Friday, January 16, 2009

It's the Great Snowman, Charlie Brown

Well, they've done it to me again. Who are they, you might ask. They are the local weather forecasters, aka the bane of my existence. And they're crying snow again. Twice this week there was a chance of snow in the forecast. Yet here I sit--mittens at the ready--still waiting for the first flurry.

They are Lucy to my Charlie Brown, snatching the football of snow away time and again just as I get ready to kick it. Every winter, once or twice a week they call for snow. And every year, we get maybe one dusting the entire winter. Leaving my hope lying flat on its back and mumbling a disgruntled "good grief." OK, I think we've gone about as far as we can with the Peanuts analogy.

Weather forecaster seems to be the only profession where you can be wrong half the time and face no repercussions whatsoever. And they're completely unapologetic the next day. A little groveling would be nice. Do they not realize that at some point everyone is going to figure out they can get the exact same thing from, the Weather Pixie (I prefer Weathergirl #6) or a hundred other websites?

This is why I think we should just let the Vegas oddsmakers handle the weather. They seem to be right more often than meteorologists anyway. An eighty percent chance of rain? That's four to one odds right there. Two inches of snow accumulation? I got fifty on the under. If weathermen started losing money everytime they missed the forecast, I don't think they'd be so Gung-ho about crying snow.

A good friend asked the other day if I had ever thought of becoming a weatherman when I grow up. My answer was no. First of all, I'm nowhere close to being grown up. Secondly, I don't see how they show up to work day after day after day when they are wrong so frequently. It'd be like playing for the Washington Generals. And C of all, I'd be way too honest.

This would be a Bone forecast: "You want to know the truth? I have no frickin' idea if it's gonna rain. None of us do. It's not raining now, that's about all I can tell you. I did, however, spend the afternoon drawing these cool smiley face sunshines and mean-looking clouds for the five-day forecast. It took me about four hours. It's probably the best one I've ever done.

So rain or shine, sleet or snow, who the heck knows. Have a great weekend. Brian's up next with sports."

"Oh the weather outside is frightful. But the fire is so delightful. And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow..."


  1. "They are Lucy to my Charlie Brown, snatching the football of snow away time and again just as I get ready to kick."

    Good grief Charlie Brown. That's what I feel like too.

    No snow here in B'ham either. But it is mighty cold.

  2. The Mrs. and I are on opposite side of the spectrum here. I would love to get a nice healthy snowfall here in Texas. She's the reason we moved south to avoid that sort of thing.

  3. I love the snow, as long as it's somewhere else like Mammoth ;)

    That said, the almost eternal sunshine of the spotless Southern California does get me down sometimes. It doesn't have to snow, but is four seasons too much to ask?

  4. Shelby picked the exact sentence I had copied to paste

    This is more a huge smile on my face as I relate and love the language than a laugh out loud post

    If the person writing it (Bone) had a column I would read it every day because I love the style and in this post agree with everything about weather forecasters

    I gave up local network new in NY years ago because why? But now that I live in North Myrtle watch it again

    Thing is they cover large geographic areas or rather the topography changes--from beach to other side of the Appalachian that how would I know if they're right or wrong about the other side of the mountain?

  5. Yet here I sit--mittens at the ready--still waiting for the first flurry.

    Please post pics O:)

    I love, love, LOVE this post. It just screams disgruntled, child-esque Bone to me. Peanuts, wanting snow, a sarcastic Bonecast (that's my own personal phrase for a Bone forecast, don't concern yourself with it)... it's the perfect humor post. I read it with a big, dopey grin on my face, which was broken up a considerable amount by my laughter.

    I would love to have you as a weatherman. I love honesty - especially funny honesty. I get too annoyed with weathermen who always get it wrong too.

    P.S. I don't suppose next time you'd include that love photo you did, would you? I mean, if it's the best you've ever done, your faithful blog readers should get to see it :-)

  6. Wow, I was clearly confused as I was typing this morning. That PS should read "I don't supposed you'd post that little photo..." I guess I just felt the need to reiterate that I love this post - even in an incoherent way 8-)

  7. Shelby - Yep, it was supposed to be 9 here last night. But it's up to 11 now. I think I'm gettin' a little sweaty.

    Doohickie - I'm with you. I see no reason for it to be this cold if it isn't going to snow.

    Capn John - Eternal sunshine, PLUS you probably live within a two hour radius of Audrina! Yeah, that's gotta be tough :)

    Pia - Thanks! Maybe I could start a Give Bone His Own Column petition.

    TC - Thank you. Bonecast, that's not bad.

    A Bonecast is a brutally honest weather forecast. More of a nowcast. It can also be an action taken by Bone when he goes fishing. And occasionally may refer to a rigid brace worn by Bone when he has a broken bone and signed by all Bone's friends.

    TC again - Ah, I was wondering what my "love photo" was. I was afraid some pictures of me had gotten out on the internets.

