Thursday, April 14, 2005

"Are you the guy that sings?"

While this may come as a surprise to some of you, or none of you, I don't get asked that question very often. Actually, I think yesterday was the first time I have ever been asked that question. Allow me to elucidate, if you will. I had to stop by the accountant's yesterday to pick up some final tax papers. The receptionist asked my name, and when I told her, this conversation ensued:

Her: "Oh, are you the guy that sings?"
Me: "Uh... no, I don't think so."
Her: "You're not the one with the singing message on your answering machine?"
Me: "Oh! Yes. That's me."
Another lady has come into the office by this time and hears us and says, "We called back just to hear it again."

For those who don't know me, I am sure further explanation is needed. My answering machine message is me singing the same message that George has on his machine in "The Susie" episode of Seinfeld. It's to the tune of the Greatest American Hero theme. If you'd like to hear it sometime, email me, I'll send you my home number and you can call and I won't answer :-)

Among the random messages I've gotten over the years are these:
"I actually dialed the wrong number, but I just wanted to let you know that is the funniest message I've ever heard."

"It's been like eleven years. Let it go."

What does this number signify?
A) Days since I last had a date
B) My apartment number
C) Number of visitors to my blog yesterday
D) My weight
E) Number of times I voted for Jessica her last week on American Idol

While any of those would have been good guesses, the correct answer, I'm sad to say, is D. One hundred ninety-one freakin' pounds!!! That's only 9 away from 200! I gotta lose some weight. Maybe I could go on Oprah and have Richard Simmons come and help me. On a related note, I am planning to start back running this afternoon after work. It'll be my first time to run in several weeks, since hurting my knee and then being sick.

Speaking of being sick, I finally went to the doctor Monday. He said I had a combination sinus infection/bronchitis, what I like to call Bronsinus. So he gave me some antibiotic and cough syrup (with hydrocodone). The nurse was telling me, "Now this cough medicine he has given you contains hydrocodone, so it might make you sleepy." I was thinking, "Oh, don't worry. I'm well-familiar with hydrocodone." I like to refer to it as Hi-C.

Did anyone else notice that my bottom three matched up exactly to America's votes this week on American Idol? That'll never happen again. Boy, was I nervous when it came down to Bo and Nadia. Who's next? I think Scott.

"That's not the beginning of the end. That's the return to yourself, the return to innocence..."


  1. Bone, (keyword: Bone)

    Get OVER it!!! You are in NO WAY fat. You are a tall guy who weighs UNDER 200 lbs. That is not fat!

    (And if ya wanna lose a few lbs you could always stay away from all those hot waitresses your always talking about.)

  2. I think you and Tiffany need to date.

    Yes, you are fat. 191 lbs. is too much for a 31 year old male who is under 6' tall. You need help. You could run with me. I am also fat at 191 lbs. But I'm 6' tall, so there!

    It looks like you're on a roll again. The post about the answering machine is great and I love the random messages. I still can't believe you haven't changed it in all these years. I mean, this goes back to the first girlfriend days. You should also make your cell phone message the same. You need some consistency in your life for crying out loud.

  3. I think I'm about 6'1". And I'm 32. Yes, I've had the same answering machine message for probably six or seven years, at least. Another thing is, for some reason, my current machine freezes up every month or so. I have to unplug it and re-record the song all over again.

  4. Hey chubby!

    I liked your calling hydrocodone "Hi-C". Funny stuff.