Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Who doesn't want to wear the ribbon?!

Wal-Mart Halts Singles Shopping

(excerpt) ...One dissatisfied customer was Leslie Winton, 27, who found out on her way into the store that Singles Shopping is no more. "This is very disappointing," she said. "I drove up from Franklin County to be here. I've been thinking about it all week." (end excerpt)

Well, we just can't have that. Email me ;-)

I guess now it's back to meet-an-inmate.com and RussianBrides.com. Oh, I'm kidding. Those aren't real sites. Oh, they are? Well, I've never visited them.... (No offense, Svetlana.) Well, OK, they aren't in my favorites though.

Nocturnal Phantasm 705B
I've been on an incredible streak of remembering dreams lately. Last night, I dreamed I was either a coach or a teacher in high school. I was sitting at the front of a classroom, next to my high school health teacher, who was also the girls varsity basketball coach for a couple of years. It was a regular class, with probably about fifty students in it. But once we started to teach, it was like he was suddenly a football coach, and I was an assistant, even though the students remained the same. He brought in a newspaper which had all the scores from the previous Friday night's games, and my assignment was to read the articles or recaps of three games, and then give a summary of each.

Random thoughts
I fed Pablo a couple of pieces of a Fruity Pebble yesterday. He seems to be doing OK, although I think he might have had a sugar high. He was darting all over his tank.

My fantasy baseball team is up to 3rd place, which is the highest I've been all year. Click on the link over to the right if you'd like to see. But hurry, I probably won't be there for long.

When you get behind a car that is emitting lots of unpleasant, toxic exhaust, do you stick your nose in your shirt and take a breath? I do. I guess I prefer the combination of human perspiration, Tag body spray, and Mitchum, to whatever is coming from the car in front of me. I do that in the bathroom too, if someone has defiled it. But it only works well for like the first breath or two.

Yesterday, I killed one of these giant hopping bugs in the kitchen. I smothered it with some Raid. Then once it was dead, I caught myself doing a victory dance, taunting the deceased with sort of a pro wrestling/NFL end zone celebration combination. Why do I do that? Perhaps I have some pent up energy. Too bad there was no video camera.

If I ever become a porn star, I think my name will be Manuel Labor. I will typically be a construction worker or something, glistening with sweat.

"Her hat is hanging by the door, the one she bought in Mexico. It blocked the wind, it stopped the rain. She'd never leave that one. So she can't be really gone..."

12 comments:

  1. Since I don't shop at Wal-Mart, I really have no opinion. I'm all about Tar-jay baybay!

    I used to remember my dreams pretty vividly. But not so much lately. Strange...

    Fish on a sugar high. Hmmm. We need video evidence. And of the bug-killing dance, and of your porn-star audition tape...

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  2. Manual Labor... genius...

    You know how your supposed to take the name of your first pet and the street you lived on growing up to come up with your porn star name?

    I'm "Princess Avenue"...

    Manual Labor is FAR more clever.

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  3. Oh, since we discussed this the other day, I guess I should post my porn name for everyone's enjoyment:

    Johnny Love

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  4. Lass: I'll have to grow a cheesy moustache before the audition tape. The bug-killing celebration made me laugh at myself. I was like, "Oh yeeeeaah! Sucker!" And singing the Cops theme, too.

    OC girl: Hmm, I'm not sure I remember my first pet, but best I can remember, my name would be Sparky Hillside. Thanks, Princess ;-)

    J-Mo: That reminds me of Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati.

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  5. Oh and bonus points for you if you got the Seinfeld reference in the title ;-)

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  6. Oh my...where to start? I'm laughing the most from the image of your 'Bug Killing Dance'...really, where is the video evidence of this phenomenon? You can post video links on blogs I hear...hint, hint. :-)

    The Walmart Singles Program was always going to be short-lived. I can't imagine anyone in their corporate legal department showing a green light for it, can you? I mean, what if (god forbid) someone with a ribbon starts talking with another patron and that person stalks the person or physically harms the person? Even if something happened off Walmart's premise's lawsuits could still be filed - it's not a good situation.

    Nice porn name - very clever. I'm saying it aloud with little bit of a French accent, rolling the 'r' in the last name to make it sound a bit more classy. Try it. :-)

    If I follow the traditional route and get my porn star name as OC Girl mentioned, my name would be...

    wait for it....

    Pretty Kitty Lower Bottom

    Beat that. :-)

    Hope you have a great day!

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  7. Pretty Kitty Lower Bottom. LOL

    I believe you now have a new nickname ;-)

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  8. manual labor meet savannah falls--my computer. Sounded better than Savannhah Rises; other things were too obvious.

    Oh I love having a truly sick mind, thanks for the great comment, and your blog which always makes me laugh

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  9. I thought I was the only one that did the end-zone dance after some righteous insect-killing . . .

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  10. Tulsa Cheyenne...yeah, not so great a name...:(

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  11. How's Pablo feeling today? Still on a sugar high?

    Pretty Kitty Lower Bottom could be my nickname - but we may need to discuss this bug killing end zone dance video idea...

    If I used our dog's name instead of my first cat's name my name would be Snoopy Lower Bottom - glad we didn't name him Droopy or Harry.

    :-)

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  12. Pablo seems to be doing fine. Not showing any effects from the Fruity Pebble incident. Thanks for asking, Snoop Kitty Kitty.

    He says "hello" to everyone :-)

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