Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Laundry 5, Bone 0

I've decided to make the creative writing a regular feature, at least for awhile. I'll try and do it every Thursday. I'll post three words, which someone else has given me, and what I wrote using them. I hope some of you will participate, too. I'd love to see what you come up with.

And now time for more bachelor misadventures. Several months ago, I bought a shirt at Express Men. It was a deep red graphic tee. My laundry policy is to wash everything I buy one time by itself, before wearing it and before washing it with the other clothes. So I did.

My typical laundry procedure is to wash towels together, then whites (and sometimes khakis), then colors, then bed clothes, and then sometimes jeans or dress pants separately. I don't use that many clothes in a week. So this has worked well for me. For the most part.

The second time I washed the scarlet t-shirt, I washed it with the other colors. Opening the washing machine, I was suprised to find it's dye had been distributed rather liberally amongst the other clothes. (Not realizing that apparently drying clothes sets the stain, I put the clothes in the dryer. But that's not really important for this story.)

I deemed two or three shirts unwearable after this minor laundry mishap. Pink seemed to be everywhere. Also lost in the carnage were a pair of socks and a bandana. After that, I decided to wash the free bleeder by itself. No more laundry problems. Until Sunday.

I must have washed this shirt at least six or eight times by now. I actually quit wearing it as often just so I wouldn't have to wash it. But Sunday I decided it would be OK to put it in with the rest of the colors once again. Let it out of solitary confinement to mingle with the other prisoners.

Besides, I'd also bought these nifty Shout Color Catcher sheets, which had been recommended following the previous incident. I figured if there was any leftover discharge from the rebellious shirt, the sheets would take care of it. Well, that's what I get for figuring.

I now had a gray t-shirt with a hint of pink tint to it. A light blue half-linen, half-cotton button-down shirt, which looked like I was stabbed repeatedly while wearing it. And a mint green, blue, and white striped polo shirt. Which was now mint green, blue, and pink. OK, I really don't know if it's mint green or some other shade of green. But I thought it sounded good.

This time, I didn't dry the most heavily damaged clothes. Instead, I sprayed them with Shout, poured detergent and OxyClean into the washer and rewashed them. Three times. I think I might have salvaged the polo shirt. In a dimly lit room, you can't really tell there's any pink. The other two are ruined. That's like five shirts I've lost in the last three months.

Next time on bachelor misadventures, Bone tries to engage the self-cleaning feature on his oven. Three weeks later, he's getting a brand new electric range.

For now, I'm just hoping for some cooler weather real soon. I'm running out of short sleeve shirts to wear.

"I got ketchup on my blue jeans. I just burned my hand. Lord, it's hard to be a bachelor man..."


  1. The scarlett tee shirt? Good name for something.

    Do you read labels when you first buy clothes?

    Any man who does his own laundry, and has only made one major mistake, is better than most women I know

    And you have a self-cleaning oven and are getting a new one. See NY hasn't joined the later half of the 20th century yet, let alone the new one, and that all sounds so luxe to me.

    Without even being taunted by a spare room or stair cases to slip down

  2. You know, they say pink is the new "in" color for men. :)

  3. I was trying to think of some whitty remark but all I can think of over and over again is that "leftover discharge" sounds really disgusting!!

  4. My laundry policy is to put the clothes in the machine and then take a nap. Oh and to spend an astronomical amount at the dry cleaner.

  5. The fact that you knew to wash the shirt first impresses the hell out of me!

    My ex only did laundry one time and he broke the dryer, after that he wasn't allowed to even go in the laundry room.

  6. Aaaaaaaaaahahaha!
    Sounds like it might be time to trash that bleeder, Bone. Better than throwing away every other shirt you own, right? Or, wash it by hand, then hang to dry. No, no... just throw it away.

  7. Real men wear pink! At least that's what I hear. I've had shirts like that before. Cheap dye is the problem. On the wrong kind of fabric.

  8. Woolite and Cheer both have a dark colors detergent. This helps my BIL's clothes from bleeding all over. He's a musician, and wears tons of black. I agree with Lass, it's cheap dye on the wrong fabric, and I'd kick it to the curb. It's like allowing the Newman of the laundry to just steamroll George. You can't let that happen. It'll be mayhem next, I tell ya.

  9. You're supposed to be able to set dye with salt water or vinegar...check online for the details. Or you could just get rid of the shirt.

    to remove the extra color, try Zout. It works on even set with the dryer stains.

