Played tennis for a couple of hours last night. It was so humid, like a rainforest. A couple of times, I thought I saw a tse-tse fly. Too bad, I could've busted out my Steve-O thong and done an impromptu episode of the Wild Boyz. Anyway, when I got home, around 10:45, I couldn't find my wallet. Turns out I had left it in Java's car. Augh!! Why must there always be a problem? Anyway, big thanks to Java. We scheduled a late-night rendezvous (Note to self: Change previous phrase before publishing, as it doesn't sound ultra hetero) and made the drop halfway between my bachelor pad and his fortress of privacy. I had to have my wallet. Why? I'll let my friend George Costanza explain:
"Because important things go in a case. You got a skull for your brain, a plastic sleeve for your comb, and a wallet for your money. This is an organizer, a secretary, and a friend."
Conversation I had this morning...
Her: He's from Nigeria. What country is that?
Me: Uh, Nigeria is a country.
Her: Huh? Oh, maybe he said he's from Africa. What country would that be?
Me: Africa's a continent.
Her: I always get those mixed up. Well, what country do we live in?
Me: United States... of America. Man, I wish I was recording this conversation.
Her: Well, what is South America then?
Me: That's a continent.
Her: So what country is Africa?
Me: Africa's a continent. Nigeria is a country in Africa.
Her: Nigeria can't be a country. Are you sure?
Her: Well, what state is it then?
Me: I don't think they have states.
Her: Man, I suck at geography. If I ever see Jay Leno coming, I'm walking the other way. Ask me some questions.
Me: Uhh, who is Vice President of the United States?
Her: Oh, I know that one, Dick Cheney.
Me: Who ran against George Bush in the last Presidential election?
Her: Al Gore.
Her: It was too Al Gore!
Me: John Kerry.
Her: Oh. Well that's who I was picturing in my mind.
Me: OK, who just announced she is retiring from the Supreme Court?
Her: Condaleeza Rice.
Me: No. Sandra Day O'Connor.
Her: I thought that was a singer.
Me: That's Sinead O'Connor.
Her: Ask me something that doesn't have to do with court.
Me: OK, what is the capital of-
Her: (interrupting) I don't know. No, go ahead.
Me: What is the capital of Texas?
Her: San Antonio.
Her: Fort Worth.
Her: I don't know.
Her: Aww, man. OK. Let me ask you some. What is the day that will live in in..famy? (laughing) I almost said infantry.
Be sure to stop over and support Kerry at Webgrits during the upcoming blogathon for charity. Or you might want to sign up yourself at blogathon.org. Hope you all have a great weekend!
"Mister, can you take me into Little Rock? I'll buy the coffee and I'll fill your truck. I'll listen all night if you wanna talk. Just don't mention Memphis..."