Friday, December 01, 2006

Man Versus Machine

I considered blogging in pig latin today, in honor of The Office last night. Ut-bay, I-ay, ecided-day, o-tay, are-spay, ou-yay...

The CD player in my car decided to stop working Saturday. After a few frustrating moments of me inserting CD's and it continaully rejecting them and displaying a "Check CD" message on the LCD, I finally surrendered. At some point, the CD player evidently must have taken on human qualities because I began speaking to it.

Later, a friend of mine noticed that the CD player was still making noises, even after I'd turned the car off. I stopped singing and listened closely, and sure enough, it sounded like it was trying to load a CD even after I had turned off the radio and removed the keys.

Well, I thought it would stop after awhile, or at least after sitting overnight. But nope. When I got in the car Sunday, the CD player was still making those same noises. And it was still showing the "Check CD" message when I started the car. I began to be concerned that this continual "running" would eventually drain my battery.

But it was fine for the next few days, so I wasn't too worried about it. I figured that I would either try and find someone who could fix my CD player. Or that I would buy a new one and install it myself. Since we all know that I have no problems doing that. Besides, the radio and cassette player still worked. So I could still listen to my Milli Vanilli, Donna Lewis, and Deep Blue Something cassettes.

Then Thursday morning when I got out to my car, (I think we all know where this is going), I pressed the unlock button on my high-tech remote keyless entry thingie. And nothing happened. It's the first time that had ever happened. What do I do?

I admit, I panicked for a few brief seconds. Then I remembered something my Dad told me. He said, "Son, when I was growing up, to get into the car, we had to stick the key into the lock and turn... in the pouring rain or a foot of snow, yada yada yada."

That's when it hit me. I held the key! Me! I was reminded of that old Eagles' song. So often times it happens, that our remote keyless entry doesn't work, and we never even know we have the key...

But I digress. I did manage to unlock the door, but then as I had feared, the car wouldn't crank. So I called my mother. Isn't that what everyone does when their car won't start? She came over and jumped me off.

Unfortunately, the CD player was still possessed. And I knew that it was going to drag the battery down again eventually. So when I got to work, I decided to take out the fuse that goes to the radio. (I thought that was pretty clever.) I listened. The CD player wasn't making any noises.

After work, my car started fine. But I left the fuse out. Driving home with the radio completely dark was eerie. And by this point, I figured I was definitely going to have to purchase a new car stereo. Because, let's face it, False Messiah can't roll without his tunes.

Then when I was leaving to go running yesterday evening, something came over me. I don't know if it was the kinship of all living things, or that voice in my head saying, "Put the fuse in." But I put the fuse back in. The "Check CD" message was gone! The CD player wasn't making noises!

And then, deciding it was now or never, I inserted a CD into the player. And waited. And hoped. For what seemed like seconds. Then I heard it. Simon Le Bon wailing, "Please please tell me now!" Yes! It worked!

It's a pre-Festivus miracle!

"I know you're watching me every minute of the day, yeah. I see the signs and the looks and the pictures that give your game away..."


  1. This is my first time here. And I have only read this one post. Festivus? Is that from Seinfeld? Because if it is it's strange or maybe you are doing this on purpose, THIS BLOG SOUNDS LIKE IT IS A BLOG ABOUT NOTHING. And it is INTERESTING! You had me sitting here reading about your CD player on the edge of my seat! Yeah my life IS boring and i'm easily amused, but even if I had an incredibly interesting life... Yeah I know i'm rambling... I'll stop now.

  2. Oh, False Messiah, you had me scared for a minute. What is a False Messiah or a Bone without Milli Vannilli?

    You have to put in pictures of your tape collection--because the play station though I prefer slut you want to wake up to--not you--doesn't believe that you really own those tapes.

    Believe this is a blog about nothing which is why I like and should win frequent commenter points

  3. If it makes you feel better, I rushed home the other day to watch my Tivo-ed General Hospital and became despondent to discover the batteries in the remote were dead.

    After rushing to the junk drawer for batteries, I found my brother had stolen the entire 24 pack.

    I had no batteries and therefore no GH.

    Until hours later I realized: There are buttons ON the DVR. Hours later.

  4. Hey, first step to Troubleshooting 101: Reboot. If that doesn't work, then you know you've got a problem.

  5. Then I remembered something my Dad told me. He said, "Son, when I was growing up, to get into the car, we had to stick the key into the lock and turn... in the pouring rain or a foot of snow, yada yada yada."

    Quite possibly the funniest thing I've read of your's yet...

    Btw, Squirrel, stick around: Bone can take the most mundane story and make you laugh like crazy. Or maybe that's just me...

  6. LOL! I spent 109:some odd minutes on the phone this morning trying to get my email account to work. Don't really know what the problem was, but he had me reset my entire computer and delete all my cookies too. Whaaaa!

    Glad the reboot worked for your radio/cd player. That sure beats spending your Christmas cash on a new one.

    And about my Christmas/Birthday gift... virtual cash? I love it!

    I giggled at Squirrel's comment above. I guess you are kinda like a Seinfeld eppisode.

    I doubt that DH would like a Festivus T-shirt...although he did ask for white t-shirts... hummmm

  7. Oh, you totally should have blogged in pig latin. Oh-ay ell-way. Next time you could do an audioblog in a high falsetto accomanied by a banjo. You could sing about hunting and frisbee tournaments and the Six Flags commercial with the old man who dances. it'll be awesome!

  8. Squirrel: Yes, Festivus is from Seinfeld originally. But now it has become much more. I celebrate each year :)

    Thanks for stopping by. Just 21 days left to get your Festivus pole.

    Pia: Hmm, perhaps I should rethink the title of my blog. A Blog About Nothing. By the False Messiah.

