"I need to tell you something, before you hear it from someone else."
An ex-girlfriend of mine said this to me the other day. Just out of the blue. I'm thinking, "Oh crap! What could it be?" My first thought was that she was pregnant. She's not. (Whew.) But really, when someone makes that statement to you, can it be anything but bad?
OK, so much for the random insert. In other news, Rick Springfield is returning to General Hospital. Thanks to Pia for the heads-up on that. Now on with today's entry...
Once upon a time in the vast annals of the blogosphere, a single, straight male from parts unknown began to blog. Armed with a rather expansive knowledge of song lyrics and an affinity for Seinfeld... Er, anyway, I have wanted to do this for awhile. So tonight I scanned thru my archives to find what I hope are some of my better posts. I'm planning to put a "Selected Posts" section on my sidebar linking to a few of these. Is it vain to do this? I think it's a good way for newer readers to get to know me. Also, for many months after I started blogging, I had just a few readers, and even fewer comments. So this is a way to reintroduce a few of those scarcely read posts. Here are some of the ones I'm thinking of including. A sampling of Bone, if you will:
Urinalysis (Oct. '05)
Little Mary Phagan (Oct. '05)
The Tradition (Aug. '05)
Unmelted Snow (Aug. '05)
When Two Become One (Aug. '05)
The Box (Aug. '05)
The First Girl I Ever Called (Jul. '05)
My Old Man (Jul. '05)
LaGrange (Jul. '05)
That City (Jun. '05)
Slow Down (May '05)
Opryland Historical Tours (Apr. '05)
Know When To Hold 'Em (Apr. '05)
Days Like This (Aug. '04)
Invaluable Moments (Jul. '04)
Friends and Doughnuts (Dec. '03)
OK, Charlize is on Letterman. So I'm off to watch her...
"So you stole my world. Now I'm just a phony. Remembering the girl, leaves me down and lonely. Send it in a letter. Make yourself feel better..."
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
The tin man
(Note: This entry is not about her. Just wanted to clarify that.)
"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."
Some people have a problem opening up. Some stay emotionally detached. I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think what a sad life that must be. But perhaps I am the one with the problem. It has almost always been easy for me to open up. To express my feelings. What's in my heart. Too easy, I'm beginning to think.
When you open yourself up, and allow someone else to come inside, there's almost no limit to the damage they can do. So I can understand all those people who don't let anyone in, who treat it all as just a game. I even tried that for awhile. I'm not sure if it was by choice, or some sort of defense mechanism. Probably a bit of both, but more the latter. I did that for a couple of years. I dated girls, but kept myself from getting attached. Then when something happened, it honestly didn't bother me.
I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think how sad it must be to never feel. Now? I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe there was a time when they did open up. Gave everything they had. And lost it.
Now here I sit. Empty. Jaded. Doubting my own instincts.
When I looked at her, for the first time in my life, I saw the future. At least... I thought I did. It seemed so clear. So real. How can a heart be so badly mistaken?
I'd been wrong before. And I'm sure I'll be wrong again.
But I hope that I won't be that wrong anymore.
"We call them weak, who are unable to resist, the slightest chance love might exist. And for that, forsake it all..."
"As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."
Some people have a problem opening up. Some stay emotionally detached. I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think what a sad life that must be. But perhaps I am the one with the problem. It has almost always been easy for me to open up. To express my feelings. What's in my heart. Too easy, I'm beginning to think.
When you open yourself up, and allow someone else to come inside, there's almost no limit to the damage they can do. So I can understand all those people who don't let anyone in, who treat it all as just a game. I even tried that for awhile. I'm not sure if it was by choice, or some sort of defense mechanism. Probably a bit of both, but more the latter. I did that for a couple of years. I dated girls, but kept myself from getting attached. Then when something happened, it honestly didn't bother me.
I used to feel sorry for those people. I used to think how sad it must be to never feel. Now? I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe there was a time when they did open up. Gave everything they had. And lost it.
Now here I sit. Empty. Jaded. Doubting my own instincts.
When I looked at her, for the first time in my life, I saw the future. At least... I thought I did. It seemed so clear. So real. How can a heart be so badly mistaken?
I'd been wrong before. And I'm sure I'll be wrong again.
But I hope that I won't be that wrong anymore.
"We call them weak, who are unable to resist, the slightest chance love might exist. And for that, forsake it all..."
