similar to the theater where Pee Wee Herman was arrested. Anyway, I guess I'll have to go out of town to see it.

Saturday, I was hanging out with Jess, just waiting on time for the River City dance recital. K called and said Shane was running late (imagine that). So, I had to help with the wedding. Well, I had been wearing jeans, so I jetted home (25 minutes one-way), changed into some nicer clothes, and jetted back to the church. They were short a tripod, so I got to hand-film my part. Plus, for some reason, this particular sect believes in standing up for the majority of the wedding, not just for the bride to enter and leave. So, I was holding the camera as far above my head as possible. I think I caught the top of the bride's head a couple of times. Oh well. My arm started cramping about ten minutes in, so most of my footage looks like there was an earthquake shaking the building. That should make for some happy memories. I did get some good shots of some hotties in the crowd. Actually, that's mostly all I got. What?

After that, I headed over to the dance recital, which began at 7:00. That's always three hours of videography funtime right there. Good to see J-Mo and Johnna there (Kyle had been calling her Janna all day). I walked over to the table where they were and was asking Johnna how she knew Jon:
Me: "So how do you know Jon?"
Her: "His sister."
(Me, looking very confused, as I was only aware that Jon had one sister. Plus, they don't favor AT ALL.)
Me: "What?" (short pause) "Oh!! Thru his sister." I was gonna say, I think one of you is adopted.

Anyway, I found Tag, who apparently wasn't expecting me. He said he thought Shane and Carson were going to film. Kyle had been calling him Clint and Casey all day, instead of Carson, so I thought we were going to have about five or six camera operators. Everything worked out though. Shane got there with the last camera about five minutes before showtime. Wheeeee. I hate that I missed the drunken wedding guest limo joy ride at the reception though (see K's blog). Turns out that Janice from The Brick is one of the dance instructors. I saw her Saturday night and did a double take, but I was thinking that couldn't be her. Then I heard them announce her name Sunday and realized it was. Well, that'll give me something to talk to her about next time I see her... or something to keep to myself for the rest of my life. Whichever. Dinner at Applebees was good. Donna made S and me a couple of her world-famous oreo shakes. Left AB's around midnight, and I headed by Matt's to see the new pool table. A few other people were over there, and I did not get home until very late (or very early).

Sunday was a bit more organized. Despite the late night, I made it to church. After fixing a bite of lunch, I headed back to the Princess. The story and narration of this recital just made me want to recreate the Lincoln assassination scene, with Carson playing John Wilkes Booth and me in the role of Lincoln, of course. They seriously need to hire LMV to provide narration next year. I wouldn't mind sitting backstage with Janice, reading a corny script ;-) Gotta take one for the team once in awhile. K and I went to Logan's after that for dinner. Saw Jennifer as soon as we walked in, so I was like "Does she have a table?" Then, five seconds later, Brandie walked by and she was obviously ticked off that we weren't sitting with her, since K and her are engaged... or dating.. or talking.. or we have sat with her 3 or 4 times before. Yeah, that's more accurate. That brought back old memories of when Donna and I were engaged... or not even dating. Whichever. Went to Jess' house after that and hung out for the rest of the night. I owe her a big thank you! Also probably owe her an apology. I dozed off on the couch, and I tend not to be in my usual merry mood when someone tries to awaken me.

Oh, to top things off, Dave called just before the Sunday afternoon performance:
"JT! Guess where I'm at man."
"Um, the Great Western Forum?" (I forgot, it's the Staples Center now.)
"Good guess. I'm at Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati, watching the Reds."

Oh man, don't tell me that. Husqvarna!!!! I should be there. Oh well, he called me later to give me the highlights of the game. Junior hit two homeruns and the Reds scored three in the bottom of the ninth to win it. Sweet. Picked a great game to go to. Dave said he got me a program and a Reds cup. Good ol' Dave. Thanks buddy. I greatly appreciate that.

More weekend funnies:
"She looked seventeen to me. I've been around lots of seventeen-year-olds."

