In the town where I was raised, a quiet two-lane road leads away from the town square on the west side. Within two blocks, what few businesses there are give way to houses. The asphalt is faded now so that its much nearer to white than its original black. Small houses dot each side of the road all the way out to the four-lane. About the only exception is the local park, whose ball fields come to life in the springtime with t-ball, baseball, softball, and soccer games and practices.
Almost unnoticed now, if not forgotten, is an old abandoned white concrete building which sits on the left side of the road just before you reach the park entrance. For the first two-thirds of my life, that was Miss Nona's store.
Miss Nona was a rather short older lady who, best I can remember, always had a tall bouffant-like hairdo, and almost always had a smile on her face. There were two gas pumps in front of the store, and as long as she was able, she'd come out and offer to pump your gas. The inside featured an old-fashioned top-opening drink cooler. You'd slide the door open, reach down inside and pull out your favorite soft drink, in a glass bottle. There was a bottle opener built into the side of the cooler. Some of my earliest memories of the little country store are of running across the field after baseball practice and buying a Gatorade. Or before practice to buy some Big League Chew.
Miss Nona lived in a house right next to the store, and would open up for business before daylight. She ran the store all by herself the majority of the time. She was there open to close. For many years, she sold biscuits in the mornings. And around lunch, she would slice up stick bologna and hoop cheese and make sandwiches. It seems like she was always busy doing something around the store. If there were no customers to tend to, she might be sweeping up, inside or out. Or stocking the shelves. I asked her for a job once when I turned 16, but she said she couldn't afford to hire any help.
I recall my Dad telling me about the time some man tried to rob her. I don't remember all of the details now. I remember it happened early one morning when no other customers were there. Short story shorter. She kept a shotgun under the counter. Fired a warning shot or two. And no one ever tried to rob the store again. I love that story.
Seems like my parents had always known Miss Nona. Although, looking back, I guess they only knew her from the store. More than once, during somewhat hard times, I remember Miss Nona would let my Dad buy bread, milk, and anything else we needed on credit. Just to get thru until payday, when he would pay her back.
Maybe because she knew my parents, I always felt safe when I was there. I liked to think that she'd treat me like one of her own grandkids. Although she probably would've treated any young person that well.
As I got older, I'd stop by on my way to work for a snack. My usual was a honey bun and a little Coca-Cola. I remember one day not long after I started driving, I stopped by to get gas. I would never let her pump my gas. So when I was done, I went inside to pay, and came back out to discover that I had locked my keys in the car. First time that had ever happened to me, and I was a bit distressed. She, undoubtedly, had seen this situation many times. Brought a straightened wire hanger out and had my door unlocked in seconds. I don't remember if I ever thanked her for that. I hope I did.
Time gets thin. And as Miss Nona got older, she started closing the store a little earlier in the evenings. And then she stopped opening at all on Saturdays. And eventually, although I can't remember when, she closed the store for good. Miss Nona had always looked exactly the same to me, for all the years I had known her. Except for the one time that I saw her after the store closed. I had heard that she was having some health problems. And she looked twenty years older than I remembered her.
No one ever reopened the little country store. Someone put a fish market in the building for a short while. But even that's been gone for years now. When the town grew, it did so on the east side. All the new fast food restaurants, and convenience stores, the Wal-Mart Supercenter, and other businesses, opened there. The west side of town has just kind of been forgotten.
Today, little stores like that one have become scarce. Big money and chain stores eventually put the little man, and woman, out of business. They call it progress. Feels more like we lost something to me. Miss Nona is no longer here. Although I can't remember when she passed. The memories of that little country store, like the highway that runs past it, fade a little more each day.
Most of us will never achieve widespread fame. If you consider that an achievement. But to be remembered fondly by those whose paths we crossed years after we are gone. To have touched someone's life, even in a small way. That's something.
I suppose there have been thousands of little country stores in the world. Thousdands of Miss Nona's.
But to me, there will only ever be one.
"Don't you remember the fizz in a Pepper. Peanuts in a bottle, at 10, 2, and 4. A fried baloney sandwich, with mayo and tomato..."
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
A night at the Tetanus 8
I went to see Munich last night. In order to avoid any buffer zone problems, I stood at the rear of the theater waiting for my friend. Then before going to sit down, I quietly and inconspicuously said, "Skip a seat... little buffer zone." With the requisite buffer zone in place, I was able to focus on the movie. It was pretty good. And even though it must have been at least two and a half hours, it kept my interest.
