Useless Knowledge

boo' ty li cious (adj.) [booty, buttocks + delicious, tasty.] sexually attractive, esp. in the buttocks.

If I had to use one word to sum up my birthday weekend, that would be it. Although not for reasons you might think. From that definition, I can't help but be reminded of Forrest Gump. ("Bit me right in the buttocks.")

First, let me say thank you for all the birthday wishes, comments, cards, ecards, text messages, IM's, and phone calls. Clearly, I've tried to make it as easy as possible for you to wish me a happy birthday :)

Back to my weekend. Hung out with my old roomate Friday night. Ended up in Nashville Saturday night, where it snowed!! Sure, it wasn't a lot. Maybe a quarter to a half inch. But it was enough to cover most of the ground and the tops of cars and houses. Enough to make a few snowballs. Did mostly family stuff Sunday. I know, I know. Exciting. Pretty soon, you'll all have to have an emergency medical team on hand and an ambulance on call just to read my blog. ("Give me the bullet, Barney.")

There's a peacefulness to a freshly fallen snow. A thin blanket of snow putting a single finger to its lips, almost magically quieting the Earth. To fall from a point so high and to land without a sound... It's softer than soft. I find it inspirational. Driving thru quiet neighborhoods, my head was filled with wonderful prose. Ideas. Memories.

We played this Trivial Pursuit: DVD Pop Culture Edition 2 game Saturday night. For some reason, everyone wanted me on their team. Apparently, there's a widely held perception that I know a lot about pop culture. And apparently, that perception was accurate.

I always claim to have a lot of useless knowledge. But I have always said that half-jokingly. Well evidently, it's no joke. This became more and more apparent as the game wore on. I was answering questions about everything from Oscar de La Hoya to Monk to "Wanna Be Startin Somethin" to War Games. However, it was not until the "For The Win" question that it became ever so crystal clear that I know way too much. About nothing. The question asked, what word, inspired by Beyonce and meaning sexually attractive, became an official entry in the dictionary in 2002?

We all sat there for a few seconds of clueless silence. Finally, I said the only thing I could think of. The only word that popped into my head. Never dreaming it would be right. Everyone laughed.

They laughed even louder when the correct answer, my answer, popped up on the screen. I have way too much useless knowledge.

"And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me. I promise you, I promise you, I will..."