In less than 96 hours, a blogger some of you may know (Me!) will be in (hopefully) sunny Florida. Barring any unforeseen encounters with Alabama's finest, of course, tryin' to catch us ridin' dirty. Called and booked a beach house Friday. Will be leaving Thursday after work and returning Sunday night.
Uh, speaking of ridin' dirty, my sister relayed this story to me over the weekend. (Hopefully this won't hurt my ratings in the 80-99 demographic.)
A girl she used to work with was assisting an older couple who had come into the office. After a couple of minutes she began to notice an awful stench. And its ripeness was growing by the second.
It got so bad she thought it was about to make her sick. So she excused herself and went out of the office to get some fresh air. She told a co-worker about this real-life olfactory nightmare. They speculated as to what it might be.
When she came back in, the smell was all but unbearable. It was an oddly familiar scent but she couldn't quite place it. At long last, the couple left.
That's when she saw it. A big wet spot in the chair where the man had been sitting.
No. It couldn't be... Could it? He couldn't have... Could he?
And all at once she recognized the scent. Urine. He could, would, and did.
She didn't know what to do. She went out to tell the manager what had happened and saw the man walking out the door, big wet spot on the back of his pants, confirming any remaining doubts she may have had.
So, bladder control problems: Sad or humorous? I guess it all Depends on which side of the stain you're sitting on.
Either way, looks like I may have to re-work my rules of public urination.
We close with some Seinfeld dialogue, from "The Couch":
Jerry: Is it...? Could it...? Could he have...? It is!! Poppie peed on my sofa!
Kramer: Are you sure?
Jerry: Well, what is it then? My new sofa! Poppie peed on my new sofa!
Kramer: I'm sure it'll come out.
Jerry: I don't care if it comes out! I can't sit on that anymore!
Kramer: Ah, you're making too much of it.
Jerry: Yeah, you're right. It's just a natural human function. Happens to be on my sofa, instead of in the toilet, where it would normally be.
"They see me rollin'. They hatin'. Patrollin' and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty..."