The movie was at the older of the two theaters in town, often referred to as the Tetanus Cinemas, or the Tetanus 8. This is due to years of butter, spilled soft drinks, bodily fluids, and no telling what else caked up on the seats. It's quite the theatrical experience. I cringe when I find out that a movie I want to see is playing there. However, last night, the seats actually appeared to be somewhat cleaner than I remember. Perhaps they've done some sandblasting recently.
There was one ticket-taker and one person working at the concession stand. I got some popcorn with butter. The butter was barely coming out of the dispenser, just a tiny little clump at a time. I tried not to think about it. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer restores the Alex theater, and there's one old hot dog left in the container there from when the theater was open before. Yeah, that's what it reminded me of. Anyhow, then I asked for napkins, and was told, "Uhh, we sort of ran out of napkins. So we're using paper towels." I look and see one roll of paper towels sitting at the end of the counter. And it's the plain brown paper like you find in restrooms sometimes. With no perforations. So I have to pick up the roll and tear off these uneven pieces the best I can. Nice.
I didn't get home until around 11:00. Wanted to fix something light for supper, so I decided on a sandwich. All my refrigerated sandwich meat was iffy at best on whether or not it was still good. So I opened a can of potted meat. Not sure if this is mostly a southern thing or not, but it's only like thirty cents a can and is tasty, if unhealthy, on sandwiches and crackers. A definite bachelor staple!
Woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain (just thought of that Skid Row song) and thunder. I lied in bed a little longer than normal, waiting for the thunder to subside before I showered, because of something my dad told me when I was little. He told me never to be in the bathtub when it's storming outisde, because lightning can run in thru the pipes, or is attracted to water, or something. So for years, I wouldn't shower if it was thundering. And if I had to, I would stand at the back of the tub away from the water to soap up, and only get under the water to rinse off for just a few seconds. One day I realized that I had never heard of a single person who was struck by lightning while in the shower. Still a little hesitant about it though.
Two of my favorites have birthdays today, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 45. Thought about posting some of my favorite Elaine quotes or storylines. But that would be an entire post in itself. She's great in "The Chinese Restaurant." And "The Pick," of course. Also love her in "The Opposite" when she tells Jerry, "Can't you see what's happened? I've become George. It's true. I'm George!"
And Nicole Eggert is 34. She played the role of two of my favorite television characters of all-time. Yes, she was Summer on Baywatch. But I liked her even better as Jamie on Charles In Charge.
Have a great weekend! (And don't act like you don't luh 'dis lyric...)
"Charles in charge of our days and our nights. Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights..."
The movie was at the older of the two theaters in town, often referred to as the Tetanus Cinemas, or the Tetanus 8. This is due to years of butter, spilled soft drinks, bodily fluids, and no telling what else caked up on the seats. It's quite the theatrical experience. I cringe when I find out that a movie I want to see is playing there. However, last night, the seats actually appeared to be somewhat cleaner than I remember. Perhaps they've done some sandblasting recently.
There was one ticket-taker and one person working at the concession stand. I got some popcorn with butter. The butter was barely coming out of the dispenser, just a tiny little clump at a time. I tried not to think about it. It reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer restores the Alex theater, and there's one old hot dog left in the container there from when the theater was open before. Yeah, that's what it reminded me of. Anyhow, then I asked for napkins, and was told, "Uhh, we sort of ran out of napkins. So we're using paper towels." I look and see one roll of paper towels sitting at the end of the counter. And it's the plain brown paper like you find in restrooms sometimes. With no perforations. So I have to pick up the roll and tear off these uneven pieces the best I can. Nice.
I didn't get home until around 11:00. Wanted to fix something light for supper, so I decided on a sandwich. All my refrigerated sandwich meat was iffy at best on whether or not it was still good. So I opened a can of potted meat. Not sure if this is mostly a southern thing or not, but it's only like thirty cents a can and is tasty, if unhealthy, on sandwiches and crackers. A definite bachelor staple!
