Thursday, February 23, 2006

Falling

One lesson learned from yesterday's post: Less is more.

Pia at Courting Destiny has been nominated for a Koufax Award for best writing. And no, she's not paying me to mention it. Far as I know. We have a NYGH relationship. She whets my appetite for New York. I give her daily synopses of General Hospital. Hopefully she'll never realize she's getting the short end of that stick. Now on with today's post...

The names you call me, I haven't heard in so long. You make me feel interesting. And good. I'm beaten. Broken. Torn and tattered. But somehow you see through all that. You see something. What is it that you see? Could you show me, so I will know that's still someone I could be?

I'm at the edge of a cliff. I have peeked over a time or two. You're at the bottom. I think I want to fall. I think you'll catch me. But what if you don't? What if you can't? What if you change your mind? I've taken this leap before. You might think it would get a little easier each time. But it gets harder instead. It feels safe here. But lonely. So I look again. I think I see your arms outstretched. Waiting for me.

Why do I feel like I'll be drawn to your lips the instant I see them? I think I want to watch you breathing. I think I want to feel your heart beat. I think I want to know. I think way too much.

Wait. Don't leave now.

Don't ever...

"Darkness hangs overhead. Close to the point where angels fear to tread. I close my eyes and think of you instead. And pray you'll be here soon..."

19 comments:

  1. I have no words.

    Just know that if she didn't/doesn't fall for you, I think she must be the most blind and ignorant woman to walk the earth.

    You deserve the moon, the stars, the universe.

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  2. This is torture. Have you blogged about this person before? If so, can you provide a link to the story? I probably shouldn't accuse you of torturing me since I pretty much am always hinting at the most scandalous parts of my life and never giving any details, but still....

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  3. Nice post man. Been there. It does get harder, even though that makes a no sense.
    But then when have matters of the heart made any sense at all?

    Good luck with her. Don't let her slip away.

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  4. You and Nick...the last two romantics in North America.

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  5. she's a lucky, lucky girl. does she realize? do you?

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  6. A really wise old man (mine) once told me: "there are two types of people in the world, those that will and those that want...the world and it's goods will always belong to those who will"

    My 2 cents, for which I expect change, is this: Failure hurts, falling hurts, and getting back up is never easy, Napoleon Bonaparte wrote "It is better to dare mighty things, and fail, than to take rank with those poor timid spirits who know neither victory nor defeat" So are you timid? Do you want to live a life of wondering or are you ready to dare?

    Vince Vaughn said it in Swingers "you are money", and she's this poor little bunny rabbit and you've got claws, and teeth...if you want her...go for it! You stand to gain so much and ultimately lose so little. And at the end of the day do you want to go to bed with the girl, or your loneliness, your pride and your fear.

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  7. Ahhh, Swingers is SO F*ING MONEY. What a great movie. You should watch and rewatch Swingers...

    "I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man," Bone.

    Yes, I'm tired and have had (some) wine. *wow* do you think Indiana would marry me? Really, I haven't even been to their web site yet...could be a chic.

    This is a beautifully well written post, but I gotta tell ya, I have learned in my own life that sometimes that thing we think we want so much, was never what would have made us happy had we attained it. It wasn't what it appeared to be, only our eyes had painted it - "la vie en rose." Sometimes it's hard to see that from within a situation - though it can be so clear to everyone around us. I think things do happen for a reason. Sometimes it's to save us from ourselves. Then time offers perspective, making us thankful for that which is ahead, and what we have left behind.

    By the way - the girl VV's friend Mikey thought he wanted so much in Swingers - turns out he didn't after all. All it took was time and a little perspective...oh and someone who was a little better suited for him in the end. Great flick, by the way.

    I don't what this all means. But, Bone, I know this. You are so f*ing money...and you don't even know it. :)

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  8. Indiana beat me to it.

    Swingers indeed.

    You're game is fierce.

    "Son if you're scared of her, she must be terrified by you" -my father

    Go get her man.

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  9. Your writing always stops me in my tracks.

    Take the leap, Sir Bone. If this girl is as wonderful as you say she is...She will catch you and hold on forever!!!

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  10. Love is a chance that is always worth taking.

    You never fail to amaze me with your writting. You awaken my mind and emotions with many of your post. Thanks for sharing your heart and thoughts. There is not a day that passes that I do not check your blog for new post.

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  11. tissue....i need a tissue....

    you will never know, until you try.

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  12. that was me, you know crying with the tissue thing, I dont know why it posted as anon....

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  13. Maybe instead of jumping, you should climb down the cliff slowly. Find out if that's really the person you think it is at the bottom waiting to catch you.

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  14. Good (Sunday) Morning,
    Hope you are OK and everything is going smoothly for you.

    Nothing new around this end of the country. Cold, but sun is out.

    Hope Ms Right comes along soon, you sound like you're lonely.

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  15. Darlin- that was just beautiful!!! Is it ok to pretend that the love of my life might say those exact words to me??
    You are such a gifted writer... Bless your little heart...

    FYI, SEC Championship March 9-12 Nashville.... BRING IT ON BAMA BOY!! Regardless if my mighty Vols win the whole thing or not, we are still going dancing with the big boys this year!

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  16. Your posts lately have been really lovely albeit quite serious. I'm enjoying the change of pace even though I'm sure you're hurting. Whoever this girl or woman is, she seems to have missed out on an awesome person.

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  17. Sorta let the comments get away from me on this one. I'll try and get back to responding to each person in the next post.

    Thank you all for the comments, compliments, and just for reading.

    I'm not depressed. Not lonely. Much closer to the opposite actually. Just inspired.

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