The Ex-Files: Kara

I will be trekking over to the ATL this evening for my last remaining single cousin's wedding Saturday. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this third installment of the Ex-Files, a glimpse into Bone's vast yet mostly unsuccessful dating past...

At some point during the years of 1992 or 1993, I met Kara. It has been said that all great couples have an interesting, amusing, or uncommon story about how they met. Well, Kara and I were no different. Or, we were very different.

It was the custom of the day after the mall closed at 9 PM to ride around the parking lot and socialize. Looking for someone you knew or someone you wanted to know. And that's where the paths of our lives intersected.

She, and her friends, in her green Honda Accord. I, and my friends--my posse, entourage, if you will--in my friend's black 1990 Hyundai Excel hatchback. We pulled up beside each other, right in front of the Castner Knott. I could tell immediately this was someone who was going to be a big part of my life for a long time. Or at least four or five months.

OK, truth is, I couldn't really tell much about her at all. It was dark and we weren't directly under a street light. So we all agreed to meet up across the street inside the McDonald's. That's where I first saw her jet black hair, cute slightly-oversized nose, and... some-colored eyes (green, I think). I got her number, which seemed a whole lot easier to do then. And the rest, as they say, is a blog entry.

Three memories stand out more than others from my time with Kara. The first concerns the making out, the cornerstone of any strong relationship. She had an active tongue. She was an aggressive kisser, to the point that I had to be aggressive back, almost in self-defense, or fear being choked to death.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad. I mean, it was making out, after all. But sometimes it seemed like she was checking around for a loose crown in there or something.

To prove it wasn't bad, one night as we were driving around in my burgundy 1989 Mustang she directed me to a place she referred to as Skyline. A place she described as a lookout point where people went to make out. Well, I couldn't imagine a better idea. Unless maybe we would be playing Sega after making out.

We drove down a road I'd never been before, crossed an intersection, and continued along the road, up a hill and thru some trees. We wound up in an empty parking lot next to a large building. Sure enough, down below the lights of the city could be seen. As could the buildings of the local mental facility. Nevertheless, we began.

Maybe ten minutes later those all-too-familiar blue lights began flashing behind us. The officer knocked on the window and asked me to step out of the car. Suffice it to say I never went back there again. Those are memories you can't replace.

The other thing I remember about Kara was that her mother really liked me. So much that after Kara and I weren't dating anymore, but still in touch from time-to-time, her mother would call me at work to chat. I didn't mind it. It was just different. The only time in my dating life anything like that happened.

I think her mother always wanted us to get back together. But we never did. I still remember where her parents lived. They still live there, to this day. I just googled it. I recommend googling at least one person per day, just to stay in practice.

It seems I went thru a phase where either the girls liked me and the mothers didn't, or vice versa. Then, of course, there was the time where neither the girl nor her mother liked me. That was fun.

But that's another story for another nostalgic edition of the Ex-Files. So until next time, uh, word to ya mother.

"Tomorrow we can drive around this town, and let the cops chase us around..."