Woke up this morning to the sound of pouring rain (just thought of that Skid Row song) and thunder. I lied in bed a little longer than normal, waiting for the thunder to subside before I showered, because of something my dad told me when I was little. He told me never to be in the bathtub when it's storming outisde, because lightning can run in thru the pipes, or is attracted to water, or something. So for years, I wouldn't shower if it was thundering. And if I had to, I would stand at the back of the tub away from the water to soap up, and only get under the water to rinse off for just a few seconds. One day I realized that I had never heard of a single person who was struck by lightning while in the shower. Still a little hesitant about it though.
Two of my favorites have birthdays today, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is 45. Thought about posting some of my favorite Elaine quotes or storylines. But that would be an entire post in itself. She's great in "The Chinese Restaurant." And "The Pick," of course. Also love her in "The Opposite" when she tells Jerry, "Can't you see what's happened? I've become George. It's true. I'm George!"
And Nicole Eggert is 34. She played the role of two of my favorite television characters of all-time. Yes, she was Summer on Baywatch. But I liked her even better as Jamie on Charles In Charge.
Have a great weekend! (And don't act like you don't luh 'dis lyric...)
"Charles in charge of our days and our nights. Charles in charge of our wrongs and our rights..."
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Thank you. No, thank you.
As a bachelor, I have been told that I get a "free pass," so to speak, on certain rules of etiquette and other things. Things like, "No one expects all your serving bowls to match." Or "They don't expect you to get a gift for their new baby." Or "You're a guy. It's OK if you don't have a single thing hanging on your walls."
While I readily admit I don't know half of the Dear-Abby-Heloise-Miss-Manners rules of life, I do make an attempt. I send out Christmas cards each year. Do (nearly) all of my own shopping for gifts. And I almost always get a wedding gift when I get an invitation in the mail. However, some bits of etiquette and politeness I just do not understand. To wit...
I have received two thank you cards in the mail from people, both female, with whom I exchanged Christmas gifts this year.
I don't get it.
Thank you cards are fine for graduation gifts, wedding gifts. Or I suppose anytime someone gets you something and you don't get them anything. But we exchanged gifts. My gift to them was my thank you for their gift. And vice versa. We're even.
Except not now.
Now I owe them a thank you card?
And what's next, a "you're welcome" card? And then a "please, it was my pleasure" card? Or what about a "thank you for your thank you card" card? When does it end? I think the entire thank you card industry has gotten out of hand.
And then I started wondering if there might be someone out there that I offended by not sending a thank you card? Probably. Somewhere there's probably two people who haven't talked in years simply because one did not get a thank you card from the other. You think?
I'm sorry. It's just too much.
So I think I'm going to take my bachelor free pass on this one.
Do not go to Hallmark.
Do not spend two dollars.
The title of this post reminded me of an episode of Married... With Children. I think it's the one where Al moves the family into the supermarket. He's walking behind some hottie, taking items off the shelf, and dropping them behind her so she'll have to bend over and pick them up:
Al: "Oh Miss. I think you dropped your corn."
Scantily clad babe: "Oops! Thank you."
Al: "Thank you."
Al: "Oh Miss. You dropped your flea fogger."
Babe: "Oops. Thanks again."
Al: "No. Thank you."
Al: "Bud, here's something men do. Quick, get me something... Excuse me, Miss. You dropped your... uhh... eggs."
"Mister Jones and me, tell each other fairy tales. We stare at the beautiful women. She's lookin' at you. Naw, naw, she's lookin' at me..."
While I readily admit I don't know half of the Dear-Abby-Heloise-Miss-Manners rules of life, I do make an attempt. I send out Christmas cards each year. Do (nearly) all of my own shopping for gifts. And I almost always get a wedding gift when I get an invitation in the mail. However, some bits of etiquette and politeness I just do not understand. To wit...
I have received two thank you cards in the mail from people, both female, with whom I exchanged Christmas gifts this year.
I don't get it.
Thank you cards are fine for graduation gifts, wedding gifts. Or I suppose anytime someone gets you something and you don't get them anything. But we exchanged gifts. My gift to them was my thank you for their gift. And vice versa. We're even.
Except not now.
Now I owe them a thank you card?
And what's next, a "you're welcome" card? And then a "please, it was my pleasure" card? Or what about a "thank you for your thank you card" card? When does it end? I think the entire thank you card industry has gotten out of hand.
