Thursday, June 03, 2004

In The News #18

Man Loses Front Teeth Looking Up Skirt

Wow, I don't even know if perverted is the right word anymore. The planning, the forethought.. it's devious. "(It's) like looking at the sun. You don't stare. You get a glimpse, then look away."

Cracker Barrell Claims Mouse Was Planted

Speaking of devious. Don't these people have jobs? Who has the freakin' time to go around planting rodents in food at restaurants? Get a life. An autopsy on a mouse? ROFL On a positive note, I guess the Barrel is off the black-list, which is good, cos I was running out of places to eat.

Coney Island Cyclone Gets Stuck

And to think, I almost rode that. Or, passed by about fifty yards away and took a picture of it.

Woman Ordered To Pay Husband For Having A Baby With Another Man

Weren't they on Dr. Phil? See? It's innovative Korean ideas like this (and the ricksha) that we should be implementing over here. "The man had used condoms whenever they had sex, but he agreed to marry, thinking that one of the condoms didn't work." That makes me think of the Rachel/Ross conversation:
"Well, condoms only work like 97% of the time."
"What? Well, they should put that on the box!"
"They do."
"No, they don't!! (looks at box) Well, they should put it in huge black letters!"

Man Arrested For Showering In Car Wash

Maybe he had low-flow shower heads at home. You know you can't get the shampoo out of your hair with those. Sometimes you need industrial strength.

"There's only so much I can do for you, after all of the things you put me thru..."

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