Monday, March 30, 2009

The weather is beautiful, wish you could forecast it

"Here is my card. It's got my cell number, my pager number, my home number, and my other pager number. I never take vacations, I never get sick, and I don't celebrate any major holidays." ~ DKS 2007

I was out sick today. Make note of that, as I take fewer sick days than Dwight K. Schrute. Anyway, it's just a cold and a sore throat or something. I'm sure I'll be back operating at my usual 30% of capacity in no time.

Anyway, in the midst of my sick day Office-viewing marathon, I uncharacteristically watched not one, but two local weather forecasts this evening. Have I ever told you how much I adore our local weather forecasters and the how-many-jellybeans-in-the-jar-like job they do of guessing, er, predicting the weather? I'm sure I've mentioned it a time or twelve. In passing, of course.

Well tonight, I observed two distinct differences in these two forecasts. (Warning: What follows may alarm and further confuse you.)

Channel A said there was a 40% chance of rain on Wednesday. They also said that the high on Friday would be 81.

Channel B said it would be sunny on Wednesday. And that the high on Friday would be 69.

Now if you've been practicing your flash cards, you've already figured out that is a twelve degree difference in the high temperature on Friday at two television stations located in the same city, probably not five miles from each other. And good luck figuring out if it's gonna rain Wednesday or not.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I pay no attention to the weather forecast.

"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful. My thoughts aren't too clear, but don't run away..."


  1. well on tuesday morning at 6:30 am in birmingham, it's lightening hard and fast. rain continuing today per ABC 33/40.

  2. Oh don't even get me started on OKC's weather people. HELLO, they predicted 3-5 inches of snow this past weekend. Do you know how much snow we received? NONE! ZERO! NOTHING!

    "I'm sure I'll be back operating at my usual 30% of capacity in no time."

    LOL! I'm sure you function on a daily basis at 35-45%.

  3. Yesterday, I went to return my rental car, and the skies were darkening. The man who drove me back to the dealership said, "I thought it was supposed to be a 10% chance of rain," to which I said, "I guess that just increased to %90."

    Personally, I wish it were more predictable. I hate being stuck on the highway with torrential downpours, near floods, or high winds and hail, all of which can happen at the drop of a hat sometimes in Houston.

  4. This post pretty much came full circle for me as you went from The Office to making mock of local television. Incredibly incredible.

  5. Saturday night I was driving home in the middle of some fabulous snow, which had been predicted as "a possible 1-7 inches." 'Cuz you know, there is nooooooooo difference between one and seven inches. 8-)

    Sadly though, that's not the best part. On my drive north earlier in the day, I kept hearing forecasts that Sunday was supposed to be sunny and 42, thus melting everything we were to receive Saturday. My entire drive Saturday night however, that forecast said we should expect another 3-6 inches of snow on Sunday.

    Madison got just over three inches of snow, and Sunday was almost 50 and sunny. Go figure.

    PS: I love the title of this post. It's hilarious! I was laughing at it before I even started reading the post :)

  6. Shelby - Ooo, nice nowcast! It looks like rain here. It's cloudy and gray and 55 degrees.

    OKChick - But I thought you had good weather people there. I thought Lord Gary was always right?

    Yeah, I originally had 40% capacity in there, but I thought that was being too liberal.

    Zeus - I don't mind the weather being unpredictable. I just wish they would admit they really don't know what it's going to do.

    Cami - Incredibly incredible.

    That's what she said :)

    TC - Thanks. Oh, if I had a dollar for everytime they called for snow here and we got nary a flurry, I'd be able to hire my own personal weatherman. Not that I'd be any better off then :)

  7. Let's just hope that thy at least have it right for Friday. Otherwise, I hope you bring your poncho! :)

  8. well you know my feelings on weather prediction. ;)

    What I don't like is how they predicted this terrible storm lasting for days and by noon the next day all our "up to 18" of snow" was melted away! But because of their prediction the folks holding my new dishwasher hostage haven't delivered it yet.

  9. I remember being around 11 years old and realizing the weatherman was an absolute idiot. Even children know it's a joke! They could save 4 minutes on every news program but just leaving this out. And they could replace it with things to be happy about and joyous for and how people are loving each other and living in community (and not just killing, raping, and terrorizing one another). Hey, if they do that, will you let me know? I never watch the local news, so I wouldn't otherwise know....

  10. ya not to sick to kick my butt on the word game though! I think youre cheating!

    Hope you feel better soon... and anything near 69-80, omg I would be thrilled! I can hardly wait to be riding with the top down (the cars not mine! *wink)

  11. Today it was supposed to as hot as hell. But it turned out pretty cool.

    I think weather(wo)men should go take a hike!