And then I started wondering if there might be someone out there that I offended by not sending a thank you card? Probably. Somewhere there's probably two people who haven't talked in years simply because one did not get a thank you card from the other. You think?
I'm sorry. It's just too much.
So I think I'm going to take my bachelor free pass on this one.
Do not go to Hallmark.
Do not spend two dollars.
The title of this post reminded me of an episode of Married... With Children. I think it's the one where Al moves the family into the supermarket. He's walking behind some hottie, taking items off the shelf, and dropping them behind her so she'll have to bend over and pick them up:
Al: "Oh Miss. I think you dropped your corn."
Scantily clad babe: "Oops! Thank you."
Al: "Thank you."
Al: "Oh Miss. You dropped your flea fogger."
Babe: "Oops. Thanks again."
Al: "No. Thank you."
Al: "Bud, here's something men do. Quick, get me something... Excuse me, Miss. You dropped your... uhh... eggs."
"Mister Jones and me, tell each other fairy tales. We stare at the beautiful women. She's lookin' at you. Naw, naw, she's lookin' at me..."
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
You have to feel my pants
Thought of three more quirky things to add to my list from a few weeks ago.
I have a small television in my bedroom. When you adjust the volume, a bar appears on the screen and expands as you turn up the volume. Along with the bar, a number appears, indicating the volume level. Depending on what channel it's on and whether I'm actually watching or just needing some noise to fall asleep to, I normally keep the volume between 20 and 30. But never on 26. Never. I always change it to 25 or 27. Why? Because 26 is a multiple of 13. I also would never leave the volume on 13 or 39. I don't have a problem watching channel 13, or 26, or 39, or 52, etc. But the volume can't come to rest on any of those numbers. Or something badcould will happen.
Over the weekend, a couple of people informed me that one of the brake lights was out on my car. This may not seem like a big thing. And apparently isn't to some people whom I've almost hit because they have no working brake lights whatsoever. Or turn signals apparently. But, I digress. Anytime a light is out on my car, I have to replace it. Immediately. Until I do, everytime I am driving, it just eats away at me like a buzzard eating away at a carcass in the desert. I think people must think what a loser this guy is to have a light out. Everyone notices it. And they are thinking or talking about it. Trust me. So I went and bought a replacement bulb and put it in yesterday. That's actually about two days longer than I would normally wait.
And lastly, in wintertime, I sometimes like to heat up the clothes I'm going to wear to bed in the dryer for just a couple of minutes before putting them on. (Was it really necessary to indicate that I heat them up before I put them on?) It's actually quite delightful. I suggest you try it. This idea, as many of you may know (or could easily assume), came directly from Seinfeld.
(From "The Calzone")
Kramer: "Elaine, you have to feel my pants."
Elaine: "I'll see ya later."
Jerry: "You got your shirt in my oven?"
Kramer: "I didn't have any quarters for the dryer. Anyway, this is better. And it's more convenient."
Jerry: "For both of us."
Kramer: "And I have a lot more control. I have one shirt going for ten minutes, at 325 degrees."
"I know I'll go thru hell, girl, when you find someone else. But right now I'm in heaven, and I can't help myself..."
I have a small television in my bedroom. When you adjust the volume, a bar appears on the screen and expands as you turn up the volume. Along with the bar, a number appears, indicating the volume level. Depending on what channel it's on and whether I'm actually watching or just needing some noise to fall asleep to, I normally keep the volume between 20 and 30. But never on 26. Never. I always change it to 25 or 27. Why? Because 26 is a multiple of 13. I also would never leave the volume on 13 or 39. I don't have a problem watching channel 13, or 26, or 39, or 52, etc. But the volume can't come to rest on any of those numbers. Or something bad
Over the weekend, a couple of people informed me that one of the brake lights was out on my car. This may not seem like a big thing. And apparently isn't to some people whom I've almost hit because they have no working brake lights whatsoever. Or turn signals apparently. But, I digress. Anytime a light is out on my car, I have to replace it. Immediately. Until I do, everytime I am driving, it just eats away at me like a buzzard eating away at a carcass in the desert. I think people must think what a loser this guy is to have a light out. Everyone notices it. And they are thinking or talking about it. Trust me. So I went and bought a replacement bulb and put it in yesterday. That's actually about two days longer than I would normally wait.
