Friday, August 04, 2006

The Ex-Files: Kara

I will be trekking over to the ATL this evening for my last remaining single cousin's wedding Saturday. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this third installment of the Ex-Files, a glimpse into Bone's vast yet mostly unsuccessful dating past...

At some point during the years of 1992 or 1993, I met Kara. It has been said that all great couples have an interesting, amusing, or uncommon story about how they met. Well, Kara and I were no different. Or, we were very different.

It was the custom of the day after the mall closed at 9 PM to ride around the parking lot and socialize. Looking for someone you knew or someone you wanted to know. And that's where the paths of our lives intersected.

She, and her friends, in her green Honda Accord. I, and my friends--my posse, entourage, if you will--in my friend's black 1990 Hyundai Excel hatchback. We pulled up beside each other, right in front of the Castner Knott. I could tell immediately this was someone who was going to be a big part of my life for a long time. Or at least four or five months.

OK, truth is, I couldn't really tell much about her at all. It was dark and we weren't directly under a street light. So we all agreed to meet up across the street inside the McDonald's. That's where I first saw her jet black hair, cute slightly-oversized nose, and... some-colored eyes (green, I think). I got her number, which seemed a whole lot easier to do then. And the rest, as they say, is a blog entry.

Three memories stand out more than others from my time with Kara. The first concerns the making out, the cornerstone of any strong relationship. She had an active tongue. She was an aggressive kisser, to the point that I had to be aggressive back, almost in self-defense, or fear being choked to death.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't bad. I mean, it was making out, after all. But sometimes it seemed like she was checking around for a loose crown in there or something.

To prove it wasn't bad, one night as we were driving around in my burgundy 1989 Mustang she directed me to a place she referred to as Skyline. A place she described as a lookout point where people went to make out. Well, I couldn't imagine a better idea. Unless maybe we would be playing Sega after making out.

We drove down a road I'd never been before, crossed an intersection, and continued along the road, up a hill and thru some trees. We wound up in an empty parking lot next to a large building. Sure enough, down below the lights of the city could be seen. As could the buildings of the local mental facility. Nevertheless, we began.

Maybe ten minutes later those all-too-familiar blue lights began flashing behind us. The officer knocked on the window and asked me to step out of the car. Suffice it to say I never went back there again. Those are memories you can't replace.

The other thing I remember about Kara was that her mother really liked me. So much that after Kara and I weren't dating anymore, but still in touch from time-to-time, her mother would call me at work to chat. I didn't mind it. It was just different. The only time in my dating life anything like that happened.

I think her mother always wanted us to get back together. But we never did. I still remember where her parents lived. They still live there, to this day. I just googled it. I recommend googling at least one person per day, just to stay in practice.

It seems I went thru a phase where either the girls liked me and the mothers didn't, or vice versa. Then, of course, there was the time where neither the girl nor her mother liked me. That was fun.

But that's another story for another nostalgic edition of the Ex-Files. So until next time, uh, word to ya mother.

"Tomorrow we can drive around this town, and let the cops chase us around..."


  1. At least Frank and Estelle weren't in the van next to you.

    We did our "Crusin" on the town square and if it was really special, would lead a rat race to the "twin bridges", then pair off. I only went parking once, in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a dirt road. And yes, a cop showed up. I came home beet red, but virtue intact. I had a 1972 Mercury Montego with perfect chrome. A thing of beauty. Now I just crank up Meatloaf's "Paradise By the Dashboard Lights" in my minivan. *sigh*

  2. So you were one of those boys who went cruising?

    Love the part about the kissing--very true--have stories, yuck...

    and "the rest as they say is a blog entry."

    Thought you didn't google, Bone, thought that was one of my faults :-)

  3. So after this weekend, YOU'RE going to be the last single cousin!

    A guy that I made out with (I didn't date him, just kissed him) was one of those aggressive kissers. A real tonsil-hockey player. I just tried to google him, but there's evidently a professional poker player of the same name. I didn't bother to search 45 pages of results...

  4. Ahhhh.... sweet childhood romances.

    Wait - you were... like.... 25 in 1993, right? ;)

    Okay, okay, I'll stop.

    We never had any look outs like that here in Sacramento. I'm sure that had to have been one, right? Maybe there are just too many lights here? No hills high enough? Who knows.

  5. Dorothy: "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."

    We had a town square, too, in the smaller town I was actually from. It changed routes over the years, but at different times included around the Sonic, thru the Winn-Dixie parking lot, thru the Wal-Mart parking lot, around the Texaco station, and around the town square.