  8. Sometimes you have the ability to make me feel really dumb by causing me to laugh out loud in an empty room.
    Seriously? Tears in my eyes imagining you giving that "honest" forecast.

    But, real talk? It annoys me that I CONTINUE TO BELIEVE THESE LYING PEOPLE!! Come on, Cami, think for yourself!

  9. the only place I've ever lived where they got the weather right was FL. And how was that??? cuz anyone can "predict" the weather in FL. You can see it coming from miles away. Course most of the time in FL the humidity is 100% with a 95% chance of rain and partly sunny.

    When I lived in WV they started predicting snow in Sept. It got so annoying..."75% chance of snow today!" snow. that by the time Dec rolled around and there was still no snow we just tuned them out...then in Jan we would finally get some snow.

    I think if you really want to see some snow you should plan a ski vacation.

  10. Oh it warms my heart to know that you know you're not grown up yet. I have been trying so hard to think of a kind way to tell you that.

    Still amazed Shelby took my sentence--and I think I'm mature? :)

  11. Bone, do you really wear mittens? :~)

    I think that weather forecasters should only get paid if they get it right...if that were the case, they'd all be on air each day like poor Brian, sweating bullets for their next paycheck. (That was so painful to watch! Poor guy.)

    Have a wonderful weekend~~

  12. I see no reason for the cold either but I do not want snow. You live in the South why would you want the nasty white stuff. Ugh!!! I hate it when they say the word and do the non-snow dance the way the Indians do a rain dance. If you want snow take a weekend trip North, get your fill, return home and enjoy the fact you don't have to shovel the stuff.

  13. Bone, I think you were reading the weather forecast for up here--and if you placed a bet for under two inches everytime snow was called for this winter, you'd be in line for one of them there gov't bailouts.

  14. Cami - Thanks :) That's almost as fun as laughing out loud with people around wondering what's so funny.

    Yeah, I roll my eyes everytime they predict snow. But a tiny part of me still hopes.

    Renee - So it's not just here then? Yes, it is annoying!

    Sounds like fun. I've water skiied, but never snow skiied. You volunteering to give me lessons? :)

    Pia - Oh, I'm quite aware of it. I suppose I should start thinking about growing up at some point.

    Anything else you've been trying hard to think of a way to tell me? :)

    Fledgling - I think that weather forecasters should only get paid if they get it right

    Ooo, I like that idea!

    Yeah, but I think the guy got a Letterman appearance out of it, so that's not too bad.

    PennyCandy - Snow is such a rarity here, and I'm such a kid, that it's always a treat anytime we get even a few flurries. I've often wondered how I'd feel if I lived in a place that got snow all the time.

    Sage - Bailouts for gambling debts? It's probably only a matter of time.

  15. "I have no frickin' idea..."

    Hahaha. I would almost pay to listen to you forecast the weather. Almost.

  16. It's Monday, 1:40 in the afternoon, and the snow is really coming down here right now. Here, 30 miles north of where you live. It's not sticking to anything, but is coming down hard nonetheless. Just had to tell ya! ;o)

  17. Serenity NOW!

    and do you really want me to teach you how to ski?

  18. They called for snow here- and my kids laughed and said- "No Way!"-
    I think we got 4 inches :)

    Last night you came up in coversation during 24. I meant to get over here last week during the Jack-o-thon weekend, but my time has not been my own lately :)
    I think it's as good as it ever was- and when Tony re-appeared- I flipped.
    Thrilled! :)
    Hope you have a great week!

  19. I would say you are lucky, getting stuck in traffic for over two hours, just this past Monday!! I for one wish I was on your end....! But wherever I go, the winter seems to be following me - Thanks for stopping by, you are right, I do need a vacation, not sure when I will be able to take some without worrying if I will have a job to get back to...with the state of the economy as it is, I am staying put...complaining :) Nice to read you again.

  20. I made it 3 minutes into that clip before I stopped it. I don't know that I'd be much better though.

    I like in Georgia. This is how a typical day goes. Wear a short sleeve shirt, a jacket, and bring an umbrella. If it's hot, take off the jacket. If it's cold, put on the jacket. If it rains, get the umbrella. If it doesn't, I've got a walking stick. Problem solved.

  21. R8chel - Cool! I've always wanted my own pay-per-view special.

    Grooviechick - Well, we finally got a few flurries. After they forecast snow five times in eight days, we got a few flurries.

    Renee - Sure. Although I'll get someone else to teach me how to get on and off the lift :)

    Mayden - Yeah, it's kinda like they've gone back to basics this year a little bit. I like it. And of course, Tony's return was great!

    UL - No one's suggesting driving in the snow. I just want to play and frolic and have snowball fights and make snow creme :)

    Charlotta - Well, once you start off bad, it is hard to recover. You get nervous, start sweating, and then... Boom goes the dynamite!