I'm guest blogging over at Pia's this weekend. She's taking a blogging break to write her first book. Once she gets her book deal, I believe she is taking me out to Caridad's for some delcious flan to show her appreciation. It's my first time to guest blog anywhere, so check it out when you have a chance.
So I was kissing a girl the other day...
I pull back, thinking we're done. She moves in for two more small pecks. I pause, then curiously ask, "Did you just count to ten?"
"Yes," she admits, sounding as if she's wondering where I'm going with this.
"You were counting kisses! And you couldn't stop at eight."
"I had to get to ten... and how would you know unless you were counting, too!"
She was right. Yes, my friends, I'm afraid it's true. My name is Bone. And I count kisses.
It's all part of my OCD. Perhaps you remember. The volume on my TV can't be left on 13 or any multiple thereof. My bedroom and closet doors have to be closed before I go to sleep at night. And on and on.
Let me tell you a little about our organization. Numbers are very important to us. I can give one kiss. Or three kisses. Or five kisses. Or ten kisses. But not six kisses or seven kisses. Why? Well, I'm not sure. Research is still being done in these areas.
And the acceptable numbers are different for different people. Although ten is usually a safe bet with most any OCD'er. In our example above, I was OK with stopping at eight kisses. I felt it was a nice even number. But my partner was not. Therefore, she moved in to push the kiss count up to ten. And in turn, give balance to her universe.
So think about that the next time you're kissing someone and they move in for an extra peck or two. It could mean they really like you and can't get enough. Or, they could just be counting to ten. Or five.
That's all for now. I'm off to bed. Right after I turn off the computer speakers, make sure both doors are locked, check to make sure the iron is unplugged even though I haven't ironed in days, make sure the bedroom and closet doors are closed, make sure the volume on the TV is not set on 26, and triple check the alarm clock to make sure it's on and set to AM and not PM.
"There's something about her. And you don't know why, but you're dying to try. You wanna kiss the girl..."
Had to sleep last night with the bedroom bathroom door open--has a window, needed cross vent--couldn't look
ReplyDeleteHave come home to check my gas stove---and I don't have a gas stove anymore
But I never thought about the kissing thing before
And thank you Bone for a brilliantly written postop
sounds like a very sly way of getting more kisses to me. ;)
ReplyDeletei have a few OCD tendencies, like checking the door to make sure it's locked despite the fact that I clearly remember doing it 3 times already. :)
You are weird! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI've never heard of counting kisses. Besides the obvious question of 'why?' I'm not even sure I understand how you count kisses. What constitutes one kiss? Do you have to pull your head back for the kiss to be over or is it any time there ceases to be any contact at all between the lips, even if it's just for a quick breath of air or to switch nose sides?
Now I'm wondering if anyone has ever counted kisses with me.
you've ruined kissing for me forever. i hope you're happy!
ReplyDeleteOh Bone...I think you should only date women with OCD too because you would drive a non-OCD person crazy. And, if you were kissing me...I'd purposely steal kisses just to make the number off. heehee!!! Really, is there a "right" number of kisses?
ReplyDeletePia: You are welcome. And is Caridad really closing? I guess we'll have to go somewhere else. Ever been to Mendy's?
ReplyDeleteCarmen: I wonder if everyone has at least a few OCD tendencies?
Lizzie: Someone may have counted kisses with you and you didn't even know it.
I believe there must be a break in contact before the next kiss begins. Although I'll have to check my Official OCD'ers Guide To The Universe to be sure :)
Lux: I try :)
Carnealian: Yeah, like that's the reason you'd steal kisses ;-)
Caridad had expanded. was never as good. Now the part that was the expansion is for rent, and Caridad is renovating back to the initial restaurant
ReplyDeleteMendy's? No, but I know it. Scared to ask whyaa
You're so weird! I love it!
ReplyDeleteDoes a fear of being jinxed fall into the OCD freakout category? Or is that a whole 'nother thing on its own?
Ah, but do all of your shirts face the same direction in the closet? Mine are supposed to. But I think Nick hangs stuff up backwards just to mess with me and make me change them all around while I yell at him and he sits there and giggles.
ReplyDeleteYou're adorable.
ReplyDeleteI don't count kisses, but I can't fall asleep if the covers on the bed aren't straight. I think everyone has their own kinds of OCD....some just weirder than others :)
ReplyDeleteMy hubby says one of my strangest traits is my "princess-and-the-pea" routine. I am a total comfort freak, and cannot sleep on sheets that are wrinkled, hair that is wadded up, cannot wear shirts with tags, cannot keep things in my jeans pockets because I can feel them and they make me crazy. I have hardly slept all week because I cannot sleep on my left side. I'm about to be crazy!!
I think everyone has a few OCD tendencies.
ReplyDeleteI think that may very well be the best one I have ever heard of though. :)
Too cute of a story! Does the girl like the new glasses?
Meant to add that I love that song. :)
ReplyDeleteCan't say that I've ever counted kisses. I'm usually too busy at the time.
ReplyDeleteOh and if you go to Mendy's... don't have just the soup, 'cuz that's not really a meal.
ReplyDeleteDid you count out the money in even or odd numbers when you paid her? (:
ReplyDeleteLOVE YA!
Dea
Heather B: Jinxing is in a separate category.
ReplyDeleteLass: No, but hers do. And, all the cans in her cabinets have to be turned the same way.
Yeah, I would mess with you, too. Although, I admit it is a bit cruel.
Blondie: I like how you got that from this post :)
Jennifer: Suddenly, I feel much more normal :) I hope you heal up so that you can get some restful sleep soon.
Traveling Chica: She better. She and the girl at the eye place picked them out :)
The song seemed to fit. Although I can't believe I have quoted a song from The Little Mermaid.
Renee: What about soup and a sandwich? That could be a meal, right?
DeannaMichelle: I'm not OCD about money, for your information :)
So it's THAT girl, huh Bone? Welllllllll... seems like you've been holding out. :)
ReplyDeleteSmart thinking on your part though, taking a girl you're romantically interested in to help you pick out glasses. Now you know she's going to see you in them want you. :)
The song did fit. :) Too cute!
i have never experienced this counting kisses thing but now i will be paying attention for it. i like how sly you are- "i was kissing a girl the other day..." oh WERE you? ;)
ReplyDeleteWell it's on the menu as a meal, so yeah. A Soup and a Sandwich is a Meal...you're done!
ReplyDeleteOr you could just give back the jacket.
It's called Prozac. When you care enough to realize...it's a little too much. :)
ReplyDeleteOh Bone, you are too cute! Counting Kisses....lol. I have some OCD issues but I've never counted kisses ;)
ReplyDeleteNext time I'm kissing or being kissed and he kisses me more than once I'll have to question....is he counting? LOL
Traveling Chica: Occasionally, I do something smart :)
ReplyDeleteMs Sizzle: Tried to just slip that in unnoticed :)
Renee: I always gave the jacket away.
Tenacious One: Oh man, I just wikipedia-ed it. It also treats ADHD? I gotta get me some of that.
RedneckGirl: That was my intention. I'm sure 99% of people aren't as OCD as me.
LMAO. OMG, I've never thought to count kisses. I"m kind of weird about the numbers 13 and 19. I hate those numbers.
ReplyDeleteChickadee: Yeah. No 13 for me either. Or multiples thereof.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I can't even count up to one.
ReplyDelete