And lastly, in wintertime, I sometimes like to heat up the clothes I'm going to wear to bed in the dryer for just a couple of minutes before putting them on. (Was it really necessary to indicate that I heat them up before I put them on?) It's actually quite delightful. I suggest you try it. This idea, as many of you may know (or could easily assume), came directly from Seinfeld.
(From "The Calzone")
Kramer: "Elaine, you have to feel my pants."
Elaine: "I'll see ya later."
Jerry: "You got your shirt in my oven?"
Kramer: "I didn't have any quarters for the dryer. Anyway, this is better. And it's more convenient."
Jerry: "For both of us."
Kramer: "And I have a lot more control. I have one shirt going for ten minutes, at 325 degrees."
"I know I'll go thru hell, girl, when you find someone else. But right now I'm in heaven, and I can't help myself..."
Monday, January 09, 2006
Word Verification
I'm sure we've all had our difficulties with the Blogger word verification letters. At least I have, sometimes having to try two or three times before I get them right. I wonder if the word verification letters are generated automatically, or if Blogger hires someone to manually come up with them. For the purpose of this post, I'm going to pretend it's the latter...
Pseudo-serious beer commercial voice:
"Today we salute you, Mister Word-Verification-Maker-Upper."
(80's-pop-sounding-voice singing: "Mister Word Verification Maker Uppuhhh...")
"Hour after hour, you tirelessly toil at your trusty qwerty keyboard, carefully coming up with endless combinations of four to ten letters that don't make up actual words."
(Singing: "No real wuhhhds...")
"Sure, you could have used that two year business degree to work in an office somewhere, making coffee and running errands. But no."
(Singing: "His nose isn't browwwn...")
"Instead, you chose this thankless task, taking full advantage of your one hundred thirty words per minute typing skills."
(Singing: "He types so faaast...")
"So crack open a cold one, O Eradicator of Comment Spam. And the next time we find the word verification letters a little hard to read, we'll remember you're just keeping spam at bay."
(Singing: "Super duper eradicator...")
"I wonder what you're doing. Imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far..."
Pseudo-serious beer commercial voice:
"Today we salute you, Mister Word-Verification-Maker-Upper."
(80's-pop-sounding-voice singing: "Mister Word Verification Maker Uppuhhh...")
"Hour after hour, you tirelessly toil at your trusty qwerty keyboard, carefully coming up with endless combinations of four to ten letters that don't make up actual words."
(Singing: "No real wuhhhds...")
"Sure, you could have used that two year business degree to work in an office somewhere, making coffee and running errands. But no."
(Singing: "His nose isn't browwwn...")
"Instead, you chose this thankless task, taking full advantage of your one hundred thirty words per minute typing skills."
(Singing: "He types so faaast...")
"So crack open a cold one, O Eradicator of Comment Spam. And the next time we find the word verification letters a little hard to read, we'll remember you're just keeping spam at bay."
(Singing: "Super duper eradicator...")
"I wonder what you're doing. Imagine where you are. There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far..."
Friday, January 06, 2006
The Thin Red Hetero Line
Finally added a "Selected Posts" section to the sidebar. Will probably add some different ones to it from time to time. Also, be sure to check out T's post today. A good week for the Crimson Tide.
Someone described me the other day as "the sensitive, straight male, who knows everything there is to know about Seinfeld and football, and eats at the Cracker Barrel, and is forever trying to figure out what girls like, and what girls might like about him."
Considering this person only knows me thru my blog (and several emails), I thought it quite perceptive. A very accurate brief description of Bone. Hope she doesn't mind that I include it here. It also fits in well with today's post.
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I am really not good at shopping. And when I say shopping, I mean purchasing clothes. I don't go to just look. I go with the intent of buying. And normally don't leave until I have bought at least one thing. Maybe that's part of the problem. Really though, it's not that I mind going. I don't. I'm just not good at it.
As a generic example, I could pick out three shirts, which really seem great to me in the store. Buy them. And by the time I get home, I only like one of them. And even that one is only OK. I have closets full of clothes I don't really care for. Perhaps part of the problem is that I never try anything on, unless a girl is with me andencourages makes me. If it's my size, I just assume it will fit. And I rarely take anything back. Until recently, I never realized why when I got home, certain clothes just didn't seem to look right. Now I'm learning. Some shirts are fitted. Some are not. Some hang on me like a tunic. There are different collars. Who knew!