Sunday, November 27, 2005
The vacuum monologues
Thanks to Pia for mentioning me on her site the other day. I only wish that I would've had a better post up for people to see if they clicked over :-) If you haven't read Courting Destiny, you should check it out. I love her tales of New York, past and present. And her writing is truly splendid. Now, on with today's entry...
I push the loud, unwieldy contraption across the carpet, taking care to run it over every visible piece of dirt, dust, and debris. Trying to complete the task as quickly as possible. I hate loud noises. Vacuums, lawn mowers, anything that is loud. When I was little, and Mom would start to vacuum, I'd go to another room or outside. I hate yelling. I like music loud sometimes. But that's about it. I see a piece of something over by the recliner. I run the machine over it once, twice, three times. It's still there. I reach down to pick up the stubborn item, as if it is purposely not cooperating. I examine it as if trying to decide why it won't "go," then inexplicably decide to toss it back on the floor and give the vacuum one more chance...
I really need help cleaning. Not cleaning so much. I can do (most) all the tasks. I just don't know what to do, or how often to do it. I noticed some dust the other day on the little baseboards at the bottom of the wall. I mean, how often do you clean those? What about the refrigerator? How often do you clean the inside of it? And dusting. Is it OK to dust shelves with a feather duster, or should I take all the items off and spray it with Endust everytime? (Lass, remember when you made this offer?) Someone should write a cleaning manual or something, sort of like a car maintenance schedule. Daily tasks, every other day, bi-weekly, weekly, monthly, etc.
"Any fashion, grooming, cooking, cleaning, courting, whatever advice you need, I'm happy to throw in my two cents." Lass, remember when you made this offer? ;-)
Got called into work Saturday, the only blip on an otherwise wonderful, relaxing weekend. Sitting around yesterday, I realized Bunny had been home from South Carolina all week and I still hadn't seen her. So I called her and we went out to dinner at Oh Bryan's. (If only it was always that easy.) We went by Wal-Mart, then I brought her back here to show her my place. That actually gave me motivation to clean yesterday. After that, I went to hang out with some other friends. Ended up not getting home until a little after 5:00 this morning. So it was a good night. Or a bad night. Depending on your definition :-) I really needed to unwind, and that sure was a lot of unwinding. Although I'd never played pool like that before ;-)
I can scarcely read thru a blog entry anymore that I'm not reminded of something from some episode of Seinfeld. Not sure what that means, and don't want to analyze too deeply. "The Wink" was on the other night. Kramer tries to get an autographed birthday card back from a little boy in the hospital. A few lines:
Kramer: "Alright. What if I tell Paul O'Neill to hit a home run tomorrow, just for you?"
Kid: "Paul O'Neill would do that?"
Kramer: "For you, he would."
Kid: "Would he hit two home runs?"
Kramer: "Two? Uh.. sure kid, yeah. But then you gotta promise you'll do something for me."
Kid: "I know. Get out of this bed and walk again."
Kramer: "Yeah, that would be nice, but I really just need this card."
(later)
Kramer: "Oh, by the way, George. Tomorrow night, Paul O'Neill has to catch a fly ball in his hat."
OK, just finished up my shrimp lo mein and egg rolls. Gonna put the leftovers in the fridge and maybe get in bed early. As I was telling someone earlier this evening, when I was a kid, I hated leftovers. Now, as a bachelor, leftovers are like sacred treasure. Then after I said that, I wondered what exactly is sacred treasure. Oh well. My fortune tonight? "A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you." Oh yeah? Well, it better be pretty freakin' cheerful.
"We cannot live together. We cannot live apart. That's the situation. We've known it from the start. Everytime that I look at you, I can see the future..."
I push the loud, unwieldy contraption across the carpet, taking care to run it over every visible piece of dirt, dust, and debris. Trying to complete the task as quickly as possible. I hate loud noises. Vacuums, lawn mowers, anything that is loud. When I was little, and Mom would start to vacuum, I'd go to another room or outside. I hate yelling. I like music loud sometimes. But that's about it. I see a piece of something over by the recliner. I run the machine over it once, twice, three times. It's still there. I reach down to pick up the stubborn item, as if it is purposely not cooperating. I examine it as if trying to decide why it won't "go," then inexplicably decide to toss it back on the floor and give the vacuum one more chance...
