Saturday, April 16, 2005

Are those keys in your pants, or...

Thursday night, I lost my keys. I mean, seriouslah, for like thirty minutes. I was going to run to Taco Bell and pick up a bite to eat around 9:30, but I couldn't find my keys. My spare truck key stays in my truck, which makes a lot of sense. It's on the same keyring with all my work keys, and I keep them in there so I won't forget them when I come to work. Anyway, I looked everywhere they could possibly be, twice. Well, except for the mysterious tuppeware container in the fridge. I don't dare open that thing. Yikes! I was honestly starting to think that I wasn't going to be able to go to work Friday morning, because I couldn't find my keys. Finally, around 10:00, I found them. Care to put forth a guesstimate as to where they were? They were in my pocket... my BACK pocket. Why did I put them there? I'm really not sure. Why didn't I check there already? Well, because I think that is probably the first time in my entire life that I have ever put keys in my back pocket. Not only that, but I had already put my wallet in the same pocket, so they keys were in the bottom of my back pocket, under my wallet. Maybe I should get a European carry-all.

Things in my wallet
While weighing the pros and cons of getting a carry-all, I decided to make a list of things in my wallet at this very moment:
$71 cash
driver's license
social security card
an "in case of emergency" card (which is blank)
pocket calendar from my auto insurance agent, with years 2002-2004
piece of paper with remote dial-up number and passcode for work
check card
expired check card
politician's card
2 Applebee's lunch-a-bunch cards
10 check card receipts
check book & transaction register
Blockbuster Video membership card
expired Books-a-million discount card
Movie Gallery membership card
Zales gold card
2 Wal-Mart/Sam's Club cards (total remaining balance=$10.37)
2 Shell gift cards (total remaining balance=$101.53)
Blue Cross/Blue Shield membership card
2 State Farm auto insurance cards
5 Look Mom Video business cards
post-it note with my sister's address
1 Visa platinum credit card (you charge enough stuff, they'll make you gold, platinum, whatever)

Wow, that really seems like a lot once you list it like that. I think my wallet could win an award for the most efficient use of space. Guess I need to clean out some of this junk. Hang on a sec... OK, the check card receipts are gone. There, that's much better. Hmm, I thought I used to have a Band-aid in there.

"I'm sorry but I'm just thinkin' of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. But if you wait around awhile, I'll make you fall for me. I promise you..."


  1. As Jerry would say "You have more cow here, than you do here!"

    (Comparing Georges wallet to his 1/2 pound hamburger.)

  2. Haha. I need everything in there.

    "Show this card at any participating Orlando-area Exxon station to get your free Save the Tiger poster."