    30% functionality is good enough!


  12. In all my weather ravings I have never blamed the weather people basically because I won't watch or listen to it. or the paper--which is hard when you read a NY paper in SC

    Proud of you tee for even taking one day off. Having known you for almost four years now, I thought you would literally have to be on your deathbed

    It's healthy (pardon the bad kinda pun)to take sickdays.

  13. Mrs. R - Oh, it'll be fine. If it rains, we'll just move the party indoors.

    Renee - There were a couple times we decided not to golf because it was "supposed" to rain only to sit home and have it turn out to be a beautiful sunny day. So now I just stick my head outside. If it looks like rain, I'll wait for another day. If it doesn't, I'm playing.

    Ally - I had that very same thought! Except I was thinking we could have four more minutes of sports :) I'll be sure and let you know if there are any changes.

    Helene - Haha. That made me laugh. I don't cheat! Quit if I start losing, maybe :) But cheat, never.

    Gautami - A hike would be good. Of course, they would have no idea what to wear based on their conflicting weather forecasts.

    Pia - All I want is an admission that they don't know what it's going to do, those four minutes of my life back, and for them to be fired :)

    It's healthy to take sick days. I like that.

  14. I gave up on the weather folks years ago and now, what does my daughter want to do, be a meterologist... The only profession more maligned than attorneys!

  15. I didn't know that Alabama has the same weather we have in Texas. We have a saying here in Texas: "If you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes and it will change."

    I get my weather from the radar online.

    I"m glad you are feeling better.

  16. Nice card. What color it it?

    Watching the weather while under the weather, always entertaining. Here they just like to create drama by giving hints that the weather could, might, possibly, be life changing, and we should stay tuned for it.....the local channels here sound the same. I rely on "weather underground" even less accurate, but pretty good at giving the current temperature for my zip code.

  17. LOL, isn't that ridiculous?? *shakes head in wonder*

    So sorry you're sick, Bone...feel better soon!

  18. Weathermen are Liars! Ever Watch Nicolas Cage in that "Weatherman" movie? if you haven't it rocks. Folks throw food at him while he walks down the street milkshakes all kinds of crap- he surmises it is all cheap fast food that people throw at him, his weather predicting is not even worth good food.
    Glad you are feeling better, Dwight.
    We have a horrible accounting woman that is the female version of Dwight, she spit out a baby on a Friday afternoon and was back to work Monday morning... wouldn't miss a day!

  19. Lord Gary can predict tornados, not sunshine, rain, snow, sleet, wind, or anything else.

  20. Last weekend, our tv station predicted 10 inches of snow. We didn't even get an inch!

  21. Apparently there was an April Fool's Day hoax newspaper article here in 1981 about how scientists had developed a machine to control the weather... if that were really true, then I'd listen to the weather forecast. Otherwise, it seems to have little bearing on real life!

  22. Well, here's the thing...It's the people who are putting the forecast together that are screwing up. In the good ole UP, we have an amazing weather forecaster and weather analyzer who is accurate 90% of the time. In fact, he has the highest accuracy rating in Michigan. So I think you just need new weather analyzers.

  23. Sage - Oh my. For your sake, I hope Duke doesn't have a top notch meteorolgy program.

    PennyCandy - Oh yes, I think we have that same saying. There have been many times when I've used both the heat and the AC in the same day. Many, many.

    Cooper - I rely on "weather underground" even less accurate, but pretty good at giving the current temperature for my zip code.

    Haha. I think that's about the best we can hope for. I, too, use weather underground. Mostly because the name sounds like something I shouldn't be doing. Also, one of my other title ideas was "Under the weather and over it." I hope you're not reading my mind again.

    Fledgling Poet - Yes, it is ridiculous! Thank you for seeing my side of things :)

    Daily Panic - You are joking!!!! Oh man, that is the female Dwight! Does she know lots about bears and beets?

    OK Chick - Ah, I see. Lord Gary is a one-trick pony. Which isn't horrible. I mean, better a one-trick pony than a pony that doesn't do any tricks at all.

    Mama Zen - Thank you for that testimonial. As you can see, folks, people all over the country are disgusted with weather forecasters.

    J. Adamthwaite - Otherwise, it seems to have little bearing on real life!

    Hear, hear! I love that statement.

    Jen - Yeah, but is it really that hard to say "It's gonna be cold again tomorrow"? ;-)

  24. Hope you feel better. I usually just open the door in the morning. If it's raining, I know to bring a jacket.

  25. hope u feel better soon bone!
    Always keep an umbrella in your car!

  26. feeling better by now, I hope?