Sunday, March 19, 2006

My inner hairy man

Remember the Cheers episode where Frasier convinces the guys to go on a cross-country road trip in order to get in touch with their inner hairy man? Well, if you don't, this post probably isn't gonna work for you. I'm kidding. Sort of. The inner hairy man is defined as the primal beast that lurks inside all males. Lately, I've been letting mine out. Literally, if not figuratively.

I've been letting my facial hair grow. Haven't shaved since Thursday. First because of the Alabama NCAA tournament pact. Then Bama lost Saturday night. So I was allowed to shave. But I decided I kinda like not shaving. It saves time in the morning. Saves money, since razor blades are now like $10 for a pack of four. Razors are very rare here in America. Apparently. And, I actually like the way it looks thusfar.

It is different, however. I've never not been clean shaven. Except for the infamous Goatee Experiment of 1998. (Or Goatee Disaster, depending on who you talk to, her or me.) That lasted about two months. Tonight, I was eating at one of our "regular" restaurants and the female bartender complimented my newfound roughage. So you know what that means. Goodbye Mach3. Hello scruffy new look?

Never fear ladies. I'm sure that shortly I'll be back to my clean-shaven taut pre-teen Swedish boy image. But for now, I have to do this. It's part of being a man. Who knows, maybe I'll venture out into the wilderness and camp out under the stars this weekend. Or put a new set of plug wires on the car. More likely though, these seedlings you see on my face will be the extent of my search for my inner primal beast.

To wit, I did something this afternoon I bet none of you have ever done. At least not in the past fifteen years. I took a Milli Vanilli cassette out of the tape player in my car and replaced it with a New Kids On The Block cassette. The key factor in buying my car was that it had both a CD and cassette player. And the cassette player is one of those high-tech ones that will seek for the beginning of the next song. I just hope no one who passes me in the car can read lips.

Hmm. If I do go camping, maybe I can take a cassette player. That's still roughing it! It's not like I'm bringing an iPod.

Yes, this hairy man thing is definitely more cosmetic than internal so far.

"I got rice cookin' in the microwave. Got a three-day beard I don't plan to shave. And it's a goofy thing but I just gotta say. Hey I'm doin' alright..."


  1. Nothing like some whisker burn exfoliation for a ladies face... but it might be better than some flashback early 90s cassettes...

    oh oh oh oh-oh, oh oh oh oh... the right stuff...

    This will now be stuck in my head.. great...

  2. Ah yes. The inner hairy man. Nick has to have his Van Dyke to a specific length or it's too rough. But when it's's oh so good. :D

    Now really, we must talk about those cassettes. There's really no excuse. Any truly hetro man wouldn't be caught dead with those! *Starting to wonder...*

  3. Um, we're gonna need to see pics to be able to fully make an educated decision on your hairy man image. Yea, OC is right, facial hair can do a number on a girls face....or elsewhere but I won't go into that.

    You've got to stop listening to that music in public.

  4. Okay, I guess I'm just a weird kid . . .
    But I like scruffiness.
    In fact, my best guy friend in college used to let himself grow some scruffiness just for me, then pin me down and scratch me on the neck and face with it.
    Um hm, probably things I should have kept to myself.
    It didn't SEEM that weird until I just re-read it.

    As for the music, GOOD FOR YOU!!!
    Nothing wrong with obscenely bad taste in music, I suffer a little of that myself - every now and again.
    **fighting herself not to quote "Popsicle"**

  5. OCG: Amazing what you can do with some pre-pubescent boys and a synthesizer.

    And if the whisker burn becomes a problem, I'll adjust.

    Lass: I guess you wouldn't be interested to know that I was dancing to Milli Vanilli while driving then.

    Carnealian: Again, if it becomes a problem, let me know. I'm not married to it.

    Meghan: Yeah, um, that was a little bit TMI, Megs. As for "Popsicle," don't fight it.

    "You're my popsicle, from the very first time I met you girl, you captured me..."

  6. For the sake of the experiment in testosterone, I'll side with you on the scruffy look. But I love my clean-shaven husband. The razer burn just doesn't work for me, he'd get "the tap".

    The eighties music I'd never own is one of the reasons I love SIRIUS radio. The all 80's station is perfect for those roadtrips down amnesia lane. After our westward trek last week, I caught my son, the Chairman, singing "Lovin' Every Minute of It" while waiting for the car to warm up. In his 9ish charm, he even hit the high-pitched, "AH AA AH AA"

    Woe, Wo oh, Woooo, oo, Woe.

    You need to visit my brother in law over at Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I think you are kindred spirits indeed. www.

  7. Hey Lass- At least it wasn't the collected works of Bette Middler. Then we might have an argument for questioning our dear friend **Not that there's anything wrong with that**

  8. Ha! Tap into that inner hairy man, but I'd have to advise against being one with wilderness in Alabama. Can you say Deliverance? :)

    As for the cassette tapes, you're on your own. All my old cassette tapes are Run DMC, Doug E Fresh and the Get Fresh Crew, Fat Boys, etc.