    You're gonna make a great hubby one day.

  10. I always wash my reds separately after having a similiar incident years ago...once of that was enough for me. Unfortunately (or fortunately, maybe) I don't have many red clothes so the reds don't get done as often, but I'll take that trade-off.

  11. Pia: Yes, the scarlet T. I should clarify. That's one major mistake this year. Well, two now.

    In other news, Jax is back on GH. He'd gone away for awhile.

    Carmen: True. Pink is the new laundry for me.

    GroovieChick: It could be. But not as used here. I'll try to work it into another post in the future, just for you :)

    Heather B: I like naps. I have many policies. I'll share more in the future, I'm sure.

    RedNeckGirl: Well, being a bachelor for this many years, you have to pick up some things eventually :)

    Blondie: Whatever I do, I'll never wash it with anything else again. Yet another bachelor lesson learned, the hard way.

    Lass: I know. But it's not a good pink. Not a smooth, even pink. It's splotchy.

    Dorothy: Ah, he's a musician, huh? With complicated shoes?

    I definitely have to put a stop to this rogue shirt wreaking havoc on the rest of the well-behaved wash. For some garments though, this decision comes a little too late.

    Renee: LOL How in the world did this post inspire you to say that I'm going to make a great hubby one day?

    Chickadee: I thought about doing that, too. But like you, I don't have that many reds.

  12. Hahahahahaha.

    And as for the previous - I try not to do anything without my dad there when it comes to cars. It's the equivalent to your laundry story otherwise.

  13. Because we're teaching you how to do everything... how to cook, get the car repaired, do your laundry...

    What's the next domestic drama you have for us? LOL

  14. Bone in Pink, catchy eh? Great story. If I'd known yesterday, I had a large bag of short sleeve shirts in the back of my truck that I could have sent you--it's time to clean the closet and in another few weeks, short sleeves will be a thing of the past here--but I dropped it off at Goodwill...

  15. I have a t-shirt from my old company that I have the same problem with in terms of the dye coming out in the wash regardless of how many times I've washed it. I've learned to just wash it with black jeans.

  16. You know that "real men" wear pink don't you? Did someone already say that? I'm too lazy to read the other 'ments!

    Is there any color left to the one from Express? I may consider taking the darned thing back INCLUDING all of the other shirts that were ruined because of their not-so-colorfast-colors and ask for a refund on all of it!!!

  17. Bone - Sorry, but that's just too funny! I know it's not when it happens to you (and believe it or not, it's happened to everyone, men and women), but it's a good read. :)

  18. LOL! I say throw the shirt away so you will not be tempted again to wash it with the others... :) :) :)

  19. I wash reds together, darks together (by "darks", I mean jeans, and green/black/blue shirts, etc), light colored shirts together, and towels/socks/underwear together. Of course, seven people live in this house. You could probably get away with a red pile, a dark pile, and a light/towels/socks/underwear pile.
    Better yet...how far away does your mom live? Can she help you with your laundry? ;)

  20. Tenacious Tide User: That's probably wise of you. I'm glad you got a laugh out of this. That's what I was thinking as I was throwing my shirts out, "Well, at least Tenacious T will enjoy this story." :)

    Renee: I see. Well, I could do the oven cleaning story sometime. And how I couldn't get the oven open for three weeks.

    Sage: We probably still have a couple of months of short sleeve weather here.

    Xinh: Is your shirt red, as well?

    Carnealian: Oh yeah, there's plenty of color left in it. It seems to be as colorful as ever. I thought about taking it back. Can you do that, just because a shirt bleeds?

    Chica: It's OK. I know it's funny. I'm just running out of summer clothes over here :)

    Shayna: I'll take that under advisement. I probably should, lest it sneak into the wash with other clothes in the future.

    Jennifer: Not far. But I wouldn't let her. I'd call her for tips. But I thought I had it figured out. Everytime I think I do, I learn another lesson the hard way :)

  21. awSort of. It's a brownish-red. Sort of like Burnt Sienna. Or more like a Brick color.

  22. I've yet to have a mishap in the laundry department. *knock wood* Though I guess it's simpler since most of my shirts are black or dark blue. I have one bright red shirt, and wash it by itself.

  23. That's it. Reds will have their own laundry cycle in the Bone household from now on.