I got a new next-door neighbor about, uh, two or five months ago. He seems to work odd hours. I've only seen him two or three times since he moved in and we've never said more than "hi" a time or two.
The other night I had gone to Taco Bell. I don't think he was home when I left. Sat in the Taco Bell line for about twenty minutes. Seriously thought about calling the 1-800 "how did we do" number. But then the drive thru worker said, "Sorry for your wait." Somehow that eased my frustrations.
I feel I have a good rapport with the fast food industry. I've known drive-thru workers. I've been a drive-thru worker. OK, so I haven't been one. But I've known some. Remember, fast food workers can spit in your food at anytime. I always try to keep that in mind. And not give them any extra incentive to do so. But now we're a bit off topic.
When I got home, the neighbor's truck was there and the driver's door was wide open. I tried inconspicuously looking in the cab to see if he was leaned over dead or something. But I didn't see him, and there were no signs of a struggle.
I figured maybe he'd just gotten home and was planning to come right back outside to get something else out of the truck. So I decided to go in and eat and see if it was still open when I got done.
It was about 10:00 or so by the time I got done and looked out the window. Door still open. No sign of neighbor. So now I figure I have to tell him.
But what if he thinks I did it? Plus, I'd been home at least thirty minutes already. He'll wonder why I didn't tell him when I first got home. Why had I waited? What had I been doing this whole time? All these things scenarios begin running thru my head and I don't know what to do.
Then it crosses my mind maybe I should just shut it myself. I could shut the door. No one would ever know about this little incident. But what if he hears me? What if he looks out and sees me walking back to my house? How would that look. Or what if the complex has security cameras?
And what if someone has already stolen something out of his truck? My fingerprints would be all over that door. How did this get to be the crime of the century? I was only trying to be a good neighbor.
Or maybe he meant to leave it open. Maybe the lock is broken and if I shut it he'd be locked out. Maybe I should just not say anything. Maybe no one heard or saw me come home. I could say I'd been home all night and I hadn't seen the open door. No! I can't lie. Stop it, Bone. You're overthinking again.
I peek thru the mini-blinds one more time, hoping against hope that my eyes have betrayed me and that the door has been closed all along. No dice.
I decide to ring his doorbell and hope for the best. It takes him a minute to come to the door. I hear him turning the lock. This is it.
He appears sleepy-eyed and wearing green scrubs. I deduce he must work at a hospital. He shook my hand. About the time I got out, "Hey, I just came home from Taco Bell and noticed your truck door was open..." he had already seen it. And was walking towards it mouthing, "What the..."
He said something about how absent-minded it was. That it had been a long day at work. And thanks for telling him. And had I seen the dead body in the back.
I assured him I had not. And quickly retreated to my locked, safe abode. Another near-disaster averted.
"Turning back, she just laughs. The boulevard is not that bad..."