Saturday, September 17, 2005

Baby Jesus Dog

The funniest things in life, the absolute funniest, are things that really happen. Not stories or jokes made up by creative people. The following happened to a friend of mine. I encouraged her to blog it, then told her that if she didn't, I would. She said that I could. Some things just have to be blogged...

Tiffany, my friend, began selling items on eBay several months ago. Just various items, nothing in particular. More than once, she has told me, "You can make money on eBay." She would make a good spokesperson for them. Not that they need one.

Anyhow, a week or two ago, Tiffany's Mom came across this antique wooden nativity scene in storage, which had belonged to her grandmother. I never saw it, but they were expecting it to bring as much as $200, so you can imagine that it was a rather nice display. They cleaned it up and were planning to put it up for auction.

Well, her Mom went out of town for a couple of days this week. So Tiffany is sitting there eating one night while her Mom is gone, when she hears what she desribed to me as a "loud, crunching noise" coming from another room. Fearing the worst, and not ever knowing what to expect with a mischievous, fun-loving Dalmatian around the house, she runs down the hall towards the noise.

Upon entering the room, she finds that her beloved dog has, ummm, discovered the miracle of Christmas, if you will. He looks up at her, as only a dog doing something he isn't supposed to be doing can, with the baby Jesus clinched tightly between his teeth. Springing to action, she manages to pry the Savior of all mankind from the jowls of the canine just in the nick of time. Standing there holding a drool-covered figure of Jesus, she is relieved for an instant, thinking she has managed to salvage the precious antique. It is about this time when she realizes that something else is missing from the scene. The manger is nowhere to be found. Apparently, it had only served as an appetizer to the Messianic main course.

She looks down at her faithful pet, who is still looking up at her with that confused tilted-head why-did-you-just-take-my-toy-away look. He has been bad. But she figures letting the devoured manger run its course in nature might be punishment enough.

So what do you think she could get for a manger-less nativity scene? Keep in mind, it was mentioned on If You Read Only One Blog This Year. That's gotta be worth something.

"Comin' outta my cage and I've been doin' just fine. Gotta gotta be down, because I want it all..."


  1. I'm constantly having to pry open my dog's jaws to extract something or other that's he's decided to eat. Most of the time, it's some sort of paper type product (like a stray envelope of something I got in the mail or a napkin). He especially loves the empty paper towel or toilet paper rolls to shred.

  2. I really like that your musical tastes are as varied as least it seems that way by your "bottom lyrics" That's what they are now, your "bottom lyrics." Glad I could name those for you ;-)

    I think it's worth more now! Who wouldn't want a Nativity scene with no manger or Jesus??!!! Now it's uni-religious!! Not sure if that's a word, but you get my meaning :-)

  3. The story will sell the nativity even better than before. Just like any piece of antique furniture, the story is worth the price of the object. When she lists the nativity, make sure she copies the story in the ad. Did you hear about the haunted cane that sold on Ebay - or the wedding dress modeled by a jilted groom? Both had stories (one funny, one sad and odd) and both went for outrageous prices.

    Funny story, Bone. I'm happy you made sure to share it. :-)

  4. Xinh: But aren't they sooo cute!

    Arlene: Are you the brunette? Yah, thanks for naming those for me :-)

    Cindy: I think you're right. People will buy the story. After all, you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle.

  5. I am the brunette, and I'm officially the Brunette again :-) I know, I'm so freakin' indecisive!!

  6. If she sells it with the story and a picture of the dog, I think she'll be able to see. Aren't animals great?!?

  7. Just when he thought his trials and tribulations probably couldn't get any worse the Son of God was eaten by a dog...

    Great story Bone...

  8. Um. Oops. Doggies do chew the things you don't want them to. I had a dog that ate a $100 pair of suede shoes once. She pooped purple for a while after that.

  9. i say don't sell it, and let the puppy have his toy back :)

  10. I had a lab that chewed too. He chewed the bottoms of the cabinets, he chewed a hole through the bottom of the back door, he also ate a tube sock once. I am just glad that my Beau is not a chewer. He is a wonderful dog and I am feeling lucky adn thankful for him all over again. I think I will go take him for a little walk. Hugs.

  11. Brunette: OK, just so I know it's you.

    Carnealian: Yep. I love animals.

    OCG: Thanks. I still think it comes out funnier when I tell it, rather than write it. But that's the best I could do.

    Lass: Ewwwwwww.

    Crys: Aww, I'm sure the puppy will appreciate your sentiments.

    JC: Yes. Be sure to spend lots of time with Beau. Dogs are great. They always seem so happy to see you, no matter how much or how little time you've spent with them.

    As always, thanks for the comments.