    Pia: Yes. I was a Grease character, born a generation too late.

    I only google when I don't have a girl here. Hmm, scratch that. It was a joke. Really.

    Lass: That would be me. And I cannot express to you how wonderful and rewarding it is to go to family gatherings, weddings, and holidays as the last remaining single cousin.

    I hope that you're able to reconnect with Guy Lafleur someday.

    Blondie: I was twenty! Good question though. How old is too old to go parking? I'd say probably if you're 27 or 28 years old and still having to find places to go so you can be alone...

  6. Psh.... I'd go parking now if I had someone to park with! Except you say that 28 is the age limit... and I'm only 24. So I guess I'm in the clear.

    I'm interested now. I want to go parking. This is crap. I need to go find a look out.

    It's beer:30.... excuse my rambling. :)


  7. I was available to be your date for the wedding....why didn't you call me??? ;)

    Oh yea, the making out getting caught by the cops routine. That's fun.

    We used to cruise the "circuit" which was a loop around downtown. No one does it anymore. But, that's where people hoped to hook up with other people. Though they weren't the most upstanding individuals in the area.

    Hope you had a super time at the wedding. I love weddings.

  8. Went parking in a church parking lot once. Do you think that's like an mega-sin? I'll just be glad it wasn't lightening that night!

    There's not a mall in the city where you grew up. Did you drive to the next "big" city? ;o)

  9. At least you've dated girls before. It took me 31 years to find a girl who would go out with me... the wait has been worth it though.


    In other news, I checked our stats last month and our show hit an all time high of 3,500 downloads!

    We need to do another show on women and dating, because that seemed like the most popular one we've done "How do you know when you're on a date?" LOL

    Good times... Have fun in ATL and I'll see you next week.

  10. We have TONS of those lookouts in the foreign land up the upper penninsula of Michigan. Cops don't even bother anymore, there's not enough cops around to worry about it.

  11. i had that heppen to me once in my 1966 red mustang except i was at a park after hours and the officer kept asking me "miss, do you want to be with this boy!?" i kept telling him yes and blushing. oh wehn a good girl goes wrong. ;)

    aggressive tongue kissers kind of give me the heebies.

  12. You're never too old to go parking? who ever said such a thing? ;)

    We did the 'cruising' thing in high school, though only God knows why. You could find some strange things on Greenville Ave.

    We have this park here that's right next to National Airport where the planes essentially land right over top of you. It's a BIG make out place. How do I know? Um... Research for an article I'm writing. Yes, research, that's it!

  13. I grew up near Tampa FL so the big make out spot was the Courtney Campbell Causway...not that there was anything good to look at (who's looking at anything anyway?) but it was close.
    Only had the cops show up was New Year's Eve and we were there with a few other folks. Our intent was to pop open a bottle of wine that my friend brought from her parent's home brew at 12am... the cop showed up about 11:30 and said that since we had the wine we had to leave...if she hadn't admitted that we had any alcohol we could have stayed! And then she goes and pours out the wine... so no wine and no spot on the beach either!

    I'll be blogging about the camping trip...of course.

  14. Blondie: Yeah, I think you're in the clear. Happy parking ;-)

    Carnealian: Oh, I didn't figure you'd be recovered from the Buffett concert ;-)

    Weddings always make me want to get married.

    GroovieChick: Yes, you may as well have stolen money from the offering plate.

    Yes, the next big city. You people know way too much about my life :)

    Java: Yeah, we'll have to make sure that our LA correspondent is able to do a call-in on that topic. And that we can, um, secure the studio for the evening.

    Jen: Yeah, I don't see why it's a big deal. Doesn't the world have much bigger problems than two kids in a car making out.

    Ms. Sizzle: Do you want to be with this boy? lol That seems like an odd thing for him to say. Did he think you were being violated or something?

    '66 Mustang. Sweet. Now I could do some things with that.

    Carmen: Yeah, I've heard that about airports. Wish I lived near one. What a great pick-up line. "Wanna go watch the planes land?"

    Renee: Ah, the CCC. You know, I almost adopted a mile of that one time. I would have cleaned it up.

  15. I do so love a good dating story. You and I are tag-teaming it for the Ex-files. :)
    I have cruising and make-out stories too but not from my hometown. Um, we didn't really have a town square, or I lived on the other side of town without one. Not sure which. Parking/makeout stories would definitely be from living in NC, and my current town is HUGE on cruising.


  16. Circe: I think we're doing a fine job.

    I guess when I run out of girls I dated for more than a month, I can go back and do girls I only went out with once or twice.