So I have pretty much decided that from now on, I am not going shopping unless I have a girl with me. If she likes it, and I like it, and it fits me well when I try it on, I'll buy it. Simple, three-step shopping. And of course, I reserve my right to invoke my "looks a little too gay" veto powers at anytime.
Changing gears, we went to rent a movie over the weekend. One of my suggestions was Must Love Dogs, because I usually like Cusack's movies. And I tend to like romantic comedies. There. I said it. It's out in the open for all the world to see. Anyway, we ended up renting The Longest Yard. So this presents a bit of a dilemma for me if I want to see the other movie.
As a guy, it's difficult to go see or rent certain types of movies without a girl. Romantic comedies being one. I mean, if it's at the theater, I can't really call up one of the guys and ask him to go with me. And hopefully you don't even have to ask why that is. And going alone to those types of movies would be similar to renting them by myself. Although I have done it before, with Serendipity. It would just be more than a bit odd to walk up to the counter in the movie store with Must Love Dogs, You've Got Mail, and Dying Young. Then again, at least if I rent it, the clerk might think I am taking it home to my girl.
So I guess this is what it has come to. Renting movies under unspoken false pretenses. Maybe TBS will have a John Cusack marathon soon. And there's always Lifetime. I mean, pro football.
"Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?"
Someone described me the other day as "the sensitive, straight male, who knows everything there is to know about Seinfeld and football, and eats at the Cracker Barrel, and is forever trying to figure out what girls like, and what girls might like about him."
Considering this person only knows me thru my blog (and several emails), I thought it quite perceptive. A very accurate brief description of Bone. Hope she doesn't mind that I include it here. It also fits in well with today's post.
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, I am really not good at shopping. And when I say shopping, I mean purchasing clothes. I don't go to just look. I go with the intent of buying. And normally don't leave until I have bought at least one thing. Maybe that's part of the problem. Really though, it's not that I mind going. I don't. I'm just not good at it.
As a generic example, I could pick out three shirts, which really seem great to me in the store. Buy them. And by the time I get home, I only like one of them. And even that one is only OK. I have closets full of clothes I don't really care for. Perhaps part of the problem is that I never try anything on, unless a girl is with me and
So I have pretty much decided that from now on, I am not going shopping unless I have a girl with me. If she likes it, and I like it, and it fits me well when I try it on, I'll buy it. Simple, three-step shopping. And of course, I reserve my right to invoke my "looks a little too gay" veto powers at anytime.
Changing gears, we went to rent a movie over the weekend. One of my suggestions was Must Love Dogs, because I usually like Cusack's movies. And I tend to like romantic comedies. There. I said it. It's out in the open for all the world to see. Anyway, we ended up renting The Longest Yard. So this presents a bit of a dilemma for me if I want to see the other movie.
As a guy, it's difficult to go see or rent certain types of movies without a girl. Romantic comedies being one. I mean, if it's at the theater, I can't really call up one of the guys and ask him to go with me. And hopefully you don't even have to ask why that is. And going alone to those types of movies would be similar to renting them by myself. Although I have done it before, with Serendipity. It would just be more than a bit odd to walk up to the counter in the movie store with Must Love Dogs, You've Got Mail, and Dying Young. Then again, at least if I rent it, the clerk might think I am taking it home to my girl.
So I guess this is what it has come to. Renting movies under unspoken false pretenses. Maybe TBS will have a John Cusack marathon soon. And there's always Lifetime. I mean, pro football.
"Why can't you do it? Why can't you set your monkey free?"
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Thursday Thirteen: 2005
Thirteen memories from 2005, in no particular order...
1. My trip to California in October.
2. Flying for the first time ever, to California.
3. Getting my first massage. (And my second. Third. Fourth...) I'll never forget her... I mean, them.
4. My first-ever Festivus party.
5. Gettin out da hood, and moving to my new fastidious bachelor pad.
6. Going to see Jerry Seinfeld in concert for the second time.
7. Welcomed a new addition to my family, Pablo Picasso. (Thus named because he had no ears. Should have actually been named Van Gogh. But whatever. It makes for a good story.)
8. Going to the beach in May to see that things were not "back to normal" in Gulf Shores. Nothing says beach like jackhammers right outside your window all night long. Thanks again, Bob Riley.