"What did you just call him?"
"I dunno. Bud?"
"Oh, I thought you said Boo." ROFL

If you've read this entire entry, you are truly a devoted blog reader. Thanks for reading ;-)

"Tried to be, more than me. And I gave until it all went away."
Friday, June 04, 2004
Whew, I can breathe again (or talk on my cell again)
The weather is sooo nice today! This is the kind of day that just makes you want to strip down to your man-thong and run thru the streets of town waving your arms and singing Michael Jackson songs, you know? No? Hmm, I guess it could just be me.

My billing cycle starts over today, so I can talk freely again without fear or worry of expensive overage charges. $0.49 a minute... forget that smorgasboard. So, if you've called me in the last three days and I've rushed you off the phone or the first thing I said was like, "What do you want" or "I can't talk" or "I'll call you back", well, that's the reason why. Unless you're an ex-girlfriend, then it's a whole different reason altogether. What? So now, my minutes are free at last, free at last. Well, not free really, since I pay like $39 a month. (Sometimes I get the feeling I'm overanalyzing everything... nah!!!) But now, I have 400 daytime minutes to spend as I wish, at my disposal. So, call away! I really don't know how I went that far over though. Oh well.

I caught the end of the National Spelling Bee last night. I turned it on when they were down to three contestants. One guy was like a ventriloquist. You could barely see his mouth move when he was talking. The kid who won was 14, but his voice hadn't changed yet. That's OK though, I didn't hit puberty until... hmm... nevermind. WOOOOOOOO!!! Anyway, I was thinking, really it's more of a memorization bee than a spelling bee. I mean, I'm sure they are all naturally gifted spellers, but I think it would be better if there were no lists and they just started out with fairly common words. No one ever uses any of these words. Ever. Even in research papers. Atete, segetal, autochthonous? Come on, grant me a respite. On the other hand, I guess it might go on forever if they did it that way. I remember I lost in fourth grade spelling bee, and cried. And my teacher ordered me balloons and they were at my desk when I got back to my classroom and the other students were all saying how good I did. How geigh. ROFL

Oh, they were down to the final two kids and the ventriloquist guy misses "schwarmerei." (I know, how in the world do you miss that?) Anyway, before he spelled it, he asked for the definition, and the moderator was like, "Excessive unbridled enthusiasm." You know what I was thinking... Billy Mumphrey. Unbridled enthusiam. That's what led to Billy Mumphrey's downfall. He was a simpleton. Some might say, a cock-eyed optimist.

The rest of the day... Jonathan brought by the apartment application. He said he talked to the lady and it's mine if I want it. The question is, do I want it? Of course I do. I just hate the hassle of moving. Amelia IM'd me about 9:15 and reminded me to watch Wild Boyz. I can't believe I am actually kinda liking that show now. They are just so crazy, it is funny. Went to Jessica's for a few minutes before she had to go to work. Stopped by Rooster's to get our dinner. I wasn't real impressed. (Am I ever?) I mean, for chicken to be your whole empire, those fingers need to be exceptional. Went by the grocery store on the way home. Kayla checked me out (in the cash register sense only). If K or J-Mo had been with me with their camera phones, I am sure they would have posted a picture.

When I got home, I decided to go for an adventure run, just sorta running down different streets as the urge hit me. Not sure how far it was. I'll have to measure it in the truck today. I highly recommend doing that from time to time. It is good just to break up the monotony of the same old pre-measured course. Keeps things interesting.

"The secret of life is there ain't no secret, and you don't get your money back..."
Thursday, June 03, 2004
Bone is getting beach fever
Fifteen days 'til Destin... sounds like the title of a book, or movie. Or something. Bone likes the beach. Bone would live near the beach if he could. Bone doesn't have much to say today, but Bone is blogging anyway.

If you can't tell, "The Jimmy" was on TBS last night. Some great lines:

J: Did you notice he always refers to himself in the third person? Jimmy can dunk. Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy will see you later.
E: No, no. That's not him. That's the guy who gave me Jimmy's number.
J: That's Jimmy. That's the way he talks.
E: I'm going to go see Mel Torme with him?
J: Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.

J: You find you need to use a lot of obscenities at the dentist?
K: When they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly.

(after Jerry finds a Penthouse at the dentist's office)
K: So, did you take a look?
J: Of course, but that's got nothing to do with it.
K: Well, I'll tell you I'm looking forward to my appointment on
Thursday. I might even get there a few minutes early.

