Thursday, October 20, 2005

Stops you in your tracks...

She called last night. I was gone. She left a message. She was at her parents'. I called her back when I got home.

Said she had a feeling something wasn't OK with me. May have had a dream or something. We talked for about an hour and a half. Until her phone died around midnight.

She's not dating anyone. I felt relieved. Why?

Turns out she knows my masseuse. They used to work together in the mall years ago. I knew she looked familiar.

I told her about the blog. Who knows if she'll ever visit. Not a big internet person. I actually read her a couple of the entries about her. Said she was going to cry.

It had been over a year since we'd talked. It was good to catch up. Always is. I'm glad and thankful we're still friends.

Neither of us can believe it's been six years. Nor do either of us know where that time has gone. Anyhow, that's all in the past. We're both different people now. I tell myself. Makes things easier.

She's been burned. It would take something amazing to cause her to ever open her heart again...

"I don't know how I'll get her off my mind, but give me time, and I'll think of something. I can't say today that I'm alright, but by tonight, I'll think of something..."


  1. It's amazing how one phone call can turn everything inside out. Those kinds of calls have the ability to totally throw me off track to the point where I can barely stop thinking about it. I've said this so many times before...I'm moving to a deserted island. I wish I had six years of separation between me and my "phone calls."

  2. Are you trying to tell us - or yourself - that you're different people now?

    Just wondering.

    I want you to be happy....

    I hope you are well.

  3. Carnealian: Six years of separation!!! That's what I should've titled this post. Love it!

    Cindy: Probably both. Harder to convince myself sometimes. Thanks. I'm happy. And well. I have learned (finally) not to let the past and what was interfere with the present and what is or could be :-)

  4. Makes my heart hurt for you when I read the posts about "her"

  5. Oh, that's sweet and incredibly sad. :( Maybe I'm hopelessly un-romantic, but I always find it's as important to remind myself of the bad things as it is to revel in the good after a relationship has ended. Maybe I'm a bad blog-reader, but I haven't heard you say why it ended (not that it's necessarily our business). I don't want to fuck your Buddha Zone, though, because the memories you have of her are really beautiful and it's great that you can still appreciate them so much. The important thing is just not to revel in former glory in order to torture yourself.

  6. it so difficult to move past something you do not want to leave.


  7. Brunette: Don't be sad. I'm not :-)

    Sarah: Not sure if I've said why it ended. I'll have to look back and see. I'm just the opposite usually. I tend to gloss over the bad memories and only remember the good. There are a couple of exceptions.

    Crys: Yes, it is. It seems simple, but the first step to getting over someone is wanting to get over them.