(Bone channels Dr. Phil? Or More about Bone than you wanted to know. Probably choice B.)
So I had nine trick-or-treaters last night. Not many, but more than at my other place. There was a group of three, then a group of five, then one little girl. The group of five included one person bigger than me, with a trick or treat bag. What the crap?! OK, if you want to go along with the kids, that is more than fine. Just don't carry a bag. Among the costumes that I can remember, there was a Spiderman, an angel, a ninja, she-devil, and Tinkerbell. To Tinkerbell, I said, "What are you, an angel?" She said, "No, I'm Tinkerbell." The little kids are soo cute! Just makes me want to have one. Of course, not being able to reproduce asexually, there are a couple of obstacles in my way. Then again, I hear kids screaming in restaurants, running wild thru the mall, and misbehaving in general, and, well, I'm glad that I don't.
I know, I know, once I have my own, my whole outlook and opinion will change. And I have no doubt that this is true. I saw evidence of this in a friend of mine recently. He and his wife had their first child and several months later, I asked him to go do something one night. It was something that normally, he always would have been up for. But instead, this time he said he didn't know, and that he might just come home from work and play with his son that night. Which is what he did. Amazing.
On the other hand, I know people who are married. And several of them are having problems, or just don't seem very happy. And though they won't say it, I can almost see that they regret it. I imagine that some of them wish they were still single, or long to be single again. Then I hear single friends wondering if they'll ever get married, almost like they are longing for that. I hate knowing friends are unhappy. I would rather be unhappy if it meant that someone I care about would be happy. Does that make sense? Maybe everyone is like that. It's just that if I know someone I care about is unhappy, that almost always takes precedence to whatever I might be dealing with in my life at that time. When everyone else is happy, I'm happy. Sorry, got off on a little tangent there.
The grass always looks greener on the other side. That saying hasn't been around for eight eons for nothing. It may look better, but more times than not, it probably isn't. Sure, being single has a lot of advantages. Girls. Massages. Sitting around in your underwear. Not shaving for three days. (Note to self: Evaluate my definition of advantages.) If I want to stay out until 4:00 in the morning, I don't have to tell anyone (usually). If I want to get a massage every week, who's stopping me? I can take off and fly across the country or drive down to the beach on a whim. There's no one else to consider. I can date whomever I like, or no one at all.
But there are plenty of advantages to being married and having children, too. I may have said this before, but I cannot imagine someone committing to spend the rest of her life with me, as my partner, as one. Think about that. Far as I know, we only have one life here on Earth. And out of the millions and billions of people in the world, he/she chose you to spend their one life with. That is amazing. And children. How could children not be considered a blessing. I imagine that having children, someone being born into this world who is a part of you, someone who depends on you for their very survival, safety, and well-being, watching them grow and live and learn, would be... awesome beyond words. And I have always said that if I'm never married, that I want to adopt a child someday.
I do wonder sometimes if I'll ever get married. I mean, when my parents were my age, they had two kids and had been married for 11 years! That's just freaky to think about. Not to mention, my clock is ticking ladies! I mean, come on, sure Kenny Rogers had kids at 60, but just because The Gambler can do it doesn't necessarily mean I can. Then it seems like society has the idea that you have to get married. And I hate that. It doesn't bother me. But I've had female friends especially, wonderful girls, tell me they feel pressure if they're not married by a certain age. And that shouldn't be. At all. Then my mind returns to those I know who are unhappily married. So, be careful what you wish for. Boy, I'm just a walking cliche today.
I think the key is finding contentment. Whatever your situation. And finding happiness within yourself, with who you are. Then you'll be able to enjoy being single, or being with someone else, much more. Not that I claim to know it all. Or even very much. These are just my opinions. So for now, I really enjoy the good things about being single. Really ;-) Because I know that one day my life may be different and I won't have those anymore. I'll have new blessings. Different advantages.
I just hope that I still have time to blog ;-)
You had to be there...
(A light-hearted conversation inspired by last night's Tinkerbell trick-or-treater)
"Is Tinkerbell a boy or girl? And if he's a boy, is he gay?"
"Girl. But if it was a guy, definitely would be gay."
"Is she the one with Peter Pan?"
"She was in love with Peter Pan."
"So Peter effing Pan can get a girl and I can't?"
"No, he was in love with Wendy."
"So Peter Pan can get two girls! Great."
"No. Wendy didn't like Peter, Tink did."
"And he liked Wendy. Not Tink."
"I may blog this conversation."
"I hope that I find what I'm reaching for, the way that it is in my mind. I hope that I won't be that wrong anymore, and maybe I have learned this time. Someday I'll get over you. I'll live to see it all through. But I'll always miss dreaming my dreams with you..."