9. Being there to watch Bama crush Florida 31-3. Roll Tide!
10. Being there to watch Bama beat Tennessee. Again, Roll Tide!
11. Going to the George Strait concert in January.
12. Trading in my truck for a car.
13. Getting a new computer. The blog entry that changed my life.
PS: I know at least a couple of my readers are very happy about Texas winning the national championship last night. Congratulations! And today's lyric is in honor of the 'Horns.
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Uisce
2. Carney
3. Interstellar Lass
4. Audra
5. Sallwood
6. Renee
7. Jennifer
8. (leave your link in the comments, and I'll add you here!)
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
"Before you lose your accent, and forget all about the Lonestar State. There's a seat for you at the rodeo and I've got every slow dance saved. Besides, the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway..."
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Four days with no Bone
Well, I'm back. I think this is probably the longest blog hiatus I've taken since I began blogging back in May 2003. Working on a new blog slogan: "Here at IYROOBTY, I don't write a lot of the blogs you read. I make a lot of the blogs you read seem more interesting." Hmm. Think I'll file that one in the "sometimes things seem a whole lot funnier at midnight than they do in the middle of the day and should not be posted" category.
Hope you all had a fun and safe New Year's weekend. And while I didn't get married, and our celebration didn't feature a toilet breaking completely in two, I did have a great New Year's nonetheless.
I had a guest in town this weekend. She will from hereafter be referred to as BE. We exchanged gifts on Friday evening. Despite my anxiety, I was told that I did a good job on the gifts that I had purchased: Two books, a perfume/lotion set, and a sweater. Was really only concerned about the sweater, but she said she liked it. I was very pleased with the gifts I received. Two shirts, a pair of jeans, and a sweater. I really liked everything. This was my first reminder of the weekend that I really need a woman. I am really not good at shopping for myself. Will probably do a post about that later.
BE, Kyle, and I went to Nashville for New Year's Eve, where we met up with Cassie. The four of us walked around the Opryland Hotel. Then went downtown. Had dinner at Big River Grille. Then ended up at Buffalo Billiards, where we rang in 2006. I've never been big on New Year's, but as New Year's Eves go, this was one of the better ones. Watched football most of the day Sunday. Watched Bama beat Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl Monday morning, then went shopping. Oh yeah, I just remembered. I set off my car alarm when we got home Sunday morning at nearly 4 AM, because I still haven't figured out all the nuances of the little remote key thingy. Took me a few seconds to turn if off, too, because I... still haven't figured out all the nuances... I'm sure the neighbors love me.
I did have a bathroom etiquette hiccup at Buffalo Billiards. There was a 3 urinal set up. Urinals 1 and 3 were taken and all the stalls were full. Well, I should have just walked out, or stalled over by the sink. Instead, I slid into the middle urinal. Fortunately, just as I unzipped and before it started to flow, the urinator at #3 left his post. So I sveltely slid down to urinal #3. Seconds later, someone set up shop at #2 anyway, so it was all for naught. Still, I must apologize to the urinator at #1. If you are reading this, I am the guy who violated your buffer zone Saturday night around 11:35 PM in the Buffalo Billiards men's room. I was wearing jeans, a light blue shirt, and a black pullover sweater.
I will close by sharing some things I learned this weekend. Actually several of these could be categorized under the heading of "I really need a woman":
- There is a "hidden" carousel cabinet thingy in my kitchen. I've lived in this place four months, never had a clue it was there. She finds it first thing. Just like it's common knowledge that it was there.
- All my cabinet shelves are adjustable. Again, who knew!
- Having a meal cooked for you is a good thing. A very good thing. (Wonder if she knows how this behavior endeared her to me.)
- Girls really notice what shoes you're wearing. As evidence, I came to work today in a new shirt and new shoes. Our secretary walks in, says nothing at all about my shirt, but almost immediately asks, "Did you get some new shoes?"
- I really need a girl with me in order to validate purchasing a pink shirt, which I did on Monday. I need her approval.
- Looking "pimp" is apparently a good thing. Again, who knew!
- After Christmas is the time to shop. I'm sure most of you already knew this.
