Friday, December 15, 2006

Silver Pole

Today, December 15th, is the first-ever (as far as I know) Reveal Your Blog Crush Day, instituted by the prolific Ms. Sizzle. Click here to view the guidelines.

I am honored to have been mentioned by the lovely Mz. Circe. And to have been named Traveling Chica's 2006 Male Blog Crush! Thanks, gals. The blog love is reciprocated. You are two of my favorites, as you can probably tell from your site meters.


Last night, I thoroughly enjoyed The Office hour-long Christmas special, which I had been looking forward to way more than I should. Some quotes:

"I marked her arm."

"Permission to join the Validity Committee?"

"It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?"

"We're going to Asian Hooters."

"Bro's before ho's."

"You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone."

I've also begun to compose some songs for Festivus. Now, before you get too excited, I need to tell you that while the lyrics are mine, I kind of ripped off the tune.

Also, to add to the madness, I've included a clip of yours truly singing the Festivus song! There's no turning back now, babee! (Keep in mind I've had no formal vocal training. I'm more of, what you might call, a lyrical stylist.) But without further adieu, I present:

A Festivus song by Bone.

Silver Pole
(Words by Bone. Sing to the tune of Silver Bells, pretty much.)

all these worksheets
grievance worksheets
lined with blanks yet to fill
in the air there's a feeling of terseness
there'll be laughing
people shouting
maybe a marriage will end
and in the midst of the room, you will see

silver pole (silver pole)
silver pole (silver pole)
it's festivus in the city
tinsel free (tinsel free)
so sturdy (so sturdy)
soon it will be festivus

there'll be meatloaf
maybe pizza
at the festivus meal
after grievances aired hearts are heavy
then it's time for
feats of strength, it's
frank costanza's big scene
festivus won't be o'er till someone's pinned

('neath the...)
silver pole (silver pole)
silver pole (silver pole)
it's festivus in the city
tinsel free (tinsel free)
so sturdy (so sturdy)
soon it will be festivus

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you oughta know..."

30 comments:

  1. TESTING

    (I'll be back later to really read this blog... just wanted to see if I could actually comment...)

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG, I was going to totally email you about The Office episode if you didn't comment on it today. Wasn't it great? I think that was the best episode yet to date. I was howling when Dwight was standing on top of the building and was told to "abort the mission" and destroy the phone. The look on his face as he figured out how to destroy the phone was priceless and even better was the way he chucked it into the night sky. LMAO!

    And I laughed too when Michael "marked" that poor Asian girl's arm. Oiye.

    And the song is great. How long did it take you to write that up?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. Very impressive. Ok, you can be my 2007 blog crush.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROTFLOL! That song is great! I totally didn't expect your voice to sound like that though. And now Darly is behind me singing "Silver Pole...soon dogs will try to celebrate festivus." OMG! You're contageous!

    Darly is here to comment... She thinks what she wants to get might still be online, but shipping might be a killer.

    And I hope it doesn't blow your ego to know that you are not my blog crush.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You, visit my blog? I hadn't noticed... ;)

    Nice song, very cute, and I'm not even a - do I dare say this without getting barred from your blog?!?! - fan of the show.

    And btw, you're only allowed a disclaimer of no formal voice lessons if you have a bad singing voice, which you do not. What do you badly? You've recently added writing songs & singing them to your resume, what's next?!?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Heather in Beautiful British Columbia12/15/2006 07:41:00 PM

    Oh, I love it!!! What a voice - what lyrics, what a SONG...I want to be there for Festivus - just a fly on the wall :) you know. No wonder you are "the crush"....

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm not reading blogs but waiting for the chicken delivery guy so...

    Good singing, Bone, keep it up

    ReplyDelete
  8. OMG!
    Tell me you're going to sing that at your Festivus party!
    Tell me that there will be a Festivus video made!
    And tell me that you, my dear blog crush, shall be posting the video!

    I.Can't.Stop.Laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can't believe you really did that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. your voice, albeit your singing voice, sounds different than i thought it would.

    that episode was ripe with quotables, wasn't it? i also liked, "christmas is cancelled."

    ha! like you could CANCEL christmas! oh that michael. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Chickadee: Oh, it didn't take too long actually. That was a good ep last night. Dwight makes the show. I liked Kevin's ultra-intense version of You Oughta Know, too :)

    Brookelina: Woohoo!! Gettin' a head start on '07. Thanks for stopping by.

    Renee: Well I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I was purposely singing a little bravado-ish, especially on "sturdy trees".