I really need help cleaning. Not cleaning so much. I can do (most) all the tasks. I just don't know what to do, or how often to do it. I noticed some dust the other day on the little baseboards at the bottom of the wall. I mean, how often do you clean those? What about the refrigerator? How often do you clean the inside of it? And dusting. Is it OK to dust shelves with a feather duster, or should I take all the items off and spray it with Endust everytime? (Lass, remember when you made this offer?) Someone should write a cleaning manual or something, sort of like a car maintenance schedule. Daily tasks, every other day, bi-weekly, weekly, monthly, etc.
"Any fashion, grooming, cooking, cleaning, courting, whatever advice you need, I'm happy to throw in my two cents." Lass, remember when you made this offer? ;-)
Got called into work Saturday, the only blip on an otherwise wonderful, relaxing weekend. Sitting around yesterday, I realized Bunny had been home from South Carolina all week and I still hadn't seen her. So I called her and we went out to dinner at Oh Bryan's. (If only it was always that easy.) We went by Wal-Mart, then I brought her back here to show her my place. That actually gave me motivation to clean yesterday. After that, I went to hang out with some other friends. Ended up not getting home until a little after 5:00 this morning. So it was a good night. Or a bad night. Depending on your definition :-) I really needed to unwind, and that sure was a lot of unwinding. Although I'd never played pool like that before ;-)
I can scarcely read thru a blog entry anymore that I'm not reminded of something from some episode of Seinfeld. Not sure what that means, and don't want to analyze too deeply. "The Wink" was on the other night. Kramer tries to get an autographed birthday card back from a little boy in the hospital. A few lines:
Kramer: "Alright. What if I tell Paul O'Neill to hit a home run tomorrow, just for you?"
Kid: "Paul O'Neill would do that?"
Kramer: "For you, he would."
Kid: "Would he hit two home runs?"
Kramer: "Two? Uh.. sure kid, yeah. But then you gotta promise you'll do something for me."
Kid: "I know. Get out of this bed and walk again."
Kramer: "Yeah, that would be nice, but I really just need this card."
(later)
Kramer: "Oh, by the way, George. Tomorrow night, Paul O'Neill has to catch a fly ball in his hat."
OK, just finished up my shrimp lo mein and egg rolls. Gonna put the leftovers in the fridge and maybe get in bed early. As I was telling someone earlier this evening, when I was a kid, I hated leftovers. Now, as a bachelor, leftovers are like sacred treasure. Then after I said that, I wondered what exactly is sacred treasure. Oh well. My fortune tonight? "A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you." Oh yeah? Well, it better be pretty freakin' cheerful.
"We cannot live together. We cannot live apart. That's the situation. We've known it from the start. Everytime that I look at you, I can see the future..."
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Today, Thanksgiving. Tomorrow...
A new section of links has been added to the sidebar. Notice anything different? O:-)
I hope that you all had a good Thanksgiving. This year was a bit different for me, but I won't go into that. The food was good, had plenty to eat, and of course Mom sent home leftovers that I will be enjoying for the next few days.
This day always makes me think of so many things and brings to mind so many memories. I always think of Thanksgivings past. I think of family members who were here then, but now are gone. When I was a kid, I would always try to talk enough people into playing football out in the yard. After enough pestering, I could usually round up a handful of cousins and uncles for a game which always seemed too short to me. I think of those who can't be home for the holidays. I think of anyone who might spend this day alone, never seeing another person all day. I hope that there aren't very many people who experience that, but I am sure there are some. As wonderful and lively as the holidays are, I imagine that they can be very lonely and depressing for some. I hate that. Even today, I thought of a friend who might not have anywhere to go or anyone to spend Thanksgiving with, but did I call? I thought about it a couple of times, but just never did. When I was younger, I always looked forward to the seeing family aspect of the holidays. Even as I got into my teens, I would always try to get Mom to invite people over for Memorial Day, Labor Day, any holiday that most people get off of work.
Watched a little bit of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning. To me, that sort of signifies the beginning of the holiday season. Miracle On 34th Street was on TV this morning, too. My favorite Christmas movie. Watched most of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight. And of course, I watched football most all day. Would have been a much better day if the Cowboys kicker could make a freakin' 34-yard field goal! But anyway, the holidays are here. I enjoy being out amongst the crowds and shopping for Christmas. I like the decorations, the lights, Santa in the mall, the cold, the snow. (Not that we get much of the latter two.) I like it all. Everyone seems to be so busy and in such a hurry. It's easy to forget to stop and enjoy it. When I was a kid, Thanksgiving til Christmas seemed to take six months. Lately, it seems more like...
