Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mine games

I was perusing my last several posts earlier today and realized I don't really do a lot of posts about my current life anymore. Most everything seems to either be a 24 recap, a piece of 3WW fiction, or a story from the past. I figure I can remedy that with a random post that's all over the proverbial map.

The problem with my car did turn out to be the catalytic converter. The guy at the exhaust place was nice enough to tell me the catalytic converter was covered under warranty up to 80,000 miles. My car has 70-something-thousand miles on it. So even though I vowed to never take my car to the dealership again, I made an exception in this case, since it was free.

At work, the walking carcinogen I so fondly refer to as Smokestack is still requiring me to use copious amounts of Lysol. I've also discovered that in addition to spreading lung disease, Smokestack is a notoriously poor speller. This is only compounded by his affinity for leaving post-it notes lying around.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed he'd left a note for Big Sweaty on which he had spelled dairy, d-e-r-r-y. A couple of days later the secretary came in and told me he had spelled Wednesday, w-e-n-s-d-a-y, on his time sheet.

But the capper had to be when I came across a note he'd left for himself. It read:

"Thursday 8:45 AM - Meeting of the mines"

So now anytime Smokestack is talking to anyone, the running joke around the office is that they must be having a "meeting of the mines."

Do you ever feel like you're living that monkey commercial?

On the bright side, I already know what I'm getting him for Christmas: Hooked on Spelling! That is, if I haven't contracted emphysema by then.

"Smoking in the boys room. Teacher don't you fill me up with your rules. Everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed in school..."


  1. First comment. That never happens.

    Smokestack sounds like a glorious piece of work. Meeting of the mines. Consider the phrase hijacked. It'll be my very own inside joke that no one else'll get.

    Good thing your car repair was free... catalytic converters aren't even in the ballpark of cheap.

    Don't forget to wish your momma a Happy Mother's Day.

  2. Glad your car is all fixed,and your wallet wasn't harmed in the process! Gotta love warranty :-D That's how I like to keep all my cars...under warranty :-P
    I think smokestack will die before you...let's push for that :-P

  3. Meeting of the mines.

    Priceless. Really.

  4. funnie that you dont post often about your life but when you do I fine them sooo amuzing... thinking back on the pranx you pulled on the secratary... or about your fashion cents... your cowboy phase... loling just thinking about it!

    I got 2 cards tuday from my kids... the spelling reminds me of Smokestacks! lol It does make me sorta giggle!

    Have a great day! =]]]

  5. e-mail address is in my sidebar (I can't find yours)...I have another blog...invitation only. Holler if you want to come visit :)

  6. Oh Man! I could have picked him up a nice and cheap spelling dictionary at the book fair...I almost got Darly another copy but she was there to remind me that I already had one. Good think I had her with me.

    Thanks so much for the Mom's Day wishes. That was very sweet of you and I know you showed your Mom a great day too! She's raised a good boy.

  7. Blondie: Haha. Feel free to use it. And, I spent most all day Sunday with my momma :)

    Arlene: Yeah, that was a nice and unexpected surprise. As my car isn't under warranty. Apparently it's unique to the catalytic converter.

    DCChick: I doubt I'll ever forget that phrase now.

    Kate: Thanks :) I'm gonna try to get back to posting more about day-to-day life. I think once 24 ends next week, that'll help.

    LOL Yeah, I guess he spells on about a 1st grade level. Maybe.

    Jennifer: Ah, OK. I'll definitely do that. Thanks for letting me know :)

    Kontan: You're welcome much.

    Renee: You are welcome. And thanks for the nice words :)

  8. Meeting of the mines, I know it was said before, but that's good

    Liked the general tone. bone meets the office

  9. At work, the walking carcinogen I so fondly refer to as Smokestack is still requiring me to use copious amounts of Lysol.


    I don’t know what it is about your random posts, Bone, but I’m generally in stitches by the time I’m done reading them. This one proved to be no exception to that rule!



  10. Oh!

    Should that have been Hill-are-ree-ous?