    Tell Darly all she needs is to get a credit card number ;-)

    Traveling Chica: Well, we must get you assimilated to Seinfeld immediately ;-)

    And now you are making me blush. Don't forget my dating quiz results.

    Heather in BBC: Haha. Thanks. My friend just got back from a trip to Vancouver a few days ago. Brought me a cap. I think it's a hockey cap.

    Pia: Thanks. They deliver chicken there? We barely get pizza here.

    Elizabeth: I did suggest that Axl bring his guitar to Festivus, and I may very well attempt to sing with him accompanying me on guitar :)

    Naj: Really did what? Build a Festivus pole, write those lyrics, record myself singing them, or put a link to myself singing them on my blog? You're gonna have to be more specific :-)

    Ms. Sizzle: Again, not sure if that's good or bad :)

    I also liked Angela's hiding the power cord. "Oh, I may have seen it." Then she picks it out of the plant or whatever, "Would this be it?"

    By the way, congrats on the success of your first-ever Reveal Your Blog Crush Day.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can honestly say I will be humming this all day long now. I'm glad I hadn't listened to the podcast until this morning because otherwise, I would have gone to bed dreaming of silver poles and tinsel-free rooms. If that song doesn't pump someone up for Festivus, I don't know what will.

    I'm composing my grievances as we speak...

    ReplyDelete
  13. If you sing that at your Festivus party, either Kyle or Playboy (was he the one who always did the dramatic recitations on the Jeff and Kyle show?) must sing the back up part for Silver Pole. I think it would just make it all that more magical.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I like that... Bro's before Ho's. haha

    Ms Circe is a creative one.... I like her post about y'all (that's my split second Britney Spears impersonation)

    ReplyDelete
  15. You've been my blog crush. ;)

    Love your song, Bone.... it cracks me up.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thank you for taking the time to write those Office quotes. God that show is brilliantly funny. I also revealed you as my blog crush. Don't worry, I won't stalk you anymore than I already do. It just means you have a hell of a way with your words!

    Happy Holidays! xo

    ReplyDelete
  17. for some reason it didn't post my website... www.planetbaub.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. Zeus: Well, thank ya. Perhaps I should have a Festivus party on my blog. Everyone could air their grievances in the comments.

    Xinh: Yes, the Playboy usually did the dramatic recitations. Good idea.

    Kerry: Haha. Well, just as long as you don't go displaying anymore Britney characteristics ;-)

    Blondie: Aww, thanks dear. Cracks you up? I'm gonna take that as a bone-ified compliment :)

    Bob Merrick: Wow, I had no idea. Thank you. And Happy Holidays yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yeah, Bone. Just what my almost 9y/o needs...her own credit card. There's just one problem. She doesn't have a JOB to pay for it.

    I think that we'll stick to getting her a blog first. ;)

    I should have mentioned that I don't expect my voice to sound the way it does either. Ya know how our voice sounds different on tape. I hear my voice much lower than it actually is. When I hear my voice on tape, I find it annoyingly high.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Man......you must be related to Bruce Campbell.

    Just to let you know, "Silver Pole" will be on my Anti-Christmas CD for next year. :)

    I didn't put you down as my blog crush....not that there's anything wrong with that.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh.My.Gawd. That was brilliant. You are brilliant. If I could have a blog-crush, you would most certainly be it!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Actually, I had forgotten until now...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Renee: Oh, I thought she was like twelve. We'll give her a few years, then she'll start asking for your credit card :)

    I love it when George says, "I hate my voice on tape. It always sounds so high and whiny."

    Big Man: Not at all. Besides, I somewhat privately consider you my unwitting blog bodyguard.

    Lass: You're not allowed??? Did you read the rules? It doesn't have to be sexual. It can just be someone you enjoy reading :)

    Chica: Oh... well, uh, nevermind then ;-) Forget I said anything.

    ReplyDelete
  24. No, no, no. You've reminded me now...

    ReplyDelete
  25. Well, then you are most certainly my 2006 Male Blog Crush of the year! And retroactive 2005 Male Blog Crush of the year too! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Traveling Chica: Reminded you of what? (See how easy that was.)

    InterstellarLass: Woohoo! Wow, retroactive. That means I was a blog crush before Blog Crush Day was even conceived. Booyah!

    Heather B: Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your dating quiz results.

    I thought the point was to make me forget, not you...?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Check it out! Festivus makes news! http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16314291/

    ReplyDelete
  29. That is a Perfectly festive festivus pole!
    haha

    ReplyDelete