Kramer: "You see, I come up with these things. I know they're gold. But nothing happens. You know why?"
Jerry: "No resources, no skill, no talent, no ability, no brains..."
Kramer: "No. No time! It's all these menial tasks. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Coming in here talking to you. Do you have any idea how much time I waste in this apartment?"
Jerry: "I could ballpark it."
Had what I think is the worst migraine I've ever had yesterday. My entire left hand went numb for a few minutes. I've never had numbness with a migraine. Just blind spots, headache, and sometimes queasiness. Anyway, it made me wonder if my fingers being numb for the last week could have been a part of it. Anyone know?
Played cards and shot pool last night. (With real people. Not virtually. It's sad I feel the need to clarify.) Realized that I prefer hanging out with small groups of friends to large groups and bright lights. Anyway, I lost at poker. Won at spades. Won at pool. I think you know where I'm going with this... two out of three ain't bad :)
Picked up a clue about the cute blonde who works at the coffee shop this morning. She has a parking pass for the local high school on her rear-view mirror. So, recapping for those who got here late. She only works on Saturdays. And she has a high school parking pass. That's what we know. Now from that, using my Sherlock Holmes-like powers of deduction, I have determined that can only mean one thing. She must be a high school teacher. Sweet!
At this moment, I am sitting here at work. Famished. (Pronounced fuh-meesht' in some areas of central Tennessee.) And I will stay that way until I get off. Do you know why? Because the only thing you can get delivered in this town is pizza. Now don't get me wrong, Bone likes pizza. But Bone doesn't want pizza all the time. Sometimes Bone wants Chinese. Bone likes lo mein. But even the Chinese place here doesn't deliver. What Chinese place doesn't deliver! Isn't that like a rule to get your charter? I don't mind going out to get something. But fast food gets old. And, as a bachelor, my cupboard is not always filled with tempting gustatory delights. That brings me to the entire point of this post. A couple of my entreprenurial ideas. Things I've had in the hopper for awhile.
My first idea is a food delivery service. For a small (or not-so-small) fee, we will order, pick up, and deliver a hot, savory meal to your door. You would be able to choose from a wide variety of local restaurants. It would be a bit more costly than going to get it yourself. But the entire concept is based on one simple theory. People are generally lazy. And most will pick convenience over thriftiness.
Idea number two is Bone's Hetero Haberdashery.* The world's first clothing store especially for hetero guys. (Although Sears has some pretty good stuff.) Upon entering, each male will be assisted by an attractive female. This Hetero Outfit and Raiment Expert will accompany him around the store, offering suggestions and advice on purchases. She'll ask questions like, "Do you have any slightly flared jeans in like a dark dioxide wash, slightly crinkled at the hips? Those would really look good with this shirt." This way, all guys could be well-dressed. And it would be achieved in only the most hetero of ways.
Think of it as sort of the Hooters of men's clothing.
I can see it now. The Hetero Haberdashery Hotties 16-month calendar. Oh this is gonna be big!
* - © 2006 Kramerica Industries. A tiny little division of Sosyampum Hearts. All rights reserved. (Anyone know how to make that little "tm" trademark thingy?)
"I can see a new horizon, underneath the blazing sky. I'll be where the eagle's flyin' higher and higher..."