Today, Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, Christmas Eve. By the time I can reach out and grab it, I know it'll be already gone.
"By now in New York City, there's snow on the ground. And out in California, the sunshine's falling down. And maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights..."
I hope that you all had a good Thanksgiving. This year was a bit different for me, but I won't go into that. The food was good, had plenty to eat, and of course Mom sent home leftovers that I will be enjoying for the next few days.
This day always makes me think of so many things and brings to mind so many memories. I always think of Thanksgivings past. I think of family members who were here then, but now are gone. When I was a kid, I would always try to talk enough people into playing football out in the yard. After enough pestering, I could usually round up a handful of cousins and uncles for a game which always seemed too short to me. I think of those who can't be home for the holidays. I think of anyone who might spend this day alone, never seeing another person all day. I hope that there aren't very many people who experience that, but I am sure there are some. As wonderful and lively as the holidays are, I imagine that they can be very lonely and depressing for some. I hate that. Even today, I thought of a friend who might not have anywhere to go or anyone to spend Thanksgiving with, but did I call? I thought about it a couple of times, but just never did. When I was younger, I always looked forward to the seeing family aspect of the holidays. Even as I got into my teens, I would always try to get Mom to invite people over for Memorial Day, Labor Day, any holiday that most people get off of work.
Watched a little bit of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade this morning. To me, that sort of signifies the beginning of the holiday season. Miracle On 34th Street was on TV this morning, too. My favorite Christmas movie. Watched most of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonight. And of course, I watched football most all day. Would have been a much better day if the Cowboys kicker could make a freakin' 34-yard field goal! But anyway, the holidays are here. I enjoy being out amongst the crowds and shopping for Christmas. I like the decorations, the lights, Santa in the mall, the cold, the snow. (Not that we get much of the latter two.) I like it all. Everyone seems to be so busy and in such a hurry. It's easy to forget to stop and enjoy it. When I was a kid, Thanksgiving til Christmas seemed to take six months. Lately, it seems more like...
Today, Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, Christmas Eve. By the time I can reach out and grab it, I know it'll be already gone.
"By now in New York City, there's snow on the ground. And out in California, the sunshine's falling down. And maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights..."
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Lookie, lookie, lookie...
Look what I found: Robin Scorpio's blog (Yes! From General Hospital! Thank me later...)
And don't forget, the Seinfeld DVD's came out today! I'm sure there's a Seinfeld fan somewhere on your holiday list.
OK, I'm not quite sure where to start with today's story, so... I'll just start. I was chatting with a friend yesterday about nothing in particular, when the conversation suddenly took an interesting turn...
Her: "Did I tell you that my pest control boy asked me out, and then like three weeks later he came and sprayed and kissed me when he left? WTF?" (*NOTE: "WTF" is a common internet phrase, usually indication a state of disbelief or bewilderment brought about by an unexpected occurrence.)
Me: "Whoa! No you did not. That's hilarious. Can I blog that?"
Her: "I guess."
Me: "On the lips?"
Her: "With tongue!"
Me: "Wow! So are you doubling up on your pest control coverage now?"
Her: "You better believe it."
Me: "So did you go out with him?"
Her: "No."
Me: "It's kinda like on Seinfeld that time when Jerry dates his maid. She comes over, doesn't clean, they sleep together, and he pays her before she leaves."
Her: "Well, he does spray and we didn't sleep together."
Me: "So he asked you out, you didn't go, and he comes over to spray for bugs and just kisses you? I think I've seen stuff like this on the internet, www.eroticexterminators.com.
Meanwhile, in a town not too far away, I had stopped off at the grocery store this afternoon to pick up a few things. I was over in frozen foods, where I had just selected a frozen pizza and placed in my cart, when I noticed a lady looking right at me, almost like she knew me. "I hate to bother you," she said. "But there's a carton of vanilla ice cream on the top shelf way in the back," she continued, pointing. "Do you mind seeing if you could reach it for me?" Now, let me just say here, that we as men love situations like this. If a man says he doesn't, he's either lying, or just a jerk. As Seinfeld said, we all kinda think of ourselves as some sort of low-level superheroes in our own world. Anyhow, back to our story...
