Thursday, March 02, 2006

My momma told me so

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

When I was little, my mother had me convinced that she was fourteen years old. And I believed her. And would argue vehemently with uncles, aunts, and anyone else who tried to tell me different. Here I was like nine years old. Fully convinced that my Mommy, the woman who bore me, was five years my elder. Several years passed without it ever occurring to me that she wasn't ever getting any older. At some point, probably around the time I was ten or eleven, my knowledge of the world caught up with my mad 'rithmetic skills. And a bit of childhood innocence was lost.

Mom told me other things I believed, too. Apparently.

Today, Mom was asked to come and read a book to a group elementary school students, as part of Read Across America Day. She read Horton Hatches The Egg. While there, she ran into a longtime friend, who is secretary at the school. My Mom's friend, we'll call her Bev, relayed this story to Mom about a young Bone. Mom then relayed said story to me.

When I was three, we started to a new church. Bev was my teacher. My first day in class she was going around the room, pointing out pictures of Bible characters, and asking each kid to name them. When it was my turn, she pointed to a picture of Jesus walking on the water.

"Bone, do you know who this is?"
"Bear Bryant," I replied confidenty and without hesitation.
Well, along with being a little confused, she said she never liked to tell her kids they were wrong. So she tried again.
"Here, look again. Now who is this man walking on the water?"
"That's Bear Bryant. My momma said he's the only person who can walk on water."

That helps to explains so much. And yet another piece of the puzzle falls into place. Happy Thursday!

"From Carolina down to Georgia, smell the jasmine and magnolia. Sleepy sweet home Alabama, roll Tide roll..."


  1. This is an awesome story Bone... I LOVE it!!! I can't wait to have kids to fill their brains with my truths...

  2. Hilarious! Kids are so funny with what they remember and how they interpret. Can make for some funny situations!

  3. Haha - too right, Bone! And the fact is, there are many "grown-ups" in Alabama that still believe that story.

    I got chills reading the Howell Raines quote.

    Roll Tide!!

  4. That's the cutest story! Your mamma was a die hard Bear Bryant fan!

    I know my friends child Sophie will probably have answers similar to yours. We fill her head with all sorts of stuff!

  5. My son was telling his grandparents about great Americans. I was half listening, half just loving the conversationalism of my child when he blurts out "Sixty-five Toss Power Trap...It'll break it wide open boys"

    This same child asked his grandparents for a Buck Owens or Johnny Cash CD.

    Spittin' image of his father, and when the day is done his mom is still his biggest fan.

  6. I'm reading this and picturing little Bone with a southern accent saying "Roll Tide!". Cute story.

  7. OCG: I'm not sure whether to be scared, or excited at the thought of you as a mi... er, soccer mom.

    Lass: Yeah, and since I can't blog about the cute things my own kids say. For obvious reasons.

    Tenacious Tide Fan: Yep. My Mom is one of them. I went back and re-read that quote when I read your comment. I got chills as well. Again.

    Carnealian: Oh yeah. Growing up, I honestly thought I'd be homeless if I ever decided I didn't want to be a Bama fan.

    SurrenderD: That's cute. The thing is, I had never been told this story before today. What other great blog material are these people withholding!

    HB: I actually thought of including a pic of little Bone in this post. But I don't have any on my computer.

  8. Funny how much trust we put in our parents. I'm still totally naive when it comes to things they tell me. Even at 25, I still believe the most unbelievable crap.

    Bear Bryant could walk on water.
    I think the houndstooth hat gave him his special powers.

    You DO realize that in Arkansas we don't play the ". . . Alabama, roll tide roll . . " part of that song?? :) It has been re-done and says "Arkansas, go hogs go."

    (But since you guys beat Auburn last night - - ROLL TIDE!)

  9. Wanted a cute little Bone picture also

    Had no idea how old my mom was until she left out her passport once when I was 14

    Knew my dad's age, knew that I was adopted and when my parents had been married. Never thought to put it together.

    They told me she had been a child bride; they also told me that lying about your age is one of the two acceptable lies.

    I was 14 and kind of smart; but had never figured this out. When my sister would ask me wouldn't say anything

    She, who was really good, at math learned the same way I did when she was 14. Didn't mention it to me for years.

    Guess we really do believe anything our parents tell us, or don't.

  10. Cute story! I'm totally with Heather on the image it's put in my head. :-)

    Not in quite the same vein, but my parents quit sugar coating things around the time I was 4 (

  11. Meghan: "Bear Bryant could walk on water."

    Um, you're welcome here forever :)

    I had no idea about the song. Of course, I've only been to Arkansas once I think. When I was like five.

    Pia: Um, what is the other acceptable lie? Or should I already know?

    Xinh: That's a really good story, Xinh. I wonder if everyone's parents told them the watermelon seed thing. Mine did.

  12. Bone- your momma sounds like she comes from good people... Even a die hard Vol fan, and proud UT graduate, like myself has appreciation and respect for Bear Bryant... There will never be another coach like him... Did you see "Junction Boys" ?? Man, he was tough on those poor boys...

    But it wouldn't be right for me to say Roll Tide, it just doesn't show any kind of loyalty to my alma mater, so....


  13. Your mom rocks! hehhheee
    I think she and I are from the same mold.
    My kids tell everyone I'm 24 and they both really think we are part of Bear Bryant's family because my maiden name is Bryant.... it has nothing to do with the fact I told them that or tell anything that.
    Roll Tide Roll

  14. Beachgirl: I ask that you please keep the cursing to a minimum in the comments ;-) Actually, I'll make you a deal. As long as we beat you in football and basketball again, you can come on and sing Rocky Top anytime :-P

    Sherry: Yeah, I'm sure you'd never perpetuate that rumor ;-)

    Roll Tide!

  15. I'm going to have to back up beachgirl. Born and raised in Knoxville, my blood runneth orange. :)

  16. I don't know how I missed this the first time, maybe I wasn't yet reading you, but I'm glad you linked to it. Another good story.