  11. that is some seriously poor spelling. i mean, he can't spell the days of the week? aack!

    i think it will take a lot longer to get emphysema. though, there might be some sort of disease you could contract from breathing in all that lysol day after day. better check into that! :)

  12. Do you ever feel like you're living that monkey commercial?

    But I'm pretty sure I'm one of the monkeys... Oh the joys of marketing. I am expected to be off the wall, and I live to exceed people's expectations!

  13. You need to send smelly a monkey gram. Seriously. Go to careerbuilder and send one. There's a pre-recorded one to smelly people. :)

  14. Oh goodness! I just love a poor speller. And not the kind that misspell things because they are typing quickly or haven't proofread their work. He's the kind I live for!!! I really do miss working with people that are fodder for my blog!

  15. Smokestack sounds like a character, btw, I don't complain about bad spelling.

    I think I'd prefer a "meetings of the mimes," they're usually very quiet.

  16. Pia: Bone meets The Office, huh? Well, that was bound to happen sooner or later :)

    TC: Should that have been Hill-are-ree-ous?

    Thanks. And yes, let's all begin spelling phonetically, shall we?

    Sizzle: there might be some sort of disease you could contract from breathing in all that lysol day after day.

    Oh gee, thanks for planting that seed in my head :)

    Melanie: I think Smokestack lives to lower people's expectations.

    Carmen: Is there really??? That would be perfect, assuming he could read it. Does it include lots of pictures?

    Carnealian: Sometimes I think certain people exist purely for blog fodder :)

    Sage: Haha. Yes, a meeting of the mimes. Now that would be intriguing.

  17. I read that the last episode of Seinfeld was nine years ago tonight.

    I don't know whether to send you a condolence message, or if you're happy you only have nine years of the show itself to memorize

  18. I too have been noticing that your posts are primarily the 24 recap and 3ww... I love it when you write funny stuff about your goings on... I know it's time consuming tho. We're such demanding readers we are. :)

  19. I think that was a nice humorous remedy :)

  20. Bone, you're not the only one with car problems. It could be worse: At least you weren't told this week it's time to get a new car.

    Also, I would like to point out that not all smokers are bad spellers nor do we all like post-it notes. I actually abhor post-it notes and find them to be a waste of good wood pulp.

    The fact that he doesn't care about smoking in front of you is disturbing though. I guess maybe that's why I have the title, "Polite Smoker" from my friends.

    However, Smokestack does sound quite a lot like some other people I know. I'll say a little prayer for you that you keep your sanity.

  21. Pia: I think condolences would be appropriate. Fortunately, there are over 150 episodes that will live on in my memory. Which actually might explain why I have so little room to remember other things :)

    Shelby: I'm gonna try to get back to more regular blogging, and hopefully a better variety of posts. Like I said, 24 ends next week.

    GirlFPS: Thanks :)

    Marina: Actually, that's the amazing thing about Smokestack. He never smokes inside. It's just that his clothes seem to be completely saturated with smoke, so that he emits an unbelievably strong and foul odor wherever he goes.

  22. Smokers stink...period. It doesn't matter where they smoke or how much they smoke (my mom only smokes 1/2 a pack a day...which according to her is a very low amount) but she still stinks. I've been away from smokers for so long that now any time I'm around one the smell is so bad I start coughing.
    I was at DD's gym class one day and this parent walked up to see his child through the observation window. He was at least 5 feet away but I could still smell him. Luckily he didn't stick around. But after class I saw him with his child and noticed how small she is...I am pretty sure that second hand smoking stunts the growth of your child...which would explain why I'm so short.

  23. If only they still made Speak and Spell!

    I loved that machine. That and my Mr. Professor calculator. Smokestack could probably use both! I doubt he's mathematically inclined, either. :)

    Poor Bone, you go through so much! If you'd only quit working and find some sweet, adoring fan to be your benefactor: You could be a self-employed, writer extraordinaire!

  24. that IS sick.

    I feel quite proud of myself now that everyone thinks I *don't* smoke. Yay me!!!