I sprang into action, seizing the desired frozen dairy product with little difficulty, and handing it to the fair maiden awaiting at my side. She thanked me, and I proceeded down the aisle, which I suddenly noticed was populated with several females. And they all seemed to be looking my way in admiration. (OK, so maybe I just imagined the "in admiration" part.) I know it's not that big of a deal, but hey, we can't all be kissing bandits. And those shelves are kind of high. And fairly deep. Not many tall, virile young men in the grocery store at 4 in the afternoon. Perhaps I'll start stopping by more often.
"There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be..."
And don't forget, the Seinfeld DVD's came out today! I'm sure there's a Seinfeld fan somewhere on your holiday list.
OK, I'm not quite sure where to start with today's story, so... I'll just start. I was chatting with a friend yesterday about nothing in particular, when the conversation suddenly took an interesting turn...
Her: "Did I tell you that my pest control boy asked me out, and then like three weeks later he came and sprayed and kissed me when he left? WTF?" (*NOTE: "WTF" is a common internet phrase, usually indication a state of disbelief or bewilderment brought about by an unexpected occurrence.)
Me: "Whoa! No you did not. That's hilarious. Can I blog that?"
Her: "I guess."
Me: "On the lips?"
Her: "With tongue!"
Me: "Wow! So are you doubling up on your pest control coverage now?"
Her: "You better believe it."
Me: "So did you go out with him?"
Her: "No."
Me: "It's kinda like on Seinfeld that time when Jerry dates his maid. She comes over, doesn't clean, they sleep together, and he pays her before she leaves."
Her: "Well, he does spray and we didn't sleep together."
Me: "So he asked you out, you didn't go, and he comes over to spray for bugs and just kisses you? I think I've seen stuff like this on the internet, www.eroticexterminators.com.
Meanwhile, in a town not too far away, I had stopped off at the grocery store this afternoon to pick up a few things. I was over in frozen foods, where I had just selected a frozen pizza and placed in my cart, when I noticed a lady looking right at me, almost like she knew me. "I hate to bother you," she said. "But there's a carton of vanilla ice cream on the top shelf way in the back," she continued, pointing. "Do you mind seeing if you could reach it for me?" Now, let me just say here, that we as men love situations like this. If a man says he doesn't, he's either lying, or just a jerk. As Seinfeld said, we all kinda think of ourselves as some sort of low-level superheroes in our own world. Anyhow, back to our story...
I sprang into action, seizing the desired frozen dairy product with little difficulty, and handing it to the fair maiden awaiting at my side. She thanked me, and I proceeded down the aisle, which I suddenly noticed was populated with several females. And they all seemed to be looking my way in admiration. (OK, so maybe I just imagined the "in admiration" part.) I know it's not that big of a deal, but hey, we can't all be kissing bandits. And those shelves are kind of high. And fairly deep. Not many tall, virile young men in the grocery store at 4 in the afternoon. Perhaps I'll start stopping by more often.
"There will be no white flag above my door. I'm in love, and always will be..."
Monday, November 21, 2005
The new look of IYROOBTY!
I suppose it's long past time for a new template. So here it is! I mean, you're looking at it. Much thanks to Lass for the template help, and to Dea for a wonderful job on the sunset image. Let me know what you think about the new look.
While sitting at my computer last Tuesday night, adorned in boxers and a plain white t-shirt, listening to the Alabama basketball game online (which now costs $3.95 per month on Yahoo Sports) , chatting with a couple of blog friends, and half paying attention to the CMA Awards on TV (what woman wouldn't want this?), I did which of the following:
a) began to peruse this site
b) continued to scratch myself
c) began to do some introspection
While any of the above would have been a good guess, the correct answer on this particular night is C. (Women and children may want to skip the rest of this paragraph.) Introspection. Defined as a reflective looking inward. An examination of one's own thoughts or feelings. The pervading feeling of the past few months in my life has been change. In almost every imaginable way. Lately, I find myself feeling out of place in certain situations where I used to feel so comfortable. I feel sort of like I've suddenly matured. Things that I found entertaining or funny just a few months or a year ago recently just seem to irritate me. I've rediscovered some old friends, and find myself spending a little more time at home. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that if a Friday or Saturday night went by that I didn't go out, it was like the worst possible thing in the world. Like I was missing out on something. Now, even though I'm still out most weekend nights, I don't mind a night at home now and then. I cherish it, actually. But then I think, I'm 32 years old and single. I need to be out meeting people, right? And then I wonder if I'm getting too comfortable being single. I really don't mind it most of the time. And it seems like the older I get, the more used to it I become, and I am more and more content with it. That scares me.
