Thursday, March 26, 2009

Whatever gets you through the day

I do not live my life moment to moment, hour to hour, or even day to day. I choose rather to live from point A to point B, where each point represents some event, great or small, that I look forward to. In this present life, I am currently up to point #75,461: Watching the Duke/Villanova game tonight. Point #75,460 was watching The Office earlier this evening.

In the next couple of months, I am looking forward to attending the Alabama A-Day game (and also eating at Taco Casa), seeing Kenny Chesney in concert, running my hometown 10K, and spending a long weekend in Destin. My calendar hasn't been this full in... well ever. Of course, I don't actually have a calendar. The only calendar I really need is the one that pops up when I double click on the time in the lower right hand corner of my computer screen.

These life events that I look forward to aren't always as grand as a beach trip or a concert. Most are rather simple things that help me get through a day, an hour, or a week without weeping openly. Things like dinner with friends, staying up to catch a favorite band on Carson Daly, or urinating without pain or difficulty.

I've done this for as long as I can remember.

- In second grade, I looked forward to kickball day in PE. Also dodgeball so I could really nail the kids I didn't like.
- In middle school, I looked forward to Weekly Reader day.
- In ninth grade, I looked forward to physics because I sat in front of Ally Purcell. She was a senior who would always fall asleep during class and I always took great pleasure in waking her up, if you know what I mean. (That doesn't mean anything, just trying to liven things up a bit here.)
- In eleventh grade, I looked forward to every other weekend so that I could go out with Rachel and make out in the back of her Camaro. (You might recall that I saved up my lunch money for two weeks so that I could afford to take her out.)
- Freshman year of college, I looked forward to Calculus so that I could go to the mall. Though I didn't look forward to retaking Calculus.

These days, a typical week might involve me looking forward to watching 24 on Monday night, golfing on Tuesday, getting to see Nephew Bone on Wednesday, and a nice long afternoon nap on Thursday. This is how I get through life. Or as the kids say these days, how I roll.

Show me a man who has nothing to look forward to and I'll show you a man who doesn't play golf.

Some might say that I am wishing my days away, rather than living in the moment, breathing in the sweet nectar of each precious second. To those I would say, Duke and Villanova are starting. After that, Letterman will be on. Then I'll probably get some baked Doritos and listen to iTunes while surfing the 'net in my underwear.

All of which are things I have been looking forward to all day.

"Don't blink. Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap. And you wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife..."


  1. You crack me up. I couldn't stop laughing. But Bone you're too young to be so old :)

    Great title

  2. I want pictures. Of you surfing the net in your underwear that is.

    I have the game on but only because Villanova is my mother's undergrad alma mater, and we always had to watch these games when nova was playing, even when we lived in Tasmania, and believe me that was not easy.

    There is probably something to be said for living from Dorito orgasm to Letterman monologue, and could be a good suggested therapy for those of us who live from point to point on a much longer line.

  3. Funny, but with this quote, you got it all wrong:

    "Show me a man who has nothing to look forward to and I'll show you a man who doesn't play golf."

  4. I did NOT need to know you surf the net in your underwear! TMI! way too much TMI! That's like Kramer borrowing Jerry's swimsuit...okay maybe it isn't, but it is just as creapy! Oh I know! It's like George's photos of him in his shorts.

  5. The only calendar I really need is the one that pops up when I double click on the time in the lower right hand corner of my computer screen.

    Some might say that you would remember a few more dates/events if you had a calendar in which you could actually write things.

    Or, you know, if the computer calendar would let you type reminders for dates in that small space. You can steal that idea if you want.

  6. I do the exact same thing. Honestly, if there's someone out there not doing this, then he or she needs to be shaken hard.

    Right now, I am currently looking forward to taking my last certification exam, getting my new puppy, and graduating with my Masters in May. There's other things thrown in there, but those are the big things.

    Tonight, I looked forward to watching Hell's Kitchen and using my new oil-free hypoallergenic Garnier facial wipes. I know - I'm easily amused. There's just something about an unopened package meant for beautification that gets me all giddy!

    Continue living from chip to chip, for must-see-tv, and basketball games! In the end, if you have nothing to look forward to, then you might as well be dead.

  7. Pia - But Bone you're too young to be so old

    I'd argue if I could :) Thanks.

    Cooper - That probably should be my profile pic, since that is the state I am most often in when at the computer.

    Yes! The key is adding more things that you look forward to, no matter how miniscule, thus minimizing the time between points.

    Sage - All wrong? No, no, no. As long as there is golf, there is hope. If we couldn't golf, we would all go insane.

    Renee - Creepy? Get out! I'm single, thin, mid-thirties. Besides, I'm wearing a t-shirt, too.

    TC - Eh, if I did have one of those calendars, I'd probably forget to check it to see what I had written in it.

    Marina - Yes, I think one of the keys--at least for me--is being easily amused. Or just enjoying the simple things.

  8. I work in a school: all we do is wish our lives away! (1 week to Easter...)

    But I know what you mean about the small things; I do that too. Most week days begin with me tearing myself from my bed and registering that getting back into it tonight is something I'm really looking forward to! Besides that, dinner, a good book, whatever TV series I'm obsessed with... it all gives me another base to run to.

  9. Work is just about ready to start so I'm looking forward to the end and a weekend at home!

  10. I'm looking forward to the end of the afternoon today so that I can come back home and do nothing. awwh the sweet life of doing nothing.