E: You can't find beauty in a man?
J: No. I find them repugnant and unappealing.
E: You know, just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.
G: It doesn't help. ROFL

Looks like I'll be helping LMV film another dance recital Saturday night. I kinda want to go shopping Friday, pick up some shorts and clothes for the beach trip. Wouldn't mind seeing "The Day After Tomorrow." The previews intrigue me, which is rare. Of course, seeing as how I've been to the movies exactly 4 times since the beginning of 2002, odds are against that happening :-P Has anyone seen it yet? If you have, comment and let me know what you thought about it.

Nice to see Namie shared my cop story in his blog. lol

Seems like a lot of people have been sick lately. Hope everyone gets better soon. Bone is thinking about you. Bone recommends Vitamin C. That's what Bone takes ;-) Bone will blog more later.

"I blew out my flip-flop. Stepped on a pop top. Cut my heel, had to cruise on back home..."
In The News #18
Man Loses Front Teeth Looking Up Skirt

Wow, I don't even know if perverted is the right word anymore. The planning, the forethought.. it's devious. "(It's) like looking at the sun. You don't stare. You get a glimpse, then look away."

Cracker Barrell Claims Mouse Was Planted

Speaking of devious. Don't these people have jobs? Who has the freakin' time to go around planting rodents in food at restaurants? Get a life. An autopsy on a mouse? ROFL On a positive note, I guess the Barrel is off the black-list, which is good, cos I was running out of places to eat.

Coney Island Cyclone Gets Stuck

And to think, I almost rode that. Or, passed by about fifty yards away and took a picture of it.

Woman Ordered To Pay Husband For Having A Baby With Another Man

Weren't they on Dr. Phil? See? It's innovative Korean ideas like this (and the ricksha) that we should be implementing over here. "The man had used condoms whenever they had sex, but he agreed to marry, thinking that one of the condoms didn't work." That makes me think of the Rachel/Ross conversation:
"Well, condoms only work like 97% of the time."
"What? Well, they should put that on the box!"
"They do."
"No, they don't!! (looks at box) Well, they should put it in huge black letters!"

Man Arrested For Showering In Car Wash

Maybe he had low-flow shower heads at home. You know you can't get the shampoo out of your hair with those. Sometimes you need industrial strength.

"There's only so much I can do for you, after all of the things you put me thru..."
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Miss Universe
Congratulations to Miss Australia, Jennifer Hawkins, on being crowned Miss Universe 2004. Sweeeeeeeet!


Hubba Hubba Posted by Hello


Miss Universe Posted by Hello


The Final Two (Miss USA & Miss Australia) Posted by Hello

And hey, it was good to see Trinidad & Tobago in the top five. I'm sure somewhere Jean-Paul is smiling..."Yeah, he's Trinidadian and Tobaggan."

Hope everyone caught Steve-O and Chris Pontius on Leno last night. It was a rerun, but I hadn't seen it. Those guys are crazy.

"Happily ever after fails and we've been poisoned by these fairy tales. And lawyers dwell on small details, since Daddy had to fly..."
69-65? I can't watch this anymore...
Let's talk sports today... Sometime late in the third quarter of Tuesday night's DET/IND game, when it became painfully clear to me that neither team would reach the 50-point barrier before the 4th quarter, I realized that the NBA has hit rock bottom. Sure, I've seen it coming. I think we all have. But when you're left longing for the days of those 83-79 Knicks/Heat shootouts, something is wrong. Where have you gone, Pete Myers?

On a somewhat positive note, I am impressed by Richard (Rip, Rick, George IV) Hamilton. To use a cliche, he is probably one of the more underrated stars in the league. IMO, you have the two best coaches in the league in the finals. Although, Phil always seems to be loaded with talent (Shaq, Kobe, Malone, Payton, MJ, Pippen, Wilt, Kareem... what). Larry Brown seems to do more with less. It would be interesting to see what would happen if those two switched teams for a season. As far as my NBA picks go, I did pick the Pistons to come out of the East. My West was all screwed up, but I did say whoever won between LA/SA would go to the finals. It's just that I thought SA would win :-P Oh well.