So all these changes. Where will they lead? I know that most of the changes, all of them actually, have been good things. I know that I am really blessed to have wonderful people in my life. I guess this was a really random post, with no clear point or ending. That's introspection for ya.
Next time I think I'll just scratch myself.
"I feel stupid, but it's somethin' that comes and goes. I've been changin'. Think it's funny how no one knows..."
While sitting at my computer last Tuesday night, adorned in boxers and a plain white t-shirt, listening to the Alabama basketball game online (which now costs $3.95 per month on Yahoo Sports) , chatting with a couple of blog friends, and half paying attention to the CMA Awards on TV (what woman wouldn't want this?), I did which of the following:
a) began to peruse this site
b) continued to scratch myself
c) began to do some introspection
While any of the above would have been a good guess, the correct answer on this particular night is C. (Women and children may want to skip the rest of this paragraph.) Introspection. Defined as a reflective looking inward. An examination of one's own thoughts or feelings. The pervading feeling of the past few months in my life has been change. In almost every imaginable way. Lately, I find myself feeling out of place in certain situations where I used to feel so comfortable. I feel sort of like I've suddenly matured. Things that I found entertaining or funny just a few months or a year ago recently just seem to irritate me. I've rediscovered some old friends, and find myself spending a little more time at home. I remember when I was younger, I used to think that if a Friday or Saturday night went by that I didn't go out, it was like the worst possible thing in the world. Like I was missing out on something. Now, even though I'm still out most weekend nights, I don't mind a night at home now and then. I cherish it, actually. But then I think, I'm 32 years old and single. I need to be out meeting people, right? And then I wonder if I'm getting too comfortable being single. I really don't mind it most of the time. And it seems like the older I get, the more used to it I become, and I am more and more content with it. That scares me.
So all these changes. Where will they lead? I know that most of the changes, all of them actually, have been good things. I know that I am really blessed to have wonderful people in my life. I guess this was a really random post, with no clear point or ending. That's introspection for ya.
Next time I think I'll just scratch myself.
"I feel stupid, but it's somethin' that comes and goes. I've been changin'. Think it's funny how no one knows..."
Friday, November 18, 2005
He's my Lex Luthor!
Today is my sister's birthday. So, even though I'm quite sure (and hopeful that) none of my family reads my blog, happy birthday, sis!
So Big Sweaty (or, Big Stinky, as a friendmistakenly called him recently) comes in today as I'm chewing gum. He apparently thinks I'm eating something. He looks at me and says, "You consume quite a bit, don't you?" I give him this strange what-are-you-talking-about look for a second, thinking (Chris Rock voice) "I know yo' super size extra value meal eatin white $&% ain't sayin' somebody else eats a lot!" So I'm completely silent, still giving him the look. Then he says, "Oh, or are you chewing gum?" I mumble, "Yeah."
What the freak?! I mean, seriously, the guy is round! He'd move a lot faster if he tucked his head into his chins, pulled in his arms and legs, and rolled from place to place. So, I've come to the conclusion that Big Sweaty is my Newman. My Lex Luthor. (Not to be confused with Lex Luger.) I just hope those aren't kryptonite-laced twinkies he's been devouring.
(From episode #144, "The Andrea Doria")
"Newman is my sworn enemy. And he lives down the hall from my home. My home, Elaine! Where I sleep. Where I come to play with my toys."
More A Day in the Life of Bone...
So my doorbell rings this afternoon. I run downstairs and open the door to find this somewhat chubby kid on a bicycle there. He's kind of out of breath as he asks, "Is Rusty home?" Well, since I haven't lived here very long, I figure that Rusty must be a kid who lived here with the previous tenants. So I say, "Rusty doesn't live here anymore." Well you'd have thought the kid's puppy just died. Immediately, he gets this sad look on his face, like his best friend forever has moved away and didn't tell him. At this point, I'm not quite sure what to say. After a couple of seconds he starts looking around, looks up at the building, turns back to me and says, "Oh. I think I'm at the wrong door. Bye." Priceless.
