(Note: This entry is not about her. Just wanted to clarify that.)
"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."
Some people have a problem opening up. Some stay emotionally detached. I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think what a sad life that must be. But perhaps I am the one with the problem. It has almost always been easy for me to open up. To express my feelings. What's in my heart. Too easy, I'm beginning to think.
When you open yourself up, and allow someone else to come inside, there's almost no limit to the damage they can do. So I can understand all those people who don't let anyone in, who treat it all as just a game. I even tried that for awhile. I'm not sure if it was by choice, or some sort of defense mechanism. Probably a bit of both, but more the latter. I did that for a couple of years. I dated girls, but kept myself from getting attached. Then when something happened, it honestly didn't bother me.
I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think how sad it must be to never feel. Now? I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe there was a time when they did open up. Gave everything they had. And lost it.
Now here I sit. Empty. Jaded. Doubting my own instincts.
When I looked at her, for the first time in my life, I saw the future. At least... I thought I did. It seemed so clear. So real. How can a heart be so badly mistaken?
I'd been wrong before. And I'm sure I'll be wrong again.
But I hope that I won't be that wrong anymore.
"We call them weak, who are unable to resist, the slightest chance love might exist. And for that, forsake it all..."