  9. Considering the fact that I want to put Gregory House in my pocket and carry him with me all day, just so he can come out with snarky comments for asshats whenever necessary; I must say, embrace the scruffy look.

  10. Dorothy: The tap! Hilarious. I gotta quote now:

    "I don't know. Last time I got the tap."
    "You got the tap?"
    "You know, you're going along. You think everything's alright. And all of a sudden you get that tap. And it's like, alright, that's enough, you're through."
    "The tap is tough."
    "It's like the manager coming out to the mound and asking you for the ball."

    No Bette Midler. I did have a Celine Dion CD at one time, but I won't mention that here.

    Big Man: That's funny. We say the same thing about the Tennessee hills. Stay in the cities and you're fine. Get off amongst the hill people... scary.

    Doug E Fresh and The Get Fresh Crew! I'm feelin' ya. I also ran across my Young MC and Beastie Boys cassettes.

    Heather: Will do. And I'll work on the snark.

  11. I am such a lucky girl! DH had a mustache before we met and had decided to cut it off. So I met him with a clean face. He showed me his picture w/ said stache and I decided that I liked him better w/o it. Looked a little too much like Hitler for me.
    Then he was away for 3 months and decided to grow it back...and returned with the stache. I gave it a day, I didn't like it and he shaved it off and hasn't tried to grow it back, although he thought about it for his last trip. I think that he prefers shaving it off to keeping it trimmed up propperly anyway...or he just likes to keep me happy. :D

    As for your music...hummmm It's questionable **Not that there's anything wrong with that**

    Blogger is taking a long time to give me the link that I want here...fefyfomanna: Monday Memories: Super Bowl half-time show

  12. Did I mention Slap-Happy (WTF's signature) is also from Alabama?

  13. I was singing a Milli Vanilli song this morning in the car, a capella. My first two concerts were NKOTB. I'm not necessarily proud of either of these facts (I frequently use the latter as proof that I have no secrets), but I will join you in nerddom.

  14. I usually take the ol' radio/cassette player with us camping. Battery powered. I'm not so sure about the New Kids on the Block part though. That could just offset everything you've worked the last few days to achieve.

  15. So THAT's where I got that Celine Dion CD!! Do you want it back?

  16. Renee: I don't think I could have just a 'stache. Most guys who do remind me of a 1970's porn star.

    Dorothy: No. What is that? Reminds me of Slappy White, the name Jerry told his parentsat Bally's.

    Lisa: Exactly! I'm not proud either, but why hide it :)

    Tenacious Tentmaker: I'll take that under consideration.

    Groovy: I have no idea what you're talking about. But I would imagine if someone had misplaced their Celine Dion CD, they would be quite distraught, and very happy to get it back ;-)

    PS: Nice GH recap today. The Sonny/Jason storyline is about to take off and keep the show interesting for awhile.

  17. Hunny, you know women love that scruffy look on men.

    I used to have this friend... he was clean shaved 99.9% of the time. But once in awhile, he'd get an itch to do something different. He's only shower a few times a week... didn't shave... wore grungy clothes and beanies or ball caps. Just really let himself go for a few weeks. AND WOMEN LOVED HIM!!!! They FLOCKED to him.

    I mean, he got tons of girls when he was clean cut... but that grunge look just turns women on for some reason...

  18. Well it's a GREAT day to be alive. Now we already know that we have the same musical tastes (or lack thereof) so I won't comment on the cassettes because I own both of them (as well as an entire bedroom set of New Kids, the Barbie dolls, and life -sized posters). I would caution you not to do what the rest of that song says and "Might even grow me a Fu Man Chu" because that is, well, wrong. But I must agree, men with scruff are seriously hot...maybe that's why I'm marrying a man that shaves all his hair off weekly?!? Hmmm may want to reconsider that.

  19. I need a visual of this!

  20. We bought one of those hand crank radios for camping, not too bad, but then you don't get the selection you want! Like some Color Me Badd (oops, that's my guilty tape).

  21. Now see...I'm mixed on the facial hair thing.
    Sometimes (I can't say when) it isn't a bad thing.

  22. Blondie: I didn't know that. But I do now. It's really an amazing thing. I'll need to overanalyze this and figure out why it is.

    Audra: We do have very similar music tastes :) And no worries. No fu man chu. Never! That is wrong.

    Lindsy: I'll see what I can do. What's your email address again? I forgot O:)

    Mappy: Ooo, Color Me Badd. I had that tape, too. I always liked "All 4 Love."

    Sherry: You can't say when? Tell me later :)

  23. I prefer the 16 year old smooth look. Although some guys can pull off the scruffy sexy I eat dirt for breakfast look. But even when it looks good, it never feels good.

    What is it with razor blades anyway? They are never on the shelf or you have ot ask for them from behind a counter. Sudafed and razor blades.... what ever.

  24. Liz: Really? We have blades on the shelf here.

    Saw a poll on CMT tonight during some video. 55% of women preferred some facial hair. But one girl they interviewed said exactly what you said, it never feels good :)