Hope you all have exactly the kind of weekend that you need. And remember, thawing a turkey in the refrigerator takes approximately 24 hours per five pounds ;-) Roll Tide!
"Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get..."
So Big Sweaty (or, Big Stinky, as a friend
What the freak?! I mean, seriously, the guy is round! He'd move a lot faster if he tucked his head into his chins, pulled in his arms and legs, and rolled from place to place. So, I've come to the conclusion that Big Sweaty is my Newman. My Lex Luthor. (Not to be confused with Lex Luger.) I just hope those aren't kryptonite-laced twinkies he's been devouring.
(From episode #144, "The Andrea Doria")
"Newman is my sworn enemy. And he lives down the hall from my home. My home, Elaine! Where I sleep. Where I come to play with my toys."
More A Day in the Life of Bone...
So my doorbell rings this afternoon. I run downstairs and open the door to find this somewhat chubby kid on a bicycle there. He's kind of out of breath as he asks, "Is Rusty home?" Well, since I haven't lived here very long, I figure that Rusty must be a kid who lived here with the previous tenants. So I say, "Rusty doesn't live here anymore." Well you'd have thought the kid's puppy just died. Immediately, he gets this sad look on his face, like his best friend forever has moved away and didn't tell him. At this point, I'm not quite sure what to say. After a couple of seconds he starts looking around, looks up at the building, turns back to me and says, "Oh. I think I'm at the wrong door. Bye." Priceless.
Hope you all have exactly the kind of weekend that you need. And remember, thawing a turkey in the refrigerator takes approximately 24 hours per five pounds ;-) Roll Tide!
"Now it seems to me some fine things have been laid upon your table, but you only want the ones that you can't get..."
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Thursday Thirteen: 1st attempt
Thirteen Things from the mind of Bone...
1) This is my first Thursday 13. Thank (or blame) InterstellarLass and Carnealian. One woman can be persuasive enough. But two? Forget about it. I'm human. I'm flesh and blood. What mortal man can resist their charms ;-) Again, my first time, so be gentle...
2) Tomorrow is my sister's birthday. She will be 25. I can't believe she will be 25. You have no idea how stoked I am that she loves Alabama football. She listens to sports talk radio on her way home from work. Yes! My tribute to her (a little sappy) can be found here.
3) Went shopping last night to find her a gift. Walking thru the parking lot to my car, the weather was cold, the wind was blowing. Felt like a scene from one of those movies where it's Christmas time in New York, and everything is decorated, and everyone is shopping, and I'm either about to go ice skating or have just been...
4) Four is my favorite number.
5) I should have written this. I could have. Gah! I could have been a millionaire, Jerry. I could have been a Festivus millionaire! Check out some of my festivus knowledge here.
6) I really want to celebrate Festivus this year. I mean, but with other people this time. That's it! December 23rd. Festivus dinner, including the feats of strength, the airing of grievances, etc. at Bone's! You're all invited. I'll get the aluminum pole out of the crawl space.
7) I haven't watched General Hospital all week. Anyone know what's been going on?
8) The low temperature here this morning was supposed to be 25 degrees. That's the Big F. Fahrenheit. Not Celsius. Not Kelvin. And do you think Big Sweaty had the heat on when I got to work? No! He must really save on energy costs in the winter. I guess with the food though, it balances out.
9) Two of my favorite things about cold weather: Hot chocolate and wearing hats (boggans, beanies, whatever).
10) Even though our "cold" weather only lasts 3-4 months at most here, for some reason, I have roughly twice as many winter clothes as summer clothes.
11) If you want to read my thoughts on this year's CMA Awards, you may do so here.
12) Seven days until Thanksgiving. You've got to be freaking joking me!
13) Probably doing birthday dinner with my sister tomorrow night. Saturday is the Iron Bowl. Alabama versus Auburn. Roll Tide! (And if Bama and ND get matched up in a bowl game, Carnealian, it's on! Like Donkey Kong!) ;-)
There, that wasn't so bad... for my first time!
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. InterstellarLass
2. Jen
3. Texas_Ivy10
4. Carnealian
5. Sallwood
6. Renee
7.(leave your link in comments, I'll add you here!)
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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"Spinning on that dizzy edge, I kissed her face and kissed her head. And dreamed of all the different ways I had to make her glow..."
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