  11. Take one point between the points!


  12. Ok so I just have to say that if you don't ever want to HAVE to plan things, then don't have kids. It takes TONS of planning to do ANYTHING! Even something as simple as going to Wal Mart! :)

  13. I have good friends in Silverhill and Fair Hope..
    And as per your comment on Mamma Zen's blog...Pop over to my blog if you have time, and see what I and many other's do on Friday Flash 55. It's fun, It's creative, It's easy. You are always welcome to join the fun....Galen

  14. J. Adamthwaite - Good point. That holiday calendar we always got at the first of the school year was definitely a things-to-look-forward-to list.

    Ed Abbey - Me, too. Well first, I'm looking forward to lunch. But after that, going home.

    Shelby - I'm looking forward to a rather relaxing weekend myself.

    Gautami - Just as long as there aren't too many points. As something I was reading the other day said, if life were constant joy, would we know it? :)

    Mrs. R - Don't have kids? Now you tell me! Just when I was so close to having them, too :)

    G-Man - Never heard of Silverhill, but I know Fairhope is near the beach!

    Thanks. I will check it out for sure.

  15. KENNY CHESNEY!!! I am bummed I am not going :( Hope the weather is great for you when you go to Destin. We got STORMED out. The Key Lime pie donut- yummy (I did another mile on the treadmill for eating it but it was worth it)

  16. Kenny Chesney . . . mmmm, I could definitely look forward to Kenny Chesney!

  17. Hate to be a downer but guess what my professors teach now: Dodge Ball is an 'elimination game' and shouldn't be allowed in the schools anymore.


  18. Bone Bone Bone; you never cease to amaze me. I wasn't sure if I should laugh or shake my head.

  19. If you post pictures of yourself surfing the net in your panties, could you at least buy a token pair of boxer briefs beforehand? We don't need to see those blue plaid boxers yet again. :-)

  20. Daily Panic - I hope the weather is nice for KC, too. It's outdoors at the amphitheatre.

    Haha. I kinda do the reverse of that when I go running. I'll reward myself with a snack or a Sonic milkshake afterward. Just something else to look forward to.

    Mama Zen - It's possible that I'm looking forward to it for slightly different reasons :)

    Charlotta - Oh geez. I think dodgeball provided some much needed stress relief. After all, second grade can be pretty stressful :)

    Penny Candy - I would advise laughing. There'll be plenty of posts to shake your head at later.

    Murf - Those boxers have been retired, if not bronzed. We? So you're the spokesperson for the group now? :)

  21. Now this post made me kind of sad. I'm not sure that you were joking in some of these. I guess I kind of live my life similarly. I'm thinking of what I have to do next hour, later tonight, or tomorrow. I think you should forego the baked Doritos though and go for the real deal. You're upcoming month sounds like it'll be very rewarding!

  22. trouble peeing?? HOW old are u bone??
    I have to say I can relate to this.. i kinda of live the same way.

  23. I am. Granted it's self-appointed. I'm also going to be the spokesperson for the newly formed "Say No to Sleeveless T-shirts" group as well. Sage seems to dig them too. Must be a Southern thing.

  24. "...seeing Kenny Chesney in concert, running my hometown 10K, and spending a long weekend in Destin."
    I want to do all these things too. Can I come? I saw KC in concert last year. It was part of my Summer Concert Series. Anyway, he puts on a great show. You'll have fun.

  25. Darly says: "So your butt is a biohazzard?"

  26. Hahaha. This reminds me of how I looked forward to taco and BBQ day in the high school cafeteria (the only days I didn't bring my lunch) and always bragged on the food to the cafeteria workers in hope that they would serve those entrees more often.

    Speaking of food, Taco Casa sounds like my kind of restaurant.

    At my elementary school, they called dodge ball "kill ball."

  27. I completely relate to living from event to event...and it's often the simple things that give us the most enjoyment. I think you've got it figured out pretty well, Bone. :~)

  28. Carnealian - Sad? Why ever for? I'm not sure I was joking in any of these :) Yeah, I try and maintain some semblance of being healthy, but baked Doritos definitely aren't the same as the original.

    Lucy - I'm sorry that you relate to the trouble peeing. lol

    Murf - Well, I was fairly certain you hadn't been elected :)

    No sleeveless shirts? You might as well take away our favorite hat, our remote control, and our will to live while you're at it.

    OKChick - Yep, yep, and yep. I especially could use some supporters at my 10K.

    Renee - Oh, most definitely.

    Ally - The only day I remember liking in the lunchroom was pizza day. Oh and cherry cobbler for dessert day.

    Taco Casa is yummy. I tried it for the first time last year.

    Fledgling Poet - Thanks. I think the more simple things you can find joy in, the better life is.

  29. hahaha !! that did sound like I was saying I related to your peepee problems! haha

  30. I'm also going to be the spokesperson for the newly formed "Say No to Sleeveless T-shirts" group as well.

    Murf... I think you're the only member of that group. I've gotta say, I don't find anything wrong with 'em. And... they don't leave a farmer's tan.

  31. Boxers or Briefs? That's all I have time to ask, as I am looking forward to playing Russian Revolver (solitaire - not the other) as soon as the TV is turned off along with the lights. Then having tea made for me once I finally fall asleep and wake up... then my poetry falling from my head... point to point, oh yeah... but just in case no one told you, at each point, you are in the moment... whether you realize it or not is another thing.

    Glad you are still so entertaining!