    I like it.

    You'll definitely be up for frequent commenter of the year at the Bonies. Thanks.

    Elizabeth: Yes, it's pretty much like that. We've had this technology for so long, we forget what to do without it.

    Lass: Well, I thought about disconnecting the battery for a few minutes. But the fuse thing worked, so I didn't have to.

    Traveling Chica: Thanks. That's because I have to. My life is mostly mundane, so I have to try and make it seem interesting :)

    Renee: Reset your computer? As in, reboot?

    That's exactly what I was thinking. Now I can spend that money on chocolate covered cherries and Danish Butter Cookies.

    I guess I am a walking Seinfeld episode. I guess that should come as no surprise.

    Lizzie: Yay!!! Someone else watched The Office last night.

    I did ask for frisbee golf discs on my Christmas list this year. Honestly.

  9. I'm thinking of developing my own Prison Mike persona to keep my kids in line.It might work!

    We had a possessed CD player too. It'd turn the volume waaaay up,then refuse to allow us to turn it down or off.
    This was in the Mustang though,a car who's windows regularly buzzed themselves down so who knows what the problem was.

    I'm glad you got it fixed. Let the merry tunes begin anew! Life without music just plain sucks.

  10. A pre-festivus miracle it was!!!

    I don't know what I would do in my car without my radio/cd player... seriously, that's where I do my singing!

    oh, who am I kidding... I sing anywhere, but it would really suck!

  11. I broke the CD player in my car once, and I thought I was going to die the 10 days it took the dealership to fix it!!! Driving silently by choice is one thing, but when you're forced, it's the equivalent to having bamboo shoots shoved under your finger nails!!!

  12. Well that was weird! It's a good thing you didn't go invest in a new CD player when all it needed was a good spanking. Like all False Messiah's do!

    Your mom giving you a "jump off" sounds dirty. Is that how y'all say it? Jump off? We just say "how about giving me a jump?" Which I guess also sounds dirty.

  13. Bless you for not writing all that in pig latin *hugs*

    Milli Vanilli?!? and Simon LeBon!?!? haha... I've been known to break out the Bon Jovi here and there ;) Glad your CD player is working!

  14. We're missing you over at Carmen's open house party! You can squeeze in another party before Festivus...right?

    Are you going to be able to do a virtual blog Festivus party this year? I would love to virtually attend. I guess the wrestling would be kinda hard to do though. LOL

  15. RealLael: Haha. Let me know how that Prison Mike persona works for you. I have several bandanas I can let you borrow.

    DCChick1: Do you sometimes get funny looks while singing in your car? Or is that just me?

    JustB: Well, I definitely wasn't taking it back to the dealership, after the stunt they tried to pull on me earlier this year with my AC.

    Carnealian: We say, "Will you come jump me off?"

    What do you call a car that doesn't have an automatic transmission? We say stick shift or straight shift.

    Kerry: I-ay ould-way ill-stay e-bay iting-wray.

    Yes, it was a Duran Duran CD. So many great bands either have repeat names, or names that rhyme. Duran Duran, Mister Mister, Oingo Boingo, Milli Vanilli...

    Renee: Well, I thought about participating, but the rules confused me a little :) I'm not real good yet at those virtual blog parties.

  16. Gosh, I can't remember the last time I used the key to get into my car.

    Sounds like your radio is like my computer. I always have to restart because it freezes.

  17. Hallelujah! Praise to Simon Le Bon. Inform the Catholic Church of the miracle of the CD player :-) Loved reading this as it's kind of the same thing that happens to me. At the moment my bathroom light randomly works or not works. It all adds to the spice of life and makes washing etc. more interesting at night!

    Here from Carmens so I am leaving you a gift. Hopeit works and hope you like it :-)

  18. If you think you had a moment of uncommon sense standing in beside the car, wondering how to get inside, consider this:

    At least you do not park your car with the windows rolled down partially and then lock the doors.

    I know someone who shall remain nameless *cough*my owner*cough* who does this all the freakin' time.

    Also, was that Eagles' hit off of their Greatest Hits release as a hidden track? It sounds so familiar...

  19. Bone... I'm THAT GIRL that is belting away at the intersection.... I get weird looks all the time. And I'm sure I entertain as well. It's not just you! :)

  20. Zeus, the lyrics are from Is There Something I Should Know? by Duran Duran.

    I had my CD player and radio stolen out of my car when I first got it and it was going to cost too much money to have it fixed (because the thieves practically cut open my whole dashboard to get to it) so I didn't bother. So for over 4 years now, I've suffered without a radio or CD player in my car. It makes driving around LA unbearable sometimes as there isn't ever a time when I'm not stuck in traffic. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I had a radio, my cell phone bill wouldn't be so high.

  21. MY car doesn't have a CD player! Oh the humanity...!

  22. I love you people that sing in your cars: you bring joy to my life as I laugh until I cry watching you. :)

  23. Erika: Perhaps everything should come with a CTRL+ALT+DELETE option. Thanks for stopping by.

    Bob-kat: I'm OK with most things being on the fritz. But not my CD player :)

    PS- I couldn't get the link to work. But it might just be me.

    Zeus: Yes, I believe it was a hidden track. I think it's called Already Gone '04 (The Technology Remix).

    DCChick1: Glad to meet ya. I rarely notice other people singing. Guess I'm too busy wailing away myself.

    Xinh: That really sucks. Perhaps you could invest in an mp3 player and use headphones in the car?

    Lux Lisbon: Well, if you ever decide to get one, I can install it :)

    Traveling Chica: When I see someone laughing at me, I always wonder if I should stop. Then I'm like, well, they've already seen me. May as well continue the show :)