I also worked "abscond" into a conversation over the weekend. Was entirely too excited about that. Oh, and my aunt called one night while we were driving around. She said, "I just saw an Xbox 360 at Wal-Mart. They only have one. Do you want me to put it on layaway for you?" What the freak? I have never indicated an interest in this. It completely came out of the blue. I think my game console buying days are long over. At least until I have a child. So I said nicely, "No, I don't think I'm gonna buy one of those." I'm single, thin, neat, early thirties. I don't think more video games is the answer. Seriously.
Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. Then again, any weekend when you hear "Ice Ice Baby" more than once can't be too bad. I can't wait to get home and play my Atari Flashback ;-)
Word to ya mother.
"Take heed, cos I'm a lyrical poet. Miami's on the scene, just in case you didn't know it..."
Hope you all had a fun and safe New Year's weekend. And while I didn't get married, and our celebration didn't feature a toilet breaking completely in two, I did have a great New Year's nonetheless.
I had a guest in town this weekend. She will from hereafter be referred to as BE. We exchanged gifts on Friday evening. Despite my anxiety, I was told that I did a good job on the gifts that I had purchased: Two books, a perfume/lotion set, and a sweater. Was really only concerned about the sweater, but she said she liked it. I was very pleased with the gifts I received. Two shirts, a pair of jeans, and a sweater. I really liked everything. This was my first reminder of the weekend that I really need a woman. I am really not good at shopping for myself. Will probably do a post about that later.
BE, Kyle, and I went to Nashville for New Year's Eve, where we met up with Cassie. The four of us walked around the Opryland Hotel. Then went downtown. Had dinner at Big River Grille. Then ended up at Buffalo Billiards, where we rang in 2006. I've never been big on New Year's, but as New Year's Eves go, this was one of the better ones. Watched football most of the day Sunday. Watched Bama beat Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl Monday morning, then went shopping. Oh yeah, I just remembered. I set off my car alarm when we got home Sunday morning at nearly 4 AM, because I still haven't figured out all the nuances of the little remote key thingy. Took me a few seconds to turn if off, too, because I... still haven't figured out all the nuances... I'm sure the neighbors love me.
I did have a bathroom etiquette hiccup at Buffalo Billiards. There was a 3 urinal set up. Urinals 1 and 3 were taken and all the stalls were full. Well, I should have just walked out, or stalled over by the sink. Instead, I slid into the middle urinal. Fortunately, just as I unzipped and before it started to flow, the urinator at #3 left his post. So I sveltely slid down to urinal #3. Seconds later, someone set up shop at #2 anyway, so it was all for naught. Still, I must apologize to the urinator at #1. If you are reading this, I am the guy who violated your buffer zone Saturday night around 11:35 PM in the Buffalo Billiards men's room. I was wearing jeans, a light blue shirt, and a black pullover sweater.
I will close by sharing some things I learned this weekend. Actually several of these could be categorized under the heading of "I really need a woman":
- There is a "hidden" carousel cabinet thingy in my kitchen. I've lived in this place four months, never had a clue it was there. She finds it first thing. Just like it's common knowledge that it was there.
- All my cabinet shelves are adjustable. Again, who knew!
- Having a meal cooked for you is a good thing. A very good thing. (Wonder if she knows how this behavior endeared her to me.)
- Girls really notice what shoes you're wearing. As evidence, I came to work today in a new shirt and new shoes. Our secretary walks in, says nothing at all about my shirt, but almost immediately asks, "Did you get some new shoes?"
- I really need a girl with me in order to validate purchasing a pink shirt, which I did on Monday. I need her approval.
- Looking "pimp" is apparently a good thing. Again, who knew!
- After Christmas is the time to shop. I'm sure most of you already knew this.
I also worked "abscond" into a conversation over the weekend. Was entirely too excited about that. Oh, and my aunt called one night while we were driving around. She said, "I just saw an Xbox 360 at Wal-Mart. They only have one. Do you want me to put it on layaway for you?" What the freak? I have never indicated an interest in this. It completely came out of the blue. I think my game console buying days are long over. At least until I have a child. So I said nicely, "No, I don't think I'm gonna buy one of those." I'm single, thin, neat, early thirties. I don't think more video games is the answer. Seriously.
Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. Then again, any weekend when you hear "Ice Ice Baby" more than once can't be too bad. I can't wait to get home and play my Atari Flashback ;-)
Word to ya mother.
"Take heed, cos I'm a lyrical poet. Miami's on the scene, just in case you didn't know it..."
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