I watched the end of the Capriati/Serena Williams match after work yesterday. Glad to see Jennifer win. With Anna and Hingis gone, Jen is about the only one left to root for, as far as hot players go (Navratilova notwithstanding... what?) I mean, sure there's always the hot Russian of the week, but I need substance. I don't want some fly-by-night one-tournament-wonder. I'm tired of girls putting on a big show and getting my hopes up, only to be let down after a few weeks. I'm looking for something long-term. What the crap am I talking about?

The Reds won in 10 innings last night, reclaiming the best record in the NL. It's kinda like when you're on an LSD trip, I'm just hoping the ride doesn't end anytime soon. In a way, I feel like their staff is as shaky as the Tacoma Narrows, and is about to collapse at anytime. On the other hand, Wilson is 7-0, and that helps keep things together. Hopefully, his injury isn't serious and he will only miss one start. I think Acevedo and Lidle can hold out for the entire season. Beyond that, I don't know. Most disturbing is that, other than Acevedo, they haven't farmed up a starting pitcher of any consequence since Brett Tomko, and that was at least five or six years ago. I do believe if they are still in it at the break that they will spend to sign a quality starter. I hope so anyway. I think staying healthy is the #1 key. They have very little depth. Kearns isn't completely healthy, and he still hasn't hit. He's below .200. It's just nice to see Junior roaming center field, and proving that if he's healthy, he is still one of the best in the game. In a perfect world, they could get a true leadoff hitter and a better catcher, as well. Larue is having a horrible year, at the plate and defensively. Makes you long for the days of Dann Bilardello, or at least Joe Oliver.

"In Dallas, Texas, isn't that where we, always said we would like to try? We never did, so maybe that's why you're on every highway, just beyond the high-beams. Right beside me, in all of my sweet dreams. No matter where you choose to be, in my heart I'll always see you everywhere..."
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Beep Beep (RBA - Random Bloggage Alert)
If you secretly hoped Tom would catch Jerry, and the Coyote would catch the Roadrunner, this blog's for you...

I not only hoped for that. I always thought that if Tom the cat and Wile E. Coyote could ever put their heads together, there would be no stopping them. Is my mind warped?

Heads-up: Steve-O is going to be on Leno tonight.

$214.01. That is what I spent on gas during the month of May. That's roughly $6.90 a day. I could support like four kids in Africa for that right there.

More talk about 80's toys... Did everyone try at least once to pull the stickers off the Rubik's Cube and put them back on so that it would look like you solved it? Or maybe that was just me. I used to be very competitive. Sometimes when giving blood, I would race the person next to me to see if I could squeeze my pint out first. OK, just kidding about that. Ever since 'the incident' though, I've been much more laid back. What?

I weighed completely naked the other day (TMI?), and I was at 177... pounds, not kilograms. So that's not too bad. I'd like to stay right around there. Went running yesterday. I need to get some semblance of a tan, at least enough color so as to not be mistaken for an escapee from an albino research lab. Looks like I will get to go to Destin in a couple of weekends. Woohoo! It'll be my first beach trip in at least two years, maybe three. Well, not counting the hour or two we spent last summer at Coney Island.

Oh, The Junk Mail was on last night. Figured I'd share a few lines to help get you thru the day...

"There's a spot. Just back up."
(beeping noise)
"Hold on. There must be a big truck backing up."
"No, that's us."

"We were out in front of the post office today and not one person went in."
"It's Sunday."
"Why is the mailman wearing a bucket?"
"It symbolizes our persecution."
"Then shouldn't you be wearing the bucket?"

"Seinfeld's van! Seinfeld's van!"
"What's he saying?"
"I think he's saying Son of Sam... I knew it wasn't Berkowitz!"

"You left a stain, on every one of my good days. But I am stronger than you know. I have to let you go..."
Seinfeld DVD Survey
Take this short survey about which of four alternate covers should be used for the Seasons 1 & 2 DVD, and also what free gift should be included with the set.



Bloopers, unseen stand-up footage? I'm bursting, Jerry! I'm bursting!!! Wow, I am really looking forward to this. If you are wondering what to get me for Christmas this year, the Seinfeld DVD is definitely at the top of my list. What will I do once I get all nine seasons on DVD? I guess the only thing I'll have to look forward to then will be the day when I finally get my own personal 4-volt Rascal.

"You say that I changed. Well maybe I did. But even if I changed, what's wrong with it? I never let you go..."