Played tennis for a couple of hours last night. It was so humid, like a rainforest. A couple of times, I thought I saw a tse-tse fly. Too bad, I could've busted out my Steve-O thong and done an impromptu episode of the Wild Boyz. Anyway, when I got home, around 10:45, I couldn't find my wallet. Turns out I had left it in Java's car. Augh!! Why must there always be a problem? Anyway, big thanks to Java. We scheduled a late-night rendezvous (Note to self: Change previous phrase before publishing, as it doesn't sound ultra hetero) and made the drop halfway between my bachelor pad and his fortress of privacy. I had to have my wallet. Why? I'll let my friend George Costanza explain:
"Because important things go in a case. You got a skull for your brain, a plastic sleeve for your comb, and a wallet for your money. This is an organizer, a secretary, and a friend."
J
Conversation I had this morning...
Her: He's from Nigeria. What country is that?
Me: Uh, Nigeria is a country.
Her: Huh? Oh, maybe he said he's from Africa. What country would that be?
Me: Africa's a continent.
Her: I always get those mixed up. Well, what country do we live in?
Me: United States... of America. Man, I wish I was recording this conversation.
Her: Well, what is South America then?
Me: That's a continent.
Her: So what country is Africa?
Me: Africa's a continent. Nigeria is a country in Africa.
Her: Nigeria can't be a country. Are you sure?
Me: Fairly.
Her: Well, what state is it then?
Me: I don't think they have states.
Her: Man, I suck at geography. If I ever see Jay Leno coming, I'm walking the other way. Ask me some questions.
Me: Uhh, who is Vice President of the United States?
Her: Oh, I know that one, Dick Cheney.
Me: Who ran against George Bush in the last Presidential election?
Her: Al Gore.
Me: Nope.
Her: It was too Al Gore!
Me: John Kerry.
Her: Oh. Well that's who I was picturing in my mind.
Me: OK, who just announced she is retiring from the Supreme Court?
Her: Condaleeza Rice.
Me: No. Sandra Day O'Connor.
Her: I thought that was a singer.
Me: That's Sinead O'Connor.
Her: Ask me something that doesn't have to do with court.
Me: OK, what is the capital of-
Her: (interrupting) I don't know. No, go ahead.
Me: What is the capital of Texas?
Her: Dallas.
Me: No.
Her: Houston.
Me: No.
Her: San Antonio.
Me: No.
Her: Fort Worth.
Me: No.
Her: I don't know.
Me: Austin.
Her: Aww, man. OK. Let me ask you some. What is the day that will live in in..famy? (laughing) I almost said infantry.
Blogathon 2005
Be sure to stop over and support Kerry at Webgrits during the upcoming blogathon for charity. Or you might want to sign up yourself at blogathon.org. Hope you all have a great weekend!
"Mister, can you take me into Little Rock? I'll buy the coffee and I'll fill your truck. I'll listen all night if you wanna talk. Just don't mention Memphis..."
Wait a sec: Nigeria's not a continent, and Africa's not a country?
ReplyDeleteWasn't it Sineadad O'Connor who just resigned?
Oh confuse me please.
Oh, good grief...could you see old Sandra with a shaved head ripping up pictures of the Pope?
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the Blogathon plug - I need all the help I can get :)
I love love love the conversation... Reminds me of Overheard in NY
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend!
pia: Was that you i was talking to? :-)
ReplyDeletekerry: Anytime. I checked out your campaign. Looks like you are doing well so far. I would try it, but seeing as how I didn't write a single word during NaNoWriMo...
oc girl: Thanks for the link. Funny stuff. Happy weekend to you, too!
That was great!! :-) Not that I'm laughing about anyone's lack of knowledge...but hey, it's great blog fodder. It had me chuckling - enough that the kitties looked up and are just now re-settling back in for their long summer nap.
ReplyDeleteLass: Who's to say I didn't take her out? ;-)
ReplyDeleteCindy: Glad you enjoyed the story. Sorry to have woken your cute kitties. Don't forget Cute Kitten Monday!
it's not a purse... it's a European carry all.
ReplyDeleteWoooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh dear! I'm, um, sorry that you had to go through that. Being from Austin I really had to cringe. It's kind of like the equivalent of having a conversation with my 3 year old, except not really b/c at least she knows about Austin, Texas and the USA and what they are and where we live.
ReplyDeleteIf you took her out, I guess it's kind of like the equivalent of the Julie Brown song from the 80's talking about the kind of men she likes - not the VJ Julie Brown but the annoying white one:
I like 'em big and stupid,
I like 'em big and...
Real dumb
All about the amusement factor and not getting anything intellectual out of it. Yeah, reading the whole thing kind of brought my IQ down a few points. My guess was she was all about the good looks and not exactly the "good personality".
By the way...been here before from Cindy's - a mutual blog friend.
Oh, and shouldn't you update? Your profile location says Alabama but your posts reference places here in Austin. So which is it?
ReplyDeleteNo, no, nothing like that. She's just not good on current events and geography. She even told me to ask her geography questions. She's a sweet girl, great sense of humor, and a good sport about all of this.
ReplyDeleteI'm in Alabama. Didn't realize I was making Austin references :-)
Thanks for stopping by.
That is way too funny then b/c there is a town outside of Austin by about 100 or so miles called LaGrange that everyone knows about around here and in downtown Austin in the heart of the original Austin party district (6th street) we have a Buffalo Billiards which is where part of Tommy Lee Jones last movie with Cedric the Entertainer was filmed. Of course Huntsville, TX is where the huge prison is here. So naturally, I could have SWORN your were talking about Austin. LOL!
ReplyDeleteYou have a fun blog.
That is funny. I knew there was a Huntsville, Texas, so I figured that's where some of the confusion was coming from. Love Buffalo Billiards, but I go to the one in Nashville ;-)
ReplyDelete