Friday, August 18, 2006


A couple of years after she and I broke up, after four years together, I sat down to write about our relationship. I had no idea how much I would write or how it would turn out. But 17,000 words later, I had the story of us, in my words. I titled it "Unmelted Snow."

I can't remember if it was always my intention to let her read it or not. But after I had completed it, I printed it out on half sheets of paper, which I had torn by hand, bound it, and presented it to her.

No one has ever read it, except for me, her, and anyone she might have chosen to show it to. And while I'll probably never let anyone read the entire thing, today I present the introduction to that story, as I wrote it then. Unedited, except for our names.

Unmelted Snow
by Bone

(for Lily, of course... my hope, my inspiration, my love, my smile, and my sadness)


I do not know why one cannot see things clearly in the present, and yet once the present time has passed, one sees things with perfect vision. In a relationship, it is like being in a river, and you feel fine sometimes and it is fun and cool and wonderful. But other times you feel like you are drowning and you feel trapped and you just want out of it. But once you get out, after a while, suddenly you are able to see things so clearly again. And the river always looks beautiful from the shore, and soon you want to jump back in again.

I wonder if love really does grow old, or if people are just stupid.

I would not trade my time with Lily for anything. Some may think, or say, that it is a waste of a man's life to spend so much time loving one person when in the end, it does not end in marriage. And maybe I could understand that point of view. Maybe. If I had not lived it. If I had not loved her.

I cannot think of anything to compare it to, or else I would compare it to that thing. I am sure there is something, but I cannot think of it at this time. I wish there was only one love in everyone's life, and that one love lasted a lifetime or longer, and if that was how things were, then Lily would be my one love.

So this is, to the best of my remembrance, the story of us, of Lily and me. I have always wanted to write something. Something important. Something good to read. And really I think that you can only write what you know. And there is nothing that I know better than this story.

It is something that I lived from the time that I first saw her till the time I am writing this, although we have not loved that entire time. But one does not have to be swimming in the river to know how wonderful it feels, how wonderful it was, and that he would like to go back there again someday.

And although it may not signify much, this is the best I have ever written.


  1. with that as the beginning, i can only imagine the rest being just as beautiful.

  2. OK, I am insisting that you do two things. 1) Get back with this woman. Whatever it takes. There is something that is just so obvious that you need to be together. 2) Publish this story. Whether you self-publish, or whatever. Get it in print. Edit it. Make it fiction. Or not. But publish it.

    I shall be very put out if you don't do both of these things immediately.

  3. I'd have to SERIOUSLY disagree with Lass regarding her number one demand. You two aren't together right now for a reason. It's clear that you love her, that she was a huge part of your life, that she holds a big piece of your heart... but it ended for a reason.

    I do agree, however, that you should publish the rest. You're such an increadible writer.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

  4. Saying 'beautiful bone' seems so trite, but since that's what it is, then trite I shall be.

    That deserves another 'fucking fantastic'.

  5. I want to read the rest of the story. I like Lily already! It must have been some fantastic times with her...

  6. Bone that first paragraph is one of the most incredible things that I have read. And the rest wonderful.

    I have always wondered the second paragraph.

    Everything sparkles like glass you find on sand.

    It is truly brilliant, but upon fifth reading see somethings that need editing--for when you are ready to write the book, or to make this into a story that can be published

    You know how much I believe in your talent. This and the song lyrics earlier this week proves it beyond any doubt

    And Lily is lucky that she has had you in her life. Though I too like her, you're the one I read everyday :-)

    You have that great Southern way with words, and you wrote this before reading Capote.

  7. Ms. Sizzle: Thank you. But I'm sure it's mostly downhill after the introduction :)

    Lass: Thank you for the encouragement. How about one out of two. I'm afraid number one probably isn't going to happen. She and I have settled into a sometimes dysfunctional but very beautiful and rewarding friendship. And that's not a bad thing at all.

    Blondie: Perhaps I should consider that. For now, I wanted to share this tiny bit.

    Heather B: Why thank you, Miss Heather. Don't worry, I feel the same a lot of times when I comment.

    Kerry: Thank you. They were wonderful times. She was a precious gift.

    Pia: Thanks. I saw a couple of things upon reading it after all this time that I would change. But I wanted to leave it as I had written it then.

    True, it was before Capote. But it was after Hemingway.

  8. Wow... amazing!!!! I'm very impressed!

  9. Ok ok o friggin' k we get it, now move the hell on. This is rediculous!!

  10. Boo for the anonymous comment before mine!

    That is an amazing introduction to what I'm sure was a beautiful story that you wrote. Even though that relationship didn't turn out the way you had probably planned it's nice to have that one person in your life. That person that you love so much that the dysfunctional friendship is still something you enjoy having in your life. She's lucky.

  11. Beautiful writing Bone.

    No advice this time. Just a sisterly cyberhug.

  12. If Anonymous had any love for or appreciation of the English language, I would take the comment seriously

    But since he/she/it is illiterate and stupid, I don't

  13. I'm torn. I feel that you will probably have a very hard time getting this published (but I'm not entirely sure you want it published). And I'm not so sure you should post it on your blog either.

    You write beautifully and I'm sure we would all like to know the details of this, but will this help you any? I don't think so.

    What I really would like to see is you with someone knew who makes you write like this. Go find her.

  14. somewhere I have copies to two such letters, but none of them ever approached 17,000 words, the most I got down was about a 1000! As others have said, you do have a nack for words.

  15. I hope writing it all out helped you a bit. And of course it's you're best writing, because it came from your heart. Though I think I'm with Renee on this.

    Just a little advice (from a good place, not a critical one) from the other single person in the blogosphere. ;) After my breakup with the man I thought for sure was "the One", my friend Irish got mad at me one day. (This was several months after) She told me that I needed to get over it. That was the theme of the month. The more you linger on it, the harder it's going to be when presented with new opportunities. What I needed was a little push. Ok, a big one, but still. :)

  16. I mentioned my pic was up, right?

  17. Thank you for sharing this with us.....I feel honored that you posted something so personal, something that you put so much effort and emotion's beautiful as is everything that you write. From what I know of you (through the blog alone) it doesn't seem as though you are still hung up on this girl but that you enjoy remembering what you shared and have grown to appreciate the friendship that you have now.

  18. Amanda: I don't know about amazing. But thank you :)

    Krista: Thanks, Krista. And thanks for the boo :)

    Dorothy: Thank you. No, I don't think you mentioned the pic. But I had already clicked over and seen it.

    Pia: He/she/it... lol It's amazing how many of the rude anonymous comments always have some obvious spelling/grammatical error.

    Rediculous... I guess that's like diculous again?

    Renee: Thanks, Renee. I'm not entirely sure of the same things you're not entirely sure of :)

    Sage: It wasn't that hard to get 17,000 words out of four years. I'm glad I wrote it down, because now I've probably forgotten half of what I wrote then.

    Carmen: Writing it out always helps. And it all came out rather easily. I don't think I mentioned exactly, but I wrote it four or five years ago.

    RedNeckGirl: Thank you for the very kind words. And I think you're last sentence is very perceptive. At least I hope that's where I'm at. That's where I'm striving to be.

  19. Beautiful post, Bone. There is so much truth in this. So much sad and wonderful truth. I wonder if you ever can love someone else that much when you have done it once. I know nothing is ever the same after that. And that one cannot be satisfied with less, knowing what it is to truly love. I still wonder.

    Perhaps this is why I cried myself silly watching The Notebook twice this weekend.

    Sorry for your hurted piggy.

  20. Tenacious One: Thanks, T. You seem to understand the situation and relate.

    I watched The Notebook a couple of weekends